posted November 18, 2011 11:18 PM            

I'm just curious if anything in my chart would indicate lack of self assertion? This is the biggest thing I am really trying to improve on but it is so very difficult as I was never taught to be assertive I was taught my feelings were insignificant and unimportant and that I am basically a tool that anyone can pick up and use. So it is rather difficult.. I'm just fed up

here's my chart. can someone please give me advice this is a very difficult part of my life

posted November 19, 2011 12:15 AM            

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Originally posted by hannarama:
Saturn is conjunct your ASC, but Saturn wouldn't take advantage of you in a selfish way. Moreso (as it was explained to me) Saturn wants to restrict you, control you so that you do the right and proper thing all the time.

Your Moon is semi-square Neptune and Venus is sextile Neptune with both Moon and Venus already being Pisces. I'm not great at reading aspects yet but I BET that has something to do with it. I'm pretty sure your natural objectiveness blurs when you start liking someone (sextiles are easily activiated)

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When you say it blurs, do you mean i begin to lose sense of objectivity? I easily become i guess subjective, in other words.. a lesser form of irrationality?

posted November 19, 2011 12:17 AM            

Info on retrograde mars:
If you have Mars in retrograde in your natal chart, you may find that you are waging an internal battle causing you difficulty in asserting yourself because you are afraid of the consequences of releasing your anger. You may tend to over think before you act. You may find that you have a tendency to hold back. In karmic terms, you are likely to be attempting to make up for some vaguely recollected but deeply influential past misdeeds you now regret. Whatever the cause, you are holding yourself back instead of standing up directly for your own interests. This works directly against the life lesson that you are here to accomplish. You are learning about yourself, defining who you are by what actions you take. You will need to let go of timidity or a lack of direction in order work out how you can initiate actions without creating the chaos of needless destruction.

Info on Mars in Cancer:
Mars in Cancer can be passive-aggressive. They don't care for change or direct confrontations. They prefer to feel secure before they act on something. They would rather be well prepared. They are tenacious, and strong despite their appearance.

Indifference hurts them more than anything else. Mars in Cancer can be manipulative and argumentative. Emotional displays will occur if they feel threatened. They can be over-sensitive, but when they are confident, they are helpful, dependable and protective of those they love. They prefer peaceful solutions. They are not very assertive or demanding, and prefer to work on their own where they are in control. Cancer Mars may change direction or even their goals in order to pursue security. They are loyal and devoted.

Mars in Cancer is passionate and creative. They are in tune with their own wants and desires, and they are sensitive to the needs of those around them. They have a good memory, and they are dedicated enough to see things through to the end. They have a great imagination that serves them well when it is not imagining terrible scenarios that hurt their feelings of security.

posted November 19, 2011 12:24 AM            

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Originally posted by amowls**:
Retrograde Mars in Cancer is a classic indicator. Mars is your drive. It's fall in Cancer.

Info on retrograde mars:
If you have Mars in retrograde in your natal chart, you may find that you are waging an internal battle causing you difficulty in asserting yourself because you are afraid of the consequences of releasing your anger. You may tend to over think before you act. You may find that you have a tendency to hold back. In karmic terms, you are likely to be attempting to make up for some vaguely recollected but deeply influential past misdeeds you now regret. Whatever the cause, you are holding yourself back instead of standing up directly for your own interests. This works directly against the life lesson that you are here to accomplish. You are learning about yourself, defining who you are by what actions you take. You will need to let go of timidity or a lack of direction in order work out how you can initiate actions without creating the chaos of needless destruction.

Info on Mars in Cancer:
Mars in Cancer can be passive-aggressive. They don't care for change or direct confrontations. They prefer to feel secure before they act on something. They would rather be well prepared. They are tenacious, and strong despite their appearance.

