posted November 08, 2011 05:05 PM            

I used to get really mad them. They are always like “where are you going?” “what are you doing?” “where have you been?”. As a Leo w/Aqua rising I hate answering to anyone, friends, family, whoever. I just thought they were nosy. But then I noticed that they got sad when I would talk to them about it. They don’t just do this with me, they do it with everybody. This is because they just CARE so much, they really do. They want to know if you’ll be alright and if everything is okay because they actually care about you. I do admit, part of it is control and that nosiness. This is probably because they are cardinal (believe it or not), they like to be in control and if you are in their sphere they want to know that everything is calm and “theirs”.

I always think of the time I went out to a bar with 3 male friends – a Cancer, a Libra and a Sagittarius (my judgment is wacky sometimes). I was the designated driver so they were really pounding those beers hard. The Sag was my best friend at the time, he was my “work husband” and we were attached at the hip. The Cancer was just a co-worker, not totally random but not my bff. The Libra was this hilarious, kind of rowdy type (I wonder what his AC is?!) he was the real party starter! So we are having fun, talking about dumb stuff and the Libra then proceeds to start touching my arm and then he moved up to my hair and tried to touch my face. I firmly told him to stop and I kind of looked at the Sag like ”okay, let’s leave or help me!”. He stopped for a while but then he started again, I was visibly uncomfortable. The Cancer noticed this and said “Hey, she said stop!” and all the while the Sag is laughing at me! The Cancer was also the smallest guy in the bunch and the Libra was, like I said a rowdy, scrappy type and the Sag was the biggest and the oldest! I never forgot that (obviously) and I talked to him about it and he said “I wouldn’t want to see someone acting like that with my sister!”. I lost what little respect I had for the Sag…

There are many examples of this in my family but seeing random guys act like this proves that it is not just familial loyalty, they like “a happy family” in every setting.

I personally would not want to date a Cancer because of the possession/nosy factor but they are great friends and family members.

posted November 08, 2011 06:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
Any cancer influenced folks, can you expand on this fear of loss that seems instilled within you?
I know the more cancerian influence the obsessive this fear is.

Can you explain it to me? I'm trying to understand it and how it relates to the moon as well.

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My Sun's ruling planet is in Cancer, my mom is one, and I have grown up around people with strong Cancer influences. I was recently having a conversation about this same topic with my mom and we came to an interesting conclusion. Cancers have a very healthy (and sometimes unhealthy) concept of their "stuff". In a more archetypal sense, Cancer is the first sign on the zodiacal wheel where we develop a sense of what is "personal". That which is personal to a Cancer goes into a category labeled "MINE". Just as Capricorn collects materials in order to build a public presence, Cancer collects experiences in order to build a personal presence. Loss of those experiences or anything which they believe supports those experiences (money, a lover, a child needing the Cancer's nurturing, the cereal boxes they have been hoarding since they were 10), is viewed as a loss of something deeply personal.

posted November 08, 2011 06:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
We rely on others too much instead of believing in ourselves, so we have like zero ambition.

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Speak for yourself! The Cancers I know are highly ambitious and have high ranking positions at their companies and/or they are professionals. One is the board president at a non-profit on top of being a social worker, one is a software engineer, one a lawyer, one is an architect, the guy from my ex-job is a top salesman at a pharmaceutical company…

When did this board get so negative?

posted November 08, 2011 07:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
...cancers just have a huge inferiority complex.... ]

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I whould say that is true for cancer males, given that they tend to brag a lot or make themselves more then what they really are.

It used to drive me nuts, but its a way for them to feel accepted and overcome there own insecurites.

Cancer females generally think a lot about "rainy days" in the future and the more saved, "reserve funds available" or convertable assets they have to there disposal the safer they feel.

downtomars,

I've bumped into a lot of male Cancers in tech. A lot of them thought are Cancer/Gemini mixes.

I swear one of the Cancer sun, Gemini moon engineers I worked with whould never leave without wearing his "Iron Ring" or enginering ring, only engineers can get them. Its The same as earning wings for a pilot.

Again, you can see the need for him to stand out and feel accepted.

