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Author
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Topic: Stalking post break-up
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polysigh
Knowflake Posts: 76
From: Chicago, USA
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 01, 2011 04:42 PM
  
What would make someone ignore attempts at communication from someone but then stalk that same someone like looking at that person's social network profiles constantly? In real life they act like they want nothing to do with you so why do they check up on you all the time? Any astrological indicators for this type of behavior?
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Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 1740
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 01, 2011 04:49 PM
Pisces Sun... w. Scorpio placements or Pluto aspects. When me & Pisces guy broke up... whenever he bumped into my friends, he asked several questions about me and my life... and he conspicuously told one of my friends that he "always" sees me.. at a particular place... Although that's not a place he is normally at - at all.. and I have never seen him, myself.
I was picturing him hiding somewhere with binoculars. It kind of creeped me out. :edit: He has a Pisces Moon - Aries Merc&Venus -- Mars (Taur) opp Pluto (Sco), t.square Uranus (Aqua). PS. I wish my friend had said to him “Well if you always see her —why don’t you ask her personally – these questions about her life?” IP: Logged |
malicefey
Knowflake Posts: 32
From: NY
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 01, 2011 04:49 PM
Hahahaha, sounds like a scorpio xDIP: Logged |
maira
Knowflake Posts: 701
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted November 01, 2011 05:15 PM
quote:
Originally posted by malicefey:
Hahahaha, sounds like a scorpio xD
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polysigh
Knowflake Posts: 76
From: Chicago, USA
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 01, 2011 05:19 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Betty Boop:
Pisces Sun... w. Scorpio placements or Pluto aspects. When me & Pisces guy broke up... whenever he bumped into my friends, he asked several questions about me and my life... and he conspicuously told one of my friends that he "always" sees me.. at a particular place... Although that's not a place he is normally at - at all.. and I have never seen him, myself.
I was picturing him hiding somewhere with binoculars. It kind of creeped me out. :edit: He has a Pisces Moon - Aries Merc&Venus -- Mars (Taur) opp Pluto (Sco), t.square Uranus (Aqua). PS. I wish my friend had said to him “Well if you always see her —why don’t you ask her personally – these questions about her life?”
I figured Scorpio placements, maybe scorp moon would do this? Or other water signs? How about particular aspects like venus quincunx pluto? I am interested to understand why someone with prominent pluto/scorpio would not want to engage in real life. What's the point of stalking if they shut the other out? Does it maybe feel safer that way so they don't have to deal with the possibility of getting hurt? Or, waiting and watching until they are ready to engage again? Ah...confused!
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Nicole401
Knowflake Posts: 243
From: CA, USA
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted November 01, 2011 06:13 PM
I do that at times hehe (not constantly, but you know every once in a while), probably because of my Venus-Pluto opposition.* I have no planets in Scorpio. My retrograde Pluto not only obsesses over people, but also likes to pretend it doesn't care. IP: Logged |
hannarama
Knowflake Posts: 147
From: united states
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 01, 2011 06:29 PM
quote:
Originally posted by polysigh:
What would make someone ignore attempts at communication from someone but then stalk that same someone like looking at that person's social network profiles constantly? In real life they act like they want nothing to do with you so why do they check up on you all the time? Any astrological indicators for this type of behavior?
The generic answer would be Scorpio but I think Mars in 12th would lead to stalking behavior, actually. I turned a little red when I read this. :P I have Mars in the 12th and a lot of planets in the 11th. I have a theory it may have to do with Uranus also laying in my 7th house. Something that disrupts the normal way people connect/care about each other within me so that I may only do so through a distance and privately (at least I view it as private, others may call it 'secret') I also have Moon opposition Pluto but I'm still trying to figure that out. In fact, now that I just remembered, I may (re: will) just start a thread on it.
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polysigh
Knowflake Posts: 76
From: Chicago, USA
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 01, 2011 06:42 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Nicole401:
I do that at times hehe (not constantly, but you know every once in a while), probably because of my Venus-Pluto opposition.* I have no planets in Scorpio. My retrograde Pluto not only obsesses over people, but also likes to pretend it doesn't care.
