Posts: 1108
From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011

posted December 07, 2011 09:59 AM            

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Im sure not all people with this placement apply. But I find they are difficult to communicate with. They go MIA for whatever reason. They are indirect and have a difficult time just saying what's up, and being upfront especially when asked.

I'm someone that, when I ask something, I expect directness. Direct answer, I'm not interested in hand-holding, sugar coating nonsense. If I ask you a question I expect you to answer it accordingly don't give me irrelevant nonsense, don't stumble and fumble just answer, and if you can't answer than tell me so I can spend my energy on more productive things.

Unfortunately with Cancer mercury and moon they seem to do this. Can't answer a question or communicate directly. They expect you to just know things, know what they feel, and know how to take care of them. But in the real world that's not how it works now is it?

Seriously, cancer mooners and mercurial folks, can you please give me a bone? How on earth can an Aquarius mercury, Pisces moon like myself deal with your indirectness? What am I supposed to do when you disappear for whatever reason and are so difficult to communicate with meanwhile your actions tell me something different? *hair pulling*

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Posts: 2163
From:
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posted December 07, 2011 10:08 AM            

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Put a gun to their head!

Nah honestly I don't know if it's possible to make them change their ways, but it *is* frustrating.

Hope to hear from some Cancer influenced folks though, they may have something productive to say.

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Posts: 1108
From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011

posted December 07, 2011 10:12 AM            

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When they become distant for whatever reason.
I think, okay this person is not happy, for whatever reason and if I ask and they still act distant I think, I must have done something, when I'm still asking because I need to know things I have to know things I need to know how things work what's going on and why they are going on it's just in my DNA... I need to know it's how i function and if I do not know I become insecure and I got to get out.... with that being said they still won't tell me and eventually i will get annoyed with these stupid ass head games. And then I'll leave them alone since they are behaving as if they want this, they'll be all "What? where did you go? Why did you disappear/leave?" wtffffffffff??!

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Posts: 2163
From:
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posted December 07, 2011 10:21 AM            

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Mhm, so true!

I wonder *why* do they do this? What do they expect? It's quite strange to me. I don't get it.

Maybe it gets better with time though? I guess they act that way in their youth and tend to become more direct as they get older and (hopefully) understand that it's quite annoying to always have to guess what's on their mind?

Meh. Cancer people, where are you? We need some clarifications!

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Posts: 819
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 07, 2011 10:32 AM            

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There's a lot of insecurity that comes with Cancer placements. There have been other threads discussing Cancer/water Mercuries recently, and one of the points raised by someone (can't remember who made the point) was that we don't like seeming like a nuisance by being direct. If we need to ask a favor or want someone to do something, we generally feel like we're being SUCH a burden and we'll side-step our way to indirectly suggest that we'd like it if it were possible for such and such to happen. We've got a strong need for security, so we don't want to risk p1ssing someone off by being brash and having them shun us. Someone being direct with us has to be done with tact. If we pick it up in their tone that they're being the slightest bit confrontational or aggressive, our defenses will shoot up. Personally, (Sun, Merc, Mars in Cancer), I'll hide in my shell when confronted because I don't shoot from the hip when it comes to communicating. Other Mercuries can come off as wanting answers and wanting them NOW and my Mercury just doesn't process thoughts as quickly as someone with an Aqua Mercury would. Then, if I sense impatience it'll just get me even more strung out. I'd say if you want to communicate effectively with Cancer, it's all about your approach. They need to be reassured that it's all okay, and you must convey it in your tone. We pick up on nuances and put more stock in that than actual words. It's just how we operate.

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From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011

posted December 07, 2011 10:33 AM            

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Cancer folks please reply.

Seriously how do you guys like to be communicated with? The direct route is obviously futile... When you go MIA what is that supposed to mean? When you get moody, and someone gives you space why would you get upset? What's with the push and pull, how do you want someone to talk to you about an issue without you avoiding or trying to get out of it....??? When's the best time to talk about issues that need to be addressed?

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posted December 07, 2011 10:53 AM              

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I'm a Fire Mercury who was dealing with a Scorpio Mercury and found that it is more effective to express what my Scorpio Venus desires than talk about Sag Mercury's analysis. His Scorpio Mercury seemed to lap that up and was surprisingly responsive to my irrational manic Scorpio Venus, while dodging Saggie Mercury whenever it popped up in all its glorious hoof-in-mouth candidness.

