posted January 20, 2012 06:13 PM            

And I have personally witnessed this by my Virgo man laments on my "intelligence."

Suppose I am smart enough, but when I try to add something intellectual to the discussion, I get shot down in flames...

huh?

posted January 20, 2012 06:19 PM            

Basically:

Defeating a dumb person intellectually is no victory.

posted January 20, 2012 07:07 PM            

I'm not saying it's one of our better traits, but it is there. Try to be patient (easier said than done). Or... In the very least, let your partner know that he is upsetting you by always shooting down your opinion/thoughts on the matter. You also have something valid to add to the conversation.

posted January 21, 2012 09:56 AM            

Malena, points to ponder, when he tells me I am way "smarter" than him...

Capriquarius, it is not really about discussions of any form, cause I have learned to say nothing so as not to get belittled to hell...Pisces has No problem keeping their thoughts to themselves,, just when I do say something I always get a negative response...reminds of my mother growing up, another Virgo, never any support and all negative...

Geminisquared..thanks for the input!

enchantress, very, very good response! The thing is I have been patient, for more than a year now...I have always setteled back into myself, kept my mouth shut cause I know how they are, was raised with one (and it has taken years for me to let her more into my life due to her lack of support and constant critisizms while grownig up.) But if he doesnt cool it, he will surely send this Fish swimming,,,I KNOW, absolutely know it is you'all's way, but constant negative feedback can destroy the Pisces. And I have had success in the past by gently letting him know how his behavior is effecting me. He will stop then back again, in full force. One day, out of his mouth "I am going to stop being so hard on you", it was good while it lasted! Once he even told me he talks out of his a** too much, I have always told my mother this and she realizes that she should keep her mouth shut at times too!

He can be such a friggin game player, when I do say something, and it is always gentle and brief, I get, later "you dont love me" etc. all the games....

posted January 21, 2012 12:02 PM            

I hope you don't give up on us Virgos entirely. My water signed friends are actually some of my best 'mirrors' so to speak, because they will point out when I'm being a jerk or I can tell by how they react. Then I usually try to tone it down.

What does upset me is that lately they've taken to making fun of the fact that I 'don't like anything.' That's not true, I'm just very prone to saying that I don't like something when I don't like it. Sure, everyone else in the room may like it, but WHY SHOULD MY OPINION AFFECT EVERYONE ELSE'S? That's usually the way I think about it. They seem to think I'm being a buzzkill though. So lately I've been TRYING to keep my mouth shut, but they always see the look on my face and then ask me: "What?" Don't ask if you don't want to know!- Always a good rule of thumb for Virgos.

BUT... I will say this- Pisces especially tend to seem extra sensitive to us, and a lot of times we simply don't understand that we are really genuinely hurting you. To us, it's a 'fact.' To you, it's insensitive. To be honest, I know I've hurt some of my Pisces friends and I'm STILL not sure what I did. I do try to watch their facial reactions now though, as usually that really tells me what's going on. You see, a lot of times Pisces simply won't tell us exactly what's wrong either, so we don't get it.

What Moon sign/Rising sign is your boyfriend btw? There can be different ways to approach it based on other aspects in the chart. If he's got a fire moon too, he's going to be prone to being impatient and he's not going to be as aware of your emotional states.

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He can be such a friggin game player, when I do say something, and it is always gentle and brief, I get, later "you dont love me" etc. all the games....

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That may not really a game per say- that's a Virgo feeling guilty as hell and really being worried that you will leave over something minor. We seem think people will leave over minor things (not seeing the forest for the trees, as usual). But we do like to play the martyr...

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Most of the time I dont care, I know where it is coming from, but like I said, if he doesnt give me alleast one positive feedback for every ten....then he should probably read up on Pisces~

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posted January 21, 2012 12:47 PM            

I catch myself defending the Pisces in this equation with thoughts about verbal abuse. Virgos may not mean bad but their overanalysis and focus on the negative and the criticism can easily cross some fine lines (boundaries). It's one thing to simply state what you don't like and totally another to direct your criticism toward someone else all the time. I get it they have standards but in the end of the day either accept your partner as she is (and shut up) or leave? Not fair to subject the other party to constant criticism, negativity and put-down's. It does border to emotional and verbal abuse.

