posted August 09, 2011 08:36 PM
First guy -> BIG STORY for a small thing.I am a Cancer. He's a Scorpio. Admittedly, we both THRIVE on drama and tend to overreact a lot.
The Scorpio is my best friend's 1st cousin. They have always been very close together, almost like siblings.
For the last few months, he's been suffering from some serious stress [he's a Uni student and half a year ago he broke up with his gf] and some kind of insomnia and due to all this, his family is going through a rough patch.
OT: Even though he's slowly getting better, I have a feeling there's more to him than meets the eye, especially since his mom is a tough lady and so is her love, he might be getting back to her for being mean to him all these years or something.
Anyway, my personal life is nonexistent, partially by choice.
With this guy I initially felt like we could have a good time together.
I mean, I felt comfortable with him, he is attractive & [usually] way more mature than guys his age. We could've had a cinematic summer affair of sorts. My bff was not thrilled though.
I firmly believe that if one is to maintain an affair of this sort, certain arrangements need to made and limits must be set.
We both live in a small society where everything gets out and that one is a BIG THING for me. Due to the age difference, there would have been some issues.
Two positives in this case. I am not delusional enough, Scorps got a long way in front of him, a long-distance relationship could never be maintained at this time period. Second, I don't USUALLY buy Scorpio crap.
One night, we went out with a few other people. I could see he was trying to annoy me by making comments about some other chick. My possessiveness kicked in. Man, he effing loved it. I got super annoyed at his BS and called him out on that. Later on that night, we sat down and "opened our hearts". We had a discussion about the "future" of this romance. He was completely down with it but I already knew he had developed feelings for me [my bff's words].
There were a few issues here:
1]As mentioned above, his mind is in a very confused state atm. Scorps doesn't know what the future holds for him and he is not interested in finding out anytime soon. Other people have been doing the serious thinking for him, including my friend.
2]When trying to set said romance rules, things got confusing.
I mentioned all the **** he's done so far and how much I care for my bestie and I wouldn't want anyone to get hurt in the process. I asked him to try and keep this short-term thing as hush-hush as possible.
I asked him what did he want from me and that this wasn't supposed to last because he'd eventually go back to his studies. He said "I want you/you must relax/don't think too much/I'll be back soon". I go "Hello? someone has to do the thinking here". He responds "noone's gonna find out **** about us, It's not like I discuss my personal life with my parents anyway, this will be strictly between us".
Ding ding ding!
That was a lie. My friend had told me he tends to confess everything to her. Issue No 3 is his unreliability.
He then goes "for how long will you let my heart be in pain"? [BTW he's got heart issues, how effing convenient/lame/manipulative is that!]. So I caved in and we kissed.. That particular night ended a mess. A seeminly -at the time- positive mess, but still..
Next day I resonsidered.. My friend also called me and warned me that if we were going to go through this fling, sh** would hit the fan for the reasons mentioned below.
The age difference [as seen by other people cuz I don't really give a damn about it], the small gossipy society, the very fact that right now I can't trust the motherf**ker and the overall craziness over his "sensitive health" could've affected my job and my reputation. I am one proud Cancerian, when it comes to my work/family, nothing stands in the way.
I'd have ended up looking like an irresponsible adult or even a $lut that seduced that poor lil' boy while dear selfish Scorps would probably go on with his business.
Now, one can say, "damn girl, what did you get involved in the 1st place?" Well.. he wasn't always like that, he is usually a great guy...
*SHRUGS*
I can't take all this outta my head though.
A break cannot be caught.
On a sidenote, my gut instinct has been giving some signals lately, I think there's sth going on behing my back, either it's on his side or my friend's side. Can't put my finger on it.
Lindaland
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posted August 08, 2011 08:07 PM
posted August 09, 2011 01:31 PM
