posted May 08, 2012 09:44 PM            

We had gotten in an argument before the lack of communication began. I was being kind of demanding a lot of attention from him (I'm a Cancer), but he was refusing to provide me with it. We were both really drunk when we got in this argument but what I can recall from memory was that he was telling me he was sick of pouring his heart out to me and devoting so much to me and it was too painful for him. He said he was tired of not being able to make me happy. I had never seen him this emotional and I was trying to comfort him and reassure him, but things got really weird after that. He said he wanted to go inside because he "didn't feel safe." The next day things seemed good. It was long distance so I left to go back home and it was like as soon as I left a switched turned off. He wouldn't respond to my texts, he wouldn't acknowledge there was something wrong.

He ignored me for several weeks but would randomly text me saying things like "I'm sorry, I've been such an **** lately. I've just been really busy." At one point he even told me that he loved me and wanted to work on our relationship. But then he would go directly back to the same behavior he was apologizing for.

Eventually I confronted him and told him to figure out what he wanted. He finally sent me a message breaking up with me. In the message he basically blamed the entire thing on me, he said I'm too immature for the relationship we had. He said we are not in the right place for relationships right now. He said that I need to be able to make myself happy before I can be in a relationship. He said he really thought we were going to make it. He told me he still loved me in the message, too.

So here's what I don't get... he is still icing me out. But I thought that Scorpios were black or white/love or hate type people. If that is the case why is he icing me out and telling me he still loves me at the same time. He is claiming to not want to hurt me but hurting me by icing me out. It makes no sense to me.

posted May 08, 2012 10:52 PM            

If you are trying to win him back,,,dont. This will scare a scorpio away because it will feel superficial. Take some time and maybe keep in touch but only as an afterthought. You will need to do real change, scorpios appreciate a genuine transformation. By this time you might have moved onto someone else.

Im sorry about your situation. Dont ever argue when your angry or drunk because stupid stuff gets said. And remember arguments are meant to fix problems not perpetuate them. You can google 'how to argue the right way' or something.

Not trying to come off as condescending but this relationship sounded messed up to begin with

Also, scoropios are complicated people like geminis. Sometimes rejecting someone is an act of love because it is better than 'tolerating' someone. It could also be that he was playing some mind games with you, hard to say maybe both. Scorpios can love and hate you at the same time. Normally we just hate or love someone but this gets very complicated in relationships. The person we loved caused us so much pain that we must leave them but we still will always love them. Understand?

posted May 09, 2012 05:59 AM            

I can actually relate a lot to your situation, as I had one similar with a Scorpio friend. I also have a Cancer moon.

From experience, I can say that Scorpios will not come back, not more than once. They also do not just come out and tell you when they're upset. Once they decide that they have no more use for you, they just leave and that's the end of it. They will not budge, you cannot reason with them, once they're done, they're done.

The most frustrating thing in dealing with an angry Scorpio, besides fear of wrath/vengeance, is that they just shut you out without even trying to compromise, negotiate, or come to a point of harmonious balance that would allow both people to have what they need and be happy. They don't communicate directly when they are upset, or when they want to fix something. If you go to them about concerns, they get super-angry and defensive, no matter how reasonable and fair you try to be.

posted May 09, 2012 09:00 AM            

There's no need to chase them but you can let them know that you still care and want to make things work. Knowing that, they'll either come back or leave for good.

posted May 09, 2012 09:23 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
The most frustrating thing in dealing with an angry Scorpio, besides fear of wrath/vengeance, is that they just shut you out without even trying to compromise, negotiate, or come to a point of harmonious balance that would allow both people to have what they need and be happy. They don't communicate directly when they are upset, or when they want to fix something. If you go to them about concerns, they get super-angry and defensive, no matter how reasonable and fair you try to be.

I'm a bit of a hypocrite, admittedly, because I'm a Scorpio Venus and I can sometimes do the same thing. However, that said, I do believe that if there is a problem that is serious enough to lead to the end of a close relationship, you at least owe it to the person to talk about it first and give things a chance to work: if people actually matter to each other, they'll do that. I'm trying to do that more. It is not fair or right to just rip the rug out from someone like that, or to decide the entire relationship's fate in your head by yourself without even consulting the other half of the relationship.

---

You explained perfectly well what happened with my Scorpio Sun-Mercury EX. I am terrified of Scorpios guys. I'll stick with Virgos, Capricorn. They are more reliable.

posted May 09, 2012 10:01 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by lilithpluto:
You explained perfectly well what happened with my Scorpio Sun-Mercury EX. I am terrified of Scorpios guys. I'll stick with Virgos, Capricorn. They are more reliable.

But I love you though, RegardesPlatero. I love Scorpio Ladies.