Indifference hurts them more than anything else. Mars in Cancer can be manipulative and argumentative. Emotional displays will occur if they feel threatened. They can be over-sensitive, but when they are confident, they are helpful, dependable and protective of those they love. They prefer peaceful solutions. They are not very assertive or demanding, and prefer to work on their own where they are in control. Cancer Mars may change direction or even their goals in order to pursue security. They are loyal and devoted.

Mars in Cancer is passionate and creative. They are in tune with their own wants and desires, and they are sensitive to the needs of those around them. They have a good memory, and they are dedicated enough to see things through to the end. They have a great imagination that serves them well when it is not imagining terrible scenarios that hurt their feelings of security.

They may be moody, but this is because their emotions are so intense. This intensity may affect their digestion or cause anger deep within them. They try to suppress it, only to suffer physically because of it. It can be difficult for Cancer Mars to be objective, and they tend to make decisions based on their mood at that moment, which they may regret later.

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posted November 19, 2011 12:31 AM            

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
When you say it blurs, do you mean i begin to lose sense of objectivity? I easily become i guess subjective, in other words.. a lesser form of irrationality?

I always read upon squares conjunctions and oppositions i am confused about semi-sqaures and sextiles.....

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I see Semis and Sextiles as more middlemen after conjunctions and before trines (respectively)

posted November 19, 2011 12:38 AM            

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Originally posted by amelia28:
I don't even know you and I care about your feelings and well being....I can tell you have a good heart, some people unfortunately wont appreciate this but there will be some that do so focus on the ones that do.

I think is a Pisces thing, Pisces is sensitive and gives and can feel under appreciated and then acts or tries to be all tough and intellectual as a reaction to feeling unappreciated in order to protect self. Do you feel you do this?

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All of this makes me deeply resentful bitter even, I become more selfish, more.. restrictive in terms of my personality much more than Saturn already allows. I become 'stingy', having a difficult time 'opening up'. Thats the Aquarius side of me.

posted November 19, 2011 12:41 AM            

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Originally posted by hannarama:
I see Semis and Sextiles as more middlemen after conjunctions and before trines (respectively)

And you may lose your sense of objectivity but more like you have a harder time seeing the person for what they are. You know if the person was doing the same thing to your friend that they did to you, you'd easily be able to recognize it and say "Uh-uh, no way." because it wasn't happening to you, but when you're directly involved it's probably more romantic to you to see them as this glamorized version of themselves so that their wrong-doings don't seem as harsh, or provoke such ultimatums.

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posted November 19, 2011 01:00 AM            

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:

Its truly a battle of wills, my Aquarius side doesn't want to get personal with others. But then my Pisces side kicks in, feels guilty, gets personalized with others, gives, gives, gives and gives, with the whole "ah who cars, self-sacrifice, I will do whatever makes YOU happy anything YOU need and want I will give to you" and naturally in that stage the thought of my ego (my self) doesn't make an appearance, because in that moment of Pisces, I truly am being self-sacrificing, other people come before me. Always, always and always. But then I get nothing in return. nothing. I am always left feeling robbed, and than the feelings of inadequacy everything I was told in childhood is reinforced, so as a defense mechanism is shut myself in and avoid people for 'x' amount of time. And than Aquarius kicks in, gets impersonal and cold with everyone. And than Pisces feels bad, absorbs peoples emotions even though I truly dont want to, and than I go off wanting to make everyone happy. In that moment 'me' isn't there, i am entirely focused on making everyone else happy. I have always been that way, 'me' isn't important, everyone else is. So I do things to accommodate them, do things to make them happy, anything, but then i begin to lose myself and when I lose myself I have to 'retreat' to do some introspection. Its a daunting thing to go through. Thats why it feels like a battle of wills, Aquarius vs Pisces. Impersonal vs Personal.

All of this makes me deeply resentful bitter even, I become more selfish, more.. restrictive in terms of my personality much more than Saturn already allows. I become 'stingy', having a difficult time 'opening up'. Thats the Aquarius side of me.

