posted May 07, 2012 03:36 AM            

Wondering if this is due to "insecurity" per se, or is it more of a higher expectation those energies have for others, in terms of civility, fairness, empathy, understanding, etc.

Must throw in any Virgo or 6th House energies involved as well. Tends to really expect same as above. It may appear as be too picky, but those of us with these energies are usually the first to give people the benefit of the doubt because we want so much to believe.

So, I really want to know. How do other Signs or energies deal with not expecting as much, but still have the experience of quality relations? I'm having a difficult time understanding that right now. Thanks.

posted May 07, 2012 07:44 AM            

I really don't feel loved. My family cares about me, but I know that they won't be here forever. I don't feel like most people with whom I'm acquainted outside of my family really care about me, let alone love me. I just don't feel close to people.

I do have high expectations--the OP mentions civility, fairness, empathy, and understanding. I expect all of those things plus connection, closeness, depth, trust, communication, and sincerity, and probably a few other things that I'm neglecting at the moment. I just cannot settle for less. Anything less than that just doesn't reach my heart. It just feels empty and detached. Those relationships feel lifeless and not at all fulfilling to me.

I have zero planets in Virgo or the 6th house. My sixth house is Taurus, so it's a Venusian house.

I tend not to give most people the benefit of the doubt. For me, trust builds over time. However, I can be a bit in denial if I already care about that person and the person is kind at first, but then betrays me. I hate admitting that I was stupid, for one thing. For another thing, it also leaves me wondering just who else doesn't really like me, but pretends otherwise. One person betraying me makes me really insecure with others in my life.

posted May 07, 2012 09:13 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BackToEarth:
How do other Signs or energies deal with not expecting as much, but still have the experience of quality relations?

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I have Sun, Asc, Merc & Venus in Libra + Cancer MC. Let's throw in Pluto Moon too.

In my ideal fairytale world, everybody is loving, fair, profound, sincere and into open & direct communication. However the real world doesn't work this way, so I'm absolutely TERRIFIED of complications between people!
Things like fights, gossip, backstabbing or even innocent misunderstandings saddens me because it could all be so simple but I feel powerless to solve it.

posted May 07, 2012 10:46 AM            

quote:

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Pandacake: The real world doesn't work this way, so I'm absolutely TERRIFIED of complications between people!
Things like fights, gossip, backstabbing or even innocent misunderstandings saddens me because it could all be so simple but I feel powerless to solve it...So I pull up a wall around me to feel safe which comes across as cold, distant, aloof and even superficial.

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I agree with you on this Pandacake. It's a tough world for anyone but for Libra's, whew, this world can be just unbearable.

BackToEarth, I'm still trying to figure out the whole expectation thing. For me it's not so much insecurity as much as it is a very deep need and desire for all things to just be at peace. And for all people to just be at peace within themselves and with each other. I do have a vision for a utopia on earth, where we dance and play in a field of sunflowers and daisies filled with happiness and joy, where everyone accepts everyone else and differences are just a reflection of our uniqueness. But that's not the world we live. Though I do experience moments like this every now and again, and wow they truly are incredible.

Libra's are aware of a great deal when it comes to people. I mean, we are the first sign of the 'other' being opposite Aries in the zodiac. Sometimes, I do think us Libra's can put undue expectations on others, for example being to insistent that others speak a certain way or dress a certain way which might lead back to insecurities within ourselves, I guess it depends on each individual because we all have different motives and intentions. However the desire for things to be harmonious or at peace is a deep longing for balance on a soul level. At the end of the day, the niceties and superficiality pushed aside, balance is primary soul desire for any Libra. Other things might build upon that desire. When we interact or connect with others we sense imbalances within them and at times want to be of service.

I give a great deal in relationships, in love, in friendships. I've got Neptune in the 11th, and thus in addition to being a people pleasing Libra, I have a deep desire to be of service in friendships and I tend to attract lost souls who have historically abused my trust and giving nature. However, I've come to terms with these tendencies in myself, to be so sacrificial when it comes to those I care about. I've learned to temper that behavior and restore the balance in my friendships and relationships, however it wasn't easy. I lost a lot during the process, including friendships I'd had my whole life. People I cared very deeply about.

