posted March 16, 2012 06:27 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by TrueTaurus:
Lately I've been feeling a heavy dose of disconnect. I've always enjoyed my alone time but now it's like I'd rather be alone than hang out with people, like I don't want to ever socialize. It's fun with my coworkers at work, but even that is to a certain extent. I just want to stay home and mind my own business. But I don't have much going on except school. I haven't had much time to socialize since last September when I started at university. I've been working and going to school full time. But last year I had a great time whenever I was with friends, now I just want to be alone and watch tv shows. I've been having sleeping problems too. I've always had trouble sleeping, but now I can barely get out of bed. I skipped a full week of school this week. It isn't detrimental because it's the last week of the quarter and im turning in assignments, but it's not something I'm proud of. I'm beginning to think that I have depression. I'm not new to it. I'm afraid that I really am depressed.

Any advice would be appreciated. I'm wondering if it's a transitting phase I'm going through or if I should seek professional help, I've been thinking about visiting my school's counseling center.
My birth info. May 2nd, 1988 8:22am anchorage, Alaska

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posted March 16, 2012 06:27 AM            

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posted March 16, 2012 08:09 AM            

I hear ya, that you're depressed. But unfortunately college stress will do that to most of us. I think you need to wallow in your depressed feelings for a bit and nurture your sad feelings in your alone time. Then I think you'll see you'll meet some nice people one day at school and you'll start feeling rays of warm sunshine coming in slowly. I think when you are feeling antisocial, it's not that you don't want to hang out with ANYONE. It's that you just haven't met any people at this new setting you're in who make you feel happy and loved. But, things change, and you meet different people. Next semester, a whole group of new freshmen will be coming in, and maybe you'll make some new friends. Involve yourself in some clubs at school, perhaps? Especially a religious club even if just out of curiosity, bc I find that ppl who seek religion are trying to better themselves and their lives and are likely to make kind friends. Religious people for some reason, are very friendly. Lol.

posted March 16, 2012 08:18 AM            

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posted March 17, 2012 02:35 AM            

Ami Anne, yes, I've got a full house going on.

My Chart,

posted March 17, 2012 11:31 AM            

quote:

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Any advice would be appreciated. I'm wondering if it's a transitting phase I'm going through or if I should seek professional help, I've been thinking about visiting my school's counseling center.

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for us to comment on transits you need to post them around the outside of natal, with progresions, found in Extended chart selection.

go to methodds and click on 'natal chart wheel' and selection natal, progressions and transits.

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posted March 17, 2012 11:42 AM            

I notice your vertx is conj pluto in 5th this suggests man 'fated' type relationships

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Vertex Conjunct Pluto

Though you function in large organizations well, you experience control issues. You want control of your own life, even if it�s a subconscious urge. The use of force or jealousy from or toward you may be excessive, but it does indicate great power for good or evil to be who you want to be. http://www.cafeastrology.com/articles/vertexsignshousesaspects.html

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I have a large thread discussing vertex in Basic forum..

I notice saturn/uranus conj in 6th
"Saturn’s" influence seems to be more obvious in the houses than in the signs can rule the life with an iron rod, although invisible, by undermining the sense of ¬self worth and making it difficult for the individual to permit any close emotional contacts.

Saturn's sign indicates what you find uncomfortable and must learn to manage.
Where and how you feel a lack of confidence -- the house position of Saturn defines where
you need to establish your skills, an issue you worry about and wish you could depend on !

Lovely anecdote about Saturn from member mahaira on astrologyweekly.com,

quote:

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There's an interesting thing I read somewhere, which I would never take as a rule as it oversimplifies matters - we can guess where someone's Saturn is placed, broadly speaking, by asking him/her "What do you want (or did want) but don't have?"

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Takes 28 years to go around zodiac. Stays in each sign of approx 2.1/2 yrs
Keywords: Saturn = Structure, duty, limitation, restriction.

When Saturn and Uranus fall in the same sign or house we get caught in a cleft stick, wanting to make changes but fearing to let go of the old.

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posted March 17, 2012 11:42 AM            

It is real struggle with very very real energies! It is not your fault either. It is what you have come into the world with!.

Lets start with Venus in the 12th.I will put up some info on that.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted March 17, 2012 11:43 AM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted March 17, 2012 11:47 AM            

Basic astrology forum, Midheaven Signs & Aspects http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum12/private-jjLYZw161/HTML/000701.html
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Noticeably your chart lack fire planets, but you do have two planets in 5th house which is a fire house to help compensate.

