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Author Topic:   Cancer Men
Yin
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posted March 06, 2012 09:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you for all the feedback.

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hippichick
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posted March 06, 2012 12:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, my grandpa is a Cancer and he is one of the most amazing men, ever...Survived WWII, then came home to find a very sexy Scorpio, married her (my b-loved grandma), and took care of her till her dying day...

He has told us many stories, now that she is gone (kept quite to honor her till then) about her very (Scorpio) ways, domineering, etc. but he stood by her side and gave her an ultimatum only once...

Which she gladly took.

My horror story is my creepy exbf Cancer, Sun, Mars and Venus, tight conj in the 8th, Cap moon and Scorp asc (ours exact degree) so his creepy 8th house faults fell into my 8th as well.

This man was posessive, jealous, a looser for all accounts of what a man should be in my booK (at least hold employment), a woman hater, who projected his issues with his mom onto me...gosh the list could go on and on.

This man has been inappropriate with BOTH of my daughters and the eldest is a lesbian for gawd's sake and the youngest was a minor...

When I got wind of the first paragraph, I tried to break up with him, over and over and over, but I was just a year out of a terrible marriage and so STUPID! The second paragraph happened when I finally did break up with him.

He has stalked me for 9 years now, and my youngest. He doesnt know where my eldest lives, nor will he.

They say a Cancer loves for life? THIS kind of love I can surely do without.

Bad thing is, anytime I come upon a man with something in Cancer, I freak...tho my sun is in the 4th so I should know better.

My youngest used to have a Cancer gf, who was her best friend for years. This young lady, tho I loved her as a daughter, was insecure, promiscuous, back stabbing and the friendship dissolved when she began to date an ex of my youngest's and didnt have the decency to tell her.

I would have to say, that unless a Cancer man had the maturity and loyatly that my grandpa does, and I am taking into consideration age and generation here, I will pass up a Cancer man every time...

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Yin
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posted March 06, 2012 01:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow, hippi. I'm so sorry to hear about your bad experience with Cancer men. Surely, not all of them are like that but I can understand why you would hesitate to ever get involved with a Cancer man.

Tell me more about your grandpa and how he related to your grandma - I want to hear the good story.

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hippichick
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posted March 06, 2012 01:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, my grandma was always very domineering, according to my mother. My grandma and grandpa raised me and my brother, pretty much, but my mother said by that time, grandma had chilled.

But my grandpa tells the story of going back home to Indiana, walking down the street to see a very sexy lady, in a short skirt watering her lawn, (this had to be in the 40's)

My granny was beautiful, dark and mysterious, like Scorpios can be, so he fell for her.

But she was always a city girl, liked the night life, relating, etc. My grandpa a very successful administrator with Ecko was able to provide that lifestyle for her. They lived in Chigao and she loved that. Then he got transfered back to Indiana, Elkhart and they built their dream home, some time in the 1960's. She loved that place and it was beautiful (she and grandpa built it from the ground up. )

Then he got transfered to Ohio, where she began to fall into a depression due to the loss of her lovely home.

Their new home and social status remined the same, but grandma always pined for their dream home in Indiana.

They would do anything for eachother. But the time my grandpa gave her the ultimatum came after retirement and he wanted to return to his home and build on his family lake property that had been in his family sice the early 1900's (he is my step grandpa, but was around long before I, so he is my grandpa thru and thru)

So they being so much inlove, grandma stayed in Ohio and grandpa went on to Indiana to build, yet again, another dream home for them to retire in, on a beautiful small private lake. Grandma would go to visit him on the weekends to help, etc. By this time my mother was remarried and we were living with her and her new husband in Ohio.

Evidently grandma bitched a few too many times for having to move to the lake and grandpa finally said, take it or leave it.

She took it.

I remember them, when I was small being so great together. They worked well together, grandma, the duitiful wife would have all things ready for him to come home from work, complete with my barbies picked up and Dark Shadows or I Dream of Jeannie off the tv

They were the traditional devoted wife and husband.

When the moved to the lake, grandma embraced it. They grew marvelous gardens, she canned and I will never forget her running around in her bra during the summer, cooking, cleaning, etc.

She was the ultimate sex bomb, my mother and I found 1970's Playgirls in her closet once! She always wore sexy lingere to bed and always gave me very sexy lingere for gifts.

