posted January 05, 2012 07:56 AM            

At age 4 I began practicing Taekwondo, I was always a good student in the Dojo. But when it came time for my first tournament at age 7 and I froze out to the point where I couldnt even make the fight. So I sort of removed myself from the idea of participating in any tournaments, It wasn't untill age 12 that I decided to return to compete in tournaments, dismissing my age 7 fears as "silly fears any 7 year old could have experienced". I then participated in 3 straight tournaments at age 12, and to my surprise, my level of nerves was so unbearable I could baerly move before the fights. And this time around, nerves were not just when I was about to fight but they lasted the whole week before the tournament. So imagine an entire week with nerves so high you can baerly move.

Then at age 16 I discovered I enjoyed performing comedy in front of my classmates. Wether it was Stand-Up, doing impressions/imitations to perfection...I did it they loved it. So despite having various doubts once again about my high nerves, I for some reason thought I would learn to deal with it and once again said to myself "stop acting like a little girl and lets do this". I began working as a proffesional Stand-Up Comedian on a local theater bar for 2 years. I still dont know how I did it because those 2 years were so nerve wrecking I basically forgot to live relaxed. I had to perform shows about 3 times a month and like in Taekwondo, nerves were not just before the show but whole weeks prior to them. In other words,for 2 years I spent 3 out of every 4 weeks of every month. On top of that I was dead serious working on becoming a ssocially concious rapper. All this made me hate nerves so much, that instead of feeling acomplished after every show, I felt more like "Im so glad the nerves are over"...

So in late 2010...It was as if my body clearly told me "just leave everything thats nerve wrecking and give me peace"

And I did, I retired from doing Stand-Up Comedy, and I dropped the idea of becoming a rapper (or doing any kind of live performance for that matter). Instead I focused on working as a television actor wich since it's not a live recording, nerves are almost non existant. At first I felt completley happy because I wouldn't have to deal with the nerves I hated so much. But at the same time in the back of my mind I felt deeply sad because having chosen this road would mean I wouldn't get to acomplish all of my live performing dreams. (Not to mention I felt extreemley jelous of other people who felt 0 nerves).

In esence its furstrating as hell because it's a lose-lose situation. If I stay as a TV actor, I dont have to fight the extreme nerves but I dont acomplish my live performing desires. But If I chose to acomplish my live performing desires, that means living a life of extreeme nerves for every second of the rest of my life?

I personally blame it on My Virgo Moon, and my Virgo Mercury wich in essence say "Im a very anxious and nervous person on the inside and mentally".

ANY type of help,feedback and/or comments will be VERY apreciated. Here's the rest of my natal chart If it helps the help/feedback:

Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Placidus Orb:0
Sun Leo 29.18 Ascendant Scorpio 18.03
Moon Virgo 25.30 II Sagittarius 17.18
Mercury Virgo 23.10 III Capricorn 17.28
Venus Leo 10.42 IV Aquarius 19.06
Mars Taurus 25.23 V Pisces 21.12
Jupiter Leo 0.55 VI Aries 21.18
Saturn Capricorn 19.29 R VII Taurus 18.03
Uranus Capricorn 5.49 R VIII Gemini 17.18
Neptune Capricorn 12.04 R IX Cancer 17.28
Pluto Scorpio 15.13 Midheaven Leo 19.06
Lilith Sagittarius 2.29 XI Virgo 21.12
Asc node Aquarius 7.14 XII Libra 21.18

posted January 05, 2012 08:46 AM            

Personally, I don't think that doing TV means that you have to entirely miss out on other things. It might mean that you don't get to do them full-time, but, as an actor, you can always bring your skills into your roles, even if it's subtly. Alfonso Ribeiro, for example (American actor; played Carlton on "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"). He was able to bring his singing and dancing talents (and he is very talented!) onto the show. So, it's entirely possible that you could bring your other skills into your acting performances. Even if you don't do live comedy or rap on the shows themselves, you can always use the same skills (such as comic timing, or how you say words/how you deliver words, etc).

Perhaps as you go on in your TV career, more ways will open up to you as to how to merge your other skills with your TV performances. So, I would not say that you have to do just one or the other--you can maybe focus on one area, sure, but it's always at least possible to bring in your other gifts and not to discard them or forget them entirely.

Also, what techniques have you tried to help ease your stage fright? I'm not saying that there is a 100% guarantee that you could lose all of your anxiety, but perhaps if you were to work with someone trained in this area, you could eventually (with time, effort, hard work, and dedication--not a quick or easy thing) arrive at a point that you can at least manage anxiety while onstage.

*PS

Since I haven't seen you around much on the boards, and notice that you haven't posted much....

posted January 05, 2012 09:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mintgirl123:
That's silly. I'm a virgo sun and mars, and it's never held me back from anything.

