posted November 22, 2011 01:15 PM            

So come christmas time, generally when my family cleans out their closets of late seasons to give back to the homeless, I am the only one in the house that doesn't contribute. It hurts my pride, i experience some kind of pain in my core if that makes sense. Last christmas I *tried* to give back this expensive watch that I didn't need anymore. I did give it away, only to sneak back into the rut and take it back before they actually sent it away. This is common, I attempt to give back and change my mind very quickly ending up not giving back at all..Everyone knows I am a stingy person, I try to change but it is hard. I do not experience pleasant feelings when giving back to others. I do think giving money to others makes absolutely no sense and I am the last person you will see donating to charities. Even in High school, our private school would band up and offer to buy all kinds of things for the homeless and the only thing I could do was wrap gifts that was my way of giving back.

Idk my father was stingy maybe he passed it on to me. But I really want to change. is there anything in my chart that directs to my extreme stinginess? Are there any good aspects that would hint to changing my stinginess? This year will be the very first year I will *give back* to someone I am buying a nice gift for my boyfriend.

posted November 22, 2011 01:49 PM            

Saturn in fixed sign: not freely giving in terms of whichever element it's in. This is what I've read elsewhere. These folks don't give without wanting return.

House where Jupiter resides: who/what your generosity will be directed to or where you will receive it*, if Jupiter is in a comfortable sign (e.g. Pisces, Leo)

* I think whether it's direct or retrograde makes a difference. My observations:

Direct Jupiter in 4th House: Generosity from mom
Direct Jupiter in 10th House: Generosity from dad
Retrograde Jupiter in 11th: Altruistic generosity (give generously to beggars because they're fellow humans in need)

posted November 22, 2011 02:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
I have Jupiter in libra house 8
and Saturn in Aquarius in house 1
you are right about giving to expect something in return
I never give freely EVER unless there is something to be had, and it must be a fact that I will be getting something in return in order for me to give. I don't do well with others telling me to give back either...

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posted November 22, 2011 02:28 PM            

You sound *exactly* like my Cap mother. You can't pry a penny out of her hand. She wouldn't give a nickel, even if it would save someone from starving. She hoards stuff like a crazy person. Every closet is overflowing with pure *junk*, which she will absolutely NOT give away at all.

What's worse, is that if a sales clerk makes a mistake, and gives her too much change back, or accidentally doesn't ring up an item, my mother won't say a word. She sneaks out of the store, then acts real happy for the rest of the day. For someone who has worked in retail sales for WAY too many years, I find that disgusting.

posted November 22, 2011 02:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by CosmicKarma360:
Fixed signs maybe have something to do with it?

You sound *exactly* like my Cap mother. You can't pry a penny out of her hand. She wouldn't give a nickel, even if it would save someone from starving. She hoards stuff like a crazy person. Every closet is overflowing with pure *junk*, which she will absolutely NOT give away at all.

What's worse, is that if a sales clerk makes a mistake, and gives her too much change back, or accidentally doesn't ring up an item, my mother won't say a word. She sneaks out of the store, then acts real happy for the rest of the day. For someone who has worked in retail sales for WAY too many years, I find that disgusting.

Anyway, she has Saturn in Scorpio. Sun in Cap. Cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap cheap!!!

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LOL

I keep saying that cap is frugal but that is bc I always like to make things sound nicer lol, its my way of been diplomatic but yesssss caps have difficulty letting go of material things. Everytime I try to give away clothe mom tries to convince me to keep the clothe LOL.

My mom is a cap and she is stingy she happens to be generous with less fortunate people bc of her jupiter in pisces and mars in aqua but I am 28 and the gifts she has given me all my life are pretty cheap although I value them bc I know she gives them with lots of love.

posted November 22, 2011 03:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:
LOL

I keep saying that cap is frugal but that is bc I always like to make things sound nicer lol, its my way of been diplomatic but yesssss caps have difficulty letting go of material things. Everytime I try to give away clothe mom tries to convince me to keep the clothe LOL.

My mom is a cap and she is stingy she happens to be generous with less fortunate people bc of her jupiter in pisces and mars in aqua but I am 28 and the gifts she has given me all my life are pretty cheap although I value them bc I know she gives them with lots of love.