As a mattter of fact, she was a seamstress by profession and I now posess and have dressed in tribute to my grandma her sewing bust (my gosh what a bod), with the sexy gowns she gave me, her flapper gown, which she loved and her beaver stoll.

They related very well, and had some kind of unspoken understanding as grandpa can be a quiet man.

I think her depression, that she eventually had to deal with, turned into alzheimers, which took her life eventually, at 94. Grandpa sat by her side at the nursing home,was there for all her meals... and she was there for a short time only cause he took care of her at home until his doctor mandated she be placed cause it was literally killing him

When we got wind she was getting worse and worse, my mom flew up to Indiana. They both sat with her....till the end.

Well the end came, when, relying on one car only, my mother dropped off my grandpa at the home, went in for a bit to see my grandma, kissed her and went back home for a bit. Mother returned to pick up grand pa and head out for lunch. That is when she died.

They had a very blessed union to the very end and intuitively understood eachother and their love.

rest granny, cant wait to visit with you again some day~~~

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hippichick
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posted March 06, 2012 01:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I guess that is why I somehow feel so responsible for my grandpa.

My grandma gave me in her post dying phase something I had always wanted, a White Christmas, she was burried, in the middle of a snowy cemetary, in the middle of an Amish commnity...guess what I have claimed the plot with them and my mother has the other.

I get my grandpa and got my grandma, a love story not without harship, but with a lot of love.

So when I went back for the funeral, I fell inlove, again with the small resort town in which they live. I reacclimated to the snow wonderfully and decided then that I want to go back to be with my grandpa.

My brother is well to do and my mother doesnt care. The estate will be divided 3 ways and I have always expressed wanting to keep the lake property in the family.

I am trying to honor my grandma and give myself what I have wanted since I was drug down here kicking and screaming to Texas, to go home...

Then I met the Virgo, from just a few hundred miles from where my grandpa lives.

Thot, wow what a bouns! He is going back home soon...but I think my plans are changing were the bf is concerned.

The little trio of the Pisces, the Scorpio and the Cancer (with my Gem brother added as a 4th) is such a beautiful memory for me...

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Yin
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posted March 06, 2012 01:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What a beautiful story, hippi.
May you get your home on the lake sooner than you think. ♥

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hippichick
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posted March 06, 2012 01:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I want to say one more thing, Yin,

This thread has been very catharic for me as I sit here and ball my eyes out.

Bfriend is being as stupid more than he ever has been, "advising" me on not selling my home due to the market, (see my thread on llc.)

Thinking that since we have been together for only 13 months he doesnt want me to sell, move and regret it.

Really? regret going home to where I never wanted to leave THIRTY FIVE YEARS AGO!

I have reminded myself, via my own words, of exactly why I am going home, even if it is to be burried, despite him.


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hippichick
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posted March 06, 2012 01:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
dp

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Yin
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posted March 06, 2012 01:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

You will get to where you're going, hippi. Have faith.

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DustyLibra
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posted March 07, 2012 01:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DustyLibra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My only real life experience with a Cancer, that I am aware of, has been one of the most important and most difficult relationships of my life: my relationship with my dad.

He was not an easy man to like, and even harder to love, due to personal demons he battled most of his life. Sometimes he whipped his demons. Unfortunately, more often than not, it seemed as if his demons KO'd him. It was exhausting to be around him during those times. He could be very mean and self-absorbed. So I can relate to Hippichick's antennae going up whenever she ran across a Cancer. I used to do that, but time and maturity (and please don't think that I'm saying saying you, personally, are immature, Hippichick. I'm solely referring to myself here) have taught me to not be so quick to judge because every sign has its share of negatives. I know I can be a textbook flighty, indecisive Libra whenever these scales are off kilter.

My dad also had the wonderful qualities Cancerians possess. He was a great cook. He could be very paternal - watching my gentlemen callers like a hawk and even chasing a couple away. LOL He was also very talented artistically, and he was extremely intelligent and well read. He had a great sense of humor, too. He would have made a great standup comic.

In retrospect, I think we bumped heads mostly because we were more alike than different - two strong-willed cardinal signs. I'm a double Libra and my dad may have been a double Cancer. I may get his birth certificate and do a synastry chart one day.

I take comfort in knowing that we made our peace with each other before he crossed over.

------------------
"Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at." - Solomon Short

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mintgirl123
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posted March 07, 2012 01:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mintgirl123     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I haven't had the best experiences with them.
Dated one very seriously and he was honestly the love of my life, but he was truly a horrible person.

