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Author Topic:   Do Cap mars/rising like to be bothered when they are feeling down?
lindisfarne
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From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
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posted November 29, 2011 10:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lindisfarne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Cappies if you are not having a good week mainly due to work how would you want your loved ones to handle you? Do you get bothered if they don't contact you at all or give you complete space to handle whatever you need or would that make you feel isolated and insecure??

I give him space when he needs it, mostly when he doesn't ask. i just *know* he needs space especially when hes not having a good day or week mostly involving work @ the hospital, sometimes I give him maybe too much space, the longest was nearly 2 weeks.. and he seemed to not like that very much? So how much space do you really want? Whenever I hear "I am having a rough week" that spells to me "I dont wanna be around anyone not even you, not because I don't want you around me but because I want to be at my utmost best with you" so i give him space and the last time this happened when I saw him he acted very insecure and kept thinking i was about to bolt out of the relationship when i was simply just giving him the time he needed.. So how do you mars in cap or cap rising want people to handle them when they are not feeling themselves?

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Malena
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posted November 29, 2011 10:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Malena     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm Cap Mars. I like to work through stress by myself and tend not to want to talk about it at all. Talking is like living the stress twice. I'll talk about it after the fact, though. I should say that my Scorpio placements probably affect this a lot.

But I also have to say... I've noticed you posted a lot of threads that seem to be about your boyfriend? I think you need to sit down and have a long talk with him, about what both you and he need, instead of trying to guess by his chart. If he can't have that conversation, then that indicates a deeper maturity problem on his part that no amount of astrology is going to fix. I don't mean to be harsh, or to suggest that you shouldn't post problems/questions. It's just something I've noticed lately.

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YoursTrulyAlways
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posted November 29, 2011 10:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm Cap Mars too. I would just want to be by myself and sort out matters or de-stress. If I need help or support, I would definitely let loved ones know. Otherwise, I would like confidence from loved ones that I know what I am doing.

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lindisfarne
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posted November 29, 2011 11:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lindisfarne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I'm Cap Mars too. I would just want to be by myself and sort out matters or de-stress. If I need help or support, I would definitely let loved ones know. Otherwise, I would like confidence from loved ones that I know what I am doing.

Ok how do you personally de-stress? do you seclude yourself?

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YoursTrulyAlways
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posted November 29, 2011 11:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by lindisfarne:
Ok how do you personally de-stress? do you seclude yourself?

During the week, I spend time commuting on a train, so it helps with personal quiet time. I like to exercise and that helps to de-stress. Swimmming and biking helps. I like music. I have quiet time by myself when I am stressed, so I guess I seclude myself in front of my computer or just sitting alone. My wife understands and leaves me alone. Sometimes I even sleep by myself in the guest bedroom because I spend quiet moments in thought before bed. Or play some silly computer game. I have learned not to go for my drives to de-stress because it can get dangerous driving without paying attention.

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lindisfarne
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posted November 29, 2011 11:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lindisfarne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
During the week, I spend time commuting on a train, so it helps with personal quiet time. I like to exercise and that helps to de-stress. Swimmming and biking helps. I like music. I have quiet time by myself when I am stressed, so I guess I seclude myself in front of my computer or just sitting alone. My wife understands and leaves me alone. Sometimes I even sleep by myself in the guest bedroom because I spend quiet moments in thought before bed. Or play some silly computer game. I have learned not to go for my drives to de-stress because it can get dangerous driving without paying attention.

You mentioned commuting, Doesn't it irk you when someone sits right next to you, when there are literally 10+ other available seats? Random question...

The driving bit, do you get that into your thoughts/head? I always wondered about that too sometimes I dont feel safe driving especially at night when I'm really into my thoughts, I get distracted and won't pay attention. At least your wife understands. I think i seen you post about your wife and children and how much you love them. Very endearing.

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YoursTrulyAlways
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posted November 30, 2011 12:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by lindisfarne:
You mentioned commuting, Doesn't it irk you when someone sits right next to you, when there are literally 10+ other available seats? Random question...