One person in particular I know who has this tendency also has retrograde pluto and he totally acts like he does not care. How interesting. I didn't know that about R Pluto. Does having retrograde pluto quincunx venus in one's natal contribute to the stalking thing? Would that make him obsessive in love? IP: Logged |
Nicole401
Knowflake Posts: 243
From: CA, USA
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted November 01, 2011 07:18 PM
Well the quincunx might be different from the opposition. The opposition is more of a 'swing' kind of thing. Openly acting as Venus, but jealous and obsessive, as Pluto is, in relationships. Swinging back and forth from acting Venusian to Plutonian. In my case, this is more prominent since Venus is conjunct the ASC, and Pluto the DESC. Therefore being obsessive (jealous, etc.) in relationships, by nature. A thread on Venus quincunx Pluto; http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/005999.html IP: Logged |
polysigh
Knowflake Posts: 76
From: Chicago, USA
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 01, 2011 07:34 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Nicole401:
Well the quincunx might be different from the opposition. The opposition is more of a 'swing' kind of thing. Openly acting as Venus, but jealous and obsessive, as Pluto is, in relationships. Swinging back and forth from acting Venusian to Plutonian. In my case, this is more prominent since Venus is conjunct the ASC, and Pluto the DESC. Therefore being obsessive (jealous, etc.) in relationships, by nature. A thread on Venus quincunx Pluto; http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/005999.html
Thanks Nicole...can you tell me more about your R Pluto and why you act like you don't care? Do you act the opposite of how you really feel? What compels you to act this way?? IP: Logged |
BeeCalliope
Knowflake Posts: 28
From:
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 01, 2011 07:42 PM
I did it and I did it in a big way. It's the times though, I'd never done it before. I was in anguish. Usually when "it" is over, I'm over "it", but the last person was special. A lot of shock was involved for me, a lot of terrible lies and betrayals. Couldn't believe what I saw but it was all public and it was only on the internet. I had no desire to make contact and I was hoping I was wrong but it turned out I really couldn't fathom how damaged this person was. This person could NOT communicate normally. It was tragic and I was nuts.
This is not something I'd do in the meat world.Pisces sun, sun in the 8th and chart ruler, and my only water planet. Not much pluto, trine to moon and opp. to merc but very wide orb. IP: Logged |
Nicole401
Knowflake Posts: 243
From: CA, USA
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted November 01, 2011 08:08 PM
quote:
Originally posted by polysigh:Why you act like you don't care?
It's a way of getting what I want (or getting my way). Kind of like playing hard to get. It's also easier to get information out of people by pretending you don't care. AND most importantly, it's easier (imo) to get who you want by pretending you don't care.. about them. Especially if it's a person everyone (of the opposite sex) wants. quote:
Do you act the opposite of how you really feel? What compels you to act this way??
Yes, I do tend to act the opposite of how I really feel, but I can't pretend I don't care for too long. Pretending not to care kind of makes me feel.. powerful? Because caring equals emotion and emotion equals weakness. For example, if I show how much I care about a certain guy, a girl (that doesn't like me) might try to use him to hurt me (and make me jealous). IP: Logged |
mercuranian
Knowflake Posts: 246
From: the 12th house
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 01, 2011 08:22 PM
I've done / do this. Moon in the 8th house, venus square pluto, venus in gemini. I just do it out of nosiness (gemini venus manifestation combined with pluto?).
By the way, I've broken up with these people and would never want to go back with them. IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 1740
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 01, 2011 10:27 PM
Nicole do you have a Cancer/Taurus Mars -- or Cancer Moon --- or Venus square Mars? or a Libra Sun? I am curious because of what you said about displaying emotion being 'weak'. I also have the Venus/Pluto opp (but it is conjunct my Nodal axis.. not the AC/DC axis).
I feel the exact opposite: quote:
Pretending not to care kind of makes me feel.. powerful? Because caring equals emotion and emotion equals weakness.
IMO... Caring equals strength. People who cannot care or show it- are 'afraid' of pain & rejection, which means they don't have a strong ego.. I try not to be afraid (but it's not always easy). I guess I see "fear" as the biggest weakness in all areas of life - but I do have an Aries Sun lol (that could be why!) IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 3358
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted November 01, 2011 10:29 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Betty Boop:
Nicole do you have a Cancer/Taurus Mars -- or Cancer Moon --- or Venus square Mars? or a Libra Sun? I am curious because of what you said about displaying emotion being 'weak'. I also have the Venus/Pluto opp (but it is conjunct my Nodal axis.. not the AC/DC axis).
I feel the exact opposite: IMO... Caring equals strength. People who cannot care or show it are 'afraid'.. I try not to be afraid (but it's not always easy).
I guess I see "fear" as the biggest weakness in all areas of life - but I do have an Aries Sun lol (that could be why!)
I feel the same, Im not an emotional expressive person... I dont have any of the above.. I do have Venus in cancer though..
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Nicole401
Knowflake Posts: 243
From: CA, USA
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted November 01, 2011 10:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Betty Boop:
Nicole do you have a Cancer/Taurus Mars -- or Cancer Moon --- or Venus square Mars? or a Libra Sun?