The point is cancers worry a lot.

posted November 08, 2011 07:20 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by downtomars:
I know lots of Cancers, male and female, my brother is one as well as some cousins. Here is what I have found:

I used to get really mad them. They are always like “where are you going?” “what are you doing?” “where have you been?”. As a Leo w/Aqua rising I hate answering to anyone, friends, family, whoever. I just thought they were nosy. But then I noticed that they got sad when I would talk to them about it. They don’t just do this with me, they do it with everybody. This is because they just [b]CARE so much, they really do. They want to know if you’ll be alright and if everything is okay because they actually care about you. I do admit, part of it is control and that nosiness. This is probably because they are cardinal (believe it or not), they like to be in control and if you are in their sphere they want to know that everything is calm and “theirs”.

I always think of the time I went out to a bar with 3 male friends – a Cancer, a Libra and a Sagittarius (my judgment is wacky sometimes). I was the designated driver so they were really pounding those beers hard. The Sag was my best friend at the time, he was my “work husband” and we were attached at the hip. The Cancer was just a co-worker, not totally random but not my bff. The Libra was this hilarious, kind of rowdy type (I wonder what his AC is?!) he was the real party starter! So we are having fun, talking about dumb stuff and the Libra then proceeds to start touching my arm and then he moved up to my hair and tried to touch my face. I firmly told him to stop and I kind of looked at the Sag like ”okay, let’s leave or help me!”. He stopped for a while but then he started again, I was visibly uncomfortable. The Cancer noticed this and said “Hey, she said stop!” and all the while the Sag is laughing at me! The Cancer was also the smallest guy in the bunch and the Libra was, like I said a rowdy, scrappy type and the Sag was the biggest and the oldest! I never forgot that (obviously) and I talked to him about it and he said “I wouldn’t want to see someone acting like that with my sister!”. I lost what little respect I had for the Sag…

There are many examples of this in my family but seeing random guys act like this proves that it is not just familial loyalty, they like “a happy family” in every setting.

I personally would not want to date a Cancer because of the possession/nosy factor but they are great friends and family members.

I think some of the Moon keywords explain why there is a fear of loss: emotions, nurturing, sentimentality…they like things to stay the same…[/B]

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Interesting,. Im sorry about why happened with the sag.
Because of that situation is that was this Sag is your former friend?

posted November 08, 2011 07:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
I'm a cancer. Plain and simple cancers just have a huge inferiority complex and feel that everyone will eventually leave them because they find us annoying and also there's the huge fear that we're never going to amount to anything. We rely on others too much instead of believing in ourselves, so we have like zero ambition. It really is terrible being a cancer, because every day is one scary possibility after the other, and we have no confidence in ourselves which equals zero ambition without outside reassurance. But on the plus side, it makes us good listeners, and really concerned about the underdog and about other people's sensitivities, bc we are so sensitive ourselves. We're pretty naive, though, so we can say and do some mean and/or socially weird things without knowing it. I wouldnt be surprised if that's what was going on with what the above poster said about them asking where you're going. I'm sure they dont realize that's rude. It's not about control or possessiveness at all. We just dont realize it's rude. We dont care what you do or where u go....lol

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Hello Runaround

posted November 08, 2011 08:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
Interesting,. Im sorry about why happened with the sag.
Because of that situation is that was this Sag is your former friend?

I agree they are possessive but I like it, to an extent.
At least you know who your friends are now.

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posted November 08, 2011 08:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by downtomars:
I know lots of Cancers, male and female, my brother is one as well as some cousins. Here is what I have found:

I used to get really mad them. They are always like “where are you going?” “what are you doing?” “where have you been?”. As a Leo w/Aqua rising I hate answering to anyone, friends, family, whoever. I just thought they were nosy. But then I noticed that they got sad when I would talk to them about it. They don’t just do this with me, they do it with everybody. This is because they just [b]CARE so much, they really do. They want to know if you’ll be alright and if everything is okay because they actually care about you. I do admit, part of it is control and that nosiness. This is probably because they are cardinal (believe it or not), they like to be in control and if you are in their sphere they want to know that everything is calm and “theirs”.

