Do we deny our true love?

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Author	Topic: Do we deny our true love?
Lioness Knowflake Posts: 3527 From: Registered: Mar 2010	posted November 14, 2011 09:34 PM Ive been noticing something lately.. Maybe its because of Saturn being in Libra and all relationships are being tested.. Ive noticed most people dont end up with the one they "really" love... Maybe its a fear or its fated to be starcrossed... Ive have friends that are happily married, but have feelings for a person from their past, that they never got over.. I have a friend, shes married but been having a 20 year fling.. Its not often, may be years apart, but every once in a while they met up... They talk a lot but rarely see each other... She says he is her love, but could never be with him... Then both of them separated from there spouse's.. but they both said they cant be with the other in a committing relationship. Im confused if they both love each other for 20 years.. Why not just be together??? Yet neither will. I know there alot of relationships out there like this.. Probably more, than people know about, as this is kept a secret and not shared with just anyone... Are most of us meant to have star crossed lovers??? The lucky few actually really end up with their one true love???? Dont get me wrong these people love the one's they are with, but way deep down inside there heart is somewhere else... Even if faithful to the spouse... Sad... IP: Logged
DepTaurus Knowflake Posts: 1521 From: canada Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 14, 2011 09:38 PM Nope it`s them that deny us. IP: Logged
Lonake Moderator Posts: 5853 From: U.S. Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 14, 2011 10:16 PM Hey, good deal, she has the best of both worlds. IP: Logged
NativelyJoan Knowflake Posts: 325 From: Boston, MA Registered: Sep 2011	posted November 14, 2011 10:17 PM It's all about timing. I'm pretty sure people deny it for reasons that may not be obvious to those not directly involved in their situation and also maybe even to each other. I think love is elusive, gray and indefinable, and I don't think modern society helps in illuminating the concept with its conventions, norms and false illusions. I had a similar past situation, however today I'm single and not married. It was a great love, and a transformational relationship. It lasted 11 years, and we met when we were very young. Speaking of Saturn we had Saturn rising in our composite chart. We actually reunited recently, which was pretty cool, scary but cool. I could never have truly loved this great love of mine hadn't I walked away from him and our relationship. When we were together I couldn't see him clearly, and I couldn't see myself but man did we love each other. The truth was I used to think he was the best part of me until I realized I was the best part of myself. I didn't need anyone to make me feel complete or even loved. Maybe it really is all just karmic and we are continuing on our journey and these improbable relationships are meant to awaken us and transform us but not bind us or destroy us. For a love so powerful we've got to be truly ready to accept it. Maybe they weren't or maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Somethings are just improbable. I think we'd all like to believe love can conquer all but maybe that means loving someone enough to find your own path. To discover your own truth, solo! IP: Logged
Lioness Knowflake Posts: 3527 From: Registered: Mar 2010	posted November 14, 2011 10:20 PM @NativelyJoan Thats nicely said, but sad at the same time... DO you ever think you will feel that type of "love" again? Do you feel like he was your one true love?? IP: Logged
NativelyJoan Knowflake Posts: 325 From: Boston, MA Registered: Sep 2011	posted November 14, 2011 10:50 PM quote: Originally posted by Lioness: @NativelyJoan Thats nicely said, but sad at the same time... DO you ever think you will feel that type of "love" again? Do you feel like he was your one true love?? Thanks. I know that I will feel that type of love again because I'm an eternal optimist when it comes to love (Sun in Libra, Venus in the 7th) and I'm very perceptive. I just "know." I think it initially came to me when I wasn't ready for a reason, because I still had much to learn. And every time I find myself yearning for something or someone I know I've still got ways to go. I consider myself having been tested with true, infinite love but not being in a place to fully understand its immensity or having the strength to accept it. That kind of love is terrifying and I don't think that changes as you grow, I think you evolve to a stage where you can actually accept it. It's hard to say if he was my one true love because I have no other great loves to compare it to. So as of today, looking back upon my life and experiences he was. He made me a believer! But I know there's something more profound and elusive down the road. I'm on a journey as are we all and I have no regrets about my decisions, sometimes I'd like to go back in time but for the most part I wouldn't because I'm really happy with whom I've become and who I am. I'd honestly ride this life out solo waiting to experience a love like the one I experienced with him, but I'd never go back to him. The difference is this time around I'll be at a stage where I can truthfully accept it. I don't even know if I believe in the idea of one true love, but there just are those people, who expose you to the unknown, allow you to discover something indefinable and powerful. They transform you in a sense or expose you to things that allow you to transform yourself. They help us evolve and maybe there is someone or something were evolving towards. I'd like to think that. BTW Lioness I love this topic. Great questions! IP: Logged
