posted December 22, 2011 06:27 AM            

At this point I figure it's because my Libra Moon conjuncts Pluto - and is in the eighth house, no less. My execution probably just comes off really intense or creepy to them or they misinterpret it as insincere because of the level of intensity so I usually don't bother anymore, I just keep it to myself.

posted December 22, 2011 06:40 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I have a Venus conjunction with Pluto (in Scorpio, of all planets).

I know that people might pick up that I'm "intense". However, people have had different reactions to that. Some don't like it. Some LOVE it, like my Scorpio best friend. Others don't quite know what to do with it.

Then again, if people KNOW that you are "just intense", would they take it into consideration? If people know you enough to know that you just kind of are "that way", would they have the emotional intelligence to not always take it so seriously or personally?

I mean, I know people who *aren't* intense that I used to find cold, but, as I've gotten to know them, I've figured out that they are "just that way" and they don't seem as cold to me.

I personally LOVE IT when people give me intense compliments, as long as it is not romantic or sexual in nature. I do get uncomfortable if people say that I have a "nice figure" or that I'm "shapely", which I've heard before, but I have an intuitive sense even then of when a person is being creepy and when a person isn't meaning it "that" way.

I personally don't compliment people on their figures/how they look; the furthest that I'll go is to compliment a woman on her hair or outfit or shoes. I almost never compliment men unless they have a cool accessory.

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Yeah, if you have Venus-Pluto too (I have them parallel myself), I'm thinking it's definitely that your intensity when you do it either creeps them out, or they read it as over-the-top and figure you're being fake.

I think if you probably compliment people who know you well and know your general temperament it probably goes over better, but those that don't...

posted December 22, 2011 06:45 AM            

I have libra in the 11th cusp and I have venus in leo which I think you have as well so perhaps this is why since our 11th cusp perhaps represents who we treat our friends and it is ruled by venus which in our case is leo and leo is expressive and warm.

My guess is that is perhaps a libra and leo working dynamic.

posted December 22, 2011 06:48 AM            

i cant help it, i like pleasing people, im never insincere about it though but im the most likely to compliment ur new hairdo even if everyone said it was way too short, i'd be like

"its good ur changing, change is good,"

I don’t care what people think, I’m a nice person I don’t like hurting people’s feelings, if they want raw honesty or people who keep their feet in their mouths they better find themselves a sag or a gem.

posted December 22, 2011 06:48 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:
I like complimenting others as well, always have. I see it as a way of expressing love.

I have libra in the 11th cusp and I have venus in leo which I think you have as well so perhaps this is why since our 11th cusp perhaps represents who we treat our friends and it is ruled by venus which in our case is leo and leo is expressive and warm.

My guess is that is perhaps a libra and leo working dynamic.

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It's weird that you just mentioned the Leo aspect because a second ago it suddenly occurred to me that having Mercury in Leo probably doesn't help and makes me come across even more intense and dramatic when I express myself or give compliments.

posted December 22, 2011 06:50 AM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I hope that it's "over the top". I really really hope that people don't think that I'm creepy. As I said, I never say anything romantic or sexual to people. I don't flirt, either. So, people wouldn't be creeped out on *that* level.

To be honest, I'm a little worried about how people perceive me. I'm trying to be more confident in myself, but dammit, why do I have to constantly watch EVERY little thing that I do? That gets annoying. I also don't think that it's really fair to have to have my natural expressiveness drowned out just because "people don't like it". People do things that I don't like and I keep my mouth shut to them about it and either learn to tolerate it (if it's not that big of a deal) or tune it out.

I do admit, though, that I can be over the top at times. When I do things, I like to do them well. I put a lot of effort and thought into things that I do.

Also, can people still like you even if you have a fault like intensity (if they consider it a fault)? I mean, other people do things that I find irritating, but I still like them--can other people do that too, or am I just weird?

I can't help but wish that I could just be myself and relax and not worry about these things so much, but I want to succeed, so I have to play the game at least a little bit.

So, if you do annoy someone by being expressive, how bad is it? If you just stop talking to them, or just talk to them minimally, can they learn to get over it?

On the bright side, it does make me appreciate the more expressive people.

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I think too that what you have to remember is you can't please everybody. No matter what there's always going to be someone that dislikes you or busts their @$$ looking for flaws in you - that's just how people are.

posted December 22, 2011 07:02 AM            

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Originally posted by Venus:
hey RP, im Libra sun and mars (also scorpio venus and pluto) and i throw out compliments like no tomorrow..

i cant help it, i like pleasing people, im never insincere about it though but im the most likely to compliment ur new hairdo even if everyone said it was way too short, i'd be like

"its good ur changing, change is good,"

I don’t care what people think, I’m a nice person I don’t like hurting people’s feelings, if they want raw honesty or people who keep their feet in their mouths they better find themselves a sag or a gem.

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This reminds me of a convo on another board, months ago - someone asked for advice like, "If someone asked you for your opinion on their hair or makeup or outfit or something,and you didn't like it, what would you do?"

