posted January 05, 2012 01:38 PM            

** I understand Pisces need their time and I give him his space. He is always doing for others, but he will not accept emotional or physical assistance. He has explained himself as "the horse" pulling the wagon. The horse does all the work and cannot complain while the people in the cart are allowed to whine. I offered that sometimes it is okay for him to be the person in the wagon. He told me, No, that is not how it is with me.

posted January 05, 2012 02:42 PM            

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Originally posted by StelliumH6:
I would like advice. My Pisces friend has been in a funk. He has a lot of stress coming from all directions, especially with his job. I tell him I want to help out in any way and he declines, saying he has to do it. It breaks my heart to see him down. Please suggest any ideas to cheer up a Pisces man.

** I understand Pisces need their time and I give him his space. He is always doing for others, but he will not accept emotional or physical assistance. He has explained himself as "the horse" pulling the wagon. The horse does all the work and cannot complain while the people in the cart are allowed to whine. I offered that sometimes it is okay for him to be the person in the wagon. He told me, No, that is not how it is with me.

Suggestions, please.

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Which came first, the friend or the Pisces (who happens to be your friend)?

I am not sure of the length of your relationship or how close you actually are, but I would say review how this person responds to such scenarios (from what you are stating, they just tug along).

The hardest lesson I've learned is to accept people, as they are. If someone does something in a way that is unhealthy for them, try to help. Give an ear, lend a hand. If they insist upon doing it, you must let them act as they please. It is a very painful process, but critical, especially for those of us who are very nurturing. You don't want to see people down, right? But, we have to remember that we cope with life and we make our own decisions [most of the time].

A Pisces told me this, if that makes this any better for you. The Pisces I've known have been very...interesting characters. When they wanted my help, they sought me out (granted, they trusted me). Anyone needs time to figure things out on their own. Do what you can, but do not overextend yourself and become exhausted (you seem very empathetic) with this. Nothing good will come of that, for anyone involved. Just be there if and when he truly needs you, the rest is completely up to him and his responsibility. You seem like a good friend, so I applaud you for your concern.

posted January 05, 2012 03:20 PM            

I thought a Pisces I was supporting was hopeless but as soon as I left and he couldn't lean on me anymore, his life started improving. I donno, maybe I was the problem!

posted January 05, 2012 06:03 PM            

For example, I am the amateur psychologist, counselor, mediator, etc for alot of the people that end up in my life. I will swim someone's depths with them and bring them back to safety. I am the person people I do not know will stop in the hallways at school and say "I know you don't know me but I've seen the kind of person you are and I think you are caring and that you can keep secrets" and then they proceed to tell me deep, private things that are going on in their life. And I am not just talking about reltionships with other water signs here! No, I'm talking Sags and Virgos and Leos -all those signs with reps for not opening up? I've seen male Sags cry and Virgo women really just LOSE it. And I just held them, consoled them, sifted and reasoned and supported them for the hours or months or however long it took for them to figure it out. Even when alot of their self-destructive energy turned outward? I stayed a friend. You get the picture. Now when I went through the most horrid period of my life? At first, yes they were there. And then I noticed instead of truly caring for me they were taking advantage of my 'weakened' state. And my secrets and problems suddenly weren't secret, etc. And when (FINALLY) confronted about these things waaay later? I was just made out to be an over-indulgent problem child that was psycho or something! Imagine! The very things that I shield a person from their own psyche from and help them through they will despise and reject me when I go through! It is very much like the mothers who force their children to mother them kind of thing. And this has been with many people and many signs, etc. It is the 'give a person an inch and they take a mile' aspect of humanity. When a Pisces gives people quickly feel entitled and want those positions to stay the same. Pisces being mutable wants to allow themselves to feel everything that they go through as a path to truly letting go. So when Pisces decides that they deserve to feel sad, or angry or whatever, people that want only the over-giving side of Pisces quickly become infuriated and label Pisces as 'wishy-washy', 'unstable', etc. -completely ignoring the fact that it is only through truly feeling all that you can have true balance (and completely ignoring all of the horrible and nasty traits that THEY have that Pisces loves them through!).
As a result of this backlash after a certain point Pisces just stops trying to rely on people. They do it all themselves, they release from others and proove that they were as capable as others said they were not. They reject all interference because they know that, as much as Pisces IS prone to dependency, others are just as prone to trying to keep Pisces dependent, 'in their place' and 'scattered'.