You have a Pisces Moon so there's hope... And if you wanna actually talk ideas without all the emotional context, you have all them seksi Geminis

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From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011

posted December 07, 2011 10:54 AM            

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quote:

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Fondue Knight

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I guess everyone is insecure in their own way...
just how fearful/insecure are they? enough to guard their feelings? Do they not forget things? at all? seems like they never forget.....

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From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 07, 2011 11:06 AM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
I guess everyone is insecure in their own way...
just how fearful/insecure are they? enough to guard their feelings? Do they not forget things? at all? seems like they never forget.....

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Well, Cancers are very nostalgic; we cling to the past with our claws. Other factors in the chart will determine just how vice-like that grip will be. I'm not really one to hold a grudge with small stuff, but if you do something major you can be damn sure I'm not going to forget how that made me feel. Speaking for myself, it's all about protecting the feelings. The insecurity stems from a ridiculously strong need FOR security. We don't wanna rock the boat because that invites the possibility of instability. Of course, that leads to clinginess and smothering and some people need a little more space. The whole going MIA thing... I used to do it more when I was younger. It's a passive aggressive thing. When I would get hurt I would shut the other person out and do the whole cold shoulder, etc. I'm much more aware of it nowadays so I try to curb it. It might be different for a Cancer Moon person maybe needing the space to sit with their feelings and figure them out? Also, I know when I used to do the passive aggressive disappearing act, I'd get ****** when whoever I was disappearing from didn't try to follow up with me and see what's wrong. I don't know why that makes any sense, but it seemed like the thing to do at the time.

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Posts: 321
From: Europe
Registered: May 2011

posted December 07, 2011 11:16 AM            

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Yes, immerse yourself in that moony state. Realised how well it works for me when I have to communicate with my quadruple pisces sister. In return Cancers are one of the most caring people I know, they really care.

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posted December 07, 2011 11:19 AM              

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quote:

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Originally posted by pandacake:
Yes, immerse yourself in that moony state. Realised how well it works for me when I have to communicate with my quadruple pisces sister. In return Cancers are one of the most caring people I know, they really care.

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Definitely the upside. You gotta take the good along with the bad since u can't really change people's basic nature

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Posts: 1108
From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011

posted December 07, 2011 11:19 AM            

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So you have to make them feel secure?

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From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011

posted December 07, 2011 11:28 AM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by Fondue Knight:
Well, Cancers are very nostalgic; we cling to the past with our claws. Other factors in the chart will determine just how vice-like that grip will be. I'm not really one to hold a grudge with small stuff, but if you do something major you can be damn sure I'm not going to forget how that made me feel. Speaking for myself, it's all about protecting the feelings. The insecurity stems from a ridiculously strong need FOR security. We don't wanna rock the boat because that invites the possibility of instability. Of course, that leads to clinginess and smothering and some people need a little more space. The whole going MIA thing... I used to do it more when I was younger. It's a passive aggressive thing. When I would get hurt I would shut the other person out and do the whole cold shoulder, etc. I'm much more aware of it nowadays so I try to curb it. It might be different for a Cancer Moon person maybe needing the space to sit with their feelings and figure them out? Also, I know when I used to do the passive aggressive disappearing act, I'd get ****** when whoever I was disappearing from didn't try to follow up with me and see what's wrong. I don't know why that makes any sense, but it seemed like the thing to do at the time.

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It makes sense... the last bit.
My friend is like this... does exactly what you described
when I don't contact her she gets even more upset

boyfriend does this too.. except I do contact him and he lightens up a lot more... I always wondered "why is he thanking me so much? it's just a freaking call..."

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Posts: 819
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 07, 2011 11:37 AM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by lindisfarne:
It makes sense... the last bit.
My friend is like this... does exactly what you described
when I don't contact her she gets even more upset

boyfriend does this too.. except I do contact him and he lightens up a lot more... I always wondered "why is he thanking me so much? it's just a freaking call..."

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He's thanking you because your call reassures him that you do care.

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Posts: 4367
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted December 08, 2011 05:24 AM            

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Posts: 4367
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted December 08, 2011 05:28 AM            

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Posts: 4367
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted December 08, 2011 05:36 AM            

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