If you believe, be fearless and work towards that goal! Don't give up. Feel the fear and do it anyway. =)

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posted January 05, 2012 09:36 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Capriquarius:
I don't understand the format of the data you posted, but if there's something holding you back and you can't put your finger on it, it's prolly 12th House issues.

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Planets:

Sun in Leo
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Virgo
Venus in Leo
Mars in Taurus
Jupiter in Leo
Saturn in Capricorn
Uranus in Capricorn
Neptune in Capricorn
Pluto in Scorpio

Houses:

Ascendant Scorpio 18.03
II Sagittarius 17.18
III Capricorn 17.28
IV Aquarius 19.06
V Pisces 21.12
VI Aries 21.18
VII Taurus 18.03
VIII Gemini 17.18
IX Cancer 17.28
Midheaven Leo 19.06
XI Virgo 21.12
XII Libra 21.18

posted January 05, 2012 10:07 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
Would it be possible to work your way to a happy medium? Could you ever rap on TV, or use your taekwondo skills on a show?

Personally, I don't think that doing TV means that you have to entirely miss out on other things. It might mean that you don't get to do them full-time, but, as an actor, you can always bring your skills into your roles, even if it's subtly. Alfonso Ribeiro, for example (American actor; played Carlton on "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"). He was able to bring his singing and dancing talents (and he is very talented!) onto the show. So, it's entirely possible that you could bring your other skills into your acting performances. Even if you don't do live comedy or rap on the shows themselves, you can always use the same skills (such as comic timing, or how you say words/how you deliver words, etc).

Perhaps as you go on in your TV career, more ways will open up to you as to how to merge your other skills with your TV performances. So, I would not say that you have to do just one or the other--you can maybe focus on one area, sure, but it's always at least possible to bring in your other gifts and not to discard them or forget them entirely.

Also, what techniques have you tried to help ease your stage fright? I'm not saying that there is a 100% guarantee that you could lose all of your anxiety, but perhaps if you were to work with someone trained in this area, you could eventually (with time, effort, hard work, and dedication--not a quick or easy thing) arrive at a point that you can at least manage anxiety while onstage.

*PS

Since I haven't seen you around much on the boards, and notice that you haven't posted much....

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Thank you very much for your response. I apreciate it.

The think I also dislike about being an actor is that, you dont really get all the recognition, your character does. At lest thats how I've always felt it. Lets take the Friends cast for example, David Shwimmer said that he encountered numerous ocassions when after the show ended he tried to be a theater director but that his students would want him to "be ross" rather than direct them. And thats something I would really hate if it happened to me...(and it happens to almost every actor)

And part of the reason why I had chosen to become a comedian/rapper first is because of that reason, people recognize you, not your character. My biggest desire is to gain recognition for myself (Leo Sun, Venus, Jupiter and 10th House)...Me being an actor could earn me recognition but not exactly the one I want.

posted January 05, 2012 10:18 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ProudestLeo:
Thank you very much for your response. I apreciate it.

The think I also dislike about being an actor is that, you dont really get all the recognition, your character does. At lest thats how I've always felt it. Lets take the Friends cast for example, David Shwimmer said that he encountered numerous ocassions when after the show ended he tried to be a theater director but that his students would want him to "be ross" rather than direct them. And thats something I would really hate if it happened to me...(and it happens to almost every actor)

And part of the reason why I had chosen to become a comedian/rapper first is because of that reason, people recognize you, not your character. My biggest desire is to gain recognition for myself (Leo Sun, Venus, Jupiter and 10th House)...Me being an actor could earn me recognition but not exactly the one I want.

(Yeah I know, Im very nit-picky and hard to please...)

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You're thinking too much about what other people might think of you. That's your problem. That is the reason you're so nervous on stage and at the same time so eager to be there.
I think everyone cares about the opinions of others but you do it too much. Don't build your career around things like that. Do what you like.
For the example of David Shwimmer not being taken seriously there are other examples (like Will Smith and George Clooney ) who became famous through a TV show and now can play whatever they want.
So don't dwell on the negative! Be positive!

posted January 05, 2012 01:42 PM            

You sound similar to me, but different artistic paths. Right now, I'm struggling with the idea of becoming a writer. I've been told my whole life that I should go in that direction. However, I hate to write! Can't stand it. Even though I have some good creative placements, the thing that holds me back the most is that people will actually read what I write. It's easy for me here, because we're anonymous. Ages ago, I did have an article published. My first and only one. It was in a major newspaper, too. When I saw my name on the byline, I was mortified. I *Hated* it! I wanted to crawl under a rock and never come out. I couldn't wait for the next newspaper to come out, so my article wouldn't be there.

