posted November 23, 2011 09:03 AM            

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Originally posted by mintgirl123:
How tight is it? I think alot of people have this? Esp in scorp.

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posted November 23, 2011 12:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
I am male and have Venus in Scorp Conjunct Pluto in Scorp, 2 degree orb. Could you be more specific with what things you might like to know? At the very least, all relationships would be a learning experience helping the person to grow and understand themselves better.

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posted November 23, 2011 10:16 PM            

This is going to be a long post, a very long post. In fact, almost a blog or running monologue.

I would agree with your account of relationships being all consuming. I haven't been in many myself but I know that they have been pretty intense. As I write this I can't help thinking to myself that all I want in life is someone to share it with. I don't really care what I do, where I am or where i'm going as long as it is with somebody. I definitely understand that this places an unhealthy strain on any potential partners I may meet as i'm sure it leaks out somewhere. For me personally control in the relationship isn't an issue I could quite happily let them do whatever they wanted as long as I absolutely knew 100% that they would always come back to me. I guess if I feel like they love me wholly then I have nothing to worry about. On the flipside, if I feel like they don't love me wholly, I am unlikely to stay with them, I say this with the thinking that it is a waste of my time if they don't but there may be some anxiousness about power play and withholding love.

When it comes to letting my affections be known, I have no idea whether I do or not. I can only assume that currently I do not or that all the women I have met are unbelievably passive. I don't generally get straight to the, we should go on a date. I don't tend to say, I like you either. When I have feelings for someone I am particularly shy and careful around them. I really like to feel as if they have feelings for me to. You may guess this generally doesn't go down to well. This is compounded by some of my earlier experiences in my youth when I was pretty much told that a girl wanted me to ask her out by her best friend and I did. She promptly turned me down, much to my confusion at the time and still even as I write this I don't know. This perhaps further increased my unconcious anxiety about rejection and using love in power play.

I have only recently begun to realise that I seem to make most women uncomfortable around me and I am not sure whether it is me or them. Whether it is something about me that I am doing or saying, verbally or non verbally, that is making them uncomfortable or whether they genuinely like me but find it hard to socialise with me for whatever reason. They will have a fine conversation with someone and as soon as we start to talk, they tend to become jarred and staggered and slightly awkward in speech, for the most part. This doesn't always happen though. I never used to think of myself as particularly attractive, in any sense, mentally, physically, spiritually or sexually. I have had certain things highlighted to me that have made me falter on my opinion of my own self worth/value.

I wouldn't say I have issues with control but then I know I can be quite posessive. My Venus Pluto conjunction falls in my fourth house. So my family is important to me, they are mine! Anyone who displeases my family or is in anyway negative towards them is definitely going to irk me. I consider the majority of my friends family also and I am very possessive over them. If I know that they are spending time together without me I do tend to feel left out and unwanted, perhaps even unloved... but I let it go, this is definitely something I am a lot better with now. My first relationship was in highschool, my girlfriend was being criticised by our teacher and looking back I got so upset and annoyed that I opened my mouth and argued with her about picking on my girlfriend. She didn't know we were together and I didn't tell her as I used my girlfriends name. I don't know what it was but I was just so protective of her. I would like to say its because I will do anything for the people I love and to protect them.

If you were to ask me, do I need to control. I would respond no but thinking about it, the most attractive aspect about control isn't necessarily the ultimate power, but about having the power to shape your destiny. I'll use a lame example, I play a lot of games, board games, card games, computer games. I also play a lot of sport and its having the ability to shape the destiny of the game that I find attractive. If I feel powerless in the game then I just don't see the point in playing because you aren't influencing the outcome. So take a board game that uses a dice to decide an outcome, like Yahtzee or Risk. I do not enjoy those games because the decision is essentially luck based. Transferring this to relationships, I want to feel like I have an impact on my partner and not that i'm just an accessory to her, one that she can leave in her closet and use when she wants and then put away when she's done. I guess I want to feel appreciated really.

So much of what was in Maira's link is somewhat applicable.