Nooo, I have an Aries sun (like you), Aries Mars, and Gemini Venus. And no, I'm not afraid of showing affection, and even if I was, my Sun in Aries would deny it ;D I think the lack of affection I show could be because Saturn is sextile my ASC. Venus and mars have no aspect. IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 140
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 02, 2011 12:09 AM
You should bless the stars and the moon that he has left it at stalking you using social networking sites... real life situations are worse... Btw how do you know he is stalking you through these sites? Unless you are stalking him too?? IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 140
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 02, 2011 12:13 AM
Or are you using the wrong word? Instead of checking up on you you use the word stalking?Stalking refers to unwanted attention/harassment
is he harassing you? Are you uncomfortable with it at all? If not I'm sure there are ways to cease contact...
I think I could be wrong here but I think you might be misusing the stalking here. Checking up on someone doesn't make someone a stalker, UNLESS you have told this person to leave you alone and they continue to give you attention - which now becomes unwanted attention. But to your question, I do think Aquarius and Scorpio are prone to it. IP: Logged |
BelligerentPygmy
Knowflake Posts: 475
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 02, 2011 05:09 AM
quote:
Originally posted by lindisfarne:
Or are you using the wrong word? Instead of checking up on you you use the word stalking?Stalking refers to unwanted attention/harassment
is he harassing you? Are you uncomfortable with it at all? If not I'm sure there are ways to cease contact...
I think I could be wrong here but I think you might be misusing the stalking here. Checking up on someone doesn't make someone a stalker, UNLESS you have told this person to leave you alone and they continue to give you attention - which now becomes unwanted attention. But to your question, I do think Aquarius and Scorpio are prone to it.
Scorpio yes - in fact that's the sign usually associated with obsession and compulsions in general. Aquarius? Nope. In fact Aquarius is the exact opposite of that and known for being detached and distant, loving freedom, the whole nine. Like others have mentioned above also, stalking can also be a Plutonian type of thing if you think about it - trying to keep tabs on the other person and possibly feeling a sense of power and control from that. Polysigh - Just about all my exes do everything you described in your OP; the constant 'monitoring' while either bad-mouthing, ignoring or both. As far as any common astrological themes in their charts go - off the top of my head the only thing they all have in common is a strong Pluto or prominent placements in Scorpio. Editing to add that also I absolutely don't believe that someone who is *really* over the other person, does this kind of thing, because when you're really over them you couldn't care less what they're thinking/saying/doing. I think anyone who insists otherwise is in a classic case of denial to be totally honest. IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 1083
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 02, 2011 05:57 AM
I will agree that Pisces won't let go very easily of emotional attachments and hence they are good candidates. In my personal life, the only ex who ever stalked me (and I had to get restraining order against) was a Pisces... Completely unexpected given how sweet these people normally are. Sweetness can quickly turn to creepiness if the person is not very stable emotionally. That is not to say that Pisces are prone to such behavior btw. I believe this has less to do with astrology and more with psychology, but I digress... The only reason I post this is to share my experience with a Pisces ex, and hence corroborate some comments above. But beyond that, it's quite dangerous to try to put people in boxes when it comes to dysfunction. Anyone has the "potential" to become a stalker under the "right" (in fact, wrong) circumstances. (Though, yeah, some Pluto obsession could help lol but I know too many Scorpios who are very cool to say that this is the only or main condition, u know?) IP: Logged |
BelligerentPygmy
Knowflake Posts: 475
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 02, 2011 09:13 AM
quote:
Originally posted by anongrl10:
I will agree that Pisces won't let go very easily of emotional attachments and hence they are good candidates. In my personal life, the only ex who ever stalked me (and I had to get restraining order against) was a Pisces... Completely unexpected given how sweet these people normally are. Sweetness can quickly turn to creepiness if the person is not very stable emotionally. That is not to say that Pisces are prone to such behavior btw. I believe this has less to do with astrology and more with psychology, but I digress... The only reason I post this is to share my experience with a Pisces ex, and hence corroborate some comments above. But beyond that, it's quite dangerous to try to put people in boxes when it comes to dysfunction. Anyone has the "potential" to become a stalker under the "right" (in fact, wrong) circumstances. (Though, yeah, some Pluto obsession could help lol but I know too many Scorpios who are very cool to say that this is the only or main condition, u know?)