I said I'd compliment what I did like about it - like, if I didn't like the haircut but I liked the color, I'd mention how nice of a shade their hair is; or if I didn't like the color makeup they had on, but it was well-applied, I'd mention that it was well-done. I just wouldn't mention the parts I didn't like.

People came in later implying that was dishonest or insincere and I couldn't grasp that. Apparently the 'right' answer is that you're supposed to tell them it doesn't look good or even start giving them instructions on how to apply makeup properly...my whole thing is that unless someone is an @$$ to you, you should try to be positive and uplifting in your comments, rather than critical or destructive.

posted December 22, 2011 07:06 AM            

the thing is dont try to hard to change yourself, complementing people is NOT weird or creepy its nice and sweet..

but if you find certain people have a bad reaction to a compliment, you can either:

1) tell them to remove the foot thats up their a$$ (say it politely like a genuine Venusian )
2) just stop complimenting them, they are not worth it..

look you and i are very similar, im october '89 btw, i tried to become "less nice" and more "edgy".. i cant.. this is me.. i like me

posted December 22, 2011 07:16 AM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I agree with you SO MUCH!!!!!

I wouldn't say that I didn't like something. I would focus on the good too.

I also wouldn't say that I liked something if I didn't. To me, THAT is dishonest. Focusing on the good isn't dishonest. It's only when you lie about liking something that you don't like (or disliking something that you do like) that's dishonest. After all, when you focus on the good, you aren't pretending that something is good if it isn't.

I guess I look at it like highlighting favorite lines in a book. You highlight what you like. Doesn't mean that you're ignoring what you don't like, just that you're focusing on what you DO like. I don't see what's wrong with that!

If someone asks me directly for a negative answer to something, or if someone asks me a very direct way question, I will be honest and gently point out the negative, but, even then, I'll still focus on the good.

I think too that it's as I pointed out on the thread about air signs being superficial. Libras KNOW that there is ugliness and bad out there; we just don't feel the need to harp on it constantly. This comes across as "dishonest" to some people.

I also think that there is a difference between simple "honesty" and "brutal honesty". People who pride themselves on being "honest" like to tell the truth, but are tactful about it, and are constructive. People who take pride in being "brutally honest" tend to delight more in the "brutality" side than the "honesty" side.

I agree, too, about thinking before you speak. I don't think that this is dishonest. I think that words are VERY important and it's good to choose them carefully. I don't see why others have an issue with that.

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posted December 22, 2011 07:18 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Venus:
yes RP people do like me, not all of them , just like there are people whom i dislike instantly its only natural..

the thing is dont try to hard to change yourself, complementing people is NOT weird or creepy its nice and sweet..

but if you find certain people have a bad reaction to a compliment, you can either:

1) tell them to remove the foot thats up their a$$ (say it politely like a genuine Venusian )
2) just stop complimenting them, they are not worth it..

look you and i are very similar, im october '89 btw, i tried to become "less nice" and more "edgy".. i cant.. this is me.. i like me

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posted December 22, 2011 07:21 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BelligerentPygmy:

This reminds me of a convo on another board, months ago - someone asked for advice like, "If someone asked you for your opinion on their hair or makeup or outfit or something,and you didn't like it, what would you do?"

I said I'd compliment what I did like about it - like, if I didn't like the haircut but I liked the color, I'd mention how nice of a shade their hair is; or if I didn't like the color makeup they had on, but it was well-applied, I'd mention that it was well-done. I just wouldn't mention the parts I didn't like.

People came in later implying that was dishonest or insincere and I couldn't grasp that. Apparently the 'right' answer is that you're supposed to tell them it doesn't look good or even start giving them instructions on how to apply makeup properly...my whole thing is that unless someone is an @$$ to you, you should try to be positive and uplifting in your comments, rather than critical or destructive.

And actually I find most Sags and Gems grating for that reason and can only take them in small doses; to me they seem thoughtless at best or heartless at worst. I don't think the lack of ability to think before you speak or your ability to say exactly what you think, even if it hurts people, is a good thing. And I think it's possible to be both honest and non-destructive to people. It's weird to me that people can say things that hurt people but they actually feel pride and noble about it like "At least I'm honest and saying what I really think!".

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i was most def. in that old thread.. it ****** me off when people call us dis-honest! me? dis-honest?! because i dont want you to feel bad about yourself and weep ur eyes out?!?!

posted December 22, 2011 07:43 AM            

if someone doesnt respond to me i honestly ask if something is wrong..

posted December 22, 2011 11:15 AM            

Well I'm a Libra Sun with Venus in Leo. I'm generous with compliments only with people I know and care about. I usually don't compliment people I don't know because I still need to do some Mercury in Libra character evaluating. When I know someone I shower them with compliments and gifts, ones that are deserving not superficial fluff to unnecessarily inflate someone's ego or bait for compliments for myself.