posted January 29, 2012 05:05 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PrettyPisces:
Ive known this boy for 10 years. Been the best of friends for 5 years. he asked me to be with him a couple years back but at the time he just got out of a relationship, and I didnt feel like it came from the heart. plus I just had left for college and I didnt know if the long distance thing was the best for the both of us.
he's direct with him being affectionate and caring and supportive but yet ambigious with his feelings towards me he has said things like:
"I need you a friend someone that truly understands me and cares, Im tired of playing games."
He asked me am I single I said YES! then he went into these huge details lol of how he was waiting for the special one to come around then Im gonna show her all my love and appreciation but until then Im gonna wake my turn every one gets a chance its just what you do with it . I WAS like WHOA! he's emotional which I love about him.
My confession is I actually love him, and I can see my life with him BUT he needs to prove himself and Im in college about to graduate. I need him to understand that school comes first, but I give reassurance that I care for him. things that bother me regarding him: He gets mad if I talk about parties, and college social life. He says he doesnt want me messing around with guys and getting myself caught out there. But hes a lil jealous. Whenever Im busy with school he feels neglected and disappears from me. I also feels he goes back to the basics...basic females that is!
He's been gone for weeks withn contact, just like its over and he always comes back, but I have to beat this cycle and let him go he's hurting me

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Honestly, he has no right to tell you who you can and cannot hang out with, and what you can and cannot do. That is VERY controlling, especially since, to my understanding, you're not even officially a couple!

Plus, he is VERY forceful about his feelings and a bit disrespectful. It feels like he thinks that you OWE him a relationship just because he likes you, and that really isn't fair or right. Maybe I am reading more into this than there is, but I just get that vibe.

I also say that it is good that school comes first for you. Guys may come and go, but a good quality education is forever and is useful not only because many jobs require (or at least want) a bachelor's (minimum), but also because a university/college education really teaches you how to think and opens your mind.

If he cannot understand and support your healthy and sound goals, and is telling you not to hang out with people while he himself is doing that, then frankly he doesn't respect you. He sounds very "machismo-minded": as in, the traditional "me man you woman" type.

I see this as an unhealthy type of Cancer.

I hope that whatever you decide is for the best.

Never compromise yourself for a man or let him take your individuality and freedom away from you, and never let him make your decisions. You are always you and are always your own self, and you belong always to yourself. Your life is yours to live as you choose and is yours to share--or not--with whom you choose.