posted October 18, 2011 01:37 AM
If anyone is going to post "Paranoid scorpio it's all your head your so narcissistic"
READ FIRST: Scroll down if you want to skip my story (as stories get annoying to some people who are not in the mood for them) and tell yours or discuss hard Pluto aspects.I don't want it to be this way. I don't want people being jealous of me. When I get dirty looks from other people I make myself belive it's all in my head and i'm just being nuts.
I like to think thats the way it is!
I think i'm getting a taste of my own medicine.Three years ago I came honest with myself about jealousy. People would tell me over that i'm not suffering, it's not others peoples fault and i need to get the green monster off my back. I used to get so jealous my head would pound, I punch holes in walls, ,destroyed property, verbally abused people, took up glue sniffing and socially isolated myself. The list goes on.....
When I see someone give me a dirty look it takes me back to how I used to be. How much it used frustrate me. How it hurt when I became aware of how much I was my own worst enemy. How painful it was. The time and energy I wasted.
My jealous towards other people has eased out. I have it well under control. When I see someone who was somthing that that I want I feel happy for them. When I see jealous glances at me from other people. I pray for them and hope they will get what they want.
I have changed a whole lot when I started to
come forth with my own steaming pile of crap.
I transformed into a better person. So much has happened since the summer of August 2009 when I slowly began to "Change" and the change is still happening. A lot of the change was NOT fun.
I lost thirty pounds and have a muscular body. have been working out, working on job sites and saving money. Than investing it in nice things.
I've been told I look confident and that "my spirit has risen"
change comes with downsides. I had some loses.Quite a few I feel like a different person and find it hard adjust to.
One loss was my best friend I was being dropped off in town for lunch this summer. I saw my best friend who I haven't seen for over two months. It was a weird moment. I was on the main road, the car was gong fast and the side walk was on the other side of the road. I looked up after rummaging through my bag and there he was. He looked at me with hatred. His body uncontrollably. shook. It looked familiar.
People in town were asking me about his where about. He was ignoring my messages. (My best friend is a Libra. The relationship was always turbulent but he stuck around until I changed. AKA went above his level and got my $#it together.
Since I started working towards goals he drfted firther and further. I would invite him over. I'd be friendly. He ignored.
Later on I sent him hate messages I now regret. I got so frustrated.
I have Saturn and Uranus in the first house
semi-squaring Pluto in the tenth house. Pluto has an opposition with the moon in my fourth house.
Anyone else have had to deal with such tight squares and oppositions reading Pluto?. I read some stories online about those tight Pluto aspects I relate to them.