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Author
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Topic: Eye Contact, Ascendants and Mercury Positions
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NativelyJoan
Knowflake Posts: 400
From: Boston, MA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 26, 2011 12:31 AM
  
Well... I have trouble giving new people I meet eye contact. Firstly, I know my stares can be intense (Mars in the 1st). Secondly, when I look people in the eye I feel like I zone into them and I see a lot, almost too much. I know the hypothetical theory of liars avoiding eye contact but for me it's not about deception or even a lack of confidence. I see lies, I see truth, one time I looked directly into a friend's eyes for an extended period of time and I saw complete darkness. There was nothing behind her eyes, it was just emptiness. It was terrifying and I felt sick. The days following were filled with nightmares and I learned the hard way that she was a underhanded and lost soul. I guess I'm timid about giving direct eye contact because I can intimidate others and I'm mostly afraid of what their eyes might reveal. The worst is when they see you seeing their truth or lies, and then they get uncomfortable. I hate that because being a Libra I never want people to be uncomfortable for any reason. I'm an Aquarius Rising with Mercury in Libra in the 8th. I don't think anyone necessarily wants to be seen but I've realized I've got a problem seeing people. Who they are, their intentions, their truth. I live in an environment and work in a career where I'm constantly meeting people. I'm highly aware of myself and other people and I evaluate and scan people and zone into them and the things I pick up on are overwhelming. Sometimes you see happiness, sometimes you see fear, pain, crimes and darkness. I'm so aware of motivations and intentions that I have to train my mind to focus and not get lost in what their eyes are revealing. And I tend to attract many troubled individuals. Any who what's your take on eye contact? How do you handle seeing someone's truth? Does it scare you? Would you distance yourself from them as a result of what you saw? Would you trust them? Include Rising signs, Mercury signs and house placements please  IP: Logged |
RedScorp
Knowflake Posts: 664
From: Ontario, Canada!
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted November 26, 2011 12:37 AM
I make eye contact all da time! I like seeing yer eyes and getting a feeling - that little bit more than just words, tone and body language.There are times, howevah, when I feel like I can't look the person in dem eyes. That's usually when they're adults or teachers, etc. I guess it's a power or respect thing? Then, with say peers or younger people, I can manage a gaze much longer! Virgo rising, Libra Mercury in Second. IP: Logged |
NativelyJoan
Knowflake Posts: 400
From: Boston, MA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 26, 2011 12:56 AM
RedScorp darling thanks for your insights  . I have trouble looking authority figures in the eyes also. I used to intimidate my professors especially when I was in college. I think they felt threatened by me and I was able to see into them and I think they sensed that and would put up a guard instinctively which just made me nervous. I never went to meet professors for office hours, even when they would request it. I didn't want to be alone with them with nothing to look at but their eyes or the ceiling. It was too overwhelming...  I'm getting better at being comfortable with seeing people though it hasn't been easy. IP: Logged |
Alma Sun
Moderator Posts: 623
From: The East Coast
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted November 26, 2011 12:56 AM
Lol.. I'm the same way with eye contact NJ. I also have Mars in the 1st, but Pluto's there too. When I make eye contact I feel uncomfortable because I know they're uncomfortable.. Like I should mind my own business or something. Plus it also looks more like stares, and you know what they say about staring lol. Lib Rising
Sag Merc, 2nd house ♡ ------------------
"I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else." ― G.K. Chesterton IP: Logged |
downtomars
Knowflake Posts: 871
From: NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 26, 2011 12:58 AM
I actually have the same thing in reverse - people can always tell how I am feeling just by looking into my eyes. I have very honest eyes! So, it helps when people want to know how they look when they try something on but I have to avoid direct eye contact with guys I find attractive because I don't want them to get too comfortable too soon. I also avoid eye contact with guys I don't find attractive (eta: The ones who I can tell find me attractive, not just random men! Well, sometimes...) because I don't want them to get the wrong idea - my eyes can be too seductive, I don't want them to fall in love!  (I'm laughing but I totally mean that, guys really go crazy over my eyes)...Aquarius rising, Mercury in Leo in the 7th... IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 6044
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 26, 2011 01:36 AM
First I need eye contact because it is a good way to get someone's attn, sometimes I startle people w.how suddenly I approach them, but I need to know what I want to know right then and there. I also need eye contact to be able to get what they're trying to convey, the feeling behind their words, and can make eye contact with anyone, no problem. I'm so good at it that when I'm in a room where there is someone making a presentation, invariably their eyes 9 times out of 10 will be focused on mine during their speech because my gaze is so focused. I like to think that I steady them and help them collect their thoughts while presenting. I don't often encounter people who find it difficult to make eye contact, at all, so that seems to be something rare. Or at least rare in adults, in talking with younger people I find it more often, but only when they're unsure of their stance on a matter or a difficult subject is broached.
