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Author Topic:   Bad Synastry Aspects
Delilah
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posted September 25, 2011 12:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Delilah     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Whether you were dating someone or just friends, what is/was the worst aspect between you? Also, is there one which would make you reconsider investing your time in a relationship or one that would make you avoid contact with someone altogether?

I've noticed, for myself, that if my Venus squares someone's Uranus nothing will happen- it's pretty disappointing and I feel rejected. If either Venus or Mars square Neptune, I can't trust the person and the reason behind it usually becomes apparent before I can walk away.

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted September 25, 2011 03:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That's interesting. I will watch out for those aspects and see their effect on me. I'm not really sure what to answer for synastry but i know that in composite i've had really bad experiences with sun opposite neptune and moon in bad aspect to saturn or uranus.

Also, any time i have composite jupiter square or opposite uranus with someone, we both can't stand each other, no matter how many other good aspects we have.

I kind of hate composite venus in bad aspect to saturn,
too, because it doesnt let you get completely close to that person.

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lalalinda
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posted September 25, 2011 03:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have Saturn opposite Mars and for me
when someones Saturn conjuncts my Mars
I don't particularly get along with them
and vice-versa with their Mars conjunct my Saturn.

another one would be Venus square Saturn
this one lacks intimacy

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Delilah
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posted September 25, 2011 03:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Delilah     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, I have Venus square Uranus natally. Whenever I see this come up between me and a crush, no matter how wide the orb, I know that the initial fascination won't last long and there's not a chance that we'll get to know each other better no matter how hard I try. Just have to give up.

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anongrl10
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posted September 25, 2011 04:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for anongrl10     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
When their Neptune conjuncts one of my personal planets, I have someone who adores and idealizes me (puts me on a pedestal) for a few months, then, boom, they forget you are a human, and it never lasts. :-/

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BelligerentPygmy
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posted September 25, 2011 08:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for BelligerentPygmy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I avoid Saturn stuff in composites.

To me synastry is the biggie more than anything though (although to be totally honest, most of the time I still have my doubts about the validity/accuracy of both synastry and composites. I look to see if any of their planets fall in my eighth house and vice-versa as well as if there's any node contact and vertex contact. If I don't see any of those three, I don't really want to bother because to me then it's just casual dating and that's not my style. I only want to be with someone that really matters to me that I'm really crazy about, that's really crazy about me.

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Delilah
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posted September 25, 2011 09:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Delilah     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm starting to despise Saturn in synastry and transits. I used to think of the Saturn person as someone I could learn from, but quickly came to realize how cold that person could be. Someone who I thought was quite special had his Saturn in close orb to my Vertex. To say that my confidence was shattered and felt that my sense of self-worth and identity were kicked around is an understatement. I cannot wait for this person to leave my life completely.

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Betty Boop
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posted September 25, 2011 04:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
1. Mars on my Venus/NN and opposite Pluto
I've known three guys with this Mars and I can't stand either of them. On first impressions it's all great - maybe even a few months... then the claws come out.

2. Mercury opposite my Jupiter (and square my Saturn)
They annoy me too much. I find them unnerving and closed minded.

Other than the 'bad' aspects... I'd also be more wary about dating a person if we don't have close Sun/Moon/AC/Saturn trines, conjunctions and/or sextiles.. in synastry.
It's important to me to be genuinely liked for the person I am and appreciated.
I think these feelings are there when you have those aspects.
And - a Mercury2Mercury aspect would be good also!

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BelligerentPygmy
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posted September 25, 2011 04:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BelligerentPygmy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Delilah:
I'm starting to despise Saturn in synastry and transits. I used to think of the Saturn person as someone I could learn from, but quickly came to realize how cold that person could be. Someone who I thought was quite special had his Saturn in close orb to my Vertex. To say that my confidence was shattered and felt that my sense of self-worth and identity were kicked around is an understatement. I cannot wait for this person to leave my life completely.

I related to this so much, it was enough to make me go back and check the synastry with an ex of mine, all over again. I thought I'd done a thorough job the first time, but noooo...

Turns out his Saturn opposes my Venus and my Vertex. How I didn't notice that before, I have no idea. He was exactly as you describe, towards me. Nothing I did was ever good enough, nothing about me was ever okay for him...just constant nagging and verbal abuse. At one point it got so bad I actually just ditched him, because I felt, "What am I around for, this guy isn't into me and thinks I'm 5h1t, anyway."

I always assumed it was Saturn in the composite that was the cause of that, though (along with his Capricorn ascendant). But in retrospect those were probably more responsible for his feelings of obligation and duty towards me. There were times he made it very clear that he was only still around me because he felt he HAD to be.

Honestly, I really can't say enough bad things about Saturn aspects, in composites or synastry. I'll never get involved with anyone that I have Saturn aspects with, ever again.

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Delilah
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posted September 25, 2011 05:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Delilah     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Betty, I thought there was supposed to be something sexy about Venus/Mars to Pluto aspects. I suppose the attraction is only temporary and becomes a nuisance? I understand Mercury in harsh aspect to Jupiter. I think I have a double whammy with the guy I mentioned before (Saturn/Vertex). He doesn't think that I speak in depth about things and I think he's superficial, even sheltered when it comes to different cultures. *Sighs* I remember he asked me something about racism that made feel like a thing rather than a person. He also felt it necessary to tell me what should be important to me because what he thinks is my race. I've been called plenty of names, but this was the first time I wanted to hit someone for their ignorance.

