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Author
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Topic: Ok little problem...
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Libreo
Knowflake Posts: 108
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 03, 2011 11:41 PM
  
I have a friend whom I have a lot of respect for and do not want to loose at all, he is a lovely guy and Iv'e known him for a while, but..... lately he has been texting A LOT! I mean first thing in the morning, all day every day, then a good night one at night, in between all these texts there's phonecalls too. At first I was a bit flattered and thought perhaps it may be something worth persuing, maybe. But lately the whole tone has shifted (remembering we are not in a relationship, more like a 'flirtationship') I am a single mother who works hard and needs to get my job done so that I'm finished and at home in time for my 2 girls to finish school, (girls are 12 and 4, they need me) I have no support around me, no dad for them, no family, and too busy for a social life strong enough to have a friend to ask for help. I have to work and when I finish I have to switch to mummy duties. I want to interact with them...anyway, getting off track. This guy has begun to text twice as much and if I don't stop what I am doing to respond immediately, he sulks! I think he expects me to text first (gosh this sounds childish! We are 38 and 41, mind you!) and when I don't I'll get for example yesterday morning, rush hour, dropping off the kids to school my phone went off "you must be busy :-(" I wasn't able to answer straight away so about an hour later I said "did you try to call me? Why did you say I must be busy?" and he said "because your'e really quiet", I have explained myself in the past and the pace of my life but because he is a single full time parent too, he seems to think if he can be in constant contact 24/7, then so should I. Even if I was in love with him and in a steady relationship with him I wouldn't want to text back and forth every waking moment! Also, when he is really desperate for communication (most of the time) the texts are sexual. I am NOT in the mood to be sexual at the end of a long day, bathing my little on, helping my big one with homework and cooking dinner all at the same time. Last night he wrote "Oh well, time for a nice, steamy hot shower" I was run off my feet at the time!!! I'm beginning to resent him but I do value his friendship and it was platonic for a long time until recently but now I really want it to go back to being platonic. How? Help? He's too sensitive.
I'm not good at posting charts I don't know how to do it but me
21st October 73 at 2.07pm
him - 27th August 1970 at 8.25am.
I need to put a stop to this, it's draining me, but I do not want to hurt him at all.IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 03, 2011 11:53 PM
Just tell him to cool it down and that you have responsibilities and priorities! If he doesn't understand, then he really needs to be shown the door in terms of your time and platonic friendship. Sexting is not appropriate among busy mature adults who have a plutonic relationship, and sexual innuendo would be the last thing on my mind when I am busy taking care of my children. Granted, I'm not a single parent, but still.IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 447
From: dumont, CO
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted November 04, 2011 12:01 AM
You need to teach him about boundaries, the sooner you put a stop to his behavior the better. Let him know that you value his friendship but its hard been a single mom and you dont have time for a third child LOL. Ofcourse be diplomatic and assertive while you explain this to him so message is clear without sounding too hurtful. This is not fair for you.as i read your thing his behavior unfortunately reminds me of mine......when guys texts me a lot I get use to texting a lot as well back and forth with them and love flirting through texting, is so much fun!!! Guys eventually though want to cut down on the texting and just talk more face to face or via messenger and they just let me know (I dont like talking on the phone). When a guy tells me they want to cut back on texting, I just stop texting. I have learned to listen when people want their space and respect that and NOT take it personally. In my case though the guys that tell me they dont like texting do like me and want to continue seeing me romantically. I think your mistake was not letting him know as soon as he started doing it that it needs to stop and why. Your case is more delicate bc you don't like him and want to let him know you want to be back to been just friends and nothing more. IP: Logged |
tuxedoMask
Knowflake Posts: 651
From:
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 04, 2011 01:18 AM
a scorpio? whatever you say to that man, will most definitely be taken the wrong way and will then be held for as long as possible til he then finds the right opportunity to hit you with his stinger..if u want it to be platonic, it'll happen if and ever u decide u like him and would like something more intimate.. he may go over, get what he wants and then -BAM! sting.. it's all or nothing.. so either you like the man, maybe invite him over, (but if i were u, with two girls, i wouldn't do so, myself).. or tell him u don't think you're a match at all period point blank and never look back! the only time i've had situations similar to that has been with people that have things prominent in Cancer. Cancer sun's do that a lot.. i snap on them a lot.. particularly the one's calling at 2 am or something when they just gave me half of their attention not long ago while i was talking. a text or a call after 10 or 11 pm, means other things are up. so unless i was out with said person that night, there'd be very little reason for them to call or text that late unless their intentions involved a "hot, steamy, shower" IP: Logged |
Libreo
Knowflake Posts: 108
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 04, 2011 01:54 AM
These are our birthdates...
me - 21st October 73 at 2.07pm
him - 27th August 1970 at 8.25am.
He is Virgo Sun, Cancer Moon, Libra Venus, Leo Moon, not sure of the rest.IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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