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You're lucky, then. My mother gave me pretty much cheap junk my whole childhood. Always wore the cheapest, polyester-only clothes. Man, was I made fun of. Actually, growing up, I thought we were really poor! I didn't complain, because I thought we were really badly off. If anyone asked or said something about all the cheap stuff I had, I would explain that we didn't have any money. Turns out, my parents were doing better than some of my friends! Anyway, it's not quite so bad now, and actually, I do have good money habits because of it. However, both parents went a bit *too* far when I was a kid. It was hard to be made fun of by the other kids, and be known as the kid with the cheapest birthday gifts.

There is only one give my mother gave me as a kid that I still keep and like, but that's it.

posted November 22, 2011 04:34 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by CosmicKarma360:
Fixed signs maybe have something to do with it?

You sound *exactly* like my Cap mother. You can't pry a penny out of her hand. She wouldn't give a nickel, even if it would save someone from starving. She hoards stuff like a crazy person. Every closet is overflowing with pure *junk*, which she will absolutely NOT give away at all.

What's worse, is that if a sales clerk makes a mistake, and gives her too much change back, or accidentally doesn't ring up an item, my mother won't say a word. She sneaks out of the store, then acts real happy for the rest of the day. For someone who has worked in retail sales for WAY too many years, I find that disgusting.

Anyway, she has Saturn in Scorpio. Sun in Cap. Cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap cheap!!!

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LOLLll!! Wow I'm the same way!
I purchased something worth $200 and the lady gave me $200 back + change LOL!! I ran out the store and didn't say anything. This has happened a lot and I never say "you gave me too much change" I say "Wow. Thanks!" LOl

I'm like your mother too. Couldn't give a nickel to save a life unless I found the nickel on the floor if it is someone else's money than sure why not I'll give you money! as long as it doesn't come from me directly. I Try so hard to get into the mood of giving and its just like "Dear god no. walk away right now."

I don't keep junk around though definately not a hoarder. Thing is I expect expensive gifts but I'm the last to give anyone anything expensive unless there is an ulterior motive behind it. I don't give away birthday gifts, NOTHIng! not even a card... im very cheap

posted November 22, 2011 06:50 PM            

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
LOLLll!! Wow I'm the same way!

I'm still young so I can imprI've right?

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Oh, for your sake I hope so!! PLEASE, if you have kids, PLEASE don't subject them to your behavior. You can live any way you want, and if it works for you, then go ahead. Knock yourself out. Please though, don't put your kids through the kinds of things I faced. Give a little extra to them every now and again.

At least you recognize that it's a bit of an *issue*. My mother thinks everyone else is wrong, and that they're silly and too freewheeling. She sucks ALL the joy out of life.

posted November 22, 2011 06:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by CosmicKarma360:
Oh, for your sake I hope so!! PLEASE, if you have kids, PLEASE don't subject them to your behavior. You can live any way you want, and if it works for you, then go ahead. Knock yourself out. Please though, don't put your kids through the kinds of things I faced. Give a little extra to them every now and again.

At least you recognize that it's a bit of an *issue*. My mother thinks everyone else is wrong, and that they're silly and too freewheeling. She sucks ALL the joy out of life.

What is it do you think that makes you act like that? For the life of me, I can't figure out how it is my mother thinks that way. Hey, nothing wrong with finding a deal here and there, but being "pennywise and pound foolish" really doesn't gain you that much more money. Why do you think it is that you don't want to give?

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I hope by the time I might have children, I will be at a level where I won't feel awful when it comes to sharing/lending. This is why I have to marry a giving person LOL!

what makes me this way? Control. I'm a big controller.
I like to control things.. not people, but things!
I assume Saturn in first house being in Aquarius conjuncting my sun and mercury and Ascendant = restriction. I dont like sharing at all! Its all about order and control. If I can withhold material things from people and keep it to myself I feel secure. To lose any of it without my knowledge and without anything to replace it, I crumble. I assume Saturn (capricorn natural ruler) does this. I personally don't like to share it hurts my ego.. literally I don't experience happiness and pleasant feelings when I see the look on someone's face, that they are happy because they have food to now eat, I think "ugh. I'm going to regret this. my money could have been spent on something more worthwhile." I don't believe giving back is a way to show I care, if I care I will give back by being there and getting involved. This is why I don't donate to charities, not only do I believe charities are full of sh*t and I don't believe my money is being used the right way, but if I want to help a poor country then I'll get on a plane and go and help them.

