posted April 29, 2012 07:57 AM            

Maybe you should learn some communication skills so as not to be misunderstood. I don't know what it is exactly that makes people react negatively to what you say but maybe. something in your. communication style needs. some readjustment?[/ QUOTE] yea I really try to be. conscious of what I say but its. like no matter what I say or do I. offend somebody or someone. takes something I say. completely out of the context of. what I meant to say , so I calmly try to explain in great detail what I meant to say but its like they still aren't hearing me correctly, it can be a bit exhausting

posted April 29, 2012 08:01 AM            

If you still have these problems even when you try to be careful with your words, then maybe you shouldn't get affected by how others react to what you say. As long as you're not hurting anybody, it shouldn't be a problem. There will always be that one person who just won't get you but it doesn't mean that you are wrong or that you should feel bad about what you said. In the end, you are not responsible for other people's reactions.

posted April 29, 2012 08:08 AM            

quote:

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Mars in the 3rd House

You speak your mind quite readily, sometimes shooting from the hip when it comes to expressing your ideas and opinions. You tend to know a lot about a variety of subjects, and like to share that knowledge with others (sometimes too forcefully!). You are generally very direct and clear when it comes to communicating. You can easily get worked up about what others might think are trivial matters. You love a good debate. Whether you know it or not, or no matter your intentions, you can be provocative in your communication style. You are likely gifted with manual dexterity, although you might easily become impatient with tasks. At your best, you are enthusiastic, animated, and lively in the way you express yourself, and this can inspire others. You will fervently defend your opinions and beliefs, as well as your family and childhood.

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posted April 29, 2012 08:56 AM            

I kinda noticed the gender wars when the guy numbers went up to I dunno.. 5? Lol okay I'm sure there're more.. I guess we don't exactly mix well.

I totally got u tho when u sed this. It shud be your sig or something lol! Kidding! I guess it wud b irritating to me if I had to put it that way all the time as well..

"See whereas alot of women have had nothing but bad experiences with men, i have had nothing but bad with women,and whenever i speak from my negative experiences with women i am always attacked with insults or several people have labeled me immature,or as you just did, basically that i have outdated stereotypes and i generalize,thus invalidating my experiences,but its perfectly ok to generalize men and nobody says anything about it, thats"

Yeah +1 on what lonake sez. I have merc in Aries myself, mars in h1, no air. I don't miscommunicate because I DGAF what the other party wants. Le sigh..

posted April 29, 2012 08:59 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I tend to have a lot of misunderstandings with people,and quiet frankly feel like I speak a different language than most people a lot of the time, this has happened with family, friends, coworkers, gfs, teachers etc. It has posed such a problem for me that I just choose not to speak a lot.
I think the main things in my chart that cause this are Mars in the third, I can come off as mean or. confrontational without. meaning to or realizing it, mercury conjunct Neptune and Uranus,plus all. the aqua. contributes as well, me thinks. Does anybody else encounter a. lot of. miscommunication in. day. to day life? Do. you have. the aspects I listed or something. else that you feel. contributes to this sort of thing?

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I occasionally run into people where when they talk I can hear all the words coming out of their mouths but can't understand a single one of them. That's either the Sag ASC or the Merc R.

When I talk I tend to be a slow talker, stuttering words and repeating things a lot... unless I'm excited or upset. People get bored with my voice very quickly. With Merc in Leo I WANT to be heard and respected for my opinion. XD It's very frustrating.

People also have a tendency to take things that I say in the complete opposite way that I intend them or just plain don't understand what I'm trying to say. Not sure what causes that, but don't think I have any aspects that you listed.

All of that together makes me either extremely shy about talking at all, or an angry talker... someone who seems angry when I talk when in fact I'm not angry at all, just trying to force myself to find that sweet spot that allows the words to flow freely in a understandable way without stumbling all over myself. Strangely enough, I'm an excellent public speaker, stage fright does wonders for that equation.

posted April 29, 2012 09:07 AM            

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Originally posted by sand:
Yeah +1 on what lonake sez. I have merc in Aries myself, mars in h1, no air. I don't miscommunicate because I DGAF what the other party wants. Le sigh..