Libra's and expectations? That's a toughie for us. I think until we are able to truly understand and accept ourselves (Libra's), we won't be able to accept others. We are the sign of relating, thus it's incredibly important for us to understand ourselves through understanding others. Then we can accept ourselves and accept others with out placing undue expectations on them. It's important for Libra's to spread peace and harmony and to try to balance the scales however, we can't force people to change. People need to change on their own, but we can stand as an example by treating others with respect and kindness, accepting them as they are and continuing to spread peace through balancing the scales. When it comes to expectations we have to turn the lens back on ourselves. We don't have to accept anything into our lives that we don't want to, but we can at least learn how to accept others in all their uniqueness. But I think the more we stop projecting on others, the more we begin to learn more about ourselves, the less we need to validate our existence through projecting our expectations on others.

We just need to take a step back and use objectivity and just let go. We can't control the world, but we can transform ourselves and create something beautiful. We just need to learn how to accept people and accept ourselves drawing harmonious individuals toward us. Live and let live, Libra's!

posted May 09, 2012 02:44 AM            

I wonder how all this relates to one's upbringing, such as, coming from a family that tends to lean toward the customary traditions, or teaching good manners. In other words, part of this "expectation" might come from growing up that way & believing that's how everyone else is growing up.

Then we go out into the world, we learn that so many people weren't "fortunate" enough to learn respect, civility, manners, etc., and it's kind of a shock to our system out in the real world.

Because, I don't think it's coming from an "I'm better than you" type thing, or a judgemental thing, although it could easily come across that way for us with perfectionist leanings. There's a lot of people ready to knock you off your high horse.

For example, in a numerology report of mine, it said how I run into people who feel that I'm in a way "too happy in my little world", or that I somehow "have it too good", so they're always trying to take me down a notch. And I cannot begin to tell you how true that is, and it's been probably my biggest achilles heel in every single area of my life.

At the same time, I'm terrible at surrounding myself with "admirers" whether male or female. Even when I was a child, I'd find it nearly impossible to sort of let the person down in any way, or reject them in any way. So I've had what seems to me to be a necessary wall to that effect, just to avoid hurting someone's feelings in that way.

starzy54 -

You wrote:

quote:

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...(my younger sister)... does have the tendency to feel unappreciated for no good reason,I would say she is loved the most in my family, and still feels like she is unappreciated lol. She wants to be reaffirmed a lot that we care for her and that she is doing a good job.When she makes a mistake,she thinks we hate her for it...which is not the case at all! Idk where she gets these ideas from

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Just the other day when reviewing my NN placement & Aspects, it said, one of both of my parents would put a great deal of pressure on me to always do better. So I'd always feel like I'm never good enough. It could just be one of those "aspirational" Aspects affecting her too.

But I'll say this, if taken to the extreme, she'll go through a phase when even the tiniest error such as dropping a pencil on the floor, will trigger the recordings in her head, such as, "see you're an idiot!" Just for something that simple. And it can be very paralyzing.

But between the placements I mention in the beginning, and this North Node in Leo in the 4th and it's Aspects, AND the harsh Aspects to my Midheaven (MC) in Aquarius, what you said about your sister is just as strong for me.

Honestly, it's really scary because the last thing you want to be is an "energy sucker". You know, it's not about sucking energy out of others at all.

posted May 09, 2012 06:25 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by pandacake:
^ Platero, You're such a sweetheart I almost find it hard to believe you don't feel loved by people around you. Well it's their loss because frankly I think you'd make a great friend!

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posted May 18, 2012 08:29 PM            

I can expect far too much from others in relationships since I have 8H Mars and then the fantasy gets torn down, and I cause my own self-undoing by getting angry about it. This is because my Mars opposes Neptune. I build people up sometimes to be greater than they are, and just expect them to fulfill my Neptunian fantasies... and I get extremely angry when the illusion breaks and I find I'm totally wrong about them. That I was subconsciously not letting myself see the truth of them. I'm mad at both myself and them in such a situation.

posted May 19, 2012 03:41 PM            

I just feel so trapped in my life. Can't even have a chance to meet better people because of financial reasons (no hope ever for a better job; I'm worthless as an employee no matter what), so I can't move. And even if I did move, people might not like me--at least not good people.

UGH.

I really would love to have a decent social life with decent people before it's too late.

posted May 19, 2012 07:28 PM            

RegardesPlatero -

You say you don't know what triggered your recent frustration, but please go over the recent post on the topic of this Transiting Retrograde Venus.

It's going to make everyone question their self-worth, and the worth of every other thing. Everyone.

I too posted about meeting people and feeling the need to belong to something or some group in the real world, and I posted before I realized about this Retrograde.

Sometimes when we are being shown another aspect of ourselves that needs more attention, we don't have the words or deeds for ourselves at the ready.

Relax and accept that there's something new to learn about yourself, and you'll be stronger once the universe's process is complete.