Leo Asc, Aqua Merc in the 7thOK I will say that on a side note, when I was in London on vacation a while back, while walking down the sidewalk just making eye contact with people passing by out of curiosity, a lot of em found it uncomfortable when they noticed that someone was watching them, so maybe it is somewhat cultural? It was funny, their eyes darted around fast & they looked like they didn't know what to do with themselves. Where I'm from, people-watching is a hobby. Not mine exactly, but I know a lot of people who'll happily plop themselves down in a mall or downtown on a bench and just stare. IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 1955
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 26, 2011 02:10 AM
Any who what's your take on eye contact?I can easily make eye contact. I only avoid eye contact if I feel like it makes the person I'm with uncomfortable.
But very often people like looking me in the eyes. Could this be the Pisces influence? lol
I think I have a therapeutical effect. I'm pretty calm. How do you handle seeing someone's truth? With great secrecy. I don't let them or anyone else know I am seeing anything at all. Playing dumb comes naturally LOL
I find it interesting when I am able to really see *someone* - almost like reading a book.. whether it is a scary book or a comedy it still fascinates me. Does it scare you? Not at all, because I've made my peace with so many negative things in human nature and I trust God. I think fear is a negative feeling.. It leads one into making poor choices and decisions imo I've seen it so many times.
I try not to be a panicky person. Would you distance yourself from them as a result of what you saw? Only if I thought what I saw would adversely affect me.. but not out of fear - just out of self-preservation.
Some people's problems can be exhausting and I need my energy. Would you trust them? It can take me a long while to trust people.. even people I absolutely love. I don't see this as a problem.. Sometimes I see others saying "oh noes.. I wish I could trust people easier lalalla" - Well, I really don't. I'm happy with my level of skepticism lol
In time - I can trust different people with different things.. it really depends. If I saw someone as a gossip-king/queen - I wouldn't trust them with my secrets - but I might trust them to be reliable and dependable in other contexts... and vice versa. Include Rising signs, Mercury signs and house placements please Rising: Gemini/Cancer cusp -- It's literally 29'59 Gem or 00' Cancer. Mercury: Pisces 18 deg - 10th House - sextile Moon (Cap) and square Uranus (Sag) IP: Logged |
frankie2912
Knowflake Posts: 367
From: yep,ks,usa
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted November 26, 2011 02:22 AM
When I'm talking to people, I do not keep eye contact...I look at them every once in a while but my eyes are usually wandering all over the place when I'm talking.However, when people talk to me or I'm just listening...I stare them down..look them right in the eye and usually don't break the gaze. Scorpio ASC (Pluto and Venus conjunct ASC)
Mercury in Sagittarius (2nd house, loosely conjunct Sun, square Mars) IP: Logged |
sand
Knowflake Posts: 1544
From:
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 26, 2011 02:53 AM
i'm on of those shifty eye contacters i guess. same as you natively i don't want to intimidate anyone. i also wear sunglasses alot but it's perpetually sunny where i live anyways. if not by sunglasses my eyes are obscured by hair or a cap. i should stop wearing the shades tho coz they call more attention than deflect it. i think when i get mad it's the eyes people notice first. my 4th grade teacher told my parents i gave her teh eevil eyes if they reprimanded me. what's the merc connection? i'm an aries merc opp my scorpio ac.. IP: Logged |
popcorn
Knowflake Posts: 2466
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted November 26, 2011 03:02 AM
Im not good at eyecontact when I talk into many people.