Lack of elements http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=18077 http://www.astrology-numerology.com/elements.html http://www.astrology.aryabhatt.com/Astrology_Elements.asp http://www.bobmarksastrologer.com/EmptyElement12.1.htm http://www.astrologyclub.org/article.../inferior2.htm http://www.nanceestar.com/elements.html http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?p=319747&posted=1#post319747
Fire Absence
The limited presence of the Fire element in your horoscope may suggest the need to experience life more actively. It may benefit you to become more vital, for you may lack the passion and spark that the fire signs afford. This doesn't mean that you don't enjoy life, but merely that you don't seem to know how to insert yourself into the action; pleasure, thrills and glory will be slow coming your way. Your pleasures are apt to be more subtle and sensitive, without the dramatics and flash. Although this void does not guarantee an introvert, you are not likely to be the extrovert. You lack the dare-devil courage of the fire signs, and this includes the utter self-confidence these signs bestow http://www.astrology-numerology.com/elements.html#Fire%20Absence

posted March 17, 2012 11:48 AM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted March 17, 2012 11:50 AM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted March 17, 2012 11:52 AM            

Venus opp uranus needs bit of excitement and freedom within relationships, but it's also a divorce aspect to.
Venus opp saturn shows feelings of being uncherished in early childhood.

Venus rules 4th and 11th houses...

quote:

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Ruler of the Fourth House in the Tenth House

Your mother was a strong authority figure, or that could just have been the impression you got as a child. Your security needs are fulfilled through recognition of your achievements. Your career may take place out of your home. It's possible that real estate or property matters are linked to your main career. You may find that you have very little private life and that you have certain responsibilities that force you into public recognition whether you desire that or not. http://www.skyviewzone.com/astrology/houserulerships.htm#hr4

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quote:

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Ruler of the Eleventh House in the Twelfth House

You may prefer to keep your fondest hopes and wishes to yourself. Some of your friends and acquaintances may be people you knew in a past life. Or, there may be a hidden element to those relationships. Illusion could also play a part.You could have a desire to serve humankind altruistically or help other people in a behind-the-scenes capacity. This astrological influence can also denote a relationship to secret organizations. Your unusual ideas can lead to your own undoing. This possibility can manifest as a result of extremely radical approaches. Diplomacy and the inclusion of others can only help your causes. http://www.skyviewzone.com/astrology/houserulerships.htm#hr11

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posted March 17, 2012 11:58 AM            

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Sun conj jupiter shows me that you are not a typical Taurean either...

quote:

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Sun conjunct Jupiter
Unless Saturn is also involved with this aspect, individuals with Sun conjunct Jupiter in their natal charts are enthusiastic and optimistic. They truly expect the best—from themselves, from others, and from life. They prefer to see the good in the world.

Their confidence in everything turning out all right can also get them into some trouble. Over-indulgence in food or drink, gambling, shopping—whatever their pleasure—is a high possibility, simply because these people can be procrastinators and put too much faith in life "fixing" things on its own. They might eat just for the sake of eating, indulge in expensive items temporarily forgetting the reality of the bill arriving the following month, and so forth. It can be hard for them to save money.

The truth is, many times it seems like these people have a guardian angel who sweeps in and saves their behinds, sometimes at the very last minute. They tend to "get away with" more than most people. But inevitably they'll face some consequences for their excesses, such as an expanding waistline or growing debt.

Although not especially competitive, Sun conjunct Jupiter individuals have a cheerful outlook and tend to accomplish quite a bit. They are quite resourceful. They generally are able to win over others, as theirs is a nature that is willing to help out others rather than argue with them. They come across as fair, big-hearted, and sincere. Generous with their time and money, these people are easy to like. Because they tend to over-estimate their capabilities, they can promise more than they can deliver.

Some people with this aspect can be self-righteous and moralistic. Others express the teaching side of Jupiter. Still others are prone to exaggeration, although their stories are so interesting that people tend to overlook it.

Although largely positive and optimistic, Sun-Jupiter people are not immune to depression. Although short-lived, their downs can be dramatic, simply because they are unprepared for these times. http://cafeastrology.com/natal/sunjupiteraspects.html

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posted March 17, 2012 12:01 PM            

I call this one, freedom (uranus) v convention and hard work (saturn) and saturn usually wins...

quote:

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This combination represents unrealistic standards of perfection that are unattainable. The result is increasing stratification of regulation and excessive procedure happiness. Pressure at work gradually builds up until release and collapse. It makes you feel uncertain, uneasy and insecure because the things that you count on for stability are no longer reliable. The chain of command in your workplace may shift significantly and there may be inconsistencies in the rules that seem hypocritical. Often this will be a source of tension between you and your superiors. It is not uncommon to change jobs or be fired at this time. http://www.astrology-x-files.com/transits/uranus-op-saturn.html

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posted March 17, 2012 12:04 PM            

quote:

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Sun in Square, Quincunx, Opposition to Midheaven

You'll have to develop the ability to put yourself in the limelight in order to go after what you really want career-wise. Ego conflicts with those in authority can create setbacks until you learn the art of finding a middle course. A career that provides an outlet for creative self-expression, leadership abilities and personal recognition is important to consider. http://www.skyviewzone.com/astrology/aspectssun.htm

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use the above website to research your other two.