Lioness Knowflake Posts: 3527 From: Registered: Mar 2010	posted November 14, 2011 10:58 PM I dont doubt that one day you will love again... My question really is.... (not that you can really answer, because its unknown) Will the love really really be the same... You will always "love" this person.. but for your own reason, made a choice to not be with him.. Thats exactly what I see a lot... Its also what I did... You just dont choose the one your really LOVED... You end up with some one else (still love, but not the same) Maybe real love, is just way to scary for most of us, so we settle for our 2nd love... Which is true.. but not as scary... maybe it feels safer?? I agree we love more than one person.. But we love them differently... Its never the same love.... This is what I have been noticing. If that makes sense... IP: Logged
NativelyJoan Knowflake Posts: 325 From: Boston, MA Registered: Sep 2011	posted November 14, 2011 11:39 PM What your saying all makes sense. The thing is from my perspective love doesn't ever change. We as people change. Our mindset changes, how we see each other and the world changes but "love" can't change. You ask will it really be the same love, yes and better! Because you or I will have reached a stage where we can accept it honestly, purely and without conditions. I walked away from a great and true love but not for anyone else but myself. I needed to see me, and understand me and grow as a person. My soul yearned to engage with its essence, to see deep within my own reflection. To walk the path of true self acceptance and connect to my truth and identity. I have an Eight House Pluto and that might be where that all is coming from, as far as my evolution goes. I would never settle for anything less then true love. I'm just not capable. I've been single for YEARS intentionally. What I'm looking for doesn't just happen, and in a sense regardless of my efforts to find it, I know it has to find me first. My efforts at searching are useless because the gift arrives when we're ready to receive it. The reason I didn't choose the great love I experienced thus far in my life was because we were holding each other back. We were stagnating in evolution in a sense and I knew that. When I was with him time stood still and in love that's amazing but change is apart of life and we can't stand still. The cosmos have a way of ripping things apart when it feels like things are stagnating when they're meant to evolve. I had to walk away or Zeus would have struck us good. Me and him are still friends though, both single ironically but friends nonetheless. It's funny we are in search of the same thing just from different people. I actually know exactly what he is searching for and who's meant for him and I'm sure he feels the same about me. We just know. It's like cosmically I know his soul mate and he knows mine and we came together in this lifetime for preparation. Who knows . Lioness tell me about your great love? I'm intrigued and why did you each walk away? IP: Logged
RedScorp Knowflake Posts: 507 From: Ontario, Canada! Registered: Jul 2011	posted November 14, 2011 11:50 PM quote: Originally posted by Lioness: I agree we love more than one person.. But we love them differently... Its never the same love.... YES MA'AM! I have this one friend, Aries-friend, and we admitted we have mutual feelings. We aren't like, acting on them. We're just staying friends. But we agreed "we don't know what will happen in the future". 'Cause we have our own other interests we're more or less pursuing. IP: Logged
RedScorp Knowflake Posts: 507 From: Ontario, Canada! Registered: Jul 2011	posted November 14, 2011 11:52 PM quote: Originally posted by NativelyJoan: Lioness tell me about your great love? I'm intrigued and why did you each walk away? Yee, me too! I wanna hear a nice story, please. c: IP: Logged
Intense_Aquavixen Knowflake Posts: 122 From: Registered: Nov 2011	posted November 14, 2011 11:54 PM I'm in this predicament now. The most confusing, rollercoaster ride ever in my little lifetime. I'm just hoping someone NEW can shake this hold he has on me...but DEEP down I doubt it This feeling sucks! We try to move on from each other...never works so we're complacent with the trysts and nonsense we have going on. Any other guy? Good riddens and get the hell on...not this one though...[AND LET ME CLARIFY SOMETHING] Few years ago he lied to me, said he was single and focused on work and his children. Then I got a random call while at my job from some female. I was in complete shock. This time around I'm in an open relationship with someone, and have no clue if he's really single or not b/c he lied to me years back and I can't really believe him anymore. So in my mind, I have to own the fact that IF he is involved...apparently I don't care b/c I'm gonna use him as I please anyway. Being resigned to this pattern is crazy, but its amazing what love can do. Yes LOVE and not just lust! He and I as individuals have key components that just are meant to click us together in matrimony right now if ever... IP: Logged