Was he intuitive and sensitive? Yes, but only applied this sensitivity towards himself.
He was always down on himself and moody, very into mind games. He was very passive, very negative, very temperamental and let me down every time. This guy was a pathological liar and couldn't commit but fooled me completely into thinking he wanted sth serious. He was also very paranoid and manipulative. Emotionally and verbally abusive, emotional blackmail and guilt trips happened too many times.

At the same time, though he had his head stuck in the clouds, he was like (that period at least) the missing puzzle for me.
He had a mad sense of humour and had a way of affecting me emotionally that no one else could EVER come close to doing.
I loved him greatly and he changed me for the better. Hurt me alot but made me stronger.

Still can't completely get my head around how he could be so emotionally cold. Kinda makes me feel like a fool lol. Cos he had to be the person that affected me so tremendously.

He was a double water with a water mars too. Air venus and mercury.

So though I will always love him in a way, I cannot respect him, trust him, nor do I even like him as a person.

I used to think he was beautiful, but now I just see him for what he really is.


What made me quite bad was when he wouldn't stop calling me 8+ months after we broke up when I was in another relationship. Instead of apologising or being remorseful for cheating, lying etc, he tried to play up my insecurities (accentuated after what he did to me) by telling me 'how do you know your bf's not on the phone with his ex right now and having conversations with her at night?', he told me that I needed to 'stop being so stuck on the past, that I'm just being cold bc of 'pride.' That 'all husbunds cheat on their wives' so I should just 'get over it.'

Sigh. I had to block his number. I have a feeling he'll pop up again. Like always.

Through everything he never ever admitted to cheating or was ever honest but fed me lies. So it just kinda saddens me I fell for such a loser lol.

It just comes down to the fact that he was completely void of morals, a conscience and empathy.


But I'm sure some cancer men aren't like that. I just met a dark side one.

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Yin
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posted March 07, 2012 08:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
OMG, such horrible stories. I am really, really sorry to hear them but... gasping for air here. Any GOOD ones out there?

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Doux RÍve
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posted March 07, 2012 08:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux RÍve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can relate to mintgirl's story, a bit.

A very sad, disappointing experience.

I think Cancer men can be very cruel people when they are unevolved/immature whatever. Manipulation, lies, silent treatment, and all kinds of abuse.

I am very wary of Cancer placements now. I know everyone's different and there are probably very good Cancer men out there, but so far I've only met the unevolved ones.

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Fondue Knight
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posted March 07, 2012 09:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Fondue Knight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm a Cancer man and even I steer clear of Cancer influenced men.

I think Cancer energy is amazingly wonderful if the person is evolved enough. But, like Doux says, they're horrible if they're unevolved/immature. I know because I used to be that Cancer ******* who was like a passive aggressive bull in a china shop. (I do have Taurus Venus )

One of my best friends married a man with Cancer Sun and Moon and he is just the sweetest guy on the planet. I usually have major issues getting along with other Cancer guys, but I don't have problems with him at all. He's extremely quiet but has a wonderfully dry sense of humor. When he does open his mouth it's usually to spew sarcastic gems. They've got two little girls and watching him in Daddy-mode is awesome. I've got a ton of Cancer planets and I don't think I could ever be as good around kids as he is. It's just a little hard spurring him into action sometimes.

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s4nd
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posted March 07, 2012 09:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for s4nd     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
...

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Doux RÍve
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posted March 07, 2012 09:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux RÍve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Fondue, you and this guy you're talking about are exceptions

It's nice to know that there *are* good peeps out there, Cancer or not.

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the89freespirit
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posted March 07, 2012 09:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for the89freespirit     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've actually had generally positive experiences with Cancer guys. I find them really sweet and genuine.

One of my cousins (about five years older than me) has Sun, Mercury, and Venus in Cancer. His Crab energy is really noticeable even though he tries to hide it behind a more jocular, masculine kind of image. But he's very caring and protective; very much dedicated to his family (his relatives and his wife and kids as well). He shows such a sincere caring for other people. Although he doesn't make a huge display of it, it's very deeply felt. The negative Cancer traits are there too (lying/manipulating on occasion, passivity, moodiness) but not to an extreme degree. He can be pretty mean and nasty when you hurt his feelings, too. But, I think that's more his Mars in Scorpio.