I do ultimately want to be seen as attractive and I do think about the clothes I wear, the way I dance, the way I walk and move normally. I am very interested in body language and it speaks volumes about people. I would not say I am narcissistic, I don't spend hours in front of mirrors, or constantly check my appearance. I don't have a lengthy grooming schedule or go to the gym. Don't get me wrong I am cut and would describe myself as muscular athletic, thanks to all the sport I do . This is what makes me feel narcissistic sometimes because I do care about my appearance.

I am past the point of switching off emotionally for the most part, its not healthy and doesn't accomplish anything. I will still cut people out of my life if I deem it necessary. I will feel sad about it but if it needs doing, it gets done. Another example, my best friend at the time started talking to a girl I was dating, we were in that kind of stage. I had no idea this was even going on until she asked me if I thought it was possible to love two people at the same time. To which of course, with my conjunction in Scorpio, I replied, of course not. I then asked her who she was talking about and after much round abouting and her never telling me, I accused my best friend, justly as it turned out, it was just a feeling I had. When I told her I asked him and he admitted it, she admitted it as well. Anyway, he was cut from my life because best friends just don't do that. She was promptly gone from my life as well, for the simple fact of not telling me. I absolutely abbhor being lied to above everything else. I can't promise that if you are honest I won't get angry but I won't cut you from my life. It was made even worse by the fact that I basically introduced them by happenstance one day, so they would never have met and then he actively pursued a potential relationship with her without ever saying anything to me. Had he said, I really like her. I probably would have stopped seeing her and told him to go for it. Genuinely because I didn't value myself at the time and would always see others as better for relationships than myself, I guess I felt unworthy. I still feel unworthy now really and its been a relatively long time since i've been in a relationship.

I don't necessarily agree with the astrological idea that Venus in a women's chart means X and Venus in a man's chart means Y. I don't understand how the stars know what sex a baby is going to be. I'm not sure I believe gender is determined by the stars. So I definitely feel Venus and Mars play the same role in both male and female charts, not counterpoint, because Venus and Mars are already counterpoint. So what good would it be to make counterpoints counterpoint.

With regards to Pluto coarsening the nature of Venus I do have a very high sex drive. I have a lot of those sorts of asteroids in Scorpio, eros, sappho, cupido, conjuncting my Venus - Pluto also. I wouldn't described myself as overtly sexual or domineering in any way. Privately of course is very different.

Three isn't always a crowd but I do enjoy the more intense one on one contact time with people. It feels more natural to me. I love crowds and talking to a lot of different people but I enjoy the one on one contact time. It just lets me read their body language, their tone and inflexions, their eyes and just understand so much more about them.

In summation...

I am very partner orientated, it is perhaps all I seek in life, just to be with someone. Could come across as overbearing or off putting.

I think and feel I am subtle with letting my affections be known unless we are in a relationship.

I feel like women are uncomfortable around me, I can't explain whether its me or them, why or how.

I can be very protective, [perhaps read as possive... ] over family, friends and partners.

I don't want control, but I like to feel like I have an impact/influence on my destiny and to be appreciated by my partner.

I want to be attractive to people although I keep this to myself.

I don't switch off emotionally any more but I do cut people out of my life if, in my mind, they deserve it.

I have a high sex drive and imagination.

I don't mind talking in groups and to lots of different people, but I prefer speaking one to one for the intensity and ability to really get to know the person and understand them.

If there is anything else you wish to know or questions to ask? Please do Its as much a learning experience for me as it is for you. I must admit, i'm curious as to how you handle the conjunction and your thoughts on your own.

posted November 24, 2011 02:03 AM            

quote:

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Control in the relationship isn't an issue I could quite happily let them do whatever they wanted as long as I absolutely knew 100% that they would always come back to me. I guess if I feel like they love me wholly then I have nothing to worry about. On the flipside, if I feel like they don't love me wholly, I am unlikely to stay with them, I say this with the thinking that it is a waste of my time if they don't

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I also feel like it is a waste of time. I don't think we can control anyone - because everyone has free will and they can make their individual choices in life.
If I don't trust someone, I wouldn't be with them in the first place.

quote:

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I will do anything for the people I love and to protect them.

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quote:

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I want to feel like I have an impact on my partner and not that i'm just an accessory to her, one that she can leave in her closet and use when she wants and then put away when she's done. I guess I want to feel appreciated really.

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It's really important to feel appreciated! I'm a lot like this.

