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Author
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Topic: Cancer Dealing with Deception
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LunaChik
Newflake Posts: 10
From: MD USA
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 09, 2011 12:12 PM
  
I have a Cancer Sun, Taurus Rising, Leo Moon..my current boyfriend lied to me when we met over a year ago about him seeing someone else when we met. He continued to lie about it for months. I am having a hard time with it. Why?He is a Libra Sun. I can post our charts. Any help is very welcome! IP: Logged |
amowls**
Knowflake Posts: 763
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted November 09, 2011 12:21 PM
I mean, of course you're having a hard time with it, he lied to you, and did it for a long time. He CHEATED on you (and the other person). IP: Logged |
OpiumBreast
Knowflake Posts: 38
From: california, America
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted November 09, 2011 12:30 PM
All men cheat. If given the opportunity with the right woman. All women will cheat if given the opportunity with the right man. If you are faithful then you have never been tested and if you WERE tested you weren't tested by a superior significant other. Really only the select few are able to maintain relationships. The Alpha Male and The Queens of Women but even they can be tempted. IP: Logged |
LunaChik
Newflake Posts: 10
From: MD USA
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 09, 2011 12:31 PM
We were just getting to know each other, so we weren't in a relationship then. Of course he said he didn't tell me b/c he liked me. But it took him many months to come clean about her. The lies bother me after we were in a relationship. People tell me to get over it, but it keeps coming into my head. I saw someone else when we first me as well, but I told him at the time I had a friend in town. It's not important in the beginning, but for him to deny & lie months after still affects me.IP: Logged |
Libreo
Knowflake Posts: 152
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 09, 2011 02:33 PM
Did he voluntarily come clean about it? Or was it discovered by you accidently? Or did you press him about it until he caved? If it's the first, I would be very greatful to him and feel reassured that even though it took him some time, he obviously has a conscience and is an honest man.IP: Logged |
tuxedoMask
Knowflake Posts: 762
From:
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 09, 2011 02:35 PM
what degree is your ascendant in? you'll have a full moon in your first house come tomorrow.. or maybe a full moon in your twelfth, idk... with uranus in aries, is it moving through your twelfth house or your eleventh?IP: Logged |
OpiumBreast
Knowflake Posts: 38
From: california, America
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted November 09, 2011 02:54 PM
She just said that she cheated too and yet she gets upset because he does? haha. I love people on this planet. Best Incarnation yet.IP: Logged |
LunaChik
Newflake Posts: 10
From: MD USA
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 09, 2011 03:07 PM
We didn't cheat in the beginning. We just met. We didn't talk to each other every day. He told me I was the first woman he had been w/ since his wife left 3 mos prior. I said don't you need to play the field? He said no. I found out about the other via Facebook, when I asked who she was he said a friend of his sisters...I asked again after she kept putting things on his page & he said he slept with her once, blah...months & months down the road,a year now..the truths still come out.
The lies after we establish a relationship bother me, not sleeping with someone a few times in the beginning b/4 we get to know one another.IP: Logged |
LunaChik
Newflake Posts: 10
From: MD USA
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 09, 2011 03:10 PM
I have my chart, but am a beginner at reading it. I am not sure how to post it here. Any help, Tuxedomask?IP: Logged |
OpiumBreast
Knowflake Posts: 38
From: california, America
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted November 09, 2011 03:10 PM
Yeah but I don't understand this "cheating" thing that people talk about. Just because you are in a "relationship" with someone doesn't mean that you own them. It is impossible to cheat because no one belongs to you and you don't belong to anyone else. So how can you possibly get upset? You go to astro.com. you find free charts. you put in your info. You copy and paste it here. IP: Logged |
LunaChik
Newflake Posts: 10
From: MD USA
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 09, 2011 03:13 PM
Opium, I am not upset or ever mentioned cheating. I have a hard time with 50 lies when he could have told me in the beginning he was screwing both of us at the same time. I would've used a condom or told him to call when he was finished.