All the signs have their negatives and positives. But I think Cancers are great, especially if they have influences in their chart that mellow and ground them some. My cousin has a Taurus Moon and I think that helps.

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Fondue Knight
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posted March 07, 2012 10:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Fondue Knight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Doux RÍve:
Fondue, you and this guy you're talking about are exceptions

It's nice to know that there *are* good peeps out there, Cancer or not.


I had a roommate who was a couple of weeks older than me. Both of us have Sun and Mars in Cancer. His Mercury is in Leo, mine is in Cancer. We... hated each other. I think he felt threatened by me. Kinda like I was p1ssing on his territory or something. That, and I didn't stroke his ego. He would come home and see me sitting in the living room, make a direct bee-line to his bedroom and slam the door without a word. My other roommate said that when he comes home and I'm not there he would sit and chat and whatever. I found the whole situation to be rather funny because it was so ridiculous.

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Doux RÍve
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posted March 07, 2012 10:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux RÍve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Fondue Knight:
I had a roommate who was a couple of weeks older than me. Both of us have Sun and Mars in Cancer. His Mercury is in Leo, mine is in Cancer. We... hated each other. I think he felt threatened by me. Kinda like I was p1ssing on his territory or something. That, and I didn't stroke his ego. He would come home and see me sitting in the living room, make a direct bee-line to his bedroom and slam the door without a word. My other roommate said that when he comes home and I'm not there he would sit and chat and whatever. I found the whole situation to be rather funny because it was so ridiculous.

Ouch. Sometimes people don't like you just for being you. Sorry to hear that happened to you! Maybe he could see a part of himself in you, that he didn't like? But anyway, glad you're not with this roommate any longer.

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cindilicious
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posted March 07, 2012 10:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for cindilicious     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
not too long ago i was hanging out with this guy (cancer sun, aries moon, mercury in cancer, venus in cancer, mars in leo) i am a cap sun with cancer moon....it was interesting...he talked about himself the ENTIRE time lol and i patiently listened. but it was like he had asked me to hang out but really didnt ask me anything about myself...and he talked about sex ALOT!! lol weird he has sun mercury and mars in the 8th house. it was a little too much for me

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Doux RÍve
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posted March 07, 2012 10:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux RÍve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
the89freespirit, I'm absolutely positive that his Taurus Moon and Scorpio Mars are grounding factors, because they're both fixed and loyal placements.

But of course positive Cancer traits are very admirable! I hope all Cancer people will develop their positive traits a bit more and fulfill their potential, they have much to offer.

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Fondue Knight
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posted March 07, 2012 10:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Fondue Knight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Doux RÍve:
Ouch. Sometimes people don't like you just for being you. Sorry to hear that happened to you! Maybe he could see a part of himself in you, that he didn't like? But anyway, glad you're not with this roommate any longer.

It was weird because our third roommate was someone who I was very good friends with and someone he went to high school with. He ended up being the bull between the two moody crabs. Taurus roommate even said that he doesn't know what crawled up this dude's butt because his behavior around me is totally different than normal.

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Doux RÍve
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posted March 07, 2012 10:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux RÍve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yeah, weird.
Well, he missed his chance to have a great mate

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Fondue Knight
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posted March 07, 2012 10:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Fondue Knight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by cindilicious:
not too long ago i was hanging out with this guy (cancer sun, aries moon, mercury in cancer, venus in cancer, mars in leo) i am a cap sun with cancer moon....it was interesting...he talked about himself the ENTIRE time lol and i patiently listened. but it was like he had asked me to hang out but really didnt ask me anything about myself...and he talked about sex ALOT!! lol weird he has sun mercury and mars in the 8th house. it was a little too much for me

Mercury in the 8th loves talking about sex. Mine has been progressing through the 8th for a while and I love a good frank sexual discussion.

I think Aries Moon and Leo Mars will definitely lend themselves to some self-absorption. With Cancer, I think we like talking about ourselves to an extent because we're highly insecure. If someone allows us to prattle on about ourselves, it's a self-esteem boost. That, and we're usually very focused on others, whether we show it or not, (Perhaps myself more so than others because I have Virgo moon and a packed 7th house ) so it's a break from worrying ourselves about our loved ones. That guy in your example, though, I can see why it's a bit much for you. Find a Cancer with some more grounded placements.

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Yin
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posted March 07, 2012 10:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

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