posted July 13, 2011 11:49 AM            

I am wondering about the effects of a Venus Chiron square in the natal.

Here's something I found, and I'd like to know if it's accurate.

"With the square, our sensitivity becomes a blocking hypersensitivity that creates obstacles to the smooth progress of love and intimacy in our relationships. There is a tendency to avoid intimacy due to our unwillingness or inability to expose our vulnerable core, and we can therefore come across as cold, distant and unloving — which will very quickly put the brakes on much of our relationship potential. This aspect can make us especially high-maintenance, because we demand a partner who can feed our sense of wounded affection whilst we are simultaneously unwilling to give very much in return."
http://sasstrology.com/2008/09/chiron-in-houses-and-in-aspect-to-venus.html

posted July 13, 2011 12:12 PM            

Of course, a square is always a much more difficult aspect.
I can't speak to Chiron square Venus.

posted July 13, 2011 02:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Hi folks,

I am wondering about the effects of a Venus Chiron square in the natal.

Here's something I found, and I'd like to know if it's accurate.

"With the square, our sensitivity becomes a blocking hypersensitivity that creates obstacles to the smooth progress of love and intimacy in our relationships. There is a tendency to avoid intimacy due to our unwillingness or inability to expose our vulnerable core, and we can therefore come across as cold, distant and unloving — which will very quickly put the brakes on much of our relationship potential. This aspect can make us especially high-maintenance, because we demand a partner who can feed our sense of wounded affection whilst we are simultaneously unwilling to give very much in return."
http://sasstrology.com/2008/09/chiron-in-houses-and-in-aspect-to-venus.html

Are people with this aspect really cold in relationships? Is it because of fear of being hurt/rejected?

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I have the aspect and I am not cold at all. quite the contrary. i am clinigy and needy. well, venus-mars-sun in cancer. AC ruler (venus) in cancer....

posted July 20, 2011 05:52 PM            

Do you have this aspect in your chart? Or, do you know someone who does and are wondering about them?

Chiron makes an exact square to my Venus (as well as my Sun, Mercury, & ASC) so I'll try to explain how it feels as best I can.

I have to say I agree with everything you quoted.. sadly. I don't want to say I come off as cold, though.. stand-offish and apprehensive would be a better way of putting it, I think. There is a HUGE fear of being hurt and/or rejected! I automatically assume that it WILL happen, so why waste my time? If I do allow myself to let a relationship form, I become somewhat obsessive over the person. But then, just like that.. I'll end up somehow sabotaging the relationship. Even if I still like/love the person! Goes back to the fear of being rejected.. instead of them ending it, I'll do it first. I guess I just figure there's going to be pain involved when it comes to love, but instead of being vulnerable and opening myself up to potentially allow another person to hurt me, it's better if I just do it myself since I can control how much pain I cause.

posted July 20, 2011 07:45 PM            

I don't have this aspect myself but I know someone who has it, and I was just wondering what it was like.

A good astrologer told me that Venus Chiron hard aspects meant low self-esteem and that people with these aspects felt "ugly" and unworthy of love.

Don't know if that rings any bells?

posted July 20, 2011 09:35 PM            

I am high maintenance but I pay my own way.
I do this because it allows me independence.

No self esteem issues but
(and I have said this before)
I have a really hard time forgiving myself and nothing anyone says can offset this.
I guess because I know exactly where I've fallen short on standards.

Also I never give my all in love relationships, I don't know why, I do hold back a lot maybe because if I fall short I'll have something left to fall back on.

posted July 20, 2011 10:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Hi Olivia, thank you for your reply.

I don't have this aspect myself but I know someone who has it, and I was just wondering what it was like.

A good astrologer told me that Venus Chiron hard aspects meant low self-esteem and that people with these aspects felt "ugly" and unworthy of love.

Don't know if that rings any bells?

Also, what other aspects does your Venus and Moon make? I'd like to know

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Yes, they both ring a bell.. absolutely. I'm 20 now, but I've struggled with low self esteem my whole life.. and it's still an ongoing battle. I'm very self-concious and have always felt ugly.. no matter what people tell me. I just think they're lying if they say otherwise. I don't feel worthy of love, either. People I'm interested in/like/love, or just care about in general.. I feel selfish and guilty if they reciprocate the same for me. Not sure how to explain.. but I feel they're wasting 'feeling' that way on me when there are people out there that are better than me and could offer them more.
I also agree with a lot of what lalalinda said! I'm very, very hard on myself and if I don't live up to my ideal, I never truly forgive myself. I hold back in love, as well.. but, I fully expect the other person to give nothing short of their all.

posted July 20, 2011 11:14 PM            

I have this placement. I feel that my romances trigger childhood pain (chiron on my mc). So there can be anxiety around relationships and a certain stiffness as I use energy trying to keep things compartmentalised. I guess this stops the flow of affection(as a trine may provide), and blocks confidence.

The other person can prolly sense this static energy.

