posted October 31, 2011 11:14 PM            

Ive secretly been keeping mental notes about my boyfriend. I've noticed he can be quite manipulative emotionally... for example he resorts to sulking. A lot. Whenever he doesn't get something he wants...

He can be subtly demanding... the other night he didn't ask me by the way, he just said "Can you buy me some food?" I didn't say anything nor did I agree to so when I went to his place he got upset was quiet and started sulking. I asked if he was okay and he said "yeah" obviously he wasn't. That's when he said, "I don't think you care about me." I said "What? Yes I do." He said "Are you sure? You didn't get me food to eat. I'm starving babe. I haven't eaten a lot in days." And he went on about how I'm being a bad girlfriend because I'm neglecting him!! Wtf! I knew he was emotionally toying with me, he can also be demanding which I find weird. And he does the sulkin thing where he starts whining a little bit and says I don't love/care about him when he places demands on me without my approval he just expects me do things he asks sometimes little things not big things. He also does things for me I dont ask for sometimes. I read that cancer placements sometimes do things for loved ones, and than expect them to return the favor??

I called him today, and asked if he ate and he said no. I don't know his financial situation, but now I feel bad. I'm very stingy with my money and sometimes I truly don't feel like spending a cent on anyone but myself... but I feel bad so I promised the next time I see him I would buy him food.

But generally do cancer placements act like this???? They act clingy and can use emotional manipulation (sulking, saying you don't care/love me just to gain reassurance) I find that I have to reassure him a lot kind of like a mother would to their child.... He acts very stoic and mature and independent but once he's with me he brings out this side I never expected- childlike, innocent, vulnerable, etc.

Here's his chart
Sun 18°24' Gemini
Moon 9°49' Cancer
Mercury 7°10' Cancer
Venus 22°38' Cancer
Mars 23°07' Я Capricorn
Jupiter 21°08' Pisces
Saturn 5°30' Я Sagittarius
Uranus 20°28' Я Sagittarius
Neptune 4°53' Я Capricorn
Pluto 4°53' Я Scorpio
Chiron 16°00' Gemini
Ceres 11°57' Virgo
Pallas 9°26' Leo
Juno 8°01' Я Sagittarius
Vesta 6°19' Aries
Node 28°49' Я Aries
Lilith 18°11' Gemini
Fortune 29°22' Sagittarius
AS 20°46' Capricorn
MC 17°00' Scorpio
°'
Idk if you want to see house placements

posted October 31, 2011 11:45 PM            

My husband has a cancer moon/asc and he's not whiny/clingy at all.
He can be manipulative, but not like this.

Maybe your guy is just a tad immature?
Is he very young??

posted October 31, 2011 11:55 PM            

I have a double Cancer best friend (Sun/Moon) and that sounds like him. He wouldn't accuse me of not caring about him necessarily but I would get a quiet, brooding friend. My other Cancer friend will stop talking to me if I say something that offends her or makes her think we're heading for a confrontation of some sorts. I mean she will seriously float away for days and then peek out when it seems alright. Of course neither of them will admit this, but I'm onto their little tyke-ish games! I love Cancerians, they bring out the mother in me, lol. Brings me to my main point is that what they want you to do (esp. moon and/or venus Cancers. They have a very soft sign in a feminine planet so I think it means it's expressed more strongly). They need lots of affection and reassurance and cooing. Seriously, comforts you or I (Aries/Taurus/Gemini at your service) take for granted like food, clothes, shelter... stuff that doesn't matter 'cause we see it as something we have to do ourselves anyway... they DIG the s*it! out of stuff like that.

posted November 01, 2011 12:06 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannarama:
Girrrlll.... oof. Please and goodbye.

I have a double Cancer best friend (Sun/Moon) and that sounds like him. He wouldn't accuse me of not caring about him necessarily but I would get a quiet, brooding friend. My other Cancer friend will stop talking to me if I say something that offends her or makes her think we're heading for a confrontation of some sorts. I mean she will seriously float away for days and then peek out when it seems alright. Of course neither of them will admit this, but I'm onto their little tyke-ish games! I love Cancerians, they bring out the mother in me, lol. Brings me to my main point is that what they want you to do (esp. moon and/or venus Cancers. They have a very soft sign in a feminine planet so I think it means it's expressed more strongly). They need lots of affection and reassurance and cooing. Seriously, comforts you or I (Aries/Taurus/Gemini at your service) take for granted like food, clothes, shelter... stuff that doesn't matter 'cause we see it as something we have to do ourselves anyway... they DIG the s*it! out of stuff like that.

