posted November 15, 2011 08:39 PM            

So, we were watching a film biopic about Sadam Husseins son, and there were several rape scenes. I "dissociated" as my therapist tells me, that I "shut down" when any graphic sexual content is on air relating to abuse of some sort. My boyfriend after maybe the 6th rape scene noticed my stiffness and how quiet I got. He kept asking if I was okay, I wasn't sure if i was but then answered, "Yup. Fine." I wasn't sure if I was okay or not because I a "dissociated" due to the triggers I was receiving watching the movie. And than he pauses it, looks at me and asks "So, babe why do you see a shrink?" - I do not see a shrink. I see a counselor/therapist.. - I said "Long story", I didnt expec him to ever ask me this, and I did not want him to anyway. He said "Babe seriously. Why do you see one? is there something going on? Something serious? You can't sleep? Were you abused more? What is it? I want to know about you and your past you don't let me in, and how long have you been going?" I said "2 years. I don't know what to tell you." Clearly I was bothered by these questions since I tried to leave the room, and than he said "What do you mean? What's going on? I tell you everything I'm letting you in, I tell you about me. Why don't you? Or not enough?" I said "I know. I want to. it takes time. It was very traumatic, I don't want to talk about it." he said "Tell me one thing, anything, to why you see a shrink. It can be anything, I won't judge you." I said "It was traumatic, I have to see one to get better." he Said "why do you need to get better? What happened to you other than what you told me? What happened? When?" I said "Childhood. Trauma happened, I don't wanna talk right now." And then he says "So you don't want to talk to me? You don't want to open up to me about your past or your childhood? But you would rather talk to a shrink about t and not your own boyfriend? I tell you my trauma, but why won't you? Im not going to judge you I just care and want to understand you but I can't cause you prefer to tell some stranger about your life and not me. I think you shouldn't see this shrink."

So what's he more upset over?
1. His bruised ego and he perceives me rejecting him when it's not a rejection at all?
2. Feels insecure that I cant open up like he can?

posted November 16, 2011 02:51 AM            

I personally love to help people with personal problems. Not because I'm nosey, but because it makes me feel trusted, closer to that person, and I feel I will be able to help them in someway.
In your boyfriends shoes I would probably feel a little hurt by you not telling me. BUT from an outsiders point of view, I totally understand where you are coming from.