My ex had the same, in the same houses as me, and the same sins too

posted July 21, 2011 04:58 AM            

Sounds like a difficult aspect indeed..

Olivia, I think the square from Saturn reinforces your bad feelings about yourself.

But you know what, with that stellium on the Asc, especially with Venus there, you must be a lovely, charming person.
So please don't think you don't deserve love. Because everyone does

Anyway, what would help you guys open up?
What do you expect from people? Total devotion? What can one do to make you feel secure?

posted July 21, 2011 10:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sassaqua:
Hi Doux Rêve,

I have this placement. I feel that my romances trigger childhood pain (chiron on my mc). So there can be anxiety around relationships and a certain stiffness as I use energy trying to keep things compartmentalised. I guess this stops the flow of affection(as a trine may provide), and blocks confidence.

The other person can prolly sense this static energy.

My ex had the same, in the same houses as me, and the same sins too

It was "interesting" watching his push me away and destruct the relationship

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posted July 21, 2011 10:33 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Thank you all for the replies guys.

Sounds like a difficult aspect indeed..

Olivia, I think the square from Saturn reinforces your bad feelings about yourself.

But you know what, with that stellium on the Asc, especially with Venus there, you must be a lovely, charming person.
So please don't think you don't deserve love. Because everyone does

Anyway, what would help you guys open up?
What do you expect from people? Total devotion? What can one do to make you feel secure?

I've been trying to make it work with this one person, but they keep pushing me away.. so frustrating.

---

Yeah, the addition of Saturn definitely adds to it all..
And thank you for the kind words.
You would think with that stellium on my ASC, especially being in Libra, that I would be some social butterfly.. but that's not the case at all! I'm very reserved and shy. I will admit that I'm very nice though. Coming up in December transiting Saturn is going to conjunct the whole stellium for a while and I'm very excited about that! Hopefully it'll help me face and deal with the Chiron & Saturn problems.

posted July 21, 2011 11:48 AM            

Thank you for your help !

posted July 23, 2011 12:34 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:

Sounds like a difficult aspect indeed..

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Doux,

Are you familiar with the Law of Attraction?

Reading what you wrote (above), I had a couple of impressions.

I think it would help you not to focus on the negative. It can help to know what (natal aspects) you're working with, but it may be more constructive to focus on the positive aspects, and encouraging them.

quote:

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I've been trying to make it work with this one person, but they keep pushing me away.. so frustrating.

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"Trying".. ouch! I think perhaps if you stopped "trying" hard to make it work, it may help tremendously. Like the horary suggested, it may be his move - just keep the lines of communication open. Focus on being happy where you are, and light.. that lightness will come across in your communication. If you stop trying, he'll wonder what's up, what's different, and it may encourage him to reach out. Let him figure it out & pursue you. Many men do like the thrill of the chase after all.

posted July 23, 2011 04:34 AM              

I don't feel ugly or unworthy of love. If anything, its the opposite. I have been blessed to have lots of love in my life but on "romantic" love, I score a big fat zero! It is dramatic on a whole another level than what drama people normally go through. Guys who fall for me are the ones who think I'm too good for them and feel the need to sabotage everything, we both end up losers. I do enjoy saying "love sucks" all the time hahaha I envy other people because I can see they have normal/easier love experiences of the romantic sort.

I do feel a wound of some sort, I've never been able to express love.

posted July 23, 2011 11:43 AM            

I feel better now, I am trying to live my life and don't have all the bad feelings anymore.

I guess I am becoming wiser, I am not afraid to let go now. If something happens, good for me, if not, I am okay with that too.

aquavenus, thank you for sharing.
It's a good thing you're learning to express your love, and who cares if it's not done in an "appropriate" way or whatever, you're doing it right!

VenusDiSirius, thank you! I missed that one!
Lovely site.

posted July 23, 2011 08:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by CancerRising:
Whoah, this is freaky because just the past week my one good friend who is really very sweet and funny (Sun Leo, Venus Virgo square Chiron) said he has problems with initmacy. Not sexually, but by getting close to someone. I have another friend with the Venus Chiron square and he's the same way. They both have never had girlfriends.

And when girls do show interest they get baffled and a little frigid. Always made me wonder...

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posted July 23, 2011 08:55 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Thank you all for the replies guys.

Sounds like a difficult aspect indeed..

Olivia, I think the square from Saturn reinforces your bad feelings about yourself.

But you know what, with that stellium on the Asc, especially with Venus there, you must be a lovely, charming person.
So please don't think you don't deserve love. Because everyone does

Anyway, what would help you guys open up?
What do you expect from people? Total devotion? What can one do to make you feel secure?

I've been trying to make it work with this one person, but they keep pushing me away.. so frustrating.

---

I agree that it can be saturn. i dont have saturn aspecting my venus. having chiron square my venus-mars-sun i can tell that total devotion definetly helps. maybe it is just me venus-mars-sun cancer. but the more secure i feel about the love, the more air i give to my partner. and of course the best of me becomes more evident.