LIES, one after another to cover up.IP: Logged |
OpiumBreast
Knowflake Posts: 38
From: california, America
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted November 09, 2011 03:18 PM
you don't get it. You claim that he is "lying" to you. Lying implies ownership. He is just keeping his business private. He cannot lie to you about relationship matters because you aren't his master. He doesn't owe you anything. IP: Logged |
LunaChik
Newflake Posts: 10
From: MD USA
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 09, 2011 03:21 PM
Won't let me paste, no idea why.IP: Logged |
LunaChik
Newflake Posts: 10
From: MD USA
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 09, 2011 03:24 PM
I don't think lying about anything is good. Thanks for your input. IP: Logged |
mintgirl123
Knowflake Posts: 785
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted November 09, 2011 05:05 PM
quote:
Originally posted by OpiumBreast:
you don't get it. You claim that he is "lying" to you. Lying implies ownership. He is just keeping his business private. He cannot lie to you about relationship matters because you aren't his master. He doesn't owe you anything.
Well in most cases, when one is in a committed relationship, one expects the other to respect and stay true.
Your mentality seems alittle messed up. So are you suggesting, if you're in a serious relationship, and they stray, you are overreacting and they have every right to do what they want? That they aren't cheating bc you don't 'own them'??
This isn't about owning anybody. It's expecting your boyfriend/husbund to be loyal bc you've made the choice to be exclusive and committed.
I'm not really referring to the OP and the guy cos don't think they were exclusive, but I just mean in general. You remind me of this person I read who commented on another forum. He was saying you're not cheating at all and can do anything you want bc you're not married LOL.
Okay. I'm guessing for you, you'd prefer open relationships? Or do you cheat on everyone you get with?
IP: Logged |
mintgirl123
Knowflake Posts: 785
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted November 09, 2011 05:09 PM
quote:
Originally posted by OpiumBreast:
All men cheat. If given the opportunity with the right woman. All women will cheat if given the opportunity with the right man. If you are faithful then you have never been tested and if you WERE tested you weren't tested by a superior significant other. Really only the select few are able to maintain relationships. The Alpha Male and The Queens of Women but even they can be tempted.
Don't generalise.
Not all men cheat, nor would even if an attractive girl is throwing themselves at him. Some men CAN stay committed and loyal.
Being tempted is one thing... Duh we're human beings, but saying everyone will cheat is just silly.
IP: Logged |
mintgirl123
Knowflake Posts: 785
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted November 09, 2011 05:10 PM
quote:
Originally posted by OpiumBreast:
All men cheat. If given the opportunity with the right woman. All women will cheat if given the opportunity with the right man. If you are faithful then you have never been tested and if you WERE tested you weren't tested by a superior significant other. Really only the select few are able to maintain relationships. The Alpha Male and The Queens of Women but even they can be tempted.
Don't generalise.
Not all men cheat, nor would even if an attractive girl is throwing themselves at him. Some men CAN stay committed and loyal.
Being tempted is one thing... Duh we're human beings, but saying everyone will cheat is just silly.
IP: Logged |
NativelyJoan
Knowflake Posts: 265
From: Boston, MA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 09, 2011 05:35 PM
quote:
Originally posted by LunaChik:
I have a Cancer Sun, Taurus Rising, Leo Moon..my current boyfriend lied to me when we met over a year ago about him seeing someone else when we met. He continued to lie about it for months. I am having a hard time with it. Why?He is a Libra Sun. I can post our charts. Any help is very welcome!
Follow the directions on this link to learn how to post your chart.
http://www.linda-goodman.com/cgi-bin/ubb/ubbmisc.cgi?action=getannounce&ForumNumber=24&Start=2455736.99&End=2459389&Session= Your relationship started really rocky, with all that deception I'm not sure if it's even worth pursuing any further. I'm a Libra like your boyfriend and it takes time for me to decide whether or not I want to be with someone. He might have a different definition of what signifies being in a relationship. Honestly though is this guy really worth the effort of being distressed and suspicious? IP: Logged |
starfox
Moderator Posts: 665
From: London England
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted November 09, 2011 05:40 PM
quote:
Originally posted by OpiumBreast:
you don't get it. You claim that he is "lying" to you. Lying implies ownership. He is just keeping his business private. He cannot lie to you about relationship matters because you aren't his master. He doesn't owe you anything.
He owes her the respect of not putting her at risk of sexually transmitted diseases through his philandering. IP: Logged |
BelligerentPygmy
Knowflake Posts: 552
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 09, 2011 05:57 PM
quote:
Originally posted by starfox:
He owes her the respect of not putting her at risk of sexually transmitted diseases through his philandering.