NativelyJoan Knowflake Posts: 325 From: Boston, MA Registered: Sep 2011	posted November 15, 2011 12:30 AM quote: Originally posted by Lioness: Maybe real love, is just way to scary for most of us, so we settle for our 2nd love... Which is true.. but not as scary... maybe it feels safer?? I just wanted to add more in reference to this specific statement. I do believe that real love is very scary for us all but I think we settle for something else because we're not ready to allow true love to flow through us. Settling is safer. There's human nature working against us. It takes courage to face our fears, and why face our demons and accept a great love when we can settle for a relationship that doesn't require us to change, transform or evolve into something more. We settle because we can be ourselves, ego and all. But to change means sacrificing who we are to become something different. I think we sense what we stand to lose if we walk towards true love. It means our egos go down the toilet and we learn how to love and give unconditionally. We give up control and any intentions. Materialism, security, financial stability, status, career success, social prominence, fame any pursuit of something tangible goes right out the window. We're dispossessed to make room for something greater, to receive the ultimate gift. We choose because we're not meant to have both, and we settle because it's easier and safer and we get to stay as we are. Lioness what are you afraid of in love? What are you afraid to give up? Just curious... IP: Logged
Taineberry Knowflake Posts: 343 From: Registered: Jun 2011	posted November 15, 2011 12:44 AM Very well put, NJ ... I completely understand what you are saying. IP: Logged
Lioness Knowflake Posts: 3527 From: Registered: Mar 2010	posted November 15, 2011 12:48 AM My stories never have happy endings... IDK... 13 Years ago or so.. I was head over heals for a Gem... But I found out he had a GF and I turned and walked away... I didnt yell or anything... I just told him I knew and walked away.. He ended up breaking up with her, and wanted me back, but I said no... During the same time I had a virgo chasing the heck out of me... Gem kept calling me, asking me back, even though my heart wanted to.. I still said no.. I ended up marring virgo... But the whole time gem was in my heart, and I spent many years wondering why I did that.. Anyways I reunited with Gem, once I separated from my husband (12 years later) We tried but couldnt get those same feelings back.. To much hurt I guess... So now we are just friends... We still keep in contact.. Actually he lives 5 mins from me... Now I longer have the what if.. We got closure from each other... Now its hard to explain, but I feel like this same situation is hitting me again with someone else.. Only now Im gem.. payback????? lol Deep down inside I didnt go back to him, cuz I knew we wouldnt be able to make it work.. IDK why.. but I just knew... I was thinking if this other guy came to me and said he had feelings.. I would say I do to.. but you know we wouldnt be able to make it work.... I would walk away from it.. Even though thats not what my heart would want... Heres a link I did about Gem http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/206917.html What am I afraid of.... shrug... IDK... loosing myself.. being left. not being able to give the love back. IDK lots of things... IP: Logged
NativelyJoan Knowflake Posts: 325 From: Boston, MA Registered: Sep 2011	posted November 15, 2011 01:31 AM quote: Originally posted by Lioness: What am I afraid of.... shrug... IDK... loosing myself.. being left. not being able to give the love back. IDK lots of things... I guess our fears really do limit us and enslave us. Our fears stand in our way and we're only human. I think many people share your fears, they'd be lying if they said they didn't. What you fear in regards to love is natural for all of us. Maybe we'll all get to place where we'll no longer fear anything in regards to true love. We'll be fearless and free, and how awesome would that feel. I read your thread and this relationship sounded pretty intense and profound. It really took a hold of you. Thank you for sharing. It's a tough situation when someone you deeply love and who is on top of that your true love pulls a stunt like that. You took a chance on love and got betrayed. As unfortunate as this sounds maybe that was the lesson. You've sharpened your senses from that experience. You'll never be duped by false disguises, which means that experience truly transformed you. I think you're moving closer to an even truer love even though looking over the horizon it might not look that way. How can the cosmos drop gold into our hands twice right? But in your case there were lessons that needed to be learned. You both knew it and maybe that's why it was so hard to walk away from each other and to let go after so many years. I think a great love will find you again, maybe not in the way you expected it to but, it's waiting in the shadows. True love is elusive to us all and it always reminds me of that saying "lightning never strikes the same place twice," because it's such a Falsified statement...see link below http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/lightning-strikes-empire-state-building-times-row-video/story?id=13374451 Anything is possible. If it happens once it just ups the chances it could likely happen again. Plain and simple IP: Logged