I just had this with a woman I REALLY thought was my friend. She subtley (scorpio) sabotaged TWO of my school projects right at finals. The first time I didn't even flinch, forgave her without thought that it was intentional and chalked it up to me needing to make sure I was in class more. The second time I pointed it out to her (not badly)and she got angry at me. When I held my ground she became angrier and when I walked on to class she became infuriated. I did none of this loudly, harshly, maliciously. It was a conversation that needed to be had for the sake of our friendship. So what did she do? LITERALLY, tried to ostracize me and leave me out in class and from classmates and school stuff. So I just cut my 'connection' (a pisces thing, I can't necessarily explain. Just if we care about you we have this intuitive/psychic channel with/toward you) and put myself in the front of class and let my creative self come out. And I've stayed that way. Positive, hard working, socially shining now that I've cut her. You think she'd apologize or try to rekindle over that minor thing? NOPE. She loathes the fact that I 'came out from under her' and that I 'changed my place' and wants to twist it like I am 'changeable' in a bad way, etc. But that's not the truth. The truth is she was always the way that my Pisces eyes are finally seeing her. Yes, I am mutable -but she's FIXED as how she wants to be!

Sooo, yes that was a big piscean circle answer lol. But it all relates and answers the question! We act out a bit of who we are tempered with who we are 'supposed' to be. It's all true but we can only maintain it as long as it really feels vital and necessary. If your friend is hanging on to things he should let go of in your opinion he has deep subconscious and conscious reasons for doing so. We pisces are not like fire signs that can do whatever the blank we want and fare well! Others really have a strong force to shape us and we have to fight for who we want to be (internally) as well as who we don't want to be (externally) in a very emotional, psycological way. Balancing that with what is expected of us in the real world adds more pressure to the cooker. We know people have high expectations of us without actually believing that we can get much done and so when we turn 'on' we go full force all we've got, lone shark, no turning back. *If we don't accept supposed good intentions we do not have to crash in pain when it turns out it was another hoax to take advantage of us* Believe me, only a Pisces could know all the ways there are to manipulate a person because it's HAPPENED to us!

So what we need is consistency. Not logical consistency but heart, mind, soul, intentions, consistency. Meaning that you GENUINELY love and support and believe in him AS HE IS and understand that he is taking the path that HE needs to TRULY UNDERSTAND ALL OF HIS LIFE LESSONS!!

Seriously, if you could pull that off he might love you for the next 3 lifetimes lol. THAT is how we love our friends -unconditional, understanding, and we LET THEM VENT BUT NEVER HOLD IT AGAINST THEM!! I know other signs think that we just must, must, must but (us good ones) we don't ever! We just be patient and (even though you may give us ulcers and heart attacks and bad nightmares) with the things you put yourself through we just LOVE you -which helps you have the strength to do the best for you (whther that is noticed or not). THAT is what we truly need. Because (again us good ones) we truly do not do ANYTHING, however dumb it turns out to be, with bad intentions!

It really will be wonderful if you could help him in this way. If he keeps going as you say he is, unfortunately, he WILL pisces crash. Pisces crash just as deep as we were high and we make ourselves suffer for it! If that happens (I hope it does not!), he will need you then too.

Good luck and I hope that helps!

posted January 05, 2012 06:19 PM            

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Originally posted by Capriquarius:
Pisces is "Mutable Water." His emotions will adapt, as will he, to the situation. So if you just leave him alone, he'll simply adjust to that situation.

I thought a Pisces I was supporting was hopeless but as soon as I left and he couldn't lean on me anymore, his life started improving. I donno, maybe I was the problem!

People close to him had been advising me to do that for years, to just leave him so that he can learn to deal on his own.

