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Author Topic:   An Aries with a conscience doesn't want one
MoonWitch
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posted August 04, 2011 11:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonWitch     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sometimes... just every now and then but more often now that I'm a little older... just sometimes... I wish I didn't care what other people think and feel. I wish I weren't so empathic. I wish I weren't so sympathetic. I wish I wasn't such wuss.

I'm an Aries. I'm not generally a typical Aries and I'm pretty mellow but sometimes I wonder if that's just because it's I have such an aversion to confrontation. I don't know what in my chart creates that but I sit here wondering if it's easier to be 'nice' and 'calm' and the one everyone can rely on or if I should really let myself just throw everyone else under the bus because that is really the easier way to go. Am I taking the high road by being so forgiving and 'zen' or am I taking the timid and weak road by letting everyone walk all over me?

Maybe I'm really disappointed in a lot of the people around me that I've considered really close lately. Being the nice easy going one got me nowhere in those cases. I think they just take it for granted that they can toss me aside when they want to because I'll be cool with it or I'll get over it.

I don't even know why I'm ranting now except that I've had a couple beers and that usually released the floodgates. My life is unimaginably good in a lot of ways. I've just had it in my head lately the phrase "Well-behaved women seldom make history." and that is completely true.

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Lonake
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posted August 04, 2011 11:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Is t.Uranus on your Sun yet? Where is it placed natally and what house does it rule, may give you more info in the area where you're ready to break free.

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Lonake
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posted August 04, 2011 11:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
wondering if it's easier to be 'nice' and 'calm' and the one everyone can rely on
---If you want others to see you as a reliable solid shoulder type person, then this is the way to go, sounds Taurus like to me.

if I should really let myself just throw everyone else under the bus because that is really the easier way to go. Am I taking the high road by being so forgiving and 'zen' or am I taking the timid and weak road by letting everyone walk all over me?
---If your actions don't result in getting what you want or need then I don't think it's a positive thing. I'm not sure what you're getting at, maybe you're saying others are not reliable when you need them (?) do you voice what you need from them? Because if you do and they consistently fail to take that into account, I dunno, I have strong Pluto so I would break ties, but Aries I guess would just have to be more assertive.

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sand
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posted August 05, 2011 01:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sand     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
it's soo much easier to be nice and calm. probably healthier too.

iv learned (am learning haha) not to expect anything from people. moon inconjunct neptune for ya.

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted August 05, 2011 02:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If someone stopped talking to me...i will usually try to rationalize why that probably was. Usually i'll realize some time later why it was...it'll just come to me.

I definitely have felt thos same way before. And i met someone who let me break free and speak my mind in a way that people find charming. This person helped me realize that people admire when you're honest in a funny and shocking way. You know...when you say the truth that nobody else talks about...and everyone is just so shocked u had the balls to be urself that they just have to like you. It's really fun to be rebellious and unconventional now. I can say whatever i want And be as honest as i want about the things nobody talks about (but in a funny, carefree way) and people just laugh. I think u know the answer to what u hav to do. Right now you're doing what you do so that others will like you. Or let me rephrase that...so that EVERYONE will like you. I was at that stage too for a long time till i snapped out of it, heh. Thankfully! . And, i mean, i realized that people will like dislike you no matter what you do...so u might as well just be yourself...whater that's rude, bossy, kinda mean sometimes, selfish, depressed, sarcastic, pessimistic ...even bratty.

People will like you for your imperfections. If you find someone who gets ur mean sense of humor or who enjoys ur teasing and isnt hurt by t and teases right back then u've found a friend who like u for you! You, know? And that always feels great. Just being accepted for who u are...

I remember this one jonas brothers episode...haha ..yes i used to have to watch this show when my lil sis was in love with it and wouldnt change the channel, where the blonde girl was saying sorry to joe for hurting his feelings with her bluntness about all the things that were wrong with him. Then someonody else told er she was too blunt and hurtful, too. So she tried really hard to be perfect and be nice to everyone and never ever rock the boat. And her friends (including joe) were like ...."What happened? Why are you acting this way. ....We want the old you back. :/ All of a sudden ur not being urself and its like u dont have a personality." And she explained that she was just trying to fix everything ppl said was wrong with her, and her friends were like "no, we like u just the way u are. It's not the same without all that stuff that makes u who u are. We like u cuz we think the way u already are is cool. So, you're blunt. That's just a part of what makes you you."

Also, astrology if anything in the WORLD, shows that synastry is what really matters, right? Even if u are quiet and shy and have no personality...just by the way u look the way u move and even the slightest bit of expression in ur eyes..you will attract a friend just bc of the synastry u have with that person. You dont have to impress or do favors or be anything or anyone for a friend, you know? They will like you even when ur quiet and shy and think u have nothing to offer, just because it only takes looking at someone to see of u think they are cool or not.

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teasel
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posted August 05, 2011 04:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I know what you mean. That's a big part of what's been getting to me for over a year now - how it seems as though I'm expected to just take certain treatment.

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bethcarliseh
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posted August 05, 2011 04:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for bethcarliseh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MoonWitch:
Sometimes... just every now and then but more often now that I'm a little older... just sometimes... I wish I didn't care what other people think and feel. I wish I weren't so empathic. I wish I weren't so sympathetic. I wish I wasn't such wuss.

I'm an Aries. I'm not generally a typical Aries and I'm pretty mellow but sometimes I wonder if that's just because it's I have such an aversion to confrontation. I don't know what in my chart creates that but I sit here wondering if it's easier to be 'nice' and 'calm' and the one everyone can rely on or if I should really let myself just throw everyone else under the bus because that is really the easier way to go. Am I taking the high road by being so forgiving and 'zen' or am I taking the timid and weak road by letting everyone walk all over me?