Mothering: Your ticket to getting a Cancer to propose.

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He even wants me to buy him underwear! lol!!!!!!!!!!!
It's like I'm his mom it's so weird... but I'm getting used to it. It's a little mutual... he treats me like my father sometimes and I act like his mother where I take care of him sometimes... It's just weird LOL sorry.

posted November 01, 2011 12:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Xiiro:
Sounds like cancer to me... My mom, high school best friend, and several family members have heavy Cancer influences.

If you like it, more power to you. My fire and earth don't suffer much of that easily. The surest way of ******* him off will be to point out every time he is being manipulative and tell him if he wants something he needs to use his words. =)

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How do you personally deal with it?

posted November 01, 2011 12:16 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:

I like acting like the mother (as in I'm the boss and call the shots hahaa) but his sulking really annoys me/amuses me. I can't help but laugh when he sulks, I ask "What is your problem? What are you sulking for?" What is a 25 year old sulking for??! You know? It's so child like, when I seen this side of him it shocked me!! Cause he was so put together and so tough etc

Are you still friends with them?

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See, I'm the same way. I think that's why I really get along with Cancers. LMAO "What is a 25 year old sulking for?" I know. I know. I KNOW. Whenever my double Cancer best friend pulled that, I'd just ignore him to show him it didn't work and he'd come scuttling back like "Are you still mad?" Pffft NO, FOOL, never was! They're extremely loyal friends though even if you don't see them every day or even every month they'll still have your back like your thick as thieves. And oh yes, I am.

posted November 01, 2011 12:24 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannarama:
See, I'm the same way. I think that's why I really get along with Cancers. LMAO "What is a 25 year old sulking for?" I know. I know. I KNOW. Whenever my double Cancer best friend pulled that, I'd just ignore him to show him it didn't work and he'd come scuttling back like "Are you still mad?" Pffft NO, FOOL, never was! They're extremely loyal friends though even if you don't see them every day or even every month they'll still have your back like your thick as thieves. And oh yes, I am.

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I wouldn't know, it's rare I many people with cancer placements by only best friend or friend that matter was a cancer sun we were best friends for 7 years so I agree with you on the loyalty thing.... lOL the woman I noticed can be brutally cold though... like very cold and manipulative on the brink of evilness... sometimes, have you ever seen that? But if they care they reaaaally care and can't stand anyone to take you from them....

posted November 01, 2011 12:26 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
I wouldn't know, it's rare I many people with cancer placements by only best friend or friend that matter was a cancer sun we were best friends for 7 years so I agree with you on the loyalty thing.... lOL the woman I noticed can be brutally cold though... like very cold and manipulative on the brink of evilness... sometimes, have you ever seen that? But if they care they reaaaally care and can't stand anyone to take you from them....

Yup, trust me girl the first time I witnessed him sulking it was a full blown tantrum. And do you know why he was sulking? Guess!!!!!!!!!!!!

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posted November 01, 2011 12:38 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannarama:
Lmao maybe it was the tone of your voice? What?

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who the f sulks and whines over that?
I said "no not now" and he gets up and starts stalking around the place, sulking, whining and having a childlike emotional outburst. this is rude but I couldn't help but laugh, really loud, and hard which upset him even more.

posted November 01, 2011 12:41 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by hannarama:
[b] Lmao maybe it was the tone of your voice? What?