If you didn't have your mother history I would say "maybe not" but it seems this is a pattern in your life, being with people who feel free to criticize you all the time and hence violating your boundaries. I hope you REALLY speak up to him before his behavior ruins the relationship.

posted January 21, 2012 02:31 PM            

My Virgo Moon friend was also pretty bad about this - she liked to "be honest" about other people's shortcomings, but if you ever told her that her shirt clashed or you didn't like her favorite song, she would get very hurt and offended.

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That's not true, I'm just very prone to saying that I don't like something when I don't like it. Sure, everyone else in the room may like it, but WHY SHOULD MY OPINION AFFECT EVERYONE ELSE'S?

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OK, I had this problem with my Virgo Moon friend. Whenever I liked (for example) a movie and she didn't, it would go like this:

Me: I liked the part where X happened.
Her: The movie was stupid, I didn't like it.
Me: ... okay, nevermind.
Her: *change subject*

It was pretty demoralizing, especially since it happened over and over. I don't expect anybody to share 100% the same opinion with me, or to pretend to like something they don't. But just bluntly saying "Well I don't like it" kills the conversation. It's rude because it's basically telling me "What you like is so bad it's not even worth discussing."

If it was the other way around, where she liked a movie and I didn't, I would usually try to focus on what I did like about it so that we could continue the conversation. Like, "I wasn't crazy about the movie as a whole, but the lead actor was really good." Or "I didn't like what I ordered at that restaurant, but maybe next time I'll try another dish on the menu that looked good."

So it started to feel unfair - we could talk about things SHE liked because I was making the effort to meet her halfway, but we could never talk about things *I* liked because she would just say "I hate it" and the conversation would end. It was selfish of her, to be honest.

posted January 21, 2012 05:35 PM            

Will get back soon...just finished dinner with family...

Gosh, really, everything you ladies say makes sense and I see it, day to day in my Pisces~Virgo relationship!

posted January 21, 2012 07:01 PM            

quote:

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If it was the other way around, where she liked a movie and I didn't, I would usually try to focus on what I did like about it so that we could continue the conversation. Like, "I wasn't crazy about the movie as a whole, but the lead actor was really good." Or "I didn't like what I ordered at that restaurant, but maybe next time I'll try another dish on the menu that looked good."

So it started to feel unfair - we could talk about things SHE liked because I was making the effort to meet her halfway, but we could never talk about things *I* liked because she would just say "I hate it" and the conversation would end. It was selfish of her, to be honest.

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Hmm... I see your point. Now, I don't come right out and say that something is stupid. I will say I don't like it, and to me, there really just isn't anything more to say. Why discuss the finer points when I didn't enjoy it? Let's discuss something else that we can agree on then. And there ARE things that we can agree on. I guess that goes along with my dislike of small talk anyway.

I rarely get offended when other people say they don't like something that I do like, because I am so USED to it (that could be my Uranus aspects though). Now, I will get offended if they say they don't like something about ME, because then it's personal.

At the same time, it seems strange to me when people always have to agree with everyone else. It seems like a need for validation, whereas it seems like they should be comfortable in their own opinions and thoughts.

This:

quote:

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If it was the other way around, where she liked a movie and I didn't, I would usually try to focus on what I did like about it so that we could continue the conversation. Like, "I wasn't crazy about the movie as a whole, but the lead actor was really good." Or "I didn't like what I ordered at that restaurant, but maybe next time I'll try another dish on the menu that looked good."

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Isn't always necessary to us, because just as we don't want to discuss something we don't like, we also don't necessarily want to have to discuss something YOU don't like either. I would much rather have someone just be honest with me and say: "No, I don't like that," and then we can move on to another topic.

However, Pisces (and some Libras and other water signs) will engage in this out the need to please or empathize, when I think it really doesn't matter to a lot of Virgos (except for those with Libra probably). Virgos tend to call a spade a spade, so any extraneous talk is just that.

But again, I can really only speak for myself, and not ALL Virgos... I know there are some very sensitive Virgos and very unevolved Virgos out there as well...