Now I have pluto square MC to...

Pluto square MC
Pluto in Square to Midheaven
“Don't be surprised if you have your share of power struggles with authority figures. This aspect suggests domination and control. You can rise to a position of important influence over the lives of others. All efforts to climb to the top should be kept completely honest and aboveboard.
Consider some of the following career potentials: archaeology, espionage, psychiatry, mortuary science, the secret service, banking, or the medical profession--especially surgery.” http://www.skyviewzone.com/astrology/aspectspluto.htm

Pluto square MC for a long time I was not even 'aware' how this functioned or played out, until I was out with a friend, who ended up defending me from a verbal attack from a woman. It seems with pluto we/you give out scorpio/pluto vibes of authority, power and control and possibly on a subconscious level, *others* especially women pick up on this and feel it's 'fair game' to challenge and attack. It doesn't happen all the time, just occasionally. Plus mine is in 7th Angular/most visible and house of open enemies, which I really don't mind coming up in my face either...

posted March 17, 2012 12:05 PM            

Venus may be one of the hardest planets to have in the 12th house. Neptune is thought to be the easiest, followed by Jupiter. After that, it is a matter of opinion, perhaps. To me, Venus seems hard. We, all, need love. Love is the soul food for the human. Venus is the planet of love, all love, not just that between lovers. The 12th house Venus seems to sit on the sidelines and watch love go by. There does not seem to be much for her. She may think that the outer world is denying her, but that is not the case. The outer world, reflects the inner world, in most cases. This Venus hurts too much to put herself forward and risk rejection. She may try, but she may find herself hiding under the bed, as the result of the effort and vowing not to try, again. Love seems to come easily to some. To Venus in the 12th house, she is a creature of the next dimension, as are all holders of 12th house planets. As such, she needs a lover to take her hand and encourage her to come out,and tell her that she is loved despite her flaws, which she magnifies more than any one else . Be gentle with this Venus. You will have a special creature love you, if she gives you her heart.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted March 17, 2012 12:06 PM            

Pleas Listen to Maria Mena—Just Hold Me

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted March 17, 2012 12:07 PM            

The Ruler of Another House Residing in the Twelfth —–Does it Indicate Sorrow in the House from which the House Ruler Came?
By amiann | Published: February 19, 2012 |

I was thinking about this, in terms of my chart. I have Ruler of the 5th in the 12th.I lost a child. The 5th is the House of Children.It’s Ruler travels to the 12th, the House of Sorrow, as was it’s old name. Does anyone have a House Ruler in the 12th House? If so, please tell me from which House it came and what you have experienced. This would apply to people with 12th House planets, only.

A lovely woman in one of my Astrology Study Groups allowed me to use her name and to bring you part of her story, related to the Ruler of the 5th House in the 12th House. Gisele Matthews is her name . Here is what she wrote: You know, the ruler of my 5th is in the 12th which is why I chose to never have children.. I did have two abortions when I was in my early 20′s. I had to have them, as I was on heavy medication at the time that would have caused a deformed fetus. And yes, it was very sad.

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posted March 17, 2012 12:08 PM            

This seems to be an omnipresent question. It may be said or left, unsaid. The song by Maria Mena, “Just Hold Me”, seems to haunt all of us, but the 12th House Planet natives know it, deeply. Others may feel raw and amorphous, but the 12th House person swims in it, struggling not to go under, to the bottom of the sea, as did Sedna. The 12th House experience is very different than any other. They are the demi aliens living among us. They are the poets and the artists. If they do not write and sing from their pain, they have special gifts with which to use their sensitivity. They can go into a hospice and hold the hand of a dying patient. They know the next dimension.If Mother Teresa was not a 12th House person, her work was.

To define the problem is fine, but that slithers around the answer. What is one to do? The first step seems to truly acknowledge your 12th House Planets:to study them in depth. Know who you are, as you cannot run. They are part of you. Only a Higher Authority knows why some charts are harder than others. That answer is unknowable.However, God has given us our personal maps:the astrological charts. Hence, for the 12th House person, he must understand who he is. He must try not to be ashamed of how he is different. He cannot bear an itchy sweater, while another sign could wear it all day. Hence, the first step is to stop trying to be like others: non 12th House people.