AC Leo
Moon in gemini square mercury in virgoIP: Logged |
BelligerentPygmy
Knowflake Posts: 717
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 26, 2011 03:24 AM
I hatttteeeee eye contact. Primarily because I'm shy, but also because I feel like there's something too 'intimate' about it for me; to me it's like the equivalent of getting in someone's personal space or touching them without their permission (or vice versa).The only people I really hold eye contact with are family members. I have placements in Aquarius as well as a full eighth house, so personal and emotional space being respected, is a big deal to me.I started to answer the other questions, but then I thought about it and felt I couldn't. Because honestly - how many people really think they're a crappy judge of character and have a busted BS detector? Most people will tell you they're epic people-reader, myself included, but how many times do we all misjudge someone who is actually a decent person and assume the worst; or assume someone else is a saint and then find ourselves s.crewed over by them later. If we were had such great ability to discern, then wouldn't we have never found ourselves in that position in the first place? I think at the end of the day that people's instincts about that type of thing can't really be trusted because a lot of it is colored by our own bias, projections, predjudices and issues, as well as just seeing what we want to see in someone - like how if you just don't like someone or hear negative gossip about them, your tendency will be to read something sinister into everything about them and everything they do; or vice versa. So I don't really have a whole lot of faith in anyone's spidey-sense about anybody anymore - again, my own included. IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 1746
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 26, 2011 03:39 AM
I understand getting "too much" info via eye contact. I have Pluto in the 8th and trining my Moon, and Venus in Scorpio opposite this Moon; when I look at someone I can almost read their mind. Eyes are definitely the window of the soul for me. A look and I immediately know if you lie or how you feel. Many times I react to what I saw vs. what I heard especially when people say one thing and mean another. The eyes (and their body) always show the discrepancy.
Some times out of a desire for moderating the flow of info I get through eye contact, I avoid it on purpose. This is my way of taking a break. Eye contact is part of my intuitive brain pathways and I use it carefully for this reason. IP: Logged |
Frozen Queen
Moderator Posts: 389
From: 11th Dimension
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted November 26, 2011 09:05 AM
Too much of a good thing with me. I tend to gaze into people's eyes rather than at them so I regularly divert my eyes and look here and there to avoid staring at them for long because I've been told it's inappropriate to stare. I don't need to blink as much as most people so my gaze is quite steady and socially "awkward" as a consequence.I love eye contact and with close friends or family I don't need to check myself too much. ------------------
Ask Me anything. Anything. I will contrive to bring you the answer. The whole universe will I use to do this. So be on the lookout. This book is far from My only tool. You may ask a question, then put this book down. But watch. Listen. The words to the next song you hear. The information in the next article you read. The story line of the next movie you watch. The chance utterance of the next person you meet. Or the whisper of the next river, the next ocean, the next breeze that caresses your ear—all these devices are Mine; all these avenues are open to Me. I will speak to you if you will listen. I will come to you if you will invite Me. I will show you then that I have always been there. All ways.
♥ IP: Logged |
VenusDiSirius
Knowflake Posts: 1639
From: Saturn-free H12 ;)
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted November 26, 2011 09:42 AM
Eye contact is a must for me,I make it,I demand it from others. 70% of my communication is through eyes. Which my fire friends(and I have them a lot) find annoying When words needed,they r very direct. (H7 AriesMars)
I have Libra Asc,Virgo Merc in H12.Eta: I think it's my Merc that does the all work;matters while communicating r basically a hunch,intuitive product of our previous contacts. Eye contact is great for these sort of stuff IP: Logged |
NativelyJoan
Knowflake Posts: 400
From: Boston, MA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 26, 2011 01:09 PM
quote:
sand: i'm on of those shifty eye contacters i guess. same as you natively i don't want to intimidate anyone. i also wear sunglasses alot but it's perpetually sunny where i live anyways.
Lol Sand . The reason I mentioned Mercury is because my own is in Air and in my 8th house and I've noticed it greatly affects my communication abilities, facial expressions and thought processes. As well as what I feel comfortable talking about with others. I think the Ascendant and Mercury are tied together in how we communicate and our mannerisms. I also have noticed the eyes reveal much about Mercury placements. Knowing about different Mercury placements in the context of eye contact allows me and others who are interested, to get an idea of individual thought processes, their expression through house positions and how they integrate with the Ascendant. I hope that summed up your question. IP: Logged |
NativelyJoan
Knowflake Posts: 400
From: Boston, MA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 26, 2011 01:14 PM
quote:
anongrl10: I understand getting "too much" info via eye contact. I have Pluto in the 8th and trining my Moon, and Venus in Scorpio opposite this Moon; when I look at someone I can almost read their mind. Eyes are definitely the window of the soul for me. A look and I immediately know if you lie or how you feel. Many times I react to what I saw vs. what I heard especially when people say one thing and mean another. The eyes (and their body) always show the discrepancy.
Some times out of a desire for moderating the flow of info I get through eye contact, I avoid it on purpose. This is my way of taking a break. Eye contact is part of my intuitive brain pathways and I use it carefully for this reason.
