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Author Topic:   I don't understand this Cancer man. HELP
MsLeoSun
Newflake

Posts: 4
From:
Registered: Aug 2011

posted August 02, 2011 06:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsLeoSun     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have the biggest crush on our fed ex guy at my work. he comes in every saturday and we are incredibly awkward and shy with each other. Mostly small talk and LOTS of eye contact and smiling. He never talks to anyone else in the store or even looks at anyone else. I am a Leo woman and pretty much the epitome of that. I am especially VERY straight forward (as a rule.) And I NEVER get flustered or nervous around I a guy I am into. But with him, I can barely remember my own name.
Last Saturday I FINALLY got the courage to invite him to a Brewers Festival with me and some friends. I can't think of anything less threatening than a large event where he can drink a ton of different types of beer (Which I know he likes) After some back and forth and him asking lots of questions, he finally got my number. He texted me before he got out of the parking lot. I told him I would let him know when I knew what the plan was. And we ended the conversation. 10 minutes later he texted me again saying that he wasn't sure what he was doing that night but he would let me know if he heard of anything going on.... I told him that sounded great. Later on I found out the plans for the next day at and texted him to let him know. He never responded. I decided to try one more time the next morning to see if he was going, and again. No response.
This is obviously a VERY shortened version of the situation, and may not portray this completely accurately. But at first I was SO sure he was into me, and now I am confused... I will more than likely see him again on saturday since he has to come into my work.... What's going on? Any insight?

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bunnies
Knowflake

Posts: 454
From: u.k
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 02, 2011 06:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for bunnies     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My first instinct (and it is just that because I don't know how much info you have on him) is that he is either married or in a relationship of sorts.
Hence the checking to see what's going on. He's waiting to see if he can slip away. He obviously can't (probably off to the in- laws) and that would explain the silence.
Don't text him again (needy) but do some asking around.
But this does sound like the usual "man in a relationship who is just having a flirt"

He will run a mile if he is and you keep texting him.
He will then cover his back by telling everyone that you are a "bunny boiler" and stalking him.
Do some investigation.

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MsLeoSun
Newflake

Posts: 4
From:
Registered: Aug 2011

posted August 02, 2011 07:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsLeoSun     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Normally thatwouls be my first instinct as well, but I do know from a mutual friend that he is single and not currently dating anyone.

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Amethyst33
Newflake

Posts: 3
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2011

posted August 02, 2011 07:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Amethyst33     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Having 2 long-term Cancer mate I think your Cancer guy is intimidated about going to a
"group" event. I think you should ask him about something you need "help" with on a one-on-one basis. cancers are patient and often introverted (at least until they progress into Leo) I think Cancer Guy is interested in you, but not your "group." Think about it, how comfortable are you when you are around a bunch of new people and you only know one person, barely if at all. Don't give up on him but maybe invite him to watch a movie and offer some beer and pizza. Cancers are more happy at home. I think he is just overwhelmed. Great idea! Can you purchase a 6-pack of some awesome beer and invite him over to help you drink it? Just text or call him after this event is over and let him know you purchased beer especially for him. I am hoping he will take the bait! Oh I so wish you knew about his hobbies or you could think of someting. Cooking it is. Beer and nachos? Pizza? Put on a funny show or movie. Ask for help about something, anything he might be able to help you with. Good luck. Be creative. It took both my Cancer mates a year before we got together so be patient. You only need one great question to start this "over." Just the 2 of you. Food and beer. Sports if he likes them. Watch a game together even if you hate sports. He will relax as you put some high expectations on him with the "group" thing. He is "out of his comfort zone." Good luck and bless you.

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bunnies
Knowflake

Posts: 454
From: u.k
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 03, 2011 12:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for bunnies     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh well if that's the case and he is single then stand back.
You have texted him twice and you have asked him out.
Now it's his turn. Don't do anything else but just be pleasant when he comes in.
Never mind the Cancer nonsense. He's a man. He should have the bottle to suggest something if he wants to go further.
Your intentions are clear.
If he does nothing about it then he will not be for you.

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MsLeoSun
Newflake

Posts: 4
From:
Registered: Aug 2011

posted August 03, 2011 01:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsLeoSun     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Normally thatwouls be my first instinct as well, but I do know from a mutual friend that he is single and not currently dating anyone.

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fromashes
Newflake

Posts: 3
From:
Registered: Aug 2011

posted August 07, 2011 09:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for fromashes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My experience with cancer men is that they are indirect so rather than say "no" they would say "yes" and then back out or be unavailable if they really meant "no." it sounds as if he has an interest in you just not in doing the suggested activity.

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annaf
Knowflake

Posts: 49
From:
Registered: Jun 2009

posted August 08, 2011 01:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for annaf     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Didnt realize you posted this in two different places on this forum. Had replied in Soul Unions:
I think if he is a grown man, straight and available, I can't really think of many other explanations than he is probably not really interested. You approached him with a wonderfully easy opportunity for him to get to know you, no effort required by him,....and he's just ignoring it. In the past I always had these drawn out arguments with more experienced female friends, who were telling me (or other friends) in such a situation point blank a man isn't interested if you have made it clear you are interested in getting to know him better and he doesnt react. I always, always resented their point of view and argued the shy option, but unfortunately in every single case they turned out to be right.

Don't get me wrong I really don't believe in those stupid, dogmatic 'He's just not into you' rules. I do think men can be shy and need a little bit of nudging and friendly encouragement and if the woman fails to give him the right signals, there is indeed the danger in some shy 'cases' that the man will not make a move. However, if she is giving off the right signals and he just ignores, I'm afraid it's just not a great indication he's attracted/available.

Of course there's always the faint chance he encountered some disaster in his life. So for me I'd see how he reacts when he sees you next time. If I had the faintedst impression that he is avoiding the question/doesn't seem sincere etc., I would unfortunately take this as a clear sign that the attraction is just not mutual or he is already in a relationship.

What are his other planet. placements?

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