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posted April 29, 2012 09:20 AM            

Anyway, regardless of what aspects, what I learnt works best for me in communication is: whenever I feel the urge to object with someone but I want to make my point across, I will first acknowledge the person's viewpoint, ask why they think that way and then adapt to fit my viewpoint in.. That way, it is an effort so that they may listen to me more calmly rather than both of us being defensive together..

posted April 29, 2012 09:44 AM            

I realized that most of the time that people misunderstand what I say is when I tend to speak one or two (sometimes several) steps ahead... I have a (bad) habit of leaving people something to dissect with, then expect that they'll be able to get what I'm really trying to say in the end. In other instances, it's when I tend to get lost in my own romanticism (lol Neptune), and people could only scratch their heads in retort. XD

posted April 29, 2012 12:31 PM            

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Originally posted by Lonake:
Sand I have your game figured out.
Have to say, though....it's not the most subtle.

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posted April 29, 2012 10:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I tend to have a lot of misunderstandings with people,and quiet frankly feel like I speak a different language than most people a lot of the time, this has happened with family, friends, coworkers, gfs, teachers etc. It has posed such a problem for me that I just choose not to speak a lot.
I think the main things in my chart that cause this are Mars in the third, I can come off as mean or. confrontational without. meaning to or realizing it, mercury conjunct Neptune and Uranus,plus all. the aqua. contributes as well, me thinks. Does anybody else encounter a. lot of. miscommunication in. day. to day life? Do. you have. the aspects I listed or something. else that you feel. contributes to this sort of thing?

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I can relate. SAG rising, Merc in detriment (SAG) and mars in gemini 6H. I think its just easy for us to offend people. I dont take words that serious

posted April 29, 2012 11:27 PM            

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Originally posted by sand:
Yeah +1 on what lonake sez. I have merc in Aries myself, mars in h1, no air. I don't miscommunicate because I DGAF what the other party wants. Le sigh...

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I have Mercury Libra (Air singleton) and I'm very conscious of the other party. I want to communicate in the clearest, most tactful way possible! Personally, I do try to be mindful of other people, but only because I want everyone to be happy pappy. Then again, I always was a bit of crowd-pleaser...

posted April 30, 2012 01:57 PM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:

It frustrates me that I'm not friend material, but whatever. It is what it is.

I really hate it that I'm like this and no matter what I try, I just can't seem to change it.

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Babe, there is no such thing as friend material. I doubt you wanna hang out with ppl who are not accepting of your true nature esp since you r a Scorpio dominant person. . Not conforming to the norm is difficult but at least peer pressure never bothers you.

posted April 30, 2012 02:17 PM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
A lot of my disappointment in relationships with other people is due to communication.

More and more, I feel like people just think that I'm a freak and a loser and creepy and that's why they don't talk to me. That's the REAL reason why people don't want to spend time with me or communicate--they just don't have the nerve to say it to my face. I take the hint, though. Anymore, the only thing that I can do is just avoid people and keep to myself; people obviously want nothing to do with me and that's that. I just constantly annoy people and maybe I deserve to be shut out.

I have Mercury in the 11th, along with the sun. It's in Libra. Also have Gemini as my 7th, with Chiron there (though no other planets/angles/other stuff).

Communication is super-important to me. I really enjoy conversations with people, and I genuinely like hearing their stories, learning about their experiences, etc. This is not mutual, though--they do not enjoy conversations with me. If they did, they would actually want to talk to me and spend time with me.

I have south node, MC, sun, and Mercury in Libra.

My north node is of course Aries, so being independent and doing things on my own without other people is the right course to take anyway. It'll work out somehow.

It frustrates me that I'm not friend material, but whatever. It is what it is.

I really hate it that I'm like this and no matter what I try, I just can't seem to change it.

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