BelligerentPygmy (love your name, by the way), he sucks the life out of me. I can't stand being in his presence. There is a sense of responsibility between us. What the Saturn person never seems to realize is that we were just fine before them. Don't know why they feel we can't make it without them, especially when it's hard to get along with them around. I wouldn't mind Saturn in synastry or composite as long as the aspect is soft. I actually avoid relationships where I'm the Saturn person. Despite being a Cap Rising, I don't want to be the wet blanket or disciplinarian.

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BelligerentPygmy
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posted September 25, 2011 05:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BelligerentPygmy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Delilah:
Betty, I thought there was supposed to be something sexy about Venus/Mars to Pluto aspects. I suppose the attraction is only temporary and becomes a nuisance? I understand Mercury in harsh aspect to Jupiter. I think I have a double whammy with the guy I mentioned before (Saturn/Vertex). He doesn't think that I speak in depth about things and I think he's superficial, even sheltered when it comes to different cultures. *Sighs* I remember he asked me something about racism that made feel like a thing rather than a person. He also felt it necessary to tell me what should be important to me because what he thinks is my race. I've been called plenty of names, but this was the first time I wanted to hit someone for their ignorance.

BelligerentPygmy (love your name, by the way), he sucks the life out of me. I can't stand being in his presence. There is a sense of responsibility between us. What the Saturn person never seems to realize is that we were just fine before them. Don't know why they feel we can't make it without them, especially when it's hard to get along with them around. I wouldn't mind Saturn in synastry or composite as long as the aspect is soft. I actually avoid relationships where I'm the Saturn person. Despite being a Cap Rising, I don't want to be the wet blanket or disciplinarian.


The more you talk about this, the more you freak me out because it's so similar to what I experienced. They just immediately assume that you can't breathe without them and then anchor themselves to your side, complaining and insulting you the whole time, making it clear that they feel trapped.

I don't blame you for wanting to get away from that guy; me and my ex don't cross paths very often but when we do it's not long before the same dynamic comes back into play again and I'm wishing that he'd just go away.

I definitely wouldn't pursue a relationship with someone where I'd be the Saturn person, either. I'm not really interested in inflicting that on someone else, especially having been there and knowing what it feels like.

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Delilah
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posted September 25, 2011 06:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Delilah     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's odd. When I pushed away from him he looked confused. I refused to be alone with him and if we do see each other we don't say more than hi because I won't give him the chance to say more. The things he said to me in the past hurt and upset me for days. After that, whenever I saw him my blood went cold. Even now I hesitate to check my email. Can't block him for another month and I'm officially done with him.

With Saturn there's so much self-importance. Like he thinks that if he walks away your whole world will become chaotic. Uhm, no. I liked the messiness before (it wasn't quite messy, but it sure as hell was a lot more fun). You relate the Saturn person to an anchor, I say they're a parasite. Seeing and hearing from him is like getting bad news from the doctor.

Whenever I see my Saturn as the pain in the ___ in any kind of relationship I either walk away or keep my distance. Just can't put someone else through this. I guess that's my lesson from Saturn- to stay away.

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Betty Boop
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posted September 25, 2011 06:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Betty, I thought there was supposed to be something sexy about Venus/Mars to Pluto aspects.

It can be sexy in the beginning stages.. but from my perspective as the Venus person... Mars is not just sexually attracted. There are other sides to Mars. They can also be angry/nasty, aggressive/hurtful - very hurtful (intentionally!)... It was not a pleasant aggression that I found attractive.. It was just painful for me.

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Betty Boop
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posted September 25, 2011 06:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
About Saturn - I think it depends on the natal aspects you have as well.
I have Saturn trine Sun and I fell in love with a man who also has Saturn trine Sun in natal.
In synastry we have a grand trine with both of our Suns and Saturns. He has always been supportive but not smothering.

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Delilah
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posted September 25, 2011 09:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Delilah     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My natal Saturn doesn't make any major aspects to my other planets, but does square my Vertex. Just noticed it.

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Still_Hopeful
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posted September 25, 2011 09:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Still_Hopeful     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Anongrl:
I totally agree
all of my rel did not last when my neptune conj their personal planet (Sun, Venus)

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SoStellarOne
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posted January 08, 2015 10:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SoStellarOne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow Delilah!,
You were on point in your description of hard Saturn aspects to personal planets. It is ABSOLUTELY horrible, I agree. I've experienced it and man, those are the people I avoid like the plague.

SoStellarOne

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DaniPepper87
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posted January 08, 2015 10:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DaniPepper87     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The worst: Saturn square Mercury, in both charts... one trying to dominate another....

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bansheequeen
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posted January 08, 2015 11:02 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
just trying to delete my posts because mods dont wanna get off their arses and delete accounts

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LaceyLeigh
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posted June 18, 2016 01:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LaceyLeigh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hard Saturn to Mars, hard Mercury/Mars aspects, hard Moon/Mercury aspects, Mercury/Mercury hard aspects.

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Randall
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posted June 18, 2016 10:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Moving to Interpersonal Astrology.

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