posted November 12, 2011 03:39 PM            

One week ago, i suddenly lost my grandfather and at the same day i learned that my uncle has level 4(last stage) cancer and he has several weeks...
After that day, I and father luckily survived an accident like jupiter in 12th house....

And for all these moments, as being moon in pisces, conjunct ascendant in first house combo, i couldnt drop a single tear... Why am i the always the cold blooded... Why do i cry in a stupid movie but not in these situations... Why am i always the one who has to be strong at these moments... It is the pluto thing i guess..

I suddenly realized that, (as a guy being that moon combo, venus in sagittarus, venus trine jupiter guy etc) i am not capable of real love.... I dont have venus/neptune but i never fall in love, but i just love the situations that is created in my mind, AND i put the personalities into the bodies that l like and then i call it love !!!, actually i have never been in really love... I am highly spiritual and i have tremendous awareness thus in my opinion i am not capable of it.....

I rarely understand true gift.. i rarely thank God for my good conditions... Why do i always think i deserve better?... Why do i never satisfy with whatever i have? Why am i always right at the end? Why do i like feel that i will let down the people who loves me ? i make them dissapointed? At the end i will turn my back to them? Is this their karma or mine? Why am i so harsh on myself?

I think these were a few of the Saturn's lessons for now and i fail to learn it.... Saturn is good in my chart so i hope i will learn it someday.....

posted November 12, 2011 04:41 PM            

I'm sure you are capable of real love. You're young that's why you've never really loved so far. I'm your age and I haven't truly loved anybody either.
Someday you'll meet someone who will break your ice.

And don't worry about the crying. Some people cry in those situations and some don't. You have to be strong because that is probably the role you've been given by your family and friends. If you don't want to be the strong one, the rock everybodie's leaning on, you should allow yourself to show weakness to others.
But maybe the lack of tears is just your way to cope. One does not have to cry to be truly sad. Don't think that.

posted November 12, 2011 07:21 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by SmilingHeart:
My God!
I'm really sorry for your loss, my dear!
What a horrible time you've had.

I'm sure you are capable of real love. You're young that's why you've never really loved so far. I'm your age and I haven't truly loved anybody either.
Someday you'll meet someone who will break your ice.

And don't worry about the crying. Some people cry in those situations and some don't. You have to be strong because that is probably the role you've been given by your family and friends. If you don't want to be the strong one, the rock everybodie's leaning on, you should allow yourself to show weakness to others.
But maybe the lack of tears is just your way to cope. One does not have to cry to be truly sad. Don't think that.

I hope everything will get better soon!
Take care, my dear.

---

posted November 13, 2011 05:02 AM            

You propose then take off... Damn Sag's!!

posted November 13, 2011 05:08 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lioness:
Its all because you left me at the alter

You propose then take off... Damn Sag's!!

LOL

---

So you are saying i am getting punished? Karma is a bi**h!!!

posted November 13, 2011 05:10 AM            

note to self:

posted November 13, 2011 05:15 AM            

I was ROLLING when she said that!

poor SAM......

He straight married her, and kicked Dean to the CURB!

posted November 13, 2011 05:22 AM            

The (bad) wishing well..

The lil girl wish her teddy bear real..

He was real, big with bi polar reading porn and drinking... Then he blew the stuffing out of his head...

OOO And the guy that could control peoples minds..
He told Dean give me your car!
Dean said OK....

I love that Impala. bad azz car!

posted November 13, 2011 05:27 AM            

oo and scared Dean Hilarious!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtSeo4Erel4

posted November 13, 2011 05:29 AM            

I first saw images and GIFs of Supernatural on Tumblr.
So when I first heard Dean, I WAS SHOCK-ED.
All gruff and hurgydergyehd.

posted November 13, 2011 09:00 AM            

------------------
Want a peek in to my journal?