lol thats just how I am. I think giving out money is senseless to be honest, yes even to charities. I will be the only one in the room who refuses to give a penny to some charity. I promise you that. lol! If I wanted to help, I'll act. Not give out my money/material goods lol!!!

posted November 22, 2011 07:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
I hope by the time I might have children, I will be at a level where I won't feel awful when it comes to sharing/lending. This is why I have to marry a giving person LOL!

what makes me this way? Control. I'm a big controller.
I like to control things.. not people, but things!
I assume Saturn in first house being in Aquarius conjuncting my sun and mercury and Ascendant = restriction. I dont like sharing at all! Its all about order and control. If I can withhold material things from people and keep it to myself I feel secure. To lose any of it without my knowledge and without anything to replace it, I crumble. I assume Saturn (capricorn natural ruler) does this. I personally don't like to share it hurts my ego.. literally I don't experience happiness and pleasant feelings when I see the look on someone's face, that they are happy because they have food to now eat, I think "ugh. I'm going to regret this. my money could have been spent on something more worthwhile." I don't believe giving back is a way to show I care, if I care I will give back by being there and getting involved. This is why I don't donate to charities, not only do I believe charities are full of sh*t and I don't believe my money is being used the right way, but if I want to help a poor country then I'll get on a plane and go and help them.

lol thats just how I am. I think giving out money is senseless to be honest, yes even to charities. I will be the only one in the room who refuses to give a penny to some charity. I promise you that. lol! If I wanted to help, I'll act. Not give out my money/material goods lol!!!

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posted November 22, 2011 07:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:
my mom is very controlling, I Have to say I much rather you channel your need to control through things than through your children or people.

I think also people let you down when you were a kid so you have learned to rely on material things so you get attached to material things bc material things can't let you down (you can always get more). Ofcourse this isn't good either and the fact that you are aware of it means that you will probably tone this down as you get older. If you were not aware of it then there is no hope.

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Oh ya you are right about that, forgot to add that to why I don like sharing/stingy and why I am a huge controller over things. Childhood plays a role. I was let down a lot as a kid and material things replaced human love for me, I grew up around that mentality so now time come when it's necessary to give back to others I have a hard time.

I don't like to control others.. but I admit I have a habit of controlling people mentally not physically. I'm often too afraid to attempt to control others physically so I stay with what I know - controlling material things

posted November 22, 2011 07:16 PM            

The most valuable thing you can do is go to a poor country and educate them on how to become self sufficient and help them with your knowledge and hands through the process of becoming more self sufficient bec that kind of charity keeps on giving is not dependent on limited resources.

posted November 22, 2011 07:19 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
Oh ya you are right about that, forgot to add that to why I don like sharing/stingy and why I am a huge controller over things. Childhood plays a role. I was let down a lot as a kid and material things replaced human love for me, I grew up around that mentality so now time come when it's necessary to give back to others I have a hard time.

I don't like to control others.. but I admit I have a habit of controlling people mentally not physically. I'm often too afraid to attempt to control others physically so I stay with what I know - controlling material things

did your mom have any cap placements? you also mentioned she was very religious?

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posted November 22, 2011 07:23 PM            

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Originally posted by amelia28:
a lot of charities are unfortunately full of ****

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posted November 22, 2011 07:51 PM            

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Originally posted by stillatlarge:
they are being treated with dignity

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posted November 22, 2011 07:56 PM            

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Whoever said Aqua was generous...I've NEVER seen a generous Aqua EVER. Not female Aquas anyway.[/B]

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it's good that you are charitable. I honestly do not know how you can do it. I'm very skeptical and don't trust easily so.. lol!

posted November 23, 2011 01:08 AM            

I especially think that Saturn conjunct Jupiter, Venus or Nepune is especailly miserly.

I have Venus conjunct Saturn, I am very stingy.