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Author
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Topic: anyone else have someone come back during the retrograde?
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RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 2781
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted May 25, 2012 06:58 PM
  
I have--actually, the friend that I had previously thought was manipulating me, or at least might be.I just don't know what to do. I don't know what to believe. I can't decide if this person genuinely is reaching out to me or if it's some kind of trick or game. After all, it's been such a long time since this person has ever shown interest in talking to me, messaging, texting, or spending time together, and all of a sudden wishes to make plans. I can't figure out whether or not I was mistaken before, or else what is going on. Anyone else ever experience this kind of confusion with friends, especially during a Venus retrograde, and, if so, how do you sort it out and figure out the right answers? IP: Logged |
Capriquarius
unregistered
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posted May 25, 2012 07:05 PM
To answer the topic, no, I haven't. Not yet anyway.If this person caused you doubt before, they probably aren't a positive influence anyway. If I were you, I would pretend to be too busy to respond or have time for them. And if they suddenly pop out from nowhere, it's likely they need a favor from you. So unless you derive value from verbal exchange with this individual, you're probably lots better off pretending they don't exist, or did but is now dead. HTH! IP: Logged |
Anjellyfish
Knowflake Posts: 152
From: AR, United States
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted May 25, 2012 07:12 PM
If they're manipulative...test their intentions by asking favors out of them. I wouldn't trust em' As of so far...no experiences yet with friends that I've lost or disappeared coming back to me. IP: Logged |
Pure
Knowflake Posts: 61
From: London, ENG
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted May 25, 2012 07:21 PM
I haven't had anyone come back to me yet either, even though my Venus Retrograde is transiting my 7th house. I find it quite easy to cut people out of my life who do me wrong. I usually give people A LOT of chances as I'm a very forgiving person but there comes a point where I just can't take it anymore. If I was in your situation I would agree to meet up with them for one time but if it doesn't "feel right" to you then tell them bye bye. IP: Logged |
mercuranian
Knowflake Posts: 489
From: the 12th house
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 25, 2012 07:30 PM
this person is not good for you. forget them.IP: Logged |
Capriquarius
unregistered
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posted May 25, 2012 07:47 PM
Good answers.One of my philosophies on relationships is, if it's a surprise to have someone contact you, then you don't do anything for them until they're ingratiatingly accommodating to you for a while. You don't even owe them a sympathetic ear until then. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Knowflake Posts: 2268
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted May 25, 2012 08:51 PM
Yea i had a girl that i was talking to a couple months back randomly start texting me a few nights ago,she said she was interested in me and had missed me, which was kind of weird because she sure didnt act like it a few months ago. She told me all that and then said by the way im moving out of state next month,and i was thinking wtf? Why are you telling me all this if your moving? People are strange... IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 547
From: California
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 25, 2012 09:04 PM
It has not happened to me, but Venus retro is a good time for people to reach back into past relationships and give them another try or try to make things right or get some closure. There is no harm with agreeing to reconnect with the person, if you still feel attracted to them. I don't quite agree that you have to make them "prove themselves out" unless they done you wrong. Just be careful, yet open minded, enjoy the reconnection for what it is, rehash things and clear out confusion, and wait until Venus goes direct before you decide to commit yourself to the relationship. IP: Logged |
MillyX
Knowflake Posts: 72
From: canada
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted May 25, 2012 09:23 PM
Yes  My best friend from elementary. She contacted me through email. We lost contact when we went to different high schools & I always wondered what happened to her. & Surprise surprise it looks like we are going to the same college hehe. I missed her so much! She contacted me around may 15 when venus went retro. This is totally out of the blue.IP: Logged |
Capriquarius
unregistered
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posted May 25, 2012 09:30 PM
^ that happened to me a long time ago during rx Venus. (She asked me to be her bridesmaid but apparently to her, that means "free wedding planner." I was like fuk that. So yeah, watch out for what these people want....rx Venus is not outwardly loving.)IP: Logged |
Pennylane
Knowflake Posts: 111
From:
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted May 25, 2012 10:59 PM
No, but I have been thinking a LOT lately about this guy I had a huge thing for a couple of years ago. I can't stop thinking about him. Does anyone know if after the retrograde, these feelings tend to go away? It took me a long time to get over him and I don't want to go through that again.IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 2781
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted May 26, 2012 06:07 AM
The person didn't ask for a favor--just to see me.Still, it seems a bit sudden. I haven't given an answer yet, but I am going to give it a lot of thought either way. What confuses me is that I haven't heard a word from this person in over two months, yet I know the person has been in contact with other people, and I find that hurtful, as this person had been a close friend. So, if I really mattered to the person, why would the person exclude me until now? That's what I don't understand. The other thing is that I'm not sure if I should bring up/address my concerns or if I should say nothing at all. I don't know if I should give this person a chance to explain, see what the person says, and then decide, or just be distant. So far, I just haven't said anything either way. Honestly, I was a bit angered when this person wrote because I couldn't help but think, "wow, it's been months now and suddenly you decide that I'm good enough to write to me". I'm definitely not going to just welcome this person into my life again with open arms. Trust has definitely been broken. Whether it can be restored, I don't know. I do feel a lot of hurt over being tossed aside and all of the excuses given for various things, and the dishonesty. (The dishonesty in this case is that I was told how often she was busy/sick, yet I see pictures posted of her with other people and I know that she's kept in touch with others, but not me). What I may end up doing is just being polite and cordial, but not super-close/trusting. That's a balanced medium. Not rude, not inciting anger or retaliation or other unpleasantness, but not being open or vulnerable, either. Basically, going to be slow and careful, and err on the side of caution/being more reserved. IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 2781
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted May 26, 2012 06:10 AM
quote:
Originally posted by MillyX:
Yes My best friend from elementary. She contacted me through email. We lost contact when we went to different high schools & I always wondered what happened to her. & Surprise surprise it looks like we are going to the same college hehe. I missed her so much! She contacted me around may 15 when venus went retro. This is totally out of the blue.