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This completely ^. Pisces is opposite Virgo and just as equipped to assess and overcome complex situations. Many Pisces project a more helpless illusion than what is true, because if they are constantly being underestimated then they always have the upper hand.

posted January 05, 2012 06:38 PM            

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Originally posted by Capriquarius:
That totally describes my Pisces ex. Only a Pisces can understand another Pisces.

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HAHAHAHA I was hoping it wasn't ONLY another Pisces hahahaha

posted January 05, 2012 06:41 PM            

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Originally posted by Neptune'sDaughter:
So what we need is consistency. Not logical consistency but heart, mind, soul, intentions, consistency. Meaning that you GENUINELY love and support and believe in him AS HE IS and understand that he is taking the path that HE needs to TRULY UNDERSTAND ALL OF HIS LIFE LESSONS!!

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This, is what is important.

Hopefully this will all be helpful for the OP. I do think it is REALLY important for all of us (I struggle SO much with this) to let people learn the lessons they are meant to learn in life. Not doing so can easily turn into codependency or those people might have their 'learning experience' delayed. And honestly, for those who are able to--trust your intuition. Intuition is never fear based, or anxiety driven. Trust what your intuition is telling you about the situation and your friend, just act within reason.

posted January 05, 2012 06:44 PM            

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Originally posted by Neptune'sDaughter:
HAHAHAHA I was hoping it wasn't ONLY another Pisces hahahaha

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Originally posted by Xiiro:
What they need more than anything is to know that their loved ones appreciate them unconditionally.

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They really can deal with anything, anything at all, if this condition is fulfilled.

posted January 05, 2012 06:51 PM            

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Originally posted by StelliumH6:
He has explained himself as "the horse" pulling the wagon. The horse does all the work and cannot complain while the people in the cart are allowed to whine. I offered that sometimes it is okay for him to be the person in the wagon. He told me, No, that is not how it is with me.

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posted January 05, 2012 07:42 PM            

He has been burned in the past because he does it all himself. He releases from others and proves that he is capable. His family and friends automatically assume he can handle every problematic situation. He is relied on by everyone. It is true that he is given the role of doing the services others to not want to do, and he does act how he is "supposed" to be.
I feel it is overwhelming him and I would like to take the hurt away.

posted January 05, 2012 08:05 PM            

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Originally posted by FireWire:

And Neptune'sDaughter, you are a wonderful writer, btw. Even though I don't agree with what you say about Pisces (as in, I don't think all Pisces are this way at all, you sound very genuine and almost innocent in a way), you bring up some great points I think the OP can really find helpful--I did also. Thanks for such an authentic post and contribution! Very sincere! [/B]

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Awwww Thank you SOOO much Firewall, that really touches my heart!! Mercury in the 12th is not always heard and I'm so glad it came across!

Also, in recently years I have come across the 'bad fish'. I was so shocked and hurt!! How could they even use our good energies these ways?! So, yes I agree about the baddies. I think in a way bad pisces can be the worst of all 'bad signs' because we should care and intuit so much -and when that insight is used for bad it is just evil! :-(

posted January 05, 2012 08:16 PM            

I mean that if we are sad we need to get to the bottom of our sadness. A Pisces NEEDS to cry until they are dry. We have to be able to feel we are angry until we are done with the emotion -but that is not enough, we MUST look to the root and UNDERSTAND WHY WE WERE ANGRY. We REALLY have to FULLY express our emotions externally so that we can look at them and trace back to the root cause. It is very much like an artist (very piscean trait) in that alot of times artists do what they FEEL and when they look at it after the expression part is done, they can SEE themselves in it and understand more about who they are.

I'm not saying we should be allowed to be crazies lol But I did not understand that I was 'allowed' to be angry or irritated and EXPRESS that until I was 22!(I'm 24) But it was such a revelation to realize that I could say 'No!' or stamp my feet and cry to my friends when a guy did me wrong or whatever else I needed to express -and that I could do it until it was CATHARTIC. Cry until I am rejuvenated. Etc.

I hope that helps :-)

posted January 06, 2012 03:11 PM            

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Originally posted by Capriquarius:
^ Can I ask what his ASC is? Neither of the two Pisces I'm close to cave under pressure. At all. Stubborn as mules. One has Aries rising, the other Cap.

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