I wasn't saying that *all* Scorpios will definitely stalk someone.But out of the people who do stalk others, you're usually probably going to find a strong Pluto or some Scorpio energy going on in the chart. I'd love to see the natal chart of your Pisces ex if you have it - I'd be willing to bet money I dont' have that there's some Scorpio or strong Pluto going on in there. I seriously doubt it's the Pisces in them. Pisces isn't a fixed sign and isn't associated with fixations or obsession of any type and in fact it's a pretty free-floating, elusive type of energy and they're actually more the type to float *away* from someone than stalk or monitor them. That aside - I discussed some parts of this subject with a friend a few hours ago - whether or not people who stalk or monitor exes have feelings for them. It was my opiniont that there definitely has to be some feeling there in some way in order to even have them on your mind enough to want to know what they're doing...my friend felt otherwise, that it can be purely curiosity with no feelings attached to it so there's a lot of opinions on this type of thing. Maybe it IS possible to do it and not have any feelings for the other party, I don't know - but I know that personally anyone that I have absolutely no residual feelings for, I never even think about, much less care what they're doing or what they're saying or who they're with. IP: Logged |
BelligerentPygmy
Knowflake Posts: 475
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 02, 2011 10:21 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Nicole401:
Yes, I do tend to act the opposite of how I really feel, but I can't pretend I don't care for too long.Pretending not to care kind of makes me feel.. powerful? Because caring equals emotion and emotion equals weakness. For example, if I show how much I care about a certain guy, a girl (that doesn't like me) might try to use him to hurt me (and make me jealous).
I totally understand what you're saying. I've definitely held back like that in the past, because for whatever reasons a lot of people DO see being that forthright as weakness; and a lot of guys DO tend to show more interest if you act like you just don't care about them; and some women WILL suddenly decide they're interested in someone that you have feelings for and then start pursuing them, purely in an attempt to hurt you. I've experienced all of that so I understand what you're saying here. But ultimately I decided I just rather be true to myself and be who I am and just say what I think and feel and let the chips fall where they may. I figure that the right guy won't have be turned off by that or have a problem with who I am, and that if finds himself interested in someone else then that's just not the right guy for me anyway. IP: Logged |
malicefey
Knowflake Posts: 32
From: NY
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 02, 2011 10:53 AM
quote:
Originally posted by BelligerentPygmy:
...and a lot of guys DO tend to show more interest if you act like you just don't care about them;...
...But ultimately I decided I just rather be true to myself and be who I am and just say what I think and feel and let the chips fall where they may. I figure that the right guy won't have be turned off by that or have a problem with who I am, and that if finds himself interested in someone else then that's just not the right guy for me anyway...
I agree with the whole guys showing more interest if you act like you don't care. Perhaps some men are more of a "chaser" and will wanna try harder for you. But if you come as too easy then it'll bore them fast. It's good for the guy to show you that he deserves you (let him do the chase) and at the same time guard your own interests. I heard somewhere that the harder the chase was for the guy, the more they will appreciate the girl once they do settle in. (Not sure how much truth is in that!) I know it's hard to pretend like you don't care (when you obviously do). But sometimes I do feel the urge to show them this is me, I'm not easy, I have standards the guys must be able to meet and work on. IP: Logged |
polysigh
Knowflake Posts: 76
From: Chicago, USA
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 02, 2011 11:00 AM
quote:
Originally posted by BelligerentPygmy:
Scorpio yes - in fact that's the sign usually associated with obsession and compulsions in general. Aquarius? Nope. In fact Aquarius is the exact opposite of that and known for being detached and distant, loving freedom, the whole nine. Like others have mentioned above also, stalking can also be a Plutonian type of thing if you think about it - trying to keep tabs on the other person and possibly feeling a sense of power and control from that. Polysigh - Just about all my exes do everything you described in your OP; the constant 'monitoring' while either bad-mouthing, ignoring or both. As far as any common astrological themes in their charts go - off the top of my head the only thing they all have in common is a strong Pluto or prominent placements in Scorpio. Editing to add that also I absolutely don't believe that someone who is *really* over the other person, does this kind of thing, because when you're really over them you couldn't care less what they're thinking/saying/doing. I think anyone who insists otherwise is in a classic case of denial to be totally honest.
I agree with you. When I am over someone and have no feelings for them I display total and complete indifference and I am strongly plutonian natally. So, if we agree that strong scorpio/pluto will do this kind of thing, I guess its safe to say that they are not over the person. I was interested in why such a person would not engage in real life if they still have some feelings for another. Is it fear or just waiting until they feel ready so they will just watch and wait?? IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 1083
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 02, 2011 11:18 AM
quote:
Originally posted by BelligerentPygmy:
I wasn't saying that *all* Scorpios will definitely stalk someone. But out of the people who do stalk others, you're usually probably going to find a strong Pluto or some Scorpio energy going on in the chart.
Geez, I wasn't responding to YOUR post, relax!  And I happen to agree that a strong Pluto can be(come) obsessive. IP: Logged |
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