posted November 15, 2011 06:17 PM            

but to them, they're just being 'realistic', so good luck with it!

don't think you should say much but just find a way to wither away..

i guess it'd be a good thing that she has capricorn moon because she wouldn't really care if u did, i don't think.. --oh, sry.. i mean, she'd just look at it from an honest ( ) point of view and shrug her shoulders to say: 'whatevz'

the girl's a scorpio; tread softly.

i don't think there's a 'halfway'; being acquaintances are not ok, no matter what they say.

posted November 15, 2011 06:35 PM            

If she doesn't take well to being confronted, there is always the option of insisting on meeting in environments or under circumstances which help her expend that plutonian energy (Pluto is currently in Cap so is probably adding some pressure to her emotions).

If you can take her dancing, or tell her you are on a healthy kick and meet for a jog/walk. Take her someplace interesting so her energy is directed outward instead of spinning inward. At first she may continue to complain, but continual moments of outward attention or physical activity, should eventually exhaust that energy.

posted November 15, 2011 06:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tuxedoMask:
chalk it up to her capricorn moon...

but to them, they're just being 'realistic', so good luck with it!

don't think you should say much but just find a way to wither away..

i guess it'd be a good thing that she has capricorn moon because she wouldn't really care if u did, i don't think.. --oh, sry.. i mean, she'd just look at it from an honest ( ) point of view and shrug her shoulders to say: 'whatevz'

the girl's a scorpio; tread softly.

i don't think there's a 'halfway'; being acquaintances are not ok, no matter what they say.

i think that with anything in scorpio, you're either in, or out.. but once you're 'out', there is no back 'in' and you will not be treated as you once were when you were 'in'.

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Well, we've fought once before and didn't speak for a month but once I had a chance to explain why I was upset, things were a little better. Icy, but a little better. Over time she warmed up again and MONTHS later she finally admitted "Yeah, I see why it was my fault now." She has Sun and Moon in the 12th and sometimes I get really frustrated how she believes she's innocent all the time. We're more like sisters really.

posted November 15, 2011 06:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Xiiro:
Is it possible to help her direct that energy outward as a form of self improvement/discovery?

If she doesn't take well to being confronted, there is always the option of insisting on meeting in environments or under circumstances which help her expend that plutonian energy (Pluto is currently in Cap so is probably adding some pressure to her emotions).

If you can take her dancing, or tell her you are on a healthy kick and meet for a jog/walk. Take her someplace interesting so her energy is directed outward instead of spinning inward. At first she may continue to complain, but continual moments of outward attention or physical activity, should eventually exhaust that energy.

You can also say to her, "You have always been such a loyal and caring friend. You seem to be having some hard times right now with all this negative talk, what is really going on and how can I help you feel better?" That Capricorn moon needs a clear path leading to healthy emotional expression, otherwise it will just continue engaging in the same emotional habits, because they seem to work.

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ME: Are you home yet?
Her: No I ran to school to talk to an advisor but that will prolly never happen, idk what the f i'm going to do or take.
Me: Oh I tried seeing her today too, you have to make an appointment with Lisa.
Her: Yeah I did, I'm pretty much screwed by that time.
Me: It's not that bad. You could take this and this to at least get it out of the way.
Her: Changes subject.

She comes in later before class, and says "Yeah, but"... ugh. ALL my suggestions are met with either a blank and lifeless stare some place else, or a "Yeah, but" and I'm throwing my hands up 'cause the only way I know how to help is suggestions. I think at 24 you should be able to shrug off or at least be used to schedule conflicts (which seem to upset her so deeply)

posted November 15, 2011 07:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannarama:
ME: Are you home yet?
Her: No I ran to school to talk to an advisor but that will prolly never happen, idk what the f i'm going to do or take.
Me: Oh I tried seeing her today too, you have to make an appointment with Lisa.
Her: Yeah I did, I'm pretty much screwed by that time.
Me: It's not that bad. You could take this and this to at least get it out of the way.
Her: Changes subject.

She comes in later before class, and says "Yeah, but"... ugh. ALL my suggestions are met with either a blank and lifeless stare some place else, or a "Yeah, but" and I'm throwing my hands up 'cause the only way I know how to help is suggestions. I think at 24 you should be able to shrug off or at least be used to schedule conflicts (which seem to upset her so deeply)

I don't know. I'm not much better complaining here vs. finding a way to tell her directly.

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In that case, it's probably best you just accept she is a person who enjoys negativity. The decision ultimately has to be hers to change, all you can do is create a space for her where she feels comfortable making that change.