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I am very interested in body language and it speaks volumes about people.

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It does! Sometimes their body language tells a different story or a more complex story - than they would otherwise let on verbally.

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I absolutely abbhor being lied to above everything else. I can't promise that if you are honest I won't get angry but I won't cut you from my life.

Had he said, I really like her. I probably would have stopped seeing her and told him to go for it.

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This is exactly what I said to my ex

quote:

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Three isn't always a crowd but I do enjoy the more intense one on one contact time with people. It feels more natural to me.

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I know.. It feels like you actually get to know them, rather than chit-chat about the weather!

posted November 24, 2011 09:31 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
That was a very interesting read maira, thank you.

This is going to be a long post, a very long post. In fact, almost a blog or running monologue.

I would agree with your account of relationships being all consuming. I haven't been in many myself but I know that they have been pretty intense. As I write this I can't help thinking to myself that all I want in life is someone to share it with. I don't really care what I do, where I am or where i'm going as long as it is with somebody. I definitely understand that this places an unhealthy strain on any potential partners I may meet as i'm sure it leaks out somewhere. For me personally control in the relationship isn't an issue I could quite happily let them do whatever they wanted as long as I absolutely knew 100% that they would always come back to me. I guess if I feel like they love me wholly then I have nothing to worry about. On the flipside, if I feel like they don't love me wholly, I am unlikely to stay with them, I say this with the thinking that it is a waste of my time if they don't but there may be some anxiousness about power play and withholding love.

When it comes to letting my affections be known, I have no idea whether I do or not. I can only assume that currently I do not or that all the women I have met are unbelievably passive. I don't generally get straight to the, we should go on a date. I don't tend to say, I like you either. When I have feelings for someone I am particularly shy and careful around them. I really like to feel as if they have feelings for me to. You may guess this generally doesn't go down to well. This is compounded by some of my earlier experiences in my youth when I was pretty much told that a girl wanted me to ask her out by her best friend and I did. She promptly turned me down, much to my confusion at the time and still even as I write this I don't know. This perhaps further increased my unconcious anxiety about rejection and using love in power play.

I have only recently begun to realise that I seem to make most women uncomfortable around me and I am not sure whether it is me or them. Whether it is something about me that I am doing or saying, verbally or non verbally, that is making them uncomfortable or whether they genuinely like me but find it hard to socialise with me for whatever reason. They will have a fine conversation with someone and as soon as we start to talk, they tend to become jarred and staggered and slightly awkward in speech, for the most part. This doesn't always happen though. I never used to think of myself as particularly attractive, in any sense, mentally, physically, spiritually or sexually. I have had certain things highlighted to me that have made me falter on my opinion of my own self worth/value.

I wouldn't say I have issues with control but then I know I can be quite posessive. My Venus Pluto conjunction falls in my fourth house. So my family is important to me, they are mine! Anyone who displeases my family or is in anyway negative towards them is definitely going to irk me. I consider the majority of my friends family also and I am very possessive over them. If I know that they are spending time together without me I do tend to feel left out and unwanted, perhaps even unloved... but I let it go, this is definitely something I am a lot better with now. My first relationship was in highschool, my girlfriend was being criticised by our teacher and looking back I got so upset and annoyed that I opened my mouth and argued with her about picking on my girlfriend. She didn't know we were together and I didn't tell her as I used my girlfriends name. I don't know what it was but I was just so protective of her. I would like to say its because I will do anything for the people I love and to protect them.

If you were to ask me, do I need to control. I would respond no but thinking about it, the most attractive aspect about control isn't necessarily the ultimate power, but about having the power to shape your destiny. I'll use a lame example, I play a lot of games, board games, card games, computer games. I also play a lot of sport and its having the ability to shape the destiny of the game that I find attractive. If I feel powerless in the game then I just don't see the point in playing because you aren't influencing the outcome. So take a board game that uses a dice to decide an outcome, like Yahtzee or Risk. I do not enjoy those games because the decision is essentially luck based. Transferring this to relationships, I want to feel like I have an impact on my partner and not that i'm just an accessory to her, one that she can leave in her closet and use when she wants and then put away when she's done. I guess I want to feel appreciated really.