Then, one must find someone to whom one can tell the pain, as there will be valleys of sorrow. I don’t know how the sorrow came. It came differently for different people, but the 12th House person carries it. He may seem as if he does not. He may smile or swagger, but it is there. A sensitive person can pick it up. The 12th House person is holding a wound, just as real as a solider holding a war wound, trying to constrict it so as to stop the bleeding.The 12th House person feels set apart from others. The hardest part of all this is finding a person who can bear the pain with you, and not try to fix. You know all the fix’s. You have tried them all, to no avail. That is part of the omnipresent hopelessness which is part of the existence for a 12th House person.

The 12th House person tends to depression. Much of this is the internal isolation. Finding a person who will help you bear your sorrow will help. The hardest part for the other person is to resist the urge to fix, mitigate or make better in any way.It cannot be made better.It can only be released. That is the best way another person can help. They need to shut their mouths and let you cry. It sounds so easy, but few people can do it. You may be surprised, but it is true. Alice Miller brought the concept of the Enlightened Witness to the fore. Actually, if society was not so isolated, the EW may have been an aunt or a grandparent, in days past, when the family was closer. Now, intimacy is rare. Intimacy is one of the cures for 12th House planets. However, intimacy is a problem on it’s own, as the native has to be vulnerable. How can one be vulnerable when there is so much pain that the touch of another may be like fire? This is the conundrum.

God takes relationships very seriously, as He made Adam so He, Himself, would have a friend. As complete as God was, He wanted someone with whom to share. That is an amazing concept, but highlights the importance of relationships. As flawed as we are, there is nothing as special as someone seeing you. Intimacy is “In-To-Me-See”. How hard it is for us to, even, see ourselves, let alone show oneself to another. The 12th House person has more miles to go in the process of seeing himself, as it is harder for him. He wants to run away. He may get into addictions, as addictions are pain killers. The addictions may take him down. They may take him to the bottom of himself, or the bottom of life, itself, into death. The 12th House person cannot escape himself. Others have tried. I have more to say on this subject, but will take a break, as the last thing I want to do is give platitudes on a subject which has had platitudes thrown at it until it wants to vomit.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted March 17, 2012 12:11 PM            

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Chiron in Gemini or the Third House: The nervous system, communication skills and ability to tap race consciousness are all keywords of Chiron in Gemini. There can be early injuries to the voice, or painful shyness that comes from an early problem with self-expression. You may find that the native with Chiron in Gemini takes their time with thoughts and words, because they want to be certain that they express themselves correctly. Later in life, they may express themselves with painful precision to over-compensate.

Chiron in the 12th house: As always, Chiron shows where we can do more for others than ourselves. A 12th house Chiron may compulsively try to take care of the poor the sick, and the unfortunate while neglecting their own needs and those of their own family. Conversely, there may be malingering and the person with this placement may themselves always seem in "need" because of one (frequently self-caused) "problem" after another. This placement tends to make a person feel tired and fatigued. If you have this one, be sure to get plenty of rest.

Chiron in Gemini: Gemini is communications. Those with Chiron here may talk compulsively, or, on the other hand, seldom speak. Both were, most likely, never listened to as children. The only difference is one keeps trying while the other gave up. This sounds something like Chiron in the third house, and, of course, there are similarities. Remember though, that the sign position shows how something acts while the house position shows where in your life it will manifest. Let's take a look at an example. Suppose you have two horoscopes in front of you. One has Chiron in Taurus in the 3rd house. The other has Chiron in Gemini in the 2nd house. Yes, there are similarities. You could say that both will spend a lot of time talking about money, possessions, and values. Both could be quite good at giving financial advice. What's the difference? The one with the Taurus Chiron in the 3rd house will tend to talk in a slower, methodical, and more practical way because that's how Taurus influences function. They would also tend to give financial advice that is conservative and rock solid. The person with Chiron in Gemini in the 2nd house, by contrast, could just as easily talk about trivial financial matters. Or they may constantly shift from one financial topic to another. They would be more likely to give financial advice that is based on the latest up to date information (or the latest fad). It is always good to keep in mind the difference between where a planet works and how.

Chiron and Venus: Please try to get some pleasure for yourself in a relationship instead of always helping your partner to open up. Chiron/Venus aspects can make for a great art teacher who (as always with Chiron) can teach their students to create art better than they themselves could ever do. These aspects are also good for giving great financial advice (Venus rules Taurus, the money sign) while one's own handling of money matters is a disaster area.

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all the above are from the thread quoted below

You also have a trine to mars and oppositions to Saturn and Uranusd and square to N Node

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