posted January 18, 2012 01:48 AM            

I get this soo often and it bothers me but I try to take it as a compliment that people think I'm being adored and looked after. Tonight some random guy mentioned that he thought I was very young and basically well-taken care of by my father and it finally just really hurt me. I'm really struggling right now and utterly alone without support from any family. My close friends and I help eachother when we can but that's not the same. I'm not looking for a father figure but it's infuriating to work so hard to make someone of yourself only to have the common chime to be that I must be well-off, spoiled, and have everything laid out by my daughter-lovin' daddy -which I don't have.

I have saturn in cap on the tenth which might add to this. I also have Neptune in Cap there which may be the cause for this 'illusion'? Saturn in the ninth maybe why people think a 'daddy' is paying for college/travels? -or that could be mars in taurus in the second.

Although mars in taurus may seem to suggest a secure father figure the man that gave that mars to me was NOT, hence my mars square venus and opposing moon/pluto. He is severely physically abusive and there is suspicion around my baby sister's death. That's why I have Scorpmoon conjunct pluto -my mom became a criminal justice student. That's also why that aspect opposes the taurus mars. Pretty cut and dry. The saturn in sag in the ninth is the guy my mom was married to that I called 'dad'. He was in prison almost my whole childhood and is back there now (they're divorced) when he was out he abused my mom, stole from the family and ruined the security my mom had built for us on her own. I spent every other weekend and holiday time having to visit that ******* in prison -I have a 12th house pisces sun and merc. My mom married him in prison (they already had two kids together) -she has 12th house neptune. And the pisces sun? Well, the man my mom TOLD me is my father (and that he left her when she was pregnant) I have found out is also a march-born pisces.
Remember that solar eclipse this past november? Well, for pisces it was in our tenth house of father. A few days before it I was suddenly just completely and utterly ready to find this absentee. I was on the bus to work and the thought slammed into my head 'i should find my birth father'. I made my Scorpmoon proud. Hey, use whatcha momma gave ya. Two hours later I had gotten in contact with him -even though my mom hadn't been able to track him down for YEARS -and she was a semi-private investigator and background checker. It was just TIME. (funny about that eclipse, this absentee who is also a pisces was contacted by his other estranged daughter a day or two before me out of the blue. He was also sought out a few days before that by HIS estranged father. Also, my good friend who actually shares Absentee's bday, was able to track down info about her birthmom in the weeks following. Her mom is her 'significant parent' because her father is dead.) Anyways, Absentee tells me this whole other story of my life and faxes me pictures and court documents of a blood test showing that he's not my father. Saying he wanted to be in my life but my mom wouldn't let him in my life unless he paid child support which made no sense. The sad part is when I was seven I was flown down to see him. Instead of staying all summer I was 'returned' after a month and a half. I was only seven but dammit I could count! So I started having a bit of abandonment issues then but didnt know it. I just wanted to protect my mom. F'd up thing is everyone but me knew I wasn't his kid when I got sent down there. He claims my mom got scared he'd keep me and demanded me back. He says his family always accepted me. Years later I went to school with his nephew and re-met his sister and they did call me cousin/niece. Yeah so now Absentee wants some kind of relationship but I've kept it distant. The last time I talked to my mom about a year and a half ago she kept telling me to find Absentee and that he owed her child support. That's exactly why I didn't. I do not know if her saying he is my father is one her delusions or if she really believes he botched the test. (they did two because my mom claimed he had his brother or friend who both look like him do it for him. That's why they took pics after. I was like 2 or 3 and don't remember it) The thing is if not Absentee, my father is either her ex at the time or Absentee's BROTHER who is now dead. I guess my mom denied the former but no one dared ask the latter, though they think I have family resemblance.

Ugh, so nope, no Daddy's girl. Hopefully those placements and how my life's played out can help someone learn/realize something useful.

Interesting I do get a lot of readings that say I have multiple placements and degrees that mean I'll have sizable inheritances: some through spouse and mentor and a few THROUGH THE FATHER SPECIFICALLY! (Absentee is actually thought to have possible inheritance through his lineage.)

Oh, I've heard Jupiter referred to as 'The Great Father' and I have it conjunct my ASC, Sun, and NN..

I'll post my chart and if you see anything else father-wise feel free to let me know! Thanks!

EDIT: Fresh Chart: http://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=e&gif=astro_2gw_02_sp.81220.64885.gif&res=100&va=&cid=ir0fileTNlY5H-u1317405555

posted January 18, 2012 02:30 AM            

Yeah, I have double neptune illusion with the tenth also having neptune there.

Oh yeah my sun is intercepted and in the cusp of aries too.

Hmm I've never gotten a past life reading with anything about the father... Don't know what I could've done for bad dad karma!

posted January 18, 2012 05:12 PM            

I never talk about this people so if you know about somethings please let me know! I usually just get all this figured out myself but I am trying to be open about this particular topic and get even more exhilarated growth. Thank you!

posted January 18, 2012 05:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sand:
your chart expired..

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Didn't know that could happen lol hold on, Sand!...

posted January 18, 2012 06:02 PM            

Harsh Saturn aspects, difficult Sun-Pallas aspects with Neptune affliction; ruler of the 10H afflicted, and, potentially, Sun-Neptune issues.

Check the Arabic Parts which correspond to the father, as well.

posted January 18, 2012 06:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
Just shooting in the dark here.

Harsh Saturn aspects, difficult Sun-Pallas aspects with Neptune affliction; ruler of the 10H afflicted, and, potentially, Sun-Neptune issues.

Check the Arabic Parts which correspond to the father, as well.

-AMP

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Good idea about the parts -they kind of freak me out though LOL

posted January 18, 2012 06:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sand:
dats still gonna expire you hafta upload it to image shack, imgur, or photobucket or something.

try looking at saturn as mom and sun as dad, u as the moon. i see they square. and your moon (you)semi squares saturn (mom)too. no idea about the sun in h12 biquintiling the moon tho and how to piece it together. or maybe you should just post in this thread coz that's where i got those planet assignments anyway. mine's around post 254 or so..
http://forum.astro.com/cgi/forum.cgi?num=1307214656/240#240

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Oh yeah that's right lol. I don't have photo-anything on my work computer

Aww thanks for the link EDIT: Zip! Sand I'll try that too

posted January 18, 2012 07:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
Just shooting in the dark here.

Harsh Saturn aspects, difficult Sun-Pallas aspects with Neptune affliction; ruler of the 10H afflicted, and, potentially, Sun-Neptune issues.

Check the Arabic Parts which correspond to the father, as well.

-AMP

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Hmm no sun-nep, sun sq saturn adn semi-square moon tho and opposing chiron (hmm chiron is in gemi in my third house that has a gemi cusp. I know the 3rd house in gemi= many siblings. I wonder if the saturn opp chiron here is the sign of my siblings and I having different fathers?..) My sun is actually trine my Pallas! This is weird as my sun is pisces and my pallas sag -but it is only 1* sag so it reads like scorp I guess.. Saturn is the ruler of my tenth too. My sun is squar emy uranus, ceres, and MH and sesquiquadrate my pluto. Funny, it opposes my Libra Vx which is my meaningful and fated relationship and meetings.

posted January 24, 2012 02:45 AM            

Yes, I got it but that's for another thread LOL

Here's my NATAL lol:

Fyi I did this all on mobile lol