But yes, I do see your point Malena, and also, I try to curb my innate tendency for this when I'm around my water signed friends as a result. I learning to keep my mouth shut as much as possible to avoid offending them when I don't agree about a movie/song/political topic/etc... Doesn't really matter though. They still tease me about not liking anything. Unfortunately my reputation is not something I can undo so easily.

posted January 22, 2012 10:48 AM            

anon, yes i have been the recipiant of verbal abuse by my mother, when i was younger, got into a terribly emotionally/verbally abusive marriage and a few things that bfriend has said are boardering on it. yes i plan on telling him how deeply this affects me. btw i have Virgo on the 10th and Pisces on tth 4th and find myself with an internal struggle at times, as well as to the Virgo/Pisces interactions.

malena, dish it out and cant take it are the poster phrases for both my bfriend and my mother!!! neither of them, especially the bfriend, can not handle anything negative coming their way. one time i mentioned that robert plant looked gay and boy i never heard the end of that...(zepplin his fav band)

o and enchantress, yes i view our relationship as a mirror sometimes..i always like the notion that what we dont like about somebody else we dont like about ourselves...and yes, my almost 20yr old Aqua daughter tells me that he is afraid he is going to loose me.

posted January 22, 2012 01:56 PM            

i have a soft spot for virgos cuz they fall in my 8th often cj my NN or saturn. my fave two virgos trined my chiron exact though in early virgo. they didn't get under my skin at all but two virgo risings (one also a virgo moon) were very tiring indeed. the weird thing is, you KNOW this stuff isn't personal (cuz you see they do it with everyone!) but it can be exhausting. well one was hypercritical. he was the virgo AC/moon and was also a cancer sun so extreeeeeemely subjective person who thought he was the most enlightened/objective person in the world (i swear) and though YES he did have really incredible and great insights he couldn't stand even ONE *suggestion* that perhaps he didn't know ..everything.. by way of any *minor* contribution to his endless thought-processes which in any way contradicted them in the slightest. okay this is one guy i saw briefly who was a good friend beforehand, a good guy to be sure but was obsessed with 'reforming' my mind by gutting it completely and inserting his logic into the void, more or less. but i'm a stubborn aqua and there was no way i would let that happen. interesting dynamic. his moon was exactly on my NN so in many ways i was very receptive to him and found him to be refreshing but the know-it-all criticisms and massive subjectivity squelched it (like, he took offense at things that weren't happening AT ALL that had to do with his own fear of rejection stuff and tried to CONVINCE ME that he knew better than i did what i meant/was doing, etc when these things happened). in fact it ended our friendship because he is so insistent that he knows ME better than i know myself and would rather assume certain things that were absolutely not true and that meant i didn't like him or was trying to hurt him, usually my quirky aqua stuff would set him off in this direction. SIGH.

posted January 22, 2012 02:36 PM            

Yea, I figured it was not necessarially personal. BF told me about a small finincial error his mother made, and I tell ya, IF he went off on his mom with the energy that he told the story, I would have crawled off cried then died!

posted January 22, 2012 02:52 PM            

quote:

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A Virgo is not afraid to correct you.

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Very true.

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enchantress, no not giving up entirely you are a very "enlightened" Virgo and you seem to know yourself very well! i dont know his asc or moon, he doesnt know his birth time and thinks astrology is a big crock...so i didnt ask but one time. however, looking at the ephemeris, he is most likely a virgo moon...venus, merc as well... and i would bet a whole bunch of money that he is a cancer asc. looks like a cancer, misses home, (1500 miles away on a nursing contract) anxious to get home and loves mom! a homebody that adores animals, puts up with my 6 cats and 1 dog all indoor.

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Thank you.

So he probably has a Virgo Moon, Venus, and Mercury as well? Well that's just a whole lot of Virgo! I have all of those except for the Virgo Moon. It's just going to intensify the Virgo in him, especially because he does have the Moon there which will affect his feeling nature as well. I haven't known a lot of Virgo Moons specifically, but the earth moons that I have known (mostly Taurus Moons) seem to hold on to emotions and situations for a long time. It's like the earthy nature of the moon doesn't allow emotions to just flow out. That's what it seems like to me anyway.

And with a possible Cancer asc? That might be true if he really likes to be coddled. Cancer influenced men need their ego to be really catered to in some respects.