I always think of the time I went out to a bar with 3 male friends – a Cancer, a Libra and a Sagittarius (my judgment is wacky sometimes). I was the designated driver so they were really pounding those beers hard. The Sag was my best friend at the time, he was my “work husband” and we were attached at the hip. The Cancer was just a co-worker, not totally random but not my bff. The Libra was this hilarious, kind of rowdy type (I wonder what his AC is?!) he was the real party starter! So we are having fun, talking about dumb stuff and the Libra then proceeds to start touching my arm and then he moved up to my hair and tried to touch my face. I firmly told him to stop and I kind of looked at the Sag like ”okay, let’s leave or help me!”. He stopped for a while but then he started again, I was visibly uncomfortable. The Cancer noticed this and said “Hey, she said stop!” and all the while the Sag is laughing at me! The Cancer was also the smallest guy in the bunch and the Libra was, like I said a rowdy, scrappy type and the Sag was the biggest and the oldest! I never forgot that (obviously) and I talked to him about it and he said “I wouldn’t want to see someone acting like that with my sister!”. I lost what little respect I had for the Sag…

There are many examples of this in my family but seeing random guys act like this proves that it is not just familial loyalty, they like “a happy family” in every setting.

I personally would not want to date a Cancer because of the possession/nosy factor but they are great friends and family members.

I think some of the Moon keywords explain why there is a fear of loss: emotions, nurturing, sentimentality…they like things to stay the same…[/B]

---

Incidentally I'm a Leo with Aqua rising too, and I do the exact same thing the Cancers you know do - I have my Mars in Cancer.

You had it right when you said it's about caring, where you jumped the shark was when you make it about control and nosiness, which is more of a Scorpio thing than a Cancerian one. Cancers are just extremely protective of, and worry alot about, the people closest to them.

posted November 08, 2011 08:41 PM            

I'm with you on that one. But I learned to pay attention to body language and the general vibe of people, I am like you on which I express concern and ask questions sometimes and it comes off as me being nosey, when it is just me caring. I take baby steps to express this nurturing side to me. I pay very careful attention to people to see if they are compatible with this side of me. As I dont express the questioning concerns with everyone. So I find it's must easier to observe first to see who's more fitting of this side.

posted November 08, 2011 08:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BelligerentPygmy:
Incidentally I'm a Leo with Aqua rising too, and I do the exact same thing the Cancers you know do - I have my Mars in Cancer.

You had it right when you said it's about caring, where you jumped the shark was when you make it about control and nosiness, which is more of a Scorpio thing than a Cancerian one. Cancers are just extremely protective of, and worry alot about, the people closest to them.

I kinda have the same issue going on between myself and my brother - every time I express concern or ask questions or make comments trying to look out for him, he gets p155ed off and tells me to mind my own business, which is totally perplexing to me because I honestly have no interest in what he does as long as he's okay. It's all about checking to see if he's alright and trying to make sure he stays that way.

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posted November 08, 2011 08:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by downtomars:
Control and nosiness are not exclusive to Scorpio. Especially not control, that is a cardinal sign keyword. Cancers like to control the home, environment, family.

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Got anything to support that? Cuz I've read a lot of astrology books (and websites) over the years and none of them have ever mentioned control issues in connection to Cancer. I've also known more than a few Cancers in my life and none of them had any control issues either. Sorry.

I think the problem here is that people who don't have anything in the sign, don't understand the energy. Like I said, to those on the outside who don't 'get' it all the question-asking and things come across as having different motives than they actually do.

posted November 08, 2011 09:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BelligerentPygmy:
Got anything to support that? Cuz I've read a lot of astrology books (and websites) over the years and none of them have ever mentioned control issues in connection to Cancer. I've also known more than a few Cancers in my life and none of them had any control issues either. Sorry.

I think the problem here is that people who don't have anything in the sign, don't understand the energy. Like I said, to those on the outside who don't 'get' it all the question-asking and things come across as having different motives than they actually do.

Basically what it comes down to you confusing being protective of the people they love and their turf, being defensive, with control. Two very different things entirely.

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I think you have an aversion to the word "control" it isn't always manipulative control, like with Scorpio, it is more like "holding things down" which is still control. Leaders (Cardinal) usually have some control don't they?

As for proof, just read Linda Goodman's Love Signs Cancer man-Leo woman section or just read definitions of Cardinal signs.

posted November 08, 2011 09:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
@Bel

I actualy do think cancers are a bit controlling
they are possessive.. emotionally. If they love/care for you, you are theirs and no one else's. It's literally like a crab digging into you... The only way to let go is to kill them LOL

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Two examples are from the people I mentioned earlier: The lawyer (female) has a boyfriend who doesn't work and prefers it that way so she can be the one "in charge". It is odd because she does not come from a matriarchal culture...