So much of what was in Maira's link is somewhat applicable.

I do ultimately want to be seen as attractive and I do think about the clothes I wear, the way I dance, the way I walk and move normally. I am very interested in body language and it speaks volumes about people. I would not say I am narcissistic, I don't spend hours in front of mirrors, or constantly check my appearance. I don't have a lengthy grooming schedule or go to the gym. Don't get me wrong I am cut and would describe myself as muscular athletic, thanks to all the sport I do . This is what makes me feel narcissistic sometimes because I do care about my appearance.

I am past the point of switching off emotionally for the most part, its not healthy and doesn't accomplish anything. I will still cut people out of my life if I deem it necessary. I will feel sad about it but if it needs doing, it gets done. Another example, my best friend at the time started talking to a girl I was dating, we were in that kind of stage. I had no idea this was even going on until she asked me if I thought it was possible to love two people at the same time. To which of course, with my conjunction in Scorpio, I replied, of course not. I then asked her who she was talking about and after much round abouting and her never telling me, I accused my best friend, justly as it turned out, it was just a feeling I had. When I told her I asked him and he admitted it, she admitted it as well. Anyway, he was cut from my life because best friends just don't do that. She was promptly gone from my life as well, for the simple fact of not telling me. I absolutely abbhor being lied to above everything else. I can't promise that if you are honest I won't get angry but I won't cut you from my life. It was made even worse by the fact that I basically introduced them by happenstance one day, so they would never have met and then he actively pursued a potential relationship with her without ever saying anything to me. Had he said, I really like her. I probably would have stopped seeing her and told him to go for it. Genuinely because I didn't value myself at the time and would always see others as better for relationships than myself, I guess I felt unworthy. I still feel unworthy now really and its been a relatively long time since i've been in a relationship.

I don't necessarily agree with the astrological idea that Venus in a women's chart means X and Venus in a man's chart means Y. I don't understand how the stars know what sex a baby is going to be. I'm not sure I believe gender is determined by the stars. So I definitely feel Venus and Mars play the same role in both male and female charts, not counterpoint, because Venus and Mars are already counterpoint. So what good would it be to make counterpoints counterpoint.

With regards to Pluto coarsening the nature of Venus I do have a very high sex drive. I have a lot of those sorts of asteroids in Scorpio, eros, sappho, cupido, conjuncting my Venus - Pluto also. I wouldn't described myself as overtly sexual or domineering in any way. Privately of course is very different.

Three isn't always a crowd but I do enjoy the more intense one on one contact time with people. It feels more natural to me. I love crowds and talking to a lot of different people but I enjoy the one on one contact time. It just lets me read their body language, their tone and inflexions, their eyes and just understand so much more about them.

In summation...

I am very partner orientated, it is perhaps all I seek in life, just to be with someone. Could come across as overbearing or off putting.

I think and feel I am subtle with letting my affections be known unless we are in a relationship.

I feel like women are uncomfortable around me, I can't explain whether its me or them, why or how.

I can be very protective, [perhaps read as possive... ] over family, friends and partners.

I don't want control, but I like to feel like I have an impact/influence on my destiny and to be appreciated by my partner.

I want to be attractive to people although I keep this to myself.

I don't switch off emotionally any more but I do cut people out of my life if, in my mind, they deserve it.

I have a high sex drive and imagination.

I don't mind talking in groups and to lots of different people, but I prefer speaking one to one for the intensity and ability to really get to know the person and understand them.

If there is anything else you wish to know or questions to ask? Please do Its as much a learning experience for me as it is for you. I must admit, i'm curious as to how you handle the conjunction and your thoughts on your own.

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Swiftfreeze, wow, thank you for your detailed post. I agree with a lot of what you wrote.As far as how I handle the conjunction? Well, first of all I need intensity, bottom line. If a guy doesn't have the capacity to go deep, I am just not that interested. I always want to get right down to the nitty gritty right away and those who are flighty or what I perceive as superficial, I am turned off. I love the smoldering type, the ones with passions lurking beneath the surface, brooding, deep, mysterious. Also, if there is not a lot of physical attraction on my part, it is difficult for me to stay in it to see if that part would develop. I really go on instinct in that department. I want someone to feel as intensely and as passionately as me. Ultimately, I am looking for the whole package...mental, physical, spiritual and soulful. This is so hard to find therefore I am very choosy and not easily attracted. I feel I tend to attract partners who like to be in control of me emotionally. Its a double edged sword...I like their wanting control because I feel like they are feeling things as intensely as me but I also hate it because I dont want to be controlled. As far as being possessive, my mars in aqua tempers this but I don't mind someone being possessive of me! I have read that venus conjunct pluto people are attracted to partners that they feel they can merge with and those who can "complete" them. But, that venus/pluto people need to find love within themselves first. I am working on this.