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but in general i love virgo energy. it is by nature very HELPFUL and the criticisms are intended this way. i tend to think of them as what happens when virgos are not relaxed. they are going for PURITY and discernment; making sure they get it right and there is a strong link between the rational mind and this endeavour and how it relates to health. so yes wonderful things, some just get out of hand, as with any sign.

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I agree with this statement Whoa Cakes.

posted January 22, 2012 03:24 PM            

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Originally posted by enchantress299:
I agree with this statement Whoa Cakes.

I would add that a lot of Virgos tend to 'throw the baby out with the bathwater,' which is to say, that when we dislike one little thing about something (focusing on details as usual), we will sometimes automatically dismiss the entire argument/statement/movie/band/etc, regardless of whether or not the rest of it has merit. Virgos can learn from Pisces in that they can learn the overall merits/values of things, if they take the time to listen and not just focus on that one part. We have a very hard time with that. I'm guilty of it too. We get frustrated when something isn't working for us and we'd rather trash the whole situation if it's something we can't 'help' with or can't figure out.

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Well you certainly have the nail on the head more than once re: MY Virgo!

Yep the least little disagreement arises and I get "never mind, dont want to talk about it anymore..." etc.

posted January 22, 2012 06:01 PM            

My uncle and mom are completely different and I am similar to my uncle who is sag with virgo rising and I am a virgo with sag rising.

As a virgo sun I am not super perfectionist bc my strongest sign is sag and strongest planet is neptune but I am still in many ways like a virgo. When someone says something that I know is wrong or might be wrong I call it out. I dont do it though bc I think I am intellectually superior though bc I dont think that, I tend to think that people are just as smart as me or smarter. I am far from been intellectually narcissistic and the people that I call out when I think are wrong or might be wrong are usually the ones who think are always right not the other way around. I call them out bc of practical reasons in order to avoid them making a decision that is going to affect an outcome even if is something small or big negatively. When I call someone out for been wrong or the possibility of been wrong I am taking precautions.

posted January 22, 2012 06:10 PM            

Also when I was in D.R. I saw my best friend from childhood and his wife, my husband, him and I went to the beach and we were all in the water having fun, laughing. His wife is sag and best friend has virgo rising.

posted January 22, 2012 06:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hippichick:
So, they like intelligent women?

And I have personally witnessed this by my Virgo man laments on my "intelligence."

Suppose I am smart enough, but when I try to add something intellectual to the discussion, I get shot down in flames...

huh?

Or is the Virgoan need for an intelligent partner merely a projection of what they want buy may not have?

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some men like intelligent women but prefer to hear the sound of their own voice like my husband he likes that I am smart bc he wants to be with a chick that understands what he is saying when he talks and that contributes OCCASIONALLY to topics of his choice that he starts. For the most part I feel he likes to be topic starter and just wants occasional contribution and someone that understands what he is saying and listens to him talk. He is libra with gemini rising. He does have three planets in the 6th: mars, uranus, and neptune. He acts more virgo by far than me with his libra need for perfection combined with those three planets in the 6th.

posted January 22, 2012 06:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:
some men like intelligent women but prefer to hear the sound of their own voice like my husband he likes that I am smart bc he wants to be with a chick that understands what he is saying when he talks and that contributes OCCASIONALLY to topics of his choice that he starts. For the most part I feel he likes to be topic starter and just wants occasional contribution and someone that understands what he is saying and listens to him talk. He is libra with gemini rising. He does have three planets in the 6th: mars, uranus, and neptune. He acts more virgo by far than me with his libra need for perfection combined with those three planets in the 6th.

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Very, very interesting take...thank you!!!

posted January 23, 2012 06:06 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mintgirl123:
Some men that have arrogant tendencies would want to only hear the sound of their own voice. Some men do want a smart woman they can bounce ideas off and have discussions with. It just depends on the guy. Don't think it's a virgo thing specifically. Some virgo guys aren't like this.

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when your sun receives a hard aspect from an outer ie: Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto, then it takes on and sometimes can be overshadowed by the outer. So, (doesn't matter what sun sign) if it were conj Saturn, it would express more like a Cappi/Saturnian, if it were conj Uranus it would express more like an aquarius/Uranus, and same for neptune, it would be more like pisces/neptune and lastly pluto conj sun would be intense, controlling, demanding and express more like a scorpio/plutonian...