The driving bit, do you get that into your thoughts/head? I always wondered about that too sometimes I dont feel safe driving especially at night when I'm really into my thoughts, I get distracted and won't pay attention. At least your wife understands. I think i seen you post about your wife and children and how much you love them. Very endearing.


Yes. It irks me when someone sits next to me when there are plenty of available seats, including pretty women lol Seriously. Leave me alone. I want my peace and quiet.

I like convertibles and the open sky while driving, and I put the tops down all the way until the dead of winter. You're Canadian. So I guess its about 8 degrees Celcius before I have to put the top up. Its refreshing and it clears my mind.

Yes, I get distracted when thinking and driving. Its very dangerous. So I don't do that anymore. When I was young, I was dumb and went driving fast when stressed. That was really, really stupid.

My wife has learned to deal with me over the years. We each have our own hideaway bedrooms with TVs/etc. and our computers are in separate rooms too. So we have our personal quiet space. We don't question when one party wants to go sleep in her/his own room. I do it so as not to bother her sleep because I'm up half the night stressing out about something stupid. Also, she complains I snore when I'm stoned tired and so she can go get peace in her own room.

Sometimes, one of us sleeps overnight (usually me) in our 6 year old son's room. He's spoilt and is attached to his parents.

As for a loving relationship, your time will come. Let it come naturally. Don't rush it. You are still young and there is a whole life ahead of you. Be optimistic. Your future is bright. You will find true love soon enough, and the feeling of loving sacrifice and endearment will come naturally, so much so that you don't even think about it. You just do everything you can because you love the person so much, more than your own life.

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T
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posted November 30, 2011 09:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Cap rising here.

No, we often like to be left alone, weather we are bothered or not.

...but especially when we're p o'd.

best to leave us alone then.

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BelligerentPygmy
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posted November 30, 2011 10:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BelligerentPygmy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The one I know, pretty much likes to whine incessantly and wallow in his s**t. And when he's not doing that, he wants to be mothered, babied, fussed over and taken care of by a woman. Any woman.

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Capriquarius
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posted November 30, 2011 10:57 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
YourTrulyAlways, your last post sounds like Venus in Aquarius.

Lindisfarne: I have Mars in Capricorn but when I ask for space in a relationship, that means I'm not really that into the guy. Even though my Moon is in Aquarius. When people are in love, they all act like people IN LOVE, no matter what the sign placements. There's nothing I'd look forward to more after a long day's work than to be around someone I'm in love with. Although, I'm female and have Venus in Scorpio. Still though....when someone keeps asking for space, it's not a good sign from my experience.

Mars is more indicative of your work mode. When I'm working, I need my space to be effective. I hate chatty coworkers who seem to expect me to entertain them all the livelong day.

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Starry~*
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posted November 30, 2011 11:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Starry~*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My boyfriend has Mars in Capricorn and lately he's also been stressed about work. At home I'd give him his space, let him do his thing, or sometimes he'll just not wanna talk and watch a movie with me. That's cool, I understand his work stress anyways - it's not like he hasn't let me know.

Later on that weekend, I took him to Dave & Busters Arcade and we had a blast. It was my way of having fun with him and helping him relieve some stress. He had a lot of fun, appreciates my effort to help him and he thanked me.

Besides that he likes to be able to handle his stress on his own. As a girlfriend, we should learn to let them de-stress and not add on to the stress. Everyone has their days where they need to "cool off" by themselves. We just gotta have more faith in them that they can work their own problems and be supportive. If they need our help, they'll let us know and we should give help with open arms.

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teasel
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posted December 01, 2011 12:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by T:
Cap rising here.

No, we often like to be left alone, weather we are bothered or not.

...but especially when we're p o'd.

best to leave us alone then.


This was the way I was going to respond. A member of my family is a Cap Sun, and when she's in a good mood, she's one of the most generous people I know, but when she's in a bad one... I never know whether or not I should ask if she's okay, because I've been yelled at for that, but I've also been yelled at for not asking. "Oh, nobody ask if I'm okay!"