Uh, people's own health is *their* responsibility. People love to try and place blame on others and play victim when they themselves are the ones at fault for what happened to them, by putting themselves in risky situations. If she's smart enough to protect herself she'll be fine no matter what HE does. Full stop. IP: Logged |
starfox
Moderator Posts: 665
From: London England
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted November 09, 2011 06:06 PM
quote:
Originally posted by BelligerentPygmy:
Uh, people's own health is *their* responsibility. People love to try and place blame on others and play victim when they themselves are the ones at fault for what happened to them, by putting themselves in risky situations. If she's smart enough to protect herself she'll be fine no matter what HE does. Full stop.
But what about people who knowingly infect others with HIV for example?
Sometimes one does not even know when they are being put in a risky situation, no matter how smart they may be,you simply cannot contend for all situations..
IP: Logged |
OpiumBreast
Knowflake Posts: 38
From: california, America
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted November 09, 2011 07:03 PM
quote:
Originally posted by mintgirl123:
Don't generalise.
Not all men cheat, nor would even if an attractive girl is throwing themselves at him. Some men CAN stay committed and loyal.
Being tempted is one thing... Duh we're human beings, but saying everyone will cheat is just silly.
There is no need to generalize. I understand the human condition to the full extent. The most powerful men will sleep with other women besides their partner. If the most powerful men do this with temptation being thrown at them from the most beautiful women on earth then the common man would surely do the same. You don't want to admit this fact because it is painful to think. The highest standard is still possible however. This is when you don't sleep around NOT because of an "obligation of Relationship or commitment" but because you reach the understanding that your partner is the Best counterpart for you and you find no value in anyone else. This is the highest moral road. The True Love. True love is not obligated or committed because of tradition or superstition but because it wants to be. This is only possible if you have a relationship with your twin flame on the earthly plane. If you are not with your twin flame then you will naturally be inclined to keep searching for the "Better" man or woman. IP: Logged |
mintgirl123
Knowflake Posts: 785
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted November 09, 2011 07:07 PM
^ lol you know nothing about how I think. Hell I've been cheated on badly by the only person I ever really cared about, so lol...(and he was definitely a soulmate)so try again hun. Sure some powerful men sleep around, but that's more their character flaws than anything else. Just cos many men cheat does not mean all do.And yes, you do choose not to cheat bc you should feel your partner is the best in your eyes. But a part of being loyal IS about being responsible, and staying committed based on mutual understanding and respect.
-_- Twin flame?? You DO realise how EXTREMELY!!!!!!!! Rare that is? Lots of people assume they're with their twin flame, but it's more a soulmate relationship.
And one CAN be fulfilled in a normal relationship, it's all about give and take.
IP: Logged |
OpiumBreast
Knowflake Posts: 38
From: california, America
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted November 09, 2011 07:09 PM
quote:
Originally posted by mintgirl123:
^ lol you know nothing about how I think. Hell I've been cheated on badly by the only person I ever really cared about, so lol... Try again hun. Sure some powerful men sleep around, but that's more their character flaws than anything else. Just cos many men cheat does not mean all do.And yes, you do choose not to cheat bc you should feel your partner is the best in your eyes. But a part of being loyal IS about being responsible, and staying committed based on mutual understanding and respect.
-_-
I know what you try to deny. I know what you hide from yourself. Not all men cheat? Who has remained faithful to you? "Men don't sleep around because of "character flaws"?" Men sleep around because it is their nature to do so. Men are not so much different than the Animals and look at what they do. Do Animals get married? Do Animals get mad at their partners when they "cheat"? IP: Logged |
OpiumBreast
Knowflake Posts: 38
From: california, America
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted November 09, 2011 07:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by mintgirl123:
^ lol you know nothing about how I think. Hell I've been cheated on badly by the only person I ever really cared about, so lol...(and he was definitely a soulmate)so try again hun. Sure some powerful men sleep around, but that's more their character flaws than anything else. Just cos many men cheat does not mean all do.And yes, you do choose not to cheat bc you should feel your partner is the best in your eyes. But a part of being loyal IS about being responsible, and staying committed based on mutual understanding and respect.
-_- Twin flame?? You DO realise how EXTREMELY!!!!!!!! Rare that is? Lots of people assume they're with their twin flame, but it's more a soulmate relationship.
And one CAN be fulfilled in a normal relationship, it's all about give and take.
The soul mate prepares you for the Twin Flame. Soul mates are different from Twin Flames. I also tend to think that most Twin Flame relationships are reserved for the after world. Hell, most twin flames take breaks from each other by incarnating in the physical. They come here to learn more about understanding their true love by having relationship lessons in their incarnations. IP: Logged |
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