RunAroundScreaming Knowflake Posts: 1406 From: USA Registered: Oct 2010	posted November 15, 2011 01:49 AM This is a very interesting thing, and I've often wondered the same thing. Sometimes knowing that you have the true love stellium with someone is more painful than helpful for me. It would've almost been better if I didn't know, so that I couldn't see all the potential we had. With people you have the composite love stellium with, it's like this: There�s some people that you look at, and you think. �My god, he knows.� He knows everything I go through. He knows how I feel. He�s felt it all before. He�s living in my shoes, because we are one in more ways than I can count. He has that facial expression, that speaks to you. That says, �Yeah, I get it. I see things in the same way you do.� And how can you hate someone, when you can see all their pain. So, the thing is not to hate. To say, �I am not good for you? I don�t make you happy? Fine, I love you, so I just want you to be happy and I can accept that I should stay away.� Let me give an example: I had a best friend in elementary who people used to tell us that we look alike. The love stellium makes people look alike and have similar expressions and behaviors, which is the basic reason for the deep affection they have for each other. It is like you found somebody who is extremely like yourself. To this day, we look so similar. She stopped being friends with me in 5th grade over my insecurity in the friendship, but sometimes it is very painful to know that we had the love stellium and we really were inseperable as best friends because it was meant to be that way. It wasn't just coincidence. There are lots of things in our synastry that show why we were inseperable, and probably why we look so much alike. But there are a few other people who I feel reflect my mannerisms as well who I have that love stellium with. IP: Logged
RunAroundScreaming Knowflake Posts: 1406 From: USA Registered: Oct 2010	posted November 15, 2011 11:20 AM Bumpity bump bump IP: Logged
Dreamy_AriesGirl Knowflake Posts: 142 From: Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 15, 2011 03:48 PM I think its not only fear that could separate two lovers from each other, but also karma. Many times, two very close soul mates intentionally choose to get/be separated from each other during a life on Earth... sometimes because they want to teach something to each other, or because they neeed to learn something without the other. Losing or being separated from a very close soulmate is one of the biggest pain to feel, but this very pain can motivate us to do things we would have never even thought about... at least thats my experience. IP: Logged
Betty Boop Knowflake Posts: 1834 From: Betty Boop Land Registered: Sep 2010	posted November 15, 2011 03:54 PM I think this "feelings from the past" thing is more like a strong sexual attraction that was never played out for long enough for the people to have enough of each other. I don't know if it is 'true love'. It happens often with people's first love. I was reading about it and it is very common statistically for people to try to contact their first love when they hit middle age. I think this is because the 'first love' is often seen as pure and perfect (problem free). They were saying in this article that with websites like Facebook, Twitter and Linkedin.. it's much easier to find people these days.. and that it can be dangerous to the person's current relationship/marriage. I know this doesn't apply to everyone. My first love story is not pleasant at all so I have zero feelings for him. But it seems a lot of people do reminisce about it. IP: Logged
BelligerentPygmy Knowflake Posts: 596 From: Registered: Sep 2011	posted November 15, 2011 04:26 PM quote: Originally posted by Lioness: Ive been noticing something lately.. Maybe its because of Saturn being in Libra and all relationships are being tested.. Ive noticed most people dont end up with the one they "really" love... Maybe its a fear or its fated to be starcrossed... Ive have friends that are happily married, but have feelings for a person from their past, that they never got over.. I have a friend, shes married but been having a 20 year fling.. Its not often, may be years apart, but every once in a while they met up... They talk a lot but rarely see each other... She says he is her love, but could never be with him... Then both of them separated from there spouse's.. but they both said they cant be with the other in a committing relationship. Im confused if they both love each other for 20 years.. Why not just be together??? Yet neither will. I know there alot of relationships out there like this.. Probably more, than people know about, as this is kept a secret and not shared with just anyone... Are most of us meant to have star crossed lovers??? The lucky few actually really end up with their one true love???? Dont get me wrong these people love the one's they are with, but way deep down inside there heart is somewhere else... Even if faithful to the spouse... Sad... I've wondered about this type of thing in the past and had different views on it then, but how I feel about it right now is this : that, if you don't end up together, it's because you weren't supposed to and they aren't your true love. Like the cliched saying, that if it's the right person, you won't break up in the first place; or that if you broke up, it was for a reason and should stay over and done. IP: Logged
