posted July 14, 2011 10:52 AM            

Much of what we do is deal with electronic money everyday. As a reslut, we have to be able to deal with a multitude of things sometimes at the same time.

We get on each others' nerves, lose our composure as well as our heads!

Anyway, lately I had a huge clash with my work colleagues. I wasn't storming angy, just a little ****** ( the situation that caused it is just too mundane to detail. Too boring)

Now, as a result,my realtionship with them in affected. I am not the same with some of them; as if the "saperk" that kept us all in one groove is gone.

They can sense it in my voice; I adress them very formaly but with less enthuisiasm and make less jokes. Basically, things between them and I now, are strictly professional and I can also feel it.

But the thing is, I think I kinda internalized the fight, started having thoughts that I can't trsut anyone or allow myself to be vulnerable with anybody, ih the evnt that such things would happen again.

I went home, after the fight, with a knot in my stomach. I didn't sleep well and was anxious the following day. they seemed to have moved on with life and expect me to treat them the same and I just can't. I feel hurt by them, even downright made a fool of.

I know that I just can't "get over it" and I was wondering what is causing all this to stay stagnant in me.

It's become a coping mechanism that even in relationships,I find in difficult to forgive...nevermind to forget and I've isolated people whom really care for me.

What causes a person to not forget a wrong , what causes a person to hold a grudge?

I have my Mars in Libra in 6th house and I hear this is connected to fights and antagonism in the workplace but I also have Pluto in Scorpio also on the cusp on the 7th; moving out of the 6th.

I also have my moon in Cancer in 3rd; is that what causes me to be so sensitive to how people speak to me?

My placements are:

Sun in SAG in 8th
mOON IN cancer in 3rd
Mercury in Capricorn 9th
Venus in Scorpio 7th
Mars in Libra 6th
Satur in Scorpio in 7th
Jupiter in Sagittarius 8th

posted July 14, 2011 12:04 PM            

I don't hold a grudge, I mean, that's not how I personally would phrase it, but
when something goes wrong it bothers me for a LONG time.
The more invested I am emotionally, the worse it is.
And I have Cap MC, so work is important to me, and I DO get emotionally invested there.
(not to mention I have a 6th H stellium, with the moon in it, argh.)

Well, anyway, with age I've learned the 'This To Shall Pass' thing.
And also, I've learned that SO much is perception.
What we see and internalize is often very different than what others think.

posted July 15, 2011 02:04 AM            

Its actualy my fisrt time talking with someone who has the same placing as I do.

Yes, I think what I meant to say was that I get emotionally invested in work too. But I my Aquaarius on the midheaven? But then again it forms a very tight sqaure with my Saturn.

I sleep when I am stressed or watch cartoons. I don't know if that is a destressing technique or a coping mechanism? But what I never do ,when emotionally fired up, is eat!

posted July 15, 2011 08:08 AM            

The issue was not resolved, it just hung in the air and was assumed "over".

Its not like it is in sitcoms where after a firestorm, the "guilty" party apologises and the other one also asserts his own contribution to the argument.

I think it affects me when people talk down to me or speak in a way that is offensive.

I know that most people think that its petty but thing is, I never speak to people like that, even when they are being stubborn and impossible. I am always respectful as I understand that people don't often see things in the same view and whilst I can get impatient when someone does not understand my point of view, it does not make theirs less valid.

posted July 16, 2011 04:49 AM            

I have merc/nept/ and SN in scorpio and I'll tell you what,
it's a very... hmm..
"You get what you give" sort of thing..
Like, IF someone worked for me, so that I could take a day off, I would work for them, ONE day, and so on..
everything has to be .. even?
(ok, this could be the libra mars, lol)

but, another example is:
My boss (ex boss now) did not say happy birthday on my FB page, on my bday..
I knew she was online b/c I saw her posting all day, so to me..
it was a personal snub