Like you, if it isn't working, I can say goodbye without turning back however, I can also hold on to feelings for someone for a really long time. I have found this aspect to be both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes I wish I could just be okay with a nice, pleasant relationship but deep down I know I would die slowly inside to continue in such a relationship. I have to feel everything down to the core. What is really difficult is finding someone who can handle my intensity. I feel partners love this about me but hate it at the same time because it forces them to look inside themselves and let's face it, many people just can't do this.

posted November 24, 2011 06:38 PM            

I don't want a nice pleasant relationship. Don't get me wrong, I don't want a chaotic, awful relationship, but it has to be deep and meaningful, its hard to explain really. There have been a couple of women who have agitated me and they've been Scorpio in Mars generally. I felt their lust for me pretty strongly which was a weird feeling. Those are the types that make me unsure of myself occasionally. You're right, a lot of people do not want to look inside of themselves, they fear what they may find.

I've done a lot of positive harnessing for sure but I am still understanding and dealing with the issues. We all have our bad moments.

posted August 24, 2014 10:41 PM            

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Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
The merging definitely sounds good to me, that is what I probably am seeking. I have a Mars in Libra so I am pretty fair minded and extremely open minded about everything. Whilst I do form judgements occasionally I always give everything a fair chance... my fair chance. I guess this makes me very people orientated and I like to make people happy so I tend to do everything I can for those I spend time with. I understand the needing to love yourself, as I have gone and am going through the same trial.

I don't want a nice pleasant relationship. Don't get me wrong, I don't want a chaotic, awful relationship, but it has to be deep and meaningful, its hard to explain really. There have been a couple of women who have agitated me and they've been Scorpio in Mars generally. I felt their lust for me pretty strongly which was a weird feeling. Those are the types that make me unsure of myself occasionally. You're right, a lot of people do not want to look inside of themselves, they fear what they may find.

I've done a lot of positive harnessing for sure but I am still understanding and dealing with the issues. We all have our bad moments.

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I realize this post is old, but I searched "Venus/Pluto male" for the obvious reasons (a current interest), but the weird synchronicity lies in the fact, I too have a Venus/Pluto conjunction like the original user.

posted August 24, 2014 10:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
The merging definitely sounds good to me, that is what I probably am seeking. I have a Mars in Libra so I am pretty fair minded and extremely open minded about everything. Whilst I do form judgements occasionally I always give everything a fair chance... my fair chance. I guess this makes me very people orientated and I like to make people happy so I tend to do everything I can for those I spend time with. I understand the needing to love yourself, as I have gone and am going through the same trial.

I don't want a nice pleasant relationship. Don't get me wrong, I don't want a chaotic, awful relationship, but it has to be deep and meaningful, its hard to explain really. There have been a couple of women who have agitated me and they've been Scorpio in Mars generally. I felt their lust for me pretty strongly which was a weird feeling. Those are the types that make me unsure of myself occasionally. You're right, a lot of people do not want to look inside of themselves, they fear what they may find.

I've done a lot of positive harnessing for sure but I am still understanding and dealing with the issues. We all have our bad moments.

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I realize this post is old, but I searched "Venus/Pluto male" for the obvious reasons (a current interest), but the weird synchronicity lies in the fact, I too have a Venus/Pluto conjunction like the original user.

I started reading the replies and got excited though, because I think it's possible Swift Freeze that we may be astro-twins! Or close anyway! I'm so curious as to your birth. Of course, if this is invasive, I understand. I ask because I have Sappho, Eros, Cupid conjunct Venus and Pluto in Scorpio. I also have Mars in Libra! It'd be cool to meet a similar scope as my own and compare.