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T
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posted December 01, 2011 02:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
*embarassed*

...um...yeah, we are totally like that

damned if you do, damed if you dont!

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T
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posted December 01, 2011 02:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
....sometimes we want people to bug us...and see what's wrong...

when that time is...?

well, we arent completely sure about that either. lol

tiptoe...?

though i would never want someone to feel like they are walking on eggshells...

sucks... we want to be left alone, but sometimes we don't even know our lonely limit...

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lindisfarne
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posted December 01, 2011 02:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lindisfarne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by teasel:
This was the way I was going to respond. A member of my family is a Cap Sun, and when she's in a good mood, she's one of the most generous people I know, but when she's in a bad one... I never know whether or not I should ask if she's okay, because I've been yelled at for that, but I've also been yelled at for not asking. "Oh, nobody ask if I'm okay!"

lOl I'm kind of like that. I hate when people ask "are you alright?" bleh too feeley but when someone doesn't acknowledge I'm upset I think "why hasn't anyone said anything?" but I prefer not to be bothered tbh...

when I care about someone though a whole new side of me comes out - I actually care and want to nurture them it's so opposite from my natural state.

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lindisfarne
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posted December 01, 2011 02:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lindisfarne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Starry~*:
My boyfriend has Mars in Capricorn and lately he's also been stressed about work. At home I'd give him his space, let him do his thing, or sometimes he'll just not wanna talk and watch a movie with me. That's cool, I understand his work stress anyways - it's not like he hasn't let me know.

Later on that weekend, I took him to Dave & Busters Arcade and we had a blast. It was my way of having fun with him and helping him relieve some stress. He had a lot of fun, appreciates my effort to help him and he thanked me.

Besides that he likes to be able to handle his stress on his own. As a girlfriend, we should learn to let them de-stress and not add on to the stress. Everyone has their days where they need to "cool off" by themselves. We just gotta have more faith in them that they can work their own problems and be supportive. If they need our help, they'll let us know and we should give help with open arms.


Glad to know someone else can relate. That was very sweet of you. I don't think we have that here in Canada ! but it sounds like fun... urgh I want to go to an arcade haha.

I have my mars in cancer, when I get attached to someone the nurturing motherly instinct kicks in I can't stop it but I can level it out. That's how I get with him, he tells me "rough week/not having a good week at work" I think "oh goodness! let me take care of you let me do whatever you can to help" then the Aqua kicks in and I go "nah, let him be" but I also reassure him time to time nice supportive things which work but backing off usually works. I'm not used to it I don't live with men I live with women and when someone's upset I like to nurture them depends on my mood as well... you're right on though with everything you said. I just hate the thought of anyone I care about going through any stress/hard time I naturally want to take their source of discomfort/pain away. I sound sappy but it's true of course I'll never admit this to anyone I know personally.

Btw that arcade place is it also a restaurant? Is it like Chucky Cheese?

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RegardesPlatero
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posted December 01, 2011 04:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
-

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YoursTrulyAlways
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posted December 01, 2011 05:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Of course, like clockwork, its playtime at 11 pm. Reduces stress quickly, unless of course, if little one refuses to cooperate and perform on occassion, in which case the stress may increase because the wife produces the dreaded pill. hahaha Don't know of another woman so serious about playtime. That's her valuable contribution to my de-stressing. Any regular guy would tell you that a woman's physical affection goes a long way.

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Starry~*
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posted December 01, 2011 07:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Starry~*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by lindisfarne:
Glad to know someone else can relate. That was very sweet of you. I don't think we have that here in Canada ! but it sounds like fun... urgh I want to go to an arcade haha.