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who the f sulks and whines over that?
I said "no not now" and he gets up and starts stalking around the place, sulking, whining and having a childlike emotional outburst. this is rude but I couldn't help but laugh, really loud, and hard which upset him even more.

again what 25 year old sulks and has a tantrum about that? "you don't care about me! you don't want me!" LOL.... *eyeroll* You know??? I just sat there and waited for him to finish[/B][/QUOTE]

That has to be a Cancer moon thing. My Scorp BFF's man has a Cancer moon and does the same thing. It's like "What? You don't want to hold me and cry together? FINE! This pillow is MUCH softer than your embrace anyway!"

posted November 01, 2011 12:43 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tuxedoMask:
^ i would've dumped u.... The laughing is just disrespectful and a trust breaker if u ask me... If ur not willing to spend money on him, think that it says lots about where u stand in that relationship

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posted November 01, 2011 12:52 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tuxedoMask:
^ i would've dumped u.... The laughing is just disrespectful and a trust breaker if u ask me... If ur not willing to spend money on him, think that it says lots about where u stand in that relationship

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Lol he told me to buy him underwear
he didn't ask, that's one thing. that's what I notice they pose or HE poses commands in question format,, and than comes sulk time when I don't do it because a) I'm still thinking about it or b) I say no and the sulking still ensues...

at that time I already bought expensive things.. he knows I have a trust fund coming in. I never told him how much but it'll be available in a couple of years... I told him I would buy him underwear regardless, he can't demand me to go out to get it for him , I have other things to do/get. also I never ask him to buy me things.. with that logic should I dump him too???!!!

Well I laughed because I was genuinely appalled to see a 25 year old reverting back to the emotional age of a 5 year old. His sulking was highly amusing. I have honestly never had anyone do this and to see it just made me laugh (also my defense mechanism) I wasn't trying to be rude either but who the f sulks over that?!?!? he just went on his computer and ignored me. but oh oh, he was attentive right when I started to treat him like a mother had him in my lap rubbing his back. do you think I should dump him because of that too? I just never expected a 25 y/o to act like a big baby.

posted November 01, 2011 12:53 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GypseeWind:
Hmm, I guess it's all in perception

That last bit sounds like every Leo man I've ever known.
Ugh, my daughter's leo man wants her to go to bed when he goes to bed,
eat what he eats,
and he follows her around.
YIKES.

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is he controlling?

posted November 01, 2011 01:01 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GypseeWind:
Hmm, I guess it's all in perception

That last bit sounds like every Leo man I've ever known.
Ugh, my daughter's leo man wants her to go to bed when he goes to bed,
eat what he eats,
and he follows her around.
YIKES.

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Leos have always come off Cancerian to me and Cancerian like Leos. I can't get along with Leos 'cause they're so touchy and it's eggshell city with them. My last boyfriend had Cap rising and was a Leo and a moon in Sagittarius. Uhm... we didn't last. It's ironic 'cause he always made empty threats to leave and I was the one who finally packed my bags and peaced out for good. He was the same way as your daughter's man though. Constantly kept in touch with me and even after all day texting that we'd just taken a crap (not literally...) he'd want to talk on the phone for hours. I mean, DAMN. I have Gem rising and all but even I was like LEAVE ME ALONE.

posted November 01, 2011 01:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tuxedoMask:
^ i would've dumped u.... The laughing is just disrespectful and a trust breaker if u ask me... If ur not willing to spend money on him, think that it says lots about where u stand in that relationship

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So true...
It honestly does sound like you don't even care about him...

posted November 01, 2011 01:13 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannarama:
Leos have always come off Cancerian to me and Cancerian like Leos. I can't get along with Leos 'cause they're so touchy and it's eggshell city with them. My last boyfriend had Cap rising and was a Leo and a moon in Sagittarius. Uhm... we didn't last. It's ironic 'cause he always made empty threats to leave and I was the one who finally packed my bags and peaced out for good. He was the same way as your daughter's man though. Constantly kept in touch with me and even after all day texting that we'd just taken a crap (not literally...) he'd want to talk on the phone for hours. I mean, DAMN. I have Gem rising and all but even I was like LEAVE ME ALONE.

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"eggshell city" hahahahaha!! That's a good one, adding that to my vocabulary.

I read that Leo men specifically like to feel like the kings? Like we are there to serve them and do what they want? I can how that would work though...

posted November 01, 2011 01:22 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
"eggshell city" hahahahaha!! That's a good one, adding that to my vocabulary.

I read that Leo men specifically like to feel like the kings? Like we are there to serve them and do what they want? I can how that would work though...

and those empty threats? Leo thing for sure my girl friend has dated 3 Leos all of them would constantly make empty threats.. all talk...