I have Pluto(Scorpio) in the 8th too. I think it's one of the bigger reasons to why I avoid eye contact, my 8th house energy. I've always believed that I knew too much or that too much information gets sent to me or revealed to me and it makes it difficult to look people in the eyes. I accept it but it's hard. Thanks for all these fascinating insights IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 1746
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 26, 2011 05:26 PM
quote:
Originally posted by NativelyJoan:
I have Pluto(Scorpio) in the 8th too. I think it's one of the bigger reasons to why I avoid eye contact, my 8th house energy. I've always believed that I knew too much or that too much information gets sent to me or revealed to me and it makes it difficult to look people in the eyes. I accept it but it's hard.Thanks for all these fascinating insights
Joan, do you also have Mars in the 1st? Or strong Aries in your chart? IP: Logged |
NativelyJoan
Knowflake Posts: 400
From: Boston, MA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 26, 2011 05:48 PM
quote:
Originally posted by anongrl10:
Joan, do you also have Mars in the 1st? Or strong Aries in your chart?
Yep, Mars in Aries in the 1st house. My Mars is Quintile Pluto. Are you zoning in on something? IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 1746
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 26, 2011 05:51 PM
quote:
Originally posted by NativelyJoan:
Yep, Mars in Aries in the 1st house. My Mars is Quintile Pluto.
Are you zoning in on something?
That you're my astro twin.
But yeah a Plutonian with Mars in the 1st can be quite scary to look in the eye.
I think we both need to own up to it.
Be aware of the power and moderate it according to the circumstances. Use the power though instead of suppressing it.
I'm just thinking out loud (way past my bedtime here).
IP: Logged |
NativelyJoan
Knowflake Posts: 400
From: Boston, MA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 26, 2011 06:01 PM
Haha, very Cool!  Thanks for the advice. Having those placements is challenging and I do think it's the intimidation factor that makes me wary of looking others in the eye, even my friendly Libra Sun smile is overpowered by that Mars/Pluto aura. I will do my best not to suppress it and manage it accordingly. I do think it's a gift but I'm still learning how to accept that and live it. Hooray for Martian/Plutonians!
IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 1746
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 26, 2011 06:15 PM
quote:
Originally posted by NativelyJoan:
Hooray for Martian/Plutonians!
IP: Logged |
Nicole401
Knowflake Posts: 248
From: CA, USA
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted November 26, 2011 06:29 PM
I don't have trouble making eye contact, at all. I love how it makes most people uncomfortable.. They're just eyes you know? I don't see anything, no emotion no thoughts.. just eyes. I can read people's body language better than their eyes. Gemini Rising, Taurus Mercury in the twelfth house IP: Logged |
sand
Knowflake Posts: 1544
From:
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 27, 2011 12:55 AM
quote:
Originally posted by NativelyJoan:
Lol Sand . The reason I mentioned Mercury is because my own is in Air and in my 8th house and I've noticed it greatly affects my communication abilities, facial expressions and thought processes. As well as what I feel comfortable talking about with others. I think the Ascendant and Mercury are tied together in how we communicate and our mannerisms. I also have noticed the eyes reveal much about Mercury placements. Knowing about different Mercury placements in the context of eye contact allows me and others who are interested, to get an idea of individual thought processes, their expression through house positions and how they integrate with the Ascendant. I hope that summed up your question.
hmm.. well my merc is in aries h6. it's ruler is in the 1st so that might also add to mine. maybe you have that too? no? IP: Logged |
NativelyJoan
Knowflake Posts: 400
From: Boston, MA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 27, 2011 01:30 AM
quote:
Originally posted by sand:
hmm.. well my merc is in aries h6. it's ruler is in the 1st so that might also add to mine. maybe you have that too? no?
Yes I do have Mars in the 1st, if I remember correctly yours is in Scorpio. My Mars is in Aries. Maybe that's why as you mentioned in a previous post on this thread that you might intimidate people and I'm the same way. My gaze is just intense and disarming. When other people are uncomfortable I quickly become uncomfortable. :/ (This is only in relation to people I don't know. With friends and family I have no trouble with eye contact) IP: Logged |
NativelyJoan
Knowflake Posts: 400
From: Boston, MA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 27, 2011 01:50 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Nicole401:
I don't have trouble making eye contact, at all. I love how it makes most people uncomfortable.. They're just eyes you know?
Have you ever felt uncomfortable under the gaze of someone else? I think eyes are possibly the most revealing part of a person. At least from my own experience it tells me more about a person than words could do justice. It's why I'm learning how to be better at eye contact with new people because there's so much to be seen and discovered. IP: Logged |
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