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You have just described an aquarian with pisces influence EXTREMELY well...my guy friend who is an aqua with ascendent conjunct Neptune sounds very similar to you! Very!

"I truly am being self-sacrificing, other people come before me. Always, always and always. But then I get nothing in return. nothing. I am always left feeling robbed, and than the feelings of inadequacy everything I was told in childhood is reinforced, so as a defense mechanism is shut myself in and avoid people for 'x' amount of time."--You

I completely can relate to this....I avoid people. I use to be a lot more social but feeling robbed has resulted in me over the years avoiding people and just hanging out at home and doing my own thing and keeping the social side of me to a select few.

I am personally working on not becoming isolated as a result of protecting self in order to avoid feeling robbed. I m trying to find a balance in this sense too and its tricky.

posted November 19, 2011 01:00 AM            

I have a awesome book to recommend to you by David Pond. It is called Astrology and Relationships.

Take charge of yourself and be who you are. Create safe boundaries with others and know you limits. It's okay to be selfish and care for oneself but don't give into self pity or fall into the victim feelings - as SOME Pisces influences can get into.

Never be afraid to speak your truth to others and stand your ground too!

YOUR FEELINGS DO MATTER! and your feelings are important and don't allow another to make you think and feel different. (I have had to learn this lesson.) Thing is if you treat yourself as though your feelings don't matter then others won't respect them either.

All the psychological scars from your youth will take a while to heal BUT you will make it through. (I went for therapy for several years to undo the trauma from my life).

posted November 19, 2011 01:01 AM            

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
Is it Pisces influence or Saturn on my ascendant?

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posted November 19, 2011 01:07 AM            

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Originally posted by amelia28:
--error

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The isolation it feels so rewarding and lovely doesn't it
But then you feel as if something is missing?

I completely agree with you. But i feel as if self-sacrificing, the concept of this within me will never fade. At the same time, i a can appear to be very impersonal, sometimes to a fault.. but i truly do care. More than anyone can know. So I give and give, and give, as to me it is the only way to show I care. Its strange the contradiction comes into play,

"I do not care for/about you/others"
5 minutes later
"I care, I won't verbalize it, but you wait here I will do x y and z to make YOU happy, make YOU comfortable"
"But I still don't care about you"

Does that make sense? Of course it doesn't! Contradiction all the time. I've grown fearful of verbalizing care for others for this exact reason - being taken advantage of. And for awhile the selfishness works, but Pisces wants to give, Aquarius does not. I do not feel "whole" if I am not giving something, if I am not sacrificing some part of myself for another person. I deeply dislike this side of me but it is true.

posted November 19, 2011 01:12 AM            

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Originally posted by Cynnared:
Venus in Pisces sometimes gets treated like a doormat. That deeply and unconditionally care for others and gets hurt often. I am the owner of a Venus in Pisces and have been the proverbial doormat. (My Venus is EXACTLY conj your moon in Pisces).

I have a awesome book to recommend to you by David Pond. It is called Astrology and Relationships.

Take charge of yourself and be who you are. Create safe boundaries with others and know you limits. It's okay to be selfish and care for oneself but don't give into self pity or fall into the victim feelings - as SOME Pisces influences can get into.

Never be afraid to speak your truth to others and stand your ground too!

YOUR FEELINGS DO MATTER! and your feelings are important and don't allow another to make you think and feel different. (I have had to learn this lesson.) Thing is if you treat yourself as though your feelings don't matter then others won't respect them either.

All the psychological scars from your youth will take a while to heal BUT you will make it through. (I went for therapy for several years to undo the trauma from my life).

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posted November 19, 2011 01:16 AM            

"I do not feel "whole" if I am not giving something, if I am not sacrificing some part of myself for another person. I deeply dislike this side of me but it is true."--You

I know how you feel is like a compulsive need to give and even if person is not giving back as much the need to give is compulsive and almost automatic.