posted August 25, 2011 05:49 PM            

OK...this is kinda a long story, so please bare with me.

I have been living with my Cancer house mate for about 1 1/2 years and we have always got on well. However in may this year we started getting on really well, hanging out a lot watching films together and we would laugh and talk all the time and basically it really felt like he was letting me into his world. He would even not go and meet his friends and so he could stay in with me.

Then on 29th of June he invited me out for his birthday, which I thought was odd cause we never really went out together...when I said yeah I'd go he look so happy that I had agreed to come. Anyway we had a fair few drinks and were very merry by the time we got home.
We were in the kitchen and I was telling him that his friend had tried to kiss me and we were laughing about it...then he hugged, which he doesn't do very often at all, then out of no where he tells me I smell nice and he kissed me, then we had this moment when stopped and looked at each other then we kissed again. He leads me over to the sofa were we continue kissing, then suddenly he stopped and said that it was a really bad idea and I agreed (we live together and it would be so complicated) and went to bed (on my own).

Well the next day we were both feeling a bit worse for wear and chilling on the sofa and I caught him looking at me, and I mean really starring. Since then it has kinda felt like he has been avoiding me particularly when he's drunk and it feels like he's being really distant with me, we can spend an hour in the same room and not say anything. However I have caught him looking at me a few times and he always looks either hurt or cross.

The worse part is I didn't realize how much I liked him until that kiss, but I have been so badly hurt in the past and I'm very shy about letting people know how I feel about them that I may have been acting a bit coldly towards him as well and because of the way he's been acting I have done everything I can to avoid showing him that I'm interested.

I do have the feeling that he's not always the one to make the first move...I was talking to a friend of his earlier this year and he was telling about seeing him talking to this girl and commented that he has never really seen him being that forward with a girl before.

Worst still he's been rude as well like inviting my other house mate out to things right in front of me, which makes me feel like he doesn't even like me as a person anymore.

So is he just shy? is he just not interested? Is he angry that I haven't mentioned it?

Thank you

posted August 25, 2011 08:50 PM            

Try to talk things out with him.
If you have feelings for him, say so.. because he probably won't be the one to make the first move.

posted August 29, 2011 06:45 AM            

People are very complex creatures regardless of their sun signs. I am however, about to do some severe generalizing, so please just take what is useful and discard the useless bits.

As a thinking and communication focused person, you probably like situations to be fairly open and straightforward. If you enjoyed your time curled up at home watching movies with your roommate and even took notice of his choosing to stay at home with you, rather than go out with his friends, I am inclined to believe you have Cancer in your own chart. If this is the case, then you may be able to get a good understanding of what your roommate is going through.

Where Gemini is often involved with concepts, scenarios, observations, opinions, ideas, and general “activity” scrolling through their heads; Cancer is experiencing the same constant level of change and activity in their feelings. A commercial with a happy couple in a cafe comes on and a Gemini's mind bursts into a complex data stream beginning with the recollection of a delicious cup of coffee and resulting in an e-mail to their cousin regarding the $20 bucks they owe from last month's shopping trip. Cancer's data stream is feeling-based and can start with the warm memory of a previous relationship and end with sadness over their breakup. An unwitting bystander may be equally confused at how a happy couple on TV could remind a Gemini about a debt, or make a Cancer cry, but to both parties the concept is perfectly sane. Because their feelings are such a major part of who they feel they are, Cancer people can be socially cautious and surround their selves with people who they consider safe or unlikely to offend their feelings. Cancer wants to be around others who inspire enjoyable feelings (just as Gemini seeks others who are interesting and inspire an enjoyable mentality).

I agree that you have both moved to a point of no return, the deed is done. His uneasy attitude is a result of that emotional data stream, and I am assuming your mental data stream is also keeping you from making wise decisions regarding your interaction with him. There is a fortunate resolution however. You care about him and you don't seem to have a problem seeking a resolution to the problem.

If you like this guy then you shouldn't place your past relationships in front of him. He is a new person and deserves to be given that respect. Suffering is an unavoidable aspect of living which helps us define bliss. As long as you are respecting your self, there is no reason why you shouldn't pursue a good situation. If you want to diffuse a bit of the insanity, the first step is to face the situation honestly with him. Get him to commit to another movie night alone and bring it up. If you are open and honest about your feelings he will respect you and open up. Just try to refrain from being accusatory or forceful into his comfort zone. Share your reservations and your past relationship experiences, share your desire to find a pleasant feeling space with him. The more honest you are about your feelings and available for his, the more he will feel he can go back to a trusting space with you. If you think it's right, you can even eventually bring up the idea of trying serious dating. The key is just security and openness.

When it comes down to it, the home is Cancer's sanctuary, and the feeling uneasy at home is one of the worst feelings in the world. If you don't want to pursue a romantic relationship, you should still have the sit down chat. If you sit down with him and say, “Wow, we were really trashed that night, and I am glad you got the feeling to put the breaks on when you did. I would be so bummed if things became uncomfortable between us. I enjoy the time we spend together and would love to spend more time getting to know you. I've had some friends treat me like crap in the past and I really love whatever is developing between us, do you mind if we just start with enjoying each other's company? How do you feel about that? You can share anything with me, I can handle it”. He should then respond by baking you cookies (hehe).

Cancer and Gemini is a relationship which requires work, but constantly yields hidden treasure. Both signs are active and fluctuating. Learning when to ride each other's wavelengths and when to leave each other alone is the key.