posted August 24, 2011 08:27 AM            

I could say he always turns it into a fight, but that sounds a bit immature, saying "it's all HIS fault!". Sadly enough, that's really how it is. Even last night he instigated an argument by randomly mentioning that he "hated spending so much money on attourneys". He knows I respond to those things, and the fact that they are seemingly "random", those comments, makes me think he says them with a clear goal in sight. He has always done this. He instigates, knowing very well that my wanting to clarify things makes me respond every time. He also exhibits quite a lot of passive-agressive behaviour this way.

But... I know quite a few people who know him too, and neither of them have ever found they always seem to fall into arguments with him. I seem to be the only one with whom he incessantly finds arguments. I just don't get it anymore. I try my best to avoid them, but I can't just let myself be called every nasty name in the book by him just to avoid arguing, can I?

Now, our synastry is actually quite good, considering... Apart from his Mars opposite my Venus/Neptune, it has potential. So WHY am I incapable of making him stop instigating arguments, and why does he seem to only do that with me?

posted August 24, 2011 08:34 AM            

I sometimes suspect he has a huge amount of anger that he seems to only take out on me for some reason. Maybe an ex who remotely looks like me messed him over and he's reflecting?

posted August 24, 2011 09:47 AM            

I'd look at his Mars opposing my Venus/Neptune, but it doesn't have any other aspects to my chart in synastry. His Mercury conjunct Uranus (well, in another sign) could suggest argumentative nature, but neither planets really suggest instigation. At least it doesn't seem that way to me. I'd see Mars or Pluto more as instigators. And his Pluto is square my Jupiter which, despite being my chart's ruler, has absolutely no major aspects to my other planets and so Pluto cannot influence anything with that square other than Jupiter. Pluto also trines my Moon, but trine is not a stressful aspect. Also his Mercury is not in aspect with his Mars or Pluto.

Hence why I am a bit confused and frustrated about why he can't stop instigating arguments. I'm usually the one who responds, which of course can be signified by my Mars square his Mercury (action against what he has said, almost literally interpreted )

Well, maybe I'm focusing too hard on his Mars or Pluto in combination with his Mercury, in synastry with my chart... It is frustrating though, especially since we're supposed to get along because we have a son together, I try my best to make it happen, and then he decides to start another fight again.

Interestingly, only a few people have responded to his behaviour (which he does to to most people but those are smart enough not to react to it) and out of them, some did seem to have something conjunct his Scorpio rising...

posted August 25, 2011 04:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lonake:
Classic Mercury sq Mars.

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That's definitely what starts it. He can't seem to not offend me but even from an objective point of view what he says is often offensive. Maybe I'll find the answer to that in his natal... He does have Mars trine Mercury, but again, that's a harmonic aspect...

Oh well, I need to find better men