I have Uranus and Pluto in the 5th in conjunct. I'm told that's a huge creative placement. Plus I have NN in the 3rd house of writing, conjunct my Part of Fortune. It seems almost like a destiny thing that I should just DO it. Yet I keep daydreaming more about doing it, instead of actually DOING it! Agh! Well, I do have Mars, Sun and Jupiter in the 12th house, which probably isn't helping matters.

New Year's Resolutions aren't my thing. I believe if you want to change something, then go ahead and do it. You don't need a set date. Well, this year, I have a whole pack of different resolutions. One of them is to just *write*. I'm going to start a little blog, and I'm going to go over a bunch of half-written stories. No matter what, I'm going to *make* myself write, and I don't care if no one sees it, or if I send everything out hoping to be published. I'll just DO it, like the Nike commercial says.

posted January 05, 2012 02:23 PM            

I am exactly like you are, though. I get nervous about performing and at the same time, I am drawn to it like a moth to a flame (cliche, sue me, lol). I've found it it is critically important to have a good support system--not just people who support your career, but people who support you those who truly understand what is essential to who you are. There is a big difference. Most importantly, though, you MUST support and believe in yourself in a way that no one else can.

I had something else to say..oh yes. I've also found the people who are 'most shy' and timid about performing--they are generally outstanding. That isn't to say those who aren't this way aren't 'as good.' But the MOST exceptionally talented people I know who eventually steal the spotlight do so effortlessly. Mostof the time, they don't even realize HOW exceptional they are because they undervalue their unique talents for one reason or another. They are severely underexposed and have underacheived due to their highly self-critical nature(s). And I include myself in this as well.

I'd love to learn more about you and talk about this if you'd like. We are the only thing that stands between our dreams becoming reality--most of the time. I love encouraging and supporting people in pursuit of something they are passionate about. In this case, it just happens to be your career as well!

posted January 05, 2012 04:55 PM            

I never really liked to do speeches, but drama was LOVE.

posted January 06, 2012 01:08 AM            

I second what Mintgirl said. I have 3 Virgo planets, and they've never held me back from performing. My parents put me into the performing arts ever since I was a kid (theatre, dance, piano), and though I always get a little nervous before a performance, it's never to the point where it's uncomfortable (maybe a few butterflies in the stomach before I go onstage, but not much else). There was a point in high school where I was so used to performing that my nervous 'symptoms' were incredibly minimal.

So... I don't think it's the Virgo planets. Keep in mind that one of peoples' biggest phobias is speaking (or doing anything else) in front of a crowd. Don't feel like you're out of the norm for this. You aren't... Most people have issues with speaking or performing in front of crowds- some just more than others. I've known people who would vomit before every performance because of how nervous they were.

posted January 06, 2012 01:16 AM            

Comparing Mars and the ability to perform in front of people, I find Leo and Virgo to be supah good at performing. I come alive in the spot light or in front of people. C:

posted January 06, 2012 03:10 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RedScorp:
Hmm...could it be the Mars in Taurus? My Taurus friend has a Mars in Taurus as well and she haaates doing anything in front of the class, crowds, etc. (Mercury and Venus in Gemini)

Comparing Mars and the ability to perform in front of people, I find Leo and Virgo to be supah good at performing. I come alive in the spot light or in front of people. C:

But what about those things (like the tournaments) did you fear? Was it failure? The people watching?

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I cant really pin point it to being afraid of one thing or the other. It's more like as soon as the tell me "you are going to perform" my whole body freezes (often,the nerves are so much that I have no choice but to lay on the floor motionless).

posted January 06, 2012 03:24 AM            

Virgo won't stop you from doing what you love (for god's sake! Virgo works hard to make a dream come true). BUT the Virgo moon can be notorious for self-criticism. As a Virgo sun with an Aries moon, I have witnessed this moon and it feels like it talks down to itself and is about a million times more worrisome and cerebral than my own Virgo sun which is very prone to nonstop worry. It can eat you alive if you let it - it takes feelings and swallows them and them processes them as words but then loses the feeling while doing that. It can self-sabotage. A healthy self-esteem is important , because at the first sign of problems, a Virgo moon can gnaw at the insecurities until they are gaping holes. Don't give it an excuse. My brother has this moon and he is really gregarious but always has told me that he feels trapped in a bubble, like his real self cannot come out. He has had to just work at self-acceptance and really taking in people's compliments and soak them up since he is not comfortable with that.

But keep in mind - Mercury is EXALTED in Virgo. This is the place you want it to be. It makes up for a lot. Don't rag on the Virgo dammit!

posted January 06, 2012 04:09 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MyVirgoMask:
I don't mean at all to insinuate you didn't! Unless you mean the chart :/

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