Maybe I'm really disappointed in a lot of the people around me that I've considered really close lately. Being the nice easy going one got me nowhere in those cases. I think they just take it for granted that they can toss me aside when they want to because I'll be cool with it or I'll get over it.

I don't even know why I'm ranting now except that I've had a couple beers and that usually released the floodgates. My life is unimaginably good in a lot of ways. I've just had it in my head lately the phrase "Well-behaved women seldom make history." and that is completely true.


I think that you should stop letting people walk over you. It is time that you spread your wings, so to speak. The stored up negative energy needs to be released.

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Lonake
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posted August 06, 2011 12:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sand:
iv learned (am learning haha) not to expect anything from people.

This is me. You don't get disappointed as much. Like when you believe in promises. O so so so bad an idea. Don't. lol.

^ Probably a lot of Earth helps with this.

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bethcarliseh
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posted August 06, 2011 03:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for bethcarliseh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You shouldn't stop expecting stuff from people. You don't want to be emotionally cold and shut off from the potential good things that people can bring you. You just need to learn which people are good and which people are not good for you.

Don't let the bad people ruin the good ones for you.

Closing off everyone is giving in to fear. It is not a positive response or the appropriate way to deal with past negative experiences from the wrong kind of influences.

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Lonake
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posted August 06, 2011 04:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^ Thanks for all of your 'shoulds' but I'm doing well. Expectations carry too much weight and only lead to disappointment. Actions are what I read others by now and it has been much more clear and smooth-sailing.

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sand
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posted August 06, 2011 05:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sand     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
doesn't mean they're bad either because they let you down or disappointed you IMO. just that you shouldn't. some people don't even voice expectations. they just project immediately.

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bethcarliseh
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posted August 06, 2011 07:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for bethcarliseh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lonake:
^ Thanks for all of your 'shoulds' but I'm doing well. Expectations carry too much weight and only lead to disappointment. Actions are what I read others by now and it has been much more clear and smooth-sailing.

Sorry. The Mother comes out in me a lot. For the people who know me, I am good eh?

I don't mean to expect too much. You can be open to new possibilities and their potential without expectation. Yeah, expectation is probably never good.

Kudos on the smooth sailing.

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MoonWitch
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posted August 07, 2011 02:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonWitch     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sorry I went off on such a rant a few days ago. I appreciate all the input and responses.

Loanoke - my Uranus is in the third house in Libra.
Uranus opposition Sun
Uranus square Jupiter
Uranus trine Mars and Moon

It turns out one of the people I was really disappointed in came through for me the day after my original post (my mother whom I am normally very close with but can sometimes be flakey). I'm extremely relieved and a weight has been lifted.

The other is one of my best friends. I asked her to watch my small dog while I'm away on honeymoon. She said she would sleep on it and is avoiding the question now. I have since found someone else but I'm irritated. I watch her cats when she is away and her cats and my dog actually get along. I feel like ... I guess I feel like she's being really self absorbed. Another friend of mine wanted to through me a bachelorette dinner and asked best friend to contact her and she never did. She couldnt/wouldnt make it to my wedding dress appointment to help me choose a dress... I can get over that but to avoid even watching my dog while I'm getting married just sort of hurts. I've come through for her a lot... Helped her move, got her the interview where I work so she makes twice as much money as she used to, helped her diet and helped her change her lifestyle so she lost 75 pounds (very proud of her!!!!!!!!) and that's what friends do so I am just sort of hurt that she can't do one thing for me when it really really matters. I know I should say something to her and I'm sure I will at some point but she'll cry because she is overly sensitive and then I'll feel guilty.

I don't expect a lot from people but friends should come through when it matters and when it's important. I know I go out of my way to help and support my friends.

Maybe big life changes show you who yours friends really are. I've had a couple people I wouldn't have expected to really step up to the plate the past couple months.

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MoonWitch
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posted August 07, 2011 02:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonWitch     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sand:
[B]it's soo much easier to be nice and calm. probably healthier too.

I think in a lot of cases it is healthier but I think I do it to the extreme and it becomes detrimental. Most of my health issues can be traced back to stress and anxiety that I hold in. I haven't figured out a good way to release all that tension yet.

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MoonWitch
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posted August 07, 2011 03:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonWitch     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Fu Arlin screaming -

Okay, that is your name when my iPad spells checks your name, Run Around Screaming. Pretty funny!

Thanks for such a well thought out response . I am getting a little better as I get older in letting some of my light sarcasm and quips come out. I guess I am prone to some extremes and I don't know how to balance things. I was an extremely introverted and shy kid. In my late teens and 20's, I was a goth in NYC and I was more loud, brash and overly "in your face". Now I'm working on merging the two dichotomies in my head.

But, yeah, I guess I tend to put everyone else first and everyone else's feelings first and I really really need to stand up for me. I don't have a problem doing that to people I don't like but if I like or love someone it's really really difficult.

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Dreamy_AriesGirl
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posted August 07, 2011 03:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dreamy_AriesGirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"But, yeah, I guess I tend to put everyone else first and everyone else's feelings first and I really really need to stand up for me. I don't have a problem doing that to people I don't like but if I like or love someone it's really really difficult."

Wow, i have the exact same problem, lol
Do you have anything in Pisces or hard Neptune aspects?

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mir
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posted August 07, 2011 08:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mir     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
You shouldn't stop expecting stuff from people. You don't want to be emotionally cold and shut off from the potential good things that people can bring you. You just need to learn which people are good and which people are not good for you.

wise words.

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