How did it turn out? Did she just want something from you? Are you guys on good terms now?
IP: Logged |
Sashar
Knowflake Posts: 302
From: Alternate timeline future
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted May 26, 2012 08:01 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Pure:
I haven't had anyone come back to me yet either, even though my Venus Retrograde is transiting my 7th house.
Transiting my 7th house as well and haven't had anyone come back in my life. ------------------
Astrology Activism: The constant strive to not just learn the intricate details of Astrology but the desire to constantly find new ways to prove that it exists in a scientific manner.
Failure to incorporate the later into your work is akin to learning how to cure cancer but not sharing it with anyone. IP: Logged |
JohnFKennedy
Knowflake Posts: 526
From: US
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted May 26, 2012 12:29 PM
I've had three people from my past pop up wanting to hang out nonchalantly as if nothing ever happened. There's something weird about me during a Venus Retrograde - everything becomes crystal clear in my eyes and I see everyone for who they really are. Immediately I squashed out one request to hang out, one new Facebook request, and got a conversation out of the way with another one and am promptly walling that back up immediately. It feels good. I always feel so in control of myself during this period. Oh, and it's transitting my 9th house where my Sun is at (late Taurus) if that's any indicator. They've all been former.. guides in my life, in their own way. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 1350
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted May 26, 2012 01:05 PM
Is it retrogading right now? I had a friend from a couple years ago pop up in the beginning of April. What was going on then? Like you Regardes, it was a friend I thought was manipulating me, however we're are fine now. IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 2781
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted May 26, 2012 01:07 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Is it retrogading right now? I had a friend from a couple years ago pop up in the beginning of April. What was going on then? Like you Regardes, it was a friend I thought was manipulating me, however we're are fine now.
If you don't mind me asking: how did you know that she wasn't? (I ask because I have no idea how to figure it out; until I can figure it out, I'm just not going to say much to her). What clues should I look for, besides the favor thing/being asked for favors?
IP: Logged |
IndigoDirae
Knowflake Posts: 292
From: Venice, California, US
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted May 26, 2012 01:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Capriquarius:
^ that happened to me a long time ago during rx Venus. (She asked me to be her bridesmaid but apparently to her, that means "free wedding planner." I was like fuk that. So yeah, watch out for what these people want....rx Venus is not outwardly loving.)
Nice to see you on the boards, Dr House. I had no idea you were an astrologer. Things not going so well in the medical field? -A.
IP: Logged |
IndigoDirae
Knowflake Posts: 292
From: Venice, California, US
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted May 26, 2012 01:26 PM
Can I ask what we all mean by 'manipulation' here? In general, human nature is relatively selfish. People will tend to do what they want to do. The better relationships are the ones in which we both have something to contribute with compatible 'agendas'. Maybe that seems horribly sardonic, but, for the most part, it's been true for me.I don't blame people who clearly need something from me - but if I then need something from them, and they've proven to me I'm a convenience while I've made them a priority, THAT's when I have to re-evaluate the relationship and impose necessary distance. I may return to it, or I may not. But being 'too busy' and 'pretending they're dead' is just juvenile. Whatever happened to honesty? Part of Venus Retro is to have the opportunity to revisit past experiences and fix what's gone wrong. Just like any Retro period. This, specifically, involves our interpersonal sphere. -A.
IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 1350
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted May 26, 2012 01:34 PM
quote:
Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by hannaramaa:
[b]Is it retrogading right now? I had a friend from a couple years ago pop up in the beginning of April. What was going on then? Like you Regardes, it was a friend I thought was manipulating me, however we're are fine now.