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They lie all the time too! I'm telling you, astrology cook books are messed up 'cause all the ugly Cancer traits got passed onto Leo. Seriously, I'd ask him "Oh what'd you have for lunch today?" He'd say chicken fingers, and for the sake of example later he'd tell me he had a burger or something. I'm like "Gee, you comin' down with Alzheimer's that fast, huh?" It was insanity. It seriously bewilders me why they manipulate about things like that. I can't think of a reason behind it. Like it's their own sick little game? What?

And I didn't know that was a Leo thing. I wonder how he felt like after I hit the road. Part of me thinks he was a dick all that time (a year) waiting for me to leave him and another part of me thinks he didn't believe I was serious. He texted me "Should I delete your number" Like .... do what you want, I said I was done, yo! Obviously you don't want to.

posted November 01, 2011 02:26 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Xiiro:
[b]Sounds like cancer to me... My mom, high school best friend, and several family members have heavy Cancer influences.

If you like it, more power to you. My fire and earth don't suffer much of that easily. The surest way of ******* him off will be to point out every time he is being manipulative and tell him if he wants something he needs to use his words. =)
I like acting like the mother (as in I'm the boss and call the shots hahaa) but his sulking really annoys me/amuses me. I can't help but laugh when he sulks, I ask "What is your problem? What are you sulking for?" What is a 25 year old sulking for??! You know? It's so child like, when I seen this side of him it shocked me!! Cause he was so put together and so tough etc

How do you personally deal with it?

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It's tough, often diplomacy and feeling sharing works. Sometimes it ****** me off enough where I have to walk away for an extended period of time. Cancers can not often be swayed from their focus. If they convince their self that you not buying them food means you don't care about them, then to them it totally makes sense (even though you then endure 5 hours of them acting like a total tool, when any sane person would have told them to learn some social skills and kicked them out of the house). "I got her sunflowers for her birthday, because she said it was her favorite flower. All I ask her to do is pick me up some food... I'm starving and she is making me starve to prove some sort of point... If she really cared she would ask if I was hungry on her way over, or GOD, even surprise me with food, is that so hard? Why should I even have to tell her I'm hungry?"

The problem really is Gemini and Cancer together. This combo is easily capable of turning relationships into a "mommy loves me because she takes care of her little boy" game. Cancer can feel their demands are justified, because they are capable of knowing your needs (regardless of how often they actually respond to them). Some can feel as though just being capable of understanding your emotional state, is all the work they need to bring to a relationship. Gemini can enjoy placing people in uncomfortable situations just to see how they will react. Cancer in a difficult place within a Gemini's chart can communicate through passive aggression. The mind may also know how to use emotions as a communication tool, without requiring the native to actually feel them. I don't get that vibe from the guy you are describing, but I do get the "why isn't mommy taking care of me?" thing.

Sounds like he is used to being able to manipulate his mother using the same tactics, or suffered an uncaring mother and projects his issues on his girlfriends. My suggestion is to appeal to his rationality while addressing his feelings. "Okay, I can see now where I should have paid better attention, next time I will try my hardest to _______. In addition, I feel it unfair to try to make me feel guilty by telling me I don't care about you. If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't be here trying to better understand you. In the future, if I do something to intentionally hurt your feelings, I can understand retaliation, but I would appreciate if you will try to communicate with me instead of hurting my feelings because your feelings have been hurt too."

Most of that will go in one ear and out the other, but your actual attempts at being more careful and repetition of your request for him to stop trying to hurt your feelings when you are not intentionally trying to hurt his, should show eventual results.

posted November 01, 2011 02:35 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:

So true...
It honestly does sound like you don't even care about him...

If someone thinks a person is immature then they don't respect them at all...

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I wouldn't be with someone I didn't care about. So I obviously do care for/about him. We just handle emotions very differently and I am not used to his explosions of it. I laugh as a defense mechanism.

How can you relate thinking someone is acting immature with not respecting them? That makes 0 sense to me. So if I think someone I highly respect was acting immature one night and decided to get drunk and embarsss everyone does this automatically deduce that I don't respect them at all?