I have my mars in cancer, when I get attached to someone the nurturing motherly instinct kicks in I can't stop it but I can level it out. That's how I get with him, he tells me "rough week/not having a good week at work" I think "oh goodness! let me take care of you let me do whatever you can to help" then the Aqua kicks in and I go "nah, let him be" but I also reassure him time to time nice supportive things which work but backing off usually works. I'm not used to it I don't live with men I live with women and when someone's upset I like to nurture them depends on my mood as well... you're right on though with everything you said. I just hate the thought of anyone I care about going through any stress/hard time I naturally want to take their source of discomfort/pain away. I sound sappy but it's true of course I'll never admit this to anyone I know personally.

Btw that arcade place is it also a restaurant? Is it like Chucky Cheese?


Don't think they have in Canada, but Dave and Busters is like a restaurant / arcade / bar.
http://www.daveandbusters.com/Default.aspx

It's like the more grown up version of Chucky Cheese.

Alot of my girlfriends are very nurturing to their boyfriends, so it's definitely a good thing! Afterall, they need the comfort from you and you need the same from him.

One thing about the Mars in Capricorn is that in order to work stress, they continue working..not to a crazy extent but they gotta work it through to de-stress. They need to find solutions and they think quite long and hard about them.

Heres some stuff said about Mars in Cap Men: (Of course, take it with a grain of salt, especially the sex part..every mars in cap men are different in their own ways..but I think the general idea of assertiveness/caution/providing is there):

"Mars in Capricorn is a very strong sexual nature, but so self-controlled that you'd never guess it unless you had an intimate contact with those people. Capricorn makes a big deal about control, so you put Mars in Capricorn and you've got a big deal about controlling sexual energy. And they can do it, and they can do it in an amazing way. I've seen Mars in Capricorn people remain celibate for years and years. These very same people at another time in their lives have been extremely active sexually. Mars in Capricorn in a man's chart is come on who is very cautious about asserting himself. Mars -- assertion, Capricorn -- caution. And so he's not going o come on too strong or too sexually until he knows it's safe. He doesn't want to be rejected. He hates the idea of being ridiculed and definitely wants praise. And Mars in Capricorn will often try to sell themselves on what they can provide, in the material sense. It's very hard to express affection and to let the sexual energy flow. But once they get into it, it's rarely boring -- very earthy, extremely earthy."

I wanna also mention, my bf has Mars Sextile Saturn also natally..so you can double that Mars in Cap for him!

Nevermind, make it triple - he also has Saturn Conjunct Sun.

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YoursTrulyAlways
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posted December 01, 2011 09:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Control? What control? Come on to every female that walks by! lol I haven't got an issue with expressing affection and letting sexual energy flow! Let's get it on, baby! lol

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hannaramaa
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posted December 01, 2011 05:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My Capricorn rising friend never cared if he was being bothered or not 'cause he chose to stay moody and depressed about whatever was upsetting anyway. I find Capricorn rising people very melancholy and hard to be around.

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lindisfarne
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posted December 01, 2011 05:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lindisfarne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
My Capricorn rising friend never cared if he was being bothered or not 'cause he chose to stay moody and depressed about whatever was upsetting anyway. I find Capricorn rising people very melancholy and hard to be around.

lmao!
how's the deal with the cancer guy?
ya Im just not gonna bother him, let him deal with his personal issues. I know what the problem is - it's not me - based on what he's said, the best I can do is offer support just like I do with anyone i care about, give them space and let them work it out etc. I feel like he's a closet depressive person he overdoes the optimistic thing and I do think it's a front most of the time. hm.

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Starry~*
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posted December 01, 2011 06:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Starry~*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by lindisfarne:
lmao!
ya Im just not gonna bother him, let him deal with his personal issues. I know what the problem is - it's not me - based on what he's said, the best I can do is offer support just like I do with anyone i care about, give them space and let them work it out etc. I feel like he's a closet depressive person he overdoes the optimistic thing and I do think it's a front most of the time. hm.

You won't know til he lets you in!

But once he knows you're there to take care of him and won't just peace out any minute, he'll learn to open up

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lindisfarne
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posted December 01, 2011 06:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lindisfarne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
true. they just move rreeeeeeaaaaallllllyyyyy slow.
slower than me. that's something!

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