---

Well, I'm actually a Libra sun/Merc, with Venus in Scorpio, but thanks :-)

And I mean, I can understand not going to someone first IF they are abusive or something, but if they're a normal person who just annoys you, I do think you should at least tell the person, in direct words that are very, very clear, "___ bothers me. If ___ keeps happening, I will have to leave the relationship, permanently. What can we both do to help stop ___ from happening and work on this problem together?". Something to that effect that would be easily understood is, I feel, only fair for a relationship that has been close or long-term.

posted May 09, 2012 10:09 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
I will say this.. If a Scorpio broke up with you, left you, doesn't want to communicate, etc. be it in friendship or love, chances are it's because they don't feel good with you, and that is probably because you hurt them or they can just see that you're not quite right for them (or them for you, if they're insecure). In any case, if they are serious about their decision, they won't come back. If they truly love you and care for you, they may return to you. But sometimes some things are just impossible to fix (even if it's in their own mind) and that's when the Scorpio gives up.

There's no need to chase them but you can let them know that you still care and want to make things work. Knowing that, they'll either come back or leave for good.

---

If I may (politely and respectfully) ask, though: why won't a Scorpio come out and tell you that they're getting to that point, before it's too late? As in, what's the mentality?

I'm genuinely asking because it's very frustrating for me to not know that things are THAT bad until they decide it's too late, and just in case I ever have another Scorpio friend (I don't want to hate/avoid the whole sign just because of a few very bad apples), I would like to know what the warning signs are, so that I can avoid this problem. What's the best way to avoid this happening with a Scorpio?

posted May 09, 2012 10:26 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
If I may (politely and respectfully) ask, though: why won't a Scorpio come out and tell you that they're getting to that point, before it's too late? As in, what's the mentality?

---

I can't speak for everyone but in my case it usually hits me like a ton of bricks, it's not even predictable, just boom and the feelings change. I guess it can also be gradual and in that case maybe it's a fear of hurting the other person. So we just let things spiral downward instead of dealing with them because otherwise it gets messy and having to cope with someone's interrogations is not our forte.

posted May 09, 2012 12:00 PM            

quote:

---

When Scorpios ice you out, 99.9% of the time, they never come back. If he (and anyone else who ices someone out) actually cared about you, or loved you- he wouldn't be icing you out and cutting you off anyways.

---

posted May 09, 2012 12:33 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lonake:
inthemisosoup.
The Scorpio overrides the mutability then.
But your Venus is also Pluto'd to the MAX and that is your relationship.
Scorpios I know with a high mutable influence, are not the same. Contrary to whatever else you might hear.

---

Makes me wonder what would've happened if I ever tried to get back together with my Scorpio ex with a Virgo stellium (moon, venus, mars). But he left for his home country for a three-week vacation two days after we broke up, and by the time he was back I was over it. Not over it, as in, emotionally healed, but I had no interest in going back there. I never picked up the phone to call him again. Still we haven't spoken now four years later. Not unusual for me, like i said.

I have stelliums in both Sagittarius and pisces. >_< In a lot of ways I'm highly influenced by my environment and quite fickle. But in relationships, I am either really quite loyal and attached, or you're nothing/nobody to me. It's quite a contrast to the way I approach pretty much everything else. ^^;;

posted May 09, 2012 01:44 PM            

The other two kept coming back. Eventually, the first one stopped because we worked together and it got to the point that it was clearly not healthy for either of us. We're friends now.

The second one was a man I was deeply in love with, however he did a very similar thing to what you've described (with the hot and cold and then sudden departure). He gave me a reason, however I was pretty sure it was a load of bull. (He said he was not in love with me and never would be) Two months after breaking it off, he drove an hour and a half to leave a rose on my doorstep in the middle of the night. No message attached, but I knew it was from him (which I later confirmed).

Over the next three years he kept popping into my life to see how I was doing and I could feel our connection was never really broken. Eventually he told me that he had made a huge mistake, was actually in love with me but at this point I was in another relationship. I knew he was telling me the truth but I also knew that he was still scared so I said, "what if I packed my bags and showed up on your doorstep tomorrow? How would you feel?" And I could see his eyes get clouded over with fear. After that, he left me alone.

The second Scorp has a Virgo Moon (mutable) and a (mutable) Pisces Ascendant. This could be why he didn't just stay gone, however he also has Venus conjunct Pluto in his natal. We also had a Venus/Pluto double whammy, among other things)

Either way, in all honesty, he was not ready to commit regardless of his inability to let go, even though he was the one who broke it off. So those three years were very painful because our connection was so strong that I felt myself getting pulled back in to his Vortex. The good thing about Scorps icing you out is that however painful it is at the time, it's usually easier to heal than with someone who won't cut that cord.

posted May 09, 2012 04:55 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Anjellyfish:
When Scorpios ice you out, 99.9% of the time, they never come back. If he (and anyone else who ices someone out) actually cared about you, or loved you- he wouldn't be icing you out and cutting you off anyways.

---

I know that he cared about me a lot. We were very serious about each other. He was incredibly careful about saying I love you and made a point of it actually meaning something. He was in love with me. Throughout our entire relationship, he would just make comments about how he wasn't good enough for me. I don't know. I'm pretty sure his insecurities just got the best of him.