The software engineer didn't not want his wife to work and kind of dashed her dreams (told her she would not make enough money to even pay for the degree), now she is a SAHM...

I think of famous men also, like Mike Tyson and OJ Simpson, who like control. Of course those are extreme examples but they show that Cancers are not beyond the need for control.

posted November 08, 2011 09:48 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
I noticed that too.. down...
they prefer their partners to not work or do something in which they can be seen as the power figure.

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My Cancer boyfriend makes 3 times more than I do, and I prefer it lol. He likes to feel like he's the one in charge. Must be the Leo Moon.

posted November 08, 2011 09:57 PM            

My Dad is a Capricorn with a Cancer Moon, Venus in Cancer and Cancer rising (Merc in Cappy). He is also very protective and doesn't let go of certain things until HE is ready.

My brother is a Saggie with Moon in Scorp, Merc in Sag and has a killer ability to hold on to everything and I will say, he is more obsessed with losing things (friends, love family) than my parents put together. He is more of the serious Archer with a bite (Scorp moon) and has kept in touch / maintained friendships from when he was a kid (even though we moved around).

I am a Saggie Sun, Moon in Aries, Merc in Cappy and I am more of the fun loving Saggie that gets serious when it comes to work, study and home (Virgo rising, Pluto conjunct ACS within 2 degrees in the 1st house). I lose things all the time and I go through cycles of intense change (Military moves, deployments, my own moves before I married Bear) LOL... I also lose material things which is why I don't spend a ton of money on jewelery because I will lose it at some point.

posted November 08, 2011 10:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Purrr:
I'm a Cancer Sun with Libra Moon and I'm the least obsessive person you'll ever meet. In fact, I often forget the things that I SHOULD obsess about like my scooter (Did I put the lock on the back tire) or finances. I am the worst. I have my Cancer bf help me with planning and organizing my bank account. Besides that, I rely on myself for everything else and I have A LOT of ambition. I'm definitely not naive either. I've seen girls do the stupidest things that I learned at a very young
age to not do.

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okay, Well, I do all of those things. And i do have a lot of ambition, it's just that i need a lot of reassurance/encouragement. I'm naive at certain things and not naive at others. For example, it's difficult to lie to me, i can see people's fakeness and i can see the games people play and how they probably really are on the inside despite these games. But when it comes to what is socially awkward and how much people will judge you, I am pretty naive. I'm pretty accepting of others so I tend tothink everyone else is too, but that's not the case. Plus, i just do a lot of socially awkward things that one probably shouldnt do. I've met other cancers like that too.

I'm a worrier, but just like virgo, that is a cancer thing. However virgo is likely to actually organize themselves while cancer just puts their heads in the clouds trying to escape reality as much as possible.

posted November 08, 2011 11:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
I'm a cancer. Plain and simple cancers just have a huge inferiority complex and feel that everyone will eventually leave them because they find us annoying and also there's the huge fear that we're never going to amount to anything. We rely on others too much instead of believing in ourselves, so we have like zero ambition. It really is terrible being a cancer, because every day is one scary possibility after the other, and we have no confidence in ourselves which equals zero ambition without outside reassurance. But on the plus side, it makes us good listeners, and really concerned about the underdog and about other people's sensitivities, bc we are so sensitive ourselves. We're pretty naive, though, so we can say and do some mean and/or socially weird things without knowing it. I wouldnt be surprised if that's what was going on with what the above poster said about them asking where you're going. I'm sure they dont realize that's rude. It's not about control or possessiveness at all. We just dont realize it's rude. We dont care what you do or where u go....lol

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Ohmigod. You just nailed my miserable existence for me. At least, a huge part of it. I've got the Cancer Moon, 4th House (4• orb opposition MC Capricorn). As a child, I ALWAYS feared irrationally losing my mother, as a woman - I inevitably get to a place in relationships where that fear extends to the relationship, and now, as a single mom, all of those irrational fears of loss and inadequacy to the point of self-loathing and paralysis in my personal life. It's odd, EVERYONE tells me I'm a great mom - and I've got an Aqua stellium going on - so maybe I am - but I ain't home baking cookies or takIng the kids to soccer meets...so I don't feel like one.

And, since becoming a mother...I haven't a clue what to do with my own life.

Depression? Motherhood? Or just being a Cancer? Sorry to hijack the thread...