posted December 22, 2011 07:10 PM            

This is about past life and love. I am not a strong believer in “karmic” astrology – but several astrologers have told me that my love life in this life (not very happy, to say the least) might be influenced by strong karmic factors from one of my past lifes. One astrologer even told me: “It looks as if you’re missing someone from the past – and that you cannot open up to love in this life now because of that old, great love you’ve lost.”

Now I studied my own chart – and I think, maybe the astrologer is right …?

What do you think?
And: Do you see a possible solution in my chart? I mean: A way how to overcome that “old love pain” and find a new strong love in this life?

This is my natal chart. I will point out several “special” positions and aspects below the chart.

“Spooky/karmic” factors in my chart:

- ASC conjunct Orpheus (who lost his lover Eurydike)
- ASC conjunct Neptune
-
- Venus conjunct SN (past life) 0 dg. – opp NN (this life)
- Venus square Neptune
- Venus square ASC
- Venus square Orpheus

- Psyche conjunct DSC
- Psyche conjunct Saturn
-
- Stellium of Vertex, Aura, Destinn, Aeternitas in 8th house (house of Scorpio/Pluto/Underworld)
- Sun, Mercury, Mars in 8th house
- Scorpio (ruler of 8th) on the ASC
- Pluto (ruler of 8th/Scorpio) cj. MC
- Pluto as my chart ruler

- Vertex opp Eros (Eros in Capricorn – ruler of Saturn – Saturn conjunct my Psyche)

- Sun/Moon-Midpoint at 8 Libra – conjunct the fixed star VINDEMIATRIX (star of “widowhood”)

- Sun/Moon-Midpoint (in 10th) oppose Chiron (in 4th)
- Sun/Moon-Midpoint cj. Eurydike (who lost Orpheus)
- Sun/Moon-Midpoint cj. Uranus
- Sun/Moon-Midpoint square Vertex
- Sun/Moon-Midpoint square Eros
-
- asteroid Karma in 7th house of partnerships

posted December 23, 2011 06:22 AM            

Your south node would be Virgo.

South node = past patterns, deep desires/needs. Your north node is how you should go about achieving them. It is always opposite your south node, so you have to use your opposite in order to meet your needs and use the tactics/traits of that sign to get what you want.

I'm still in the early stages of learning about nodes, but that's how I understand it.

------------------
*I use the whole sign system*

Personal Planets:
Sun, Mercury: Libra
Venus: Scorpio
Moon: Cancer
Mars: Capricorn

posted December 23, 2011 07:32 AM            

But,
Does it feel to you like you have past karma in relation to love? Do you intuitively feel this?

I feel this way and I have karma conjunct my venus/mars and NN in Gemini in the 7th. I was probably a male bachelor in a past life who avoided commitment, and my philosophy of life revolve around the self and survival. In this life I need to balance NN in the 7th with NN in the 1st and increase my communication skills in one on one interactions, both by listening to others attentively and by perfecting how I deliver my messages. Lessons about cooperation and functioning in an interdependent relationship were both parties are equals and function like a team.

posted December 23, 2011 08:46 AM            

I read it twice and thought about my personal "love pattern" again, about the factors that always lead to some kind of disappointment or disillusion again and again ... And with me it's always about being very (!) compromising, tolerant and forgving ... but it doesn't lead nowhere.

I had 4 major relationships so far (lasting 1.5 years, 2.5 years, 5 years and 9 years). 3 of these guys have cheated on me (which I think is almost the "normal case", I hardly know any relationship where that doesn't happen). Their cheating never (!) was a reason for me to split up immediately - especially since I always appreciated that they told me about it and asked "sorry". Of course, I was angry, but I always understood that it's not necessarily a sign that they don't "love" me ...

But somehow there's that pattern: I am quite serious and true, when I'm in love myself - and I am proud to say, I never "cheated back" or anything. Never!!! But the guys ... they just don't manage to live up to that, in a way.

And after all ... it was always me who has left them, after a while, sometimes after years. I have never been the one who's been "put down", it's always me who says "Sorry Baby, I've got to go...."

And I recognized that sooner or later I DO lose faith in that kind of partner, not only because of their eventual "cheating", but on a more basic, encompassing level ... losing faith in their "strength" or "intensity", just losing interest, in a way.

All this might have to do with my Venus-sq-Neptune and Venus-sq-ASC, basically. (too many illiusions/high hopes) - and with my "exacting" Venus in intellectual/moral 9th house in Virgo. And with my my strong Scorpio-traits - really digging deep, searching for "the real thing".

The very funny or weird thing is, though: Since I am single (for 3 years now), the guys are really "after me", haha, I cannot complain about being not looked at or something... BUT: 8 out of 10 of the guys who try to get closer in one way or another are definitely coupled up or even married with another woman!!!!! So: It is the CHEATERS who are after me!!!! (Of course I seldomly engage in such kind of an affair or adventure.)

So, I am just asking myself: Why do I have to struggle with the "cheating"-factor so much - when I myself have never cheated in my whole life??? Really: I just cannot do it - either I'm in love - then I'm not at all interested in someone else, not even superfically/erotically, and you can totally rely on that, I just don't develop any "ffeelings" for anyone else. OR I am not in love (anymore) - that's the moment I will tell you (Moon in Sag in 1st House - I'll just plainly tell you, haha) - and leave you.

So ... in a way I am tolerant and try to live with all these "human faults" and try not to judge or punish anyone for this ... But on the other hand: The way I love, it is very, very "either-or". And, to be honest, I don't really wanna work on changing that - because I think the way I love is good, very sincere, and deep and honest.

But I just don't get the same in return. I never found that. Hm.

posted December 23, 2011 09:34 AM            

I completely understand that you want someone who will be faithful bc you give yourself completely so naturally you want someone to give themselves completely to you and I completely respect if you break up with anyone that cheats on you. What I would worry is if you break up in bad terms bc then that means something needs to be healed and that there is karma that needs to be overcome so you and that person will meet yet again to try to eliminate karma.

When I am with someone who gives themselves completely to me BODY AND SOUL and I to them, who gives me the spiritual sex that I need a few times a week, cheating doesn't even cross my mind and I dont get interested in other people. When my need for spiritual sex is not fulfilled then I am capable of cheating.

posted December 23, 2011 02:14 PM            

These are significant relationships you are talking about, in which you have been betrayed; and because you carry in this life-time, significant self-esteem issues regarding your place/worth in Home/Family -- you gave them all a pass to do it again.

I am not at all passing judgment, we each have our own patterns of treating ourselves poorly, and that is how/where we teach others to treat us. Chiron is often a clear indicator to me, perhaps moreso than the Nodes, of this deep, dark, innervoice that speaks to us of all that is wrong with us - and subconsciously creates situations for others to validate it.

Awareness of Chiron's message allows us to learn from it and not carry it forward to the next life. I have Chiron in Taurus, 2nd House. Feeling like I'm not good enough for the rewards of my efforts is my complex. I suppose with it in Aries, the complex is feeling like your truest nature isn't good enough for yourself, so how could it be good enough for anyone else? That's a tough one - I know others with the same placement. Their hearts' are always broken or breaking someone else's in an effort to avoid the suffering of attachment to love.

Learn more about Chiron, heal yourself - you'll find that there's nothing wrong with you but believing that voice.