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 21916 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010	posted November 15, 2011 04:32 PM No, you silly goose. STOP denying your love ------------------ Want a peek in to my journal? http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/ IP: Logged
polysigh Knowflake Posts: 86 From: Chicago, USA Registered: May 2011	posted November 15, 2011 07:26 PM I was just thinking about this today! I just started seeing someone new but the one I fell in love with at first sight, the one I felt true happiness with in every fiber of my being...I still think about him all the time. Took a very long time to get over him but don't think I will ever forget him. there were so many things left unsaid etc. I almost don't want to try with someone else because I can't possibly imagine that I will ever love another person as I did the one that got away. I am so conflicted but I simply cannot bring myself to tell him my feelings. just this inner turmoil because my heart tells me it's not over even though for all intents and purposes it is. So I know I have to move on and try to be happy with someone else but the thought of it is just torturous. I am soooooo afraid that this will haunt me forever. I would bet this is the case for a lot of people. So yeah, I think we do deny our true love. My reason? fear... plain and simple. IP: Logged
polysigh Knowflake Posts: 86 From: Chicago, USA Registered: May 2011	posted November 15, 2011 07:31 PM quote: Originally posted by NativelyJoan: Thanks. I know that I will feel that type of love again because I'm an eternal optimist when it comes to love (Sun in Libra, Venus in the 7th) and I'm very perceptive. I just "know." I think it initially came to me when I wasn't ready for a reason, because I still had much to learn. And every time I find myself yearning for something or someone I know I've still got ways to go. I consider myself having been tested with true, infinite love but not being in a place to fully understand its immensity or having the strength to accept it. That kind of love is terrifying and I don't think that changes as you grow, I think you evolve to a stage where you can actually accept it. It's hard to say if he was my one true love because I have no other great loves to compare it to. So as of today, looking back upon my life and experiences he was. He made me a believer! But I know there's something more profound and elusive down the road. I'm on a journey as are we all and I have no regrets about my decisions, sometimes I'd like to go back in time but for the most part I wouldn't because I'm really happy with whom I've become and who I am. I'd honestly ride this life out solo waiting to experience a love like the one I experienced with him, but I'd never go back to him. The difference is this time around I'll be at a stage where I can truthfully accept it. I don't even know if I believe in the idea of one true love, but there just are those people, who expose you to the unknown, allow you to discover something indefinable and powerful. They transform you in a sense or expose you to things that allow you to transform yourself. They help us evolve and maybe there is someone or something were evolving towards. I'd like to think that. BTW Lioness I love this topic. Great questions! So beautifully put!! IP: Logged
Lioness Knowflake Posts: 3527 From: Registered: Mar 2010	posted November 15, 2011 08:18 PM Sorry everyone.. Just now got a chance to sign on... Ahhh Thanks everyone for the great replies @ NativelyJoan Dont worry, Im sooooo over Gem now, since we had our closure... But funny I had to make a choice with him and a Virgo... Even though my heart was with Gem.. I choose virgo... I guess it was meant to be considering my Dsc is in Virgo... It was just safer and more realistic for me.. Yes I loved and cared for Virgo.. but it wasnt as deep.. It was a safe love.. Which is why Im saying in reality we deny or get denied from the one we really want with our heart and soul... @RunAroundScreaming Whats a love Stellium? Me and Gem looked nothing alike... We still talk, well Im mad at him right now, so when ever he texts me.. I only reply with ok... lol @ Dreamy_AriesGirl Yes I totally agree... Karma Karma Karma... @ Betty Boop Yes what you said makes sense.. I think having the closure, can help people move on.. Women especially need closure. @ BelligerentPygmy I say set him free, if he doesnt come back it was never meant to be. @ polysigh Thats what happen to me... It took me 13 years.... Until I got the closure. IP: Logged

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