posted May 30, 2012 12:35 AM            

In November of last year I met a Capricorn man who intrigued the hell out of me... We met each other and the fireworks soon started once we both realized we had a lot in common. From my perspective, we were friends who both saw the potential for us to be lovers as the mental attraction and physical attraction was electric... We went out, and he would often come over and just hang out with me. He was slow and methodical, and I appreciated that. I want a lover who is FIRST my friend (Aquarious women know what I mean... Lol). We were very physically involved, but we were not having sex. For one, for me sex means I'm all in and want exclusivity (which is a very vulnerable/scary place to be for me), and two, I knew he would respect me more if I held out, so I was keen on keeping the cookies in the cookie jar. At about the two and a half mark month, after some hot and heavy moments (cough*%$...lol) though he expressed to me that he wanted to take the relationship all the way sexually, and yes I was completely for it, but I figured it would happen when it was supposed to, no worries. Shortly after that,one night we were together and we were about to get all into the nitty gritty and he stopped. Hmmm... I asked him was it me and he said no (ummm...ok), but after that night things drastically changed and our relationship, the phone calls, the texts, the dates all but stopped. In fact, the next time I saw him after was the first time EVER he didn't kiss me goodnight... When I asked him about it he made a joke out of it as if it was nothing... But things changed... Soon after that he started putting off dates we were supposed to go on...Verbally he would say things like "we will get up next week.", "we have to go out for ______.", but those words never turned into actions. I was perplexed, sad, confused, but I NEVER bombarded him with phone calls acting crazy, I ALWAYS gave him his space, I did tell how I felt though. Toward the end I can remember a 3 hr convo we had inwhich he said he realized via our conversation that he didn't have the time for a serious relationship, but that that had nothing to do with me though (I still wonder if that was the truth)... In the ened things just fell completely apart because he showed NO interest unless I initiated it, and even still he was extremely aloof and cold. After that about 5-6 weeks went by as I had refused to call him because I was just so sick of his behaviour, and then one night I broke down and called him... Leaving him a message just stating he was on my mind and that I really missed hearing from him... I've heard nothing from him, and I placed that call in March... Lol... I know its over, and I'm a big gurl, a stubborn Aquarious, so he will never know he had me soooo gone that months later I still see him when I close my eyes. I still admire he work ethic and the manly assurance and security he brought into my life... I miss what I hoped would be "us"... But what I really want to know is WHY... Did I do something wrong? Could I have changed anything? His disappearing act was soooo unexpected, and has been soooo difficult to deal with as I don't have the closure I would like...What do you guys think about this whole situation??? I miss that goat, I was willing to let him lead my independent,prideful arse to the pasture... Lol... Your perspectives are appreciated!

posted May 30, 2012 10:43 AM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
This Capricorn man suggests that you have competition. He changed his mind right before signing that exclusivity contract.

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Your're totally right! He did change his mind before signing that exclusivity contract, damn near ripped my heart out of my chest in the process too... But what do you mean by the "competition" statement. I agree, although I can't put my finger on it, but there were many aspects of our relationship that seemed to be competitive...

posted May 30, 2012 11:24 AM            

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Originally posted by ariesdragon:
It sounds like you read the Steve Harvey book Akua lol
I will note that it doesn't work on Capricorns jk

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Your joking, buuuuut your actually DEAD on... Lol...Particularly about the 90 day rule... During our courtship I was actually trying to hold out and apply that logic... Well DAMN...

posted May 30, 2012 11:32 AM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
^^. You didn't get it. There may be other women he is prospecting from the side. Does not mean he has any true interest or that he has acted in any way. He may be in that contemplative phase. He's trying to do the right thing in his eyes by not committing to exclusivity when he is not ready. Any other guy would size up that he's got nothing to lose and go ahead with sex with you. Consider that a fortunate trait.

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posted May 30, 2012 11:41 AM            

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Originally posted by cappy1277:
you should do what you feel is right and not some laid out rule. I mean don't give out on the 1st date but if you both are at a comfort level that you all can live with, why not? We're all adults...lol. I don't advocate promiscuity whatsoever but your intuition is great guide on what you should and shouldn't do.

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In all actuality I did... When I was ready, and I thought the relationship I did, and it was at that exact moment that he did a 360... Almost as if when he knew he could have me in that way, the thrill/chase was gone, so he was gone too... I've read before that Cap men want what they can't have, and easily lose interest once the cat and mouse game has subsided. In essesnce, they want what they cannot have. Do you think there is any truth to that? I hate to think that that was his logic with me because such behaviour seems so immature, and he is a very mature individual from what I can tell... Bah hanbug!$%f!

posted May 30, 2012 11:47 AM            

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Originally posted by lilithpluto:
Forget him, babe. Plenty of fishes in the sea. He ain't the best you will get and won't be. Like YTA said, you got out lucky.

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posted May 30, 2012 11:53 AM            

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Originally posted by lilithpluto:
Forget him, babe. Plenty of fishes in the sea. He ain't the best you will get and won't be. Like YTA said, you got out lucky.

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Ur soooooo RIGHT... THANKS!!!

posted May 30, 2012 12:13 PM            

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Originally posted by akua16:
Your joking, buuuuut your actually DEAD on... Lol...Particularly about the 90 day rule... During our courtship I was actually trying to hold out and apply that logic... Well DAMN...

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posted May 30, 2012 02:11 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Capricorn male interpretations for free here. At your service

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YTA... That's great too... Thanx for ur outlook...He was my first cappy and it was a pretty stimulating experience... I must say you guys weren't on my radar until now...

posted May 30, 2012 02:12 PM            

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Originally posted by lalalinda:
Hello akua16! Welcome to LL

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HELLO!!! And thank u!