If you don't mind me asking: how did you know that she wasn't? (I ask because I have no idea how to figure it out; until I can figure it out, I'm just not going to say much to her). What clues should I look for, besides the favor thing/being asked for favors? [/B][/QUOTE]For me I don't know I'm being manipulated until I've come to that conclusion myself. Other people might try to tell me but I have to be the one that decides if it's really like that. Manipulation is everywhere it's just sometimes it's negative. I know she wasn't because now that I'm around her without another person involved (that was back then) we're fine. It was our mutual friend actually manipulating me and feeding me stories about her. Now that two years have passed since I saw her the last time we were friends, my feelings and mindset about her are much more clearheaded and I don't get that vibe from her. If you get a negative vibe from someone or are uncomfortable then keep your distance. It's really hard to look for signs of being manipulated unless it's blatant in which case you'll know and you won't need to ask. If you go looking for "signs" then you'll find them and it becomes more of a self-fulfilling prophecy than actual fact. Does that make sense? IP: Logged |
ail221
Knowflake Posts: 250
From: Mary Margaret Blanchard's home
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted May 26, 2012 01:41 PM
Actually my aunt popped back into my life, we haven't spoken in years, so I suppose the retrograde includes family members as well.IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 2781
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted May 26, 2012 02:04 PM
quote:
Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
Can I ask what we all mean by 'manipulation' here? In general, human nature is relatively selfish. People will tend to do what they want to do. The better relationships are the ones in which we both have something to contribute with compatible 'agendas'. Maybe that seems horribly sardonic, but, for the most part, it's been true for me.I don't blame people who clearly need something from me - but if I then need something from them, and they've proven to me I'm a convenience while I've made them a priority, THAT's when I have to re-evaluate the relationship and impose necessary distance. I may return to it, or I may not. But being 'too busy' and 'pretending they're dead' is just juvenile. Whatever happened to honesty? Part of Venus Retro is to have the opportunity to revisit past experiences and fix what's gone wrong. Just like any Retro period. This, specifically, involves our interpersonal sphere. -A.
People just aren't honest and direct. And, too, you can't be honest with people without them getting upset. There are a few people in my life that I'd really like to get answers from, but I could never just go ask them. They're likely to deny that there is anything wrong, or else get really offended and defensive, judging from previous experiences. People speak to each other without saying anything. People are just supposed to pick up the other person's intended meaning. It frustrates me to no end. But, that's how it is. If someone doesn't seem to like me or want to be around me, or if someone avoids me, to me the clear message is that I should avoid them back or and that they don't want me around. That's how they act, that's the message that they send out, that's the message that's received. That's why it makes no sense at all when they suddenly contact me out of nowhere. In the case of the person who's come back in my life, she blatantly lied to me, so it makes zero sense for her to want to hang out. Obviously, something is off, and the suspicion bells are going off. It's a red flag. I mean, you don't just blow someone off for months and then suddenly want to reconnect, unless you have a clear intention.
IP: Logged |
Hera
Knowflake Posts: 1830
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted May 26, 2012 03:10 PM
quote:
Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I have--actually, the friend that I had previously thought was manipulating me, or at least might be.I just don't know what to do. I don't know what to believe. I can't decide if this person genuinely is reaching out to me or if it's some kind of trick or game. After all, it's been such a long time since this person has ever shown interest in talking to me, messaging, texting, or spending time together, and all of a sudden wishes to make plans. I can't figure out whether or not I was mistaken before, or else what is going on. Anyone else ever experience this kind of confusion with friends, especially during a Venus retrograde, and, if so, how do you sort it out and figure out the right answers?
Yup, had the same thing happening to me with my Leo friend. We used to be BFFs but due to miscommunication we had a falling out. During the retro she begun being friendlier to me out of the blue, which I didn't reject nor encourage. But few days ago she asks me to do her job at the hospital (when she was clearly very able to do it herself which she eventually did) and I said no. Perhaps she was under the false impression I was a doormat?? Too bad for her. We had a huge fight which led nowhere but at least we aired out some things. I still think it was miscommunication and manipulation on my boss's part for us going separate ways. But that's no excuse for how she treated me (coworkers noticed too). I got v used to not having her around, she was not there for me when I needed her most (like suicide attempt when I had noone to reach out to), she can take her friendship and shove it where the sun don't shine. I don't even care what she thinks of me. She can take her opinions with that friendship too. IP: Logged |
MillyX
Knowflake Posts: 72
From: canada
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted May 26, 2012 08:51 PM
quote:
Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
How did it turn out? Did she just want something from you? Are you guys on good terms now?
Well venus retro ain't done yet so I can't say how things are going to turn out. She doesn't want anything from me she was just wondering where I am now in life... I was really shocked at first but I decided to stop tripping & just enjoy hearing from an old friend. I'll probably see her next year since I'm transferring to the same college that she goes to [I had no idea that she went there,what a coincidence]. IP: Logged |
MePisces
Newflake Posts: 4
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted May 26, 2012 09:29 PM
I've had two exes come back. One is a Cancer, won't go there again in this lifetime. The other is a male Pisces from college.....my have I grown! IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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