Is it possible she complains often because she doesn't feel heard? Do you always offer advise because you 1)genuinely want to help and 2)kinda wish she would shut up? If so, it sounds more like a power struggle between a person who just wants to vent but feels capable of finding the answers on her own and a person who just wants to help, but doesn't want to be weighed down by the other person's negative energy. Moon in Cap (especially in emotionally charged people) doesn't really want people giving them practical advise, as many can feel practical most of the time and seek to emotionally unwind in "appropriate" places (e.g. with trusted friends).

posted November 15, 2011 07:10 PM            

then one has to get themselves in gear because it isn't your job to change her, it bothers or at least annoys you and that's ok; u gotta decide whether that's working for you, though..

look at your life and see if by the end of the day, you end up feeling better and empowered and can empower her, in turn, or if you're just with each other out of duty or clinging to the familiar?

i don't think the latter really results in any type of growth for either people but that is my own personal view on it, yours may be different.

transit wise, her moon is caught between uranus, pluto and saturn as they're toughing it out in the cardinals and guess what? none of those are going to be moving on from the aspects that they're in anytime too soon...

grant her her respect if you decide to stop being friends and respect her dignity as well (because it hasn't been said whether or not she's been loyal to you or a faulty friend) so whatever decision you make, make it and stick with it and make some changes of your own because it sounds like it might maybe be an unhealthy relationship where you might each be playing each others crutch...

it kinda smells of neptune.

yeah, she's depressed, courtesy of saturn squaring her moon... yeah, she'll feel isolated courtesy of the same transit.

she'll be dealing with odd stuff and on/off relationships courtesy of the uranus transit.. saturn is moving through her eleventh house and well, if you decide to part ways, it is sometimes associated with the transit.. maybe her realizing that u won't encourage or enable her behaviour in itself might be more beneficial than you sticking around just because; encouraging her to change for her own better, not for yours.

she'll have a saturn transit through her twelfth after it finishes up in libra, her eleventh(depending on her early or late the cusp starts in) and even then, i don't know if you're familiar, but it is the twelfth house... you'd do well to read up on the transit to figure out what's in store for her and whether you'd be up for it or not.. a big clue as yo whether or not you are/will be are the transits of your own!

posted November 15, 2011 07:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Xiiro:
In that case, it's probably best you just accept she is a person who enjoys negativity. The decision ultimately has to be hers to change, all you can do is create a space for her where she feels comfortable making that change.

Is it possible she complains often because she doesn't feel heard? Do you always offer advise because you 1)genuinely want to help and 2)kinda wish she would shut up? If so, it sounds more like a power struggle between a person who just wants to vent but feels capable of finding the answers on her own and a person who just wants to help, but doesn't want to be weighed down by the other person's negative energy. Moon in Cap (especially in emotionally charged people) doesn't really want people giving them practical advise, as many can feel practical most of the time and seek to emotionally unwind in "appropriate" places (e.g. with trusted friends).

What do you have going on with Virgo or Libra, 6th/7th house, or Ceres/Eris hanna? Finding out both your Ceres could also help in discovering the right approach to both your situations.

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Yeah, I don't think she enjoys negativity but I notice her mom uses HER as a venting system and so I decided it was a learned behavior. I figured that she was unwinding as much, but when I unwind I try to make it light

Nothing going on in the 6th house, I have Saturn, Uranus and Neptune all in Capricorn in the 7th ruled by Sag. Ceres is in Aries in the 11th sandwiched between my Sun, Merc, Moon, and Venus.

posted November 15, 2011 08:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RedScorp:
Seriously! If I know my Scorpios, just sit 'er down one day and be firm about it! I think it would help if she realized what she was doing, this...eroding of relationships.

If ya tell her about it, she'll probably just shrug it off, not believe you.

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posted November 15, 2011 08:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Xiiro:
Is it possible to help her direct that energy outward as a form of self improvement/discovery?

---

THIS. I'm a Scorp Sun with Cap Moon and Cap Ascendant, this is the only thing that will channel the pessimism. I think it may also depend on her aspects as well, I have moon conjunct neptune and conjunct the ascendant in the first house, so it may lessen the pessimism. But i think you have to have her focus on her own development and make it apparent that the constant pessimism is NOT good for her growth as a human being, if anything it's a regression of her spirit to move forward.

posted November 15, 2011 09:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Nothingbutaname:

THIS. I'm a Scorp Sun with Cap Moon and Cap Ascendant, this is the only thing that will channel the pessimism. I think it may also depend on her aspects as well, I have moon conjunct neptune and conjunct the ascendant in the first house, so it may lessen the pessimism. But i think you have to have her focus on her own development and make it apparent that the constant pessimism is NOT good for her growth as a human being, if anything it's a regression of her spirit to move forward.

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Okay, I'll put more effort into this. So what other things could we do if we can't walk? She works full-time and has school, I have school full-time and work part-time. Of course we can find time to walk, but I'm looking for other outlets. I suppose I've put off bringing this up 'cause it WILL change the dynamics of our friendship if she gets out of her funk. It's not that I don't want her to be happy at all, I just think we came together to commiserate and I suddenly woke up and thought 'I don't want to' anymore and am scared she won't do the same.

posted November 15, 2011 09:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannarama:
Okay, I'll put more effort into this. So what other things could we do if we can't walk? She works full-time and has school, I have school full-time and work part-time. Of course we can find time to walk, but I'm looking for other outlets. I suppose I've put off bringing this up 'cause it WILL change the dynamics of our friendship if she gets out of her funk. It's not that I don't want her to be happy at all, I just think we came together to commiserate and I suddenly woke up and thought 'I don't want to' anymore and am scared she won't do the same.

Anyway, from what I remember about her chart she has Sun and Moon in the 12th, and moon conj. neptune too.

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which more than likely means you have your neptune conjunct her moon, too... i'd say u leave it be/ neptune & moon can create really unhealthy relationships.

posted November 15, 2011 09:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannarama:
That's so true (about Scorpios) - you don't believe anything unless it's loud and passionate, do you?

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posted November 15, 2011 10:23 PM            

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I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate?