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Author Topic:   yeah...i'm a ________!
cappy1277
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From: philadelphia,pa
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posted June 03, 2012 04:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cappy1277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So I attended a party last night where my ex (?)attended.I unknowingly walked by him the first and when I came back to my circle of friends, he was standing there outside of them I guess waiting for us to acknowledge him. I just turned my back to him. I made an extra point of ignoring him but he stayed within my eyesight the whole night. I caught him glancing & sometimes staring. I made an extra effort to be preoccupied with my phone, texting and taking calls outside. I know such games...lol. I engaged in a conversation w/ some random guy- it was loud in there so he had to come real close to me to talk. All I know is that I see him walking out the door.

We had part ways & it wasn't amicable. It was a huge argument...screaming, name calling & a cheesecake was thrown. He told me he never wanted to see me again. If you have ever seen two capricorns argue, just know it's like a nuclear ww3. I still love him & miss him like crazy. It took so much self control not to throw myself on him. But he was so wrong & he needed to know how it felt to be treated insignificant like he did me. Whether or not he felt that way idk....but I can't allow myself to forgive him as to look as I am condoning his behavior. I hate how I acted towards him but I felt like he needed to be punished. Maybe he is gone for good, who knows? If we were to ever reconcile, we would really need to sit down & put all cards on the table.

We both Aquarius Venus & opposing moons- his sadge to my Gemini plus opposing ascendants his Scorpio to my Taurus. This could be a long drawn out game or the game was way over before I realized.

Do you all think I handled it appropriately? He acts like he is god's gift to women.

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aquaguy91
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From: tennessee
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posted June 03, 2012 04:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If you like him why were you talking to another Guy and ignoring him?

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ariesdragon
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From: Jupiter
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posted June 03, 2012 04:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ariesdragon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Coz she was trying to get a reaction dusty lol
Maybe he'll call & confess his undying love & affection, you never know right

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Moonfish
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posted June 03, 2012 04:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Moonfish     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Aww cappy sorry to hear your situation :[
Yes, i think you handled it well but personally I don't believe he's worth the trouble of getting back together with. Next time harder objects can be thrown.
and Instead of having a man who thinks hes "God's gift to women" get a man who thinks "YOU'RE his gift from God"

Hope I helped

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aquaguy91
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From: tennessee
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posted June 03, 2012 05:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ariesdragon:
Coz she was trying to get a reaction dusty lol
Maybe he'll call & confess his undying love & affection, you never know right



Oh well that just makes perfect sense lmao... Me personally i dont play or play along with mindgames. If a girl ignores me i assume she is not interested, because why would you ignore the person you want to "throw yourself at" as the op put it. Lol i really dont understand human behavior sometimes, but hey, im an aquarius.

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cappy1277
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From: philadelphia,pa
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posted June 03, 2012 05:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cappy1277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks for the response everyone but I think you are misinterpretating me. I said IF WE WERE TO RECONCILE.
I just wanted to know if you all thought my actions made him feel as significant as our argument. I said I can't forgive him......

Thanks moonfish!! I agree! That's why I've never bothered to try reconciling....usually our arguments result in us not speaking for a couple days but this really took the cake. I threw the cheesecake at him during the argument....

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T
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posted June 03, 2012 06:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i'm sorry, but.....

quote:
..name calling & a cheesecake was thrown.

@ss off

Youre lucky you werent dating a Taurus. He wouldve gotten the wrong idea, caught the cheesecake, devoured it and took it as a surrendering, peace offering or make-up gift and asked you to marry him.

LOL

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T
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posted June 03, 2012 06:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
& i'm sorry to hear that.

I wish I had advice to give you, but I'm too old now and my head can't go back to that time....to know what to say in this situation.

Just try to be the bigger person.

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sexyaqua30
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posted June 03, 2012 06:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sexyaqua30     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Lol cappy didn't we discuss this yesterday? Scorpio rising and taurus rising together is hell on wheels. I think the taurus rising in you love the fight and the cap in you wants what you shouldn't have. Let him be the first one to break the ice if you do choose to get back with him but just understand that this will one of many angry uncontrollable outburst to come. Remember s. Rising brings out the worst in us t. Risers.

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sexyaqua30
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posted June 03, 2012 06:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sexyaqua30     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
And lol at some cheesecake being thrown during the fight. Sorry us aquas find humour in stuff like that. I will say if you two have make up sex it's going to be explosive. Think Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Spike when they nearly tore a house down to get at eachother.

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ariesdragon
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From: Jupiter
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posted June 03, 2012 06:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ariesdragon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Or Bella & Edward when they finally did it ^^

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RegardesPlatero
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From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted June 03, 2012 06:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by T:
I'm so sorry, but....

@ss off

Youre lucky you werent dating a Taurus. He wouldve gotten the wrong idea, caught the cheesecake, devoured it and took it as a surrendering, or make-up gift and asked you to marry him.

LOL


speaking of cheesecake...

sorry, couldn't resist

thank you for being a friend and putting up with that

(for what it's worth, Bea Arthur was a Taurus).

As for Tauruses throwing food, that would probably be like blasphemy to a Taurus, though I could maybe see the more playful ones having fun with it.

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RegardesPlatero
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From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
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posted June 03, 2012 06:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sexyaqua30:
And lol at some cheesecake being thrown during the fight. Sorry us aquas find humour in stuff like that. I will say if you two have make up sex it's going to be explosive. Think Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Spike when they nearly tore a house down to get at eachother.

that made me think of this...

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RegardesPlatero
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From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
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posted June 03, 2012 06:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
On a more serious note, as for how you handled it, I can see it either way. Yes, he may have needed to know that his behavior/acting like he's God's gift to women is not OK, but, at the same time, ignoring him might not have been an ideal way to go about it. Is there any way that you guys could sit down and talk about it?

Hoping for the best for you.

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RegardesPlatero
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posted June 03, 2012 06:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ariesdragon:
Or Bella & Edward when they finally did it ^^

LMAO

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ariesdragon
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From: Jupiter
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posted June 03, 2012 06:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ariesdragon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I had a hilarious hair color fight with a friend the other day...it was pink hair color smeared all over her face, back, arms, head! I laughed sooo hard my stomach hurt! It was seriously fun!
You guys should've had fun with the cheesecake, too bad it was a fight coz it would've been really fun

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cappy1277
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From: philadelphia,pa
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posted June 03, 2012 07:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cappy1277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Lol...my name is Bea in the real world, too.

thanks for the advice everyone! I don't think reconciling is an option at this point. I am still too disappointed in him to even forget about the situation. If I forgive him for his behavior, what is it going to be the next time?? I just want to take the stance that I am not some chick with low self esteem that has to take what I can get because it is available. I have standards and even though the good times outweigh the bad, this is a threshold I am not ready to cross with him. I just hope my choice in choosing to ignore him affected him in some (I suspect it did it some way according to his FB status lol). He is used to girls fawning over him like he is a king. Not me, I consider myself a queen.
It's not a mindgame to get him to chase me....it's a mindgame to get him to notice there are chicks out there who won't put there self esteem on the line for someone they love. I want him to feel insignificant as I did when we were arguing...Once I feel that a relationship is over, in my head you passed away, I attended the funeral and put flowers on your grave.

As far as me throwing the cheesecake, I was more mad about being impetuous in throwing it because I made that sucker myself and couldn't wait to enjoy it...lol.

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Odette
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posted June 03, 2012 07:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think you handled it very badly.

The only thing this could attract is more of the same behaviour from him.
You get more bees with honey.

If you are sure it is over, then please try to move on. I would have left as soon as I saw he was there because I wouldn't want to engage in any way.

If he is savvy enough he would've picked up on you intentionally making him jealous - which would only mean that you want his attention. If you guys went out for some time, then he would know what your normal social behaviour is...

Being on the phone all the time - talking and flirting loudly with this other guy etc.... Would this seem out of character for you?
Because if it does ^ then he' would've known you are putting on a show for him.

When people have a huge argument and break up – each person is aware that the other person is hurting… because it is only natural. Any human would be hurt by this. Trying to hide it - will just literally look like you are trying to hide it.
That’s why I wouldn’t go there.

Have you seen the movie "the Breakup"?
It ends worse, when you keep taking stabs.
If you reach a point where the other person brings out such behaviour in you - that just means they are toxic for you and you are also toxic for them.
This is not a healthy emotional state.

I’m sorry to say this, but I feel like he was the bigger person here because he did not engage – he did not cause drama… he did not play games back or try to hurt you. He simply left.

quote:
he had to come real close to me to talk. All I know is that I see him walking out the door.

I have no idea what this guy has done to you in the past.. but based on the way you described his behaviour on that night - he does not seem like someone who thinks he is God's gift to women.
That kind of guy - would've just made you feel bad by talking to other women - while you were talking to other men.
But he did not engage in your game playing and he left. That means he is mature.

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ariesdragon
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From: Jupiter
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posted June 03, 2012 07:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ariesdragon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
He thinks he's a king & you're saying you're a queen lol
Talk about butting heads!

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Odette
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posted June 03, 2012 07:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Good point ^
That's how I feel about it as well.

I am not sure whether you are misinterpreting him to be more egotistical than he actually is... because of your own ego?

Do you have conjunct Suns - by degree?
Maybe your egos are just grating on each other.

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Odette
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posted June 03, 2012 07:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I want to say something else here.....

When I was in HS there was a guy who kept coming back to me every time I made him jealous with someone else... until one day I finally realised - I do not want to be with a man who *only* wants to be with me... because... he does not want anyone else to have me.

This is a kind of sexual instinct to 'possess' another person ^
BUT it is certainly not REAL love or affection.

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ariesdragon
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posted June 03, 2012 07:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ariesdragon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
I want to say something else here.....

When I was in HS there was a guy who kept coming back to me every time I made him jealous with someone else... until one day I finally realised - I do not want to be with a man who *only* wants to be with me... because... he does not want anyone else to have me.

This is a kind of sexual instinct to 'possess' another person ^
BUT it is certainly not REAL love or affection.


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cappy1277
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From: philadelphia,pa
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posted June 03, 2012 08:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cappy1277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ok....let me clarify. I'm not trying to win him back. Maybe its the lack of sleep or that I am typing this on my phone that I am not articulating my thoughts well enough. My whole point in acting this way is because he tried to make me feel so small & less of a person but it didn't work. I didn't openly flirt w/a guy in front of him purposefully...he asked me a question and because it was a loud party/concert it looked intimate if you all know what I mean? You have to lean in real close...etc.

I just want him to feel like crap that's all. Me engaging in him in anything that night would've been like rewarding his bad behavior. I know he thinks he's god gift to women...this is not something my ego conceives. He owns a nightclub and a successful man not to mention good looking & confident. Women fall over him...I used to joke and call them his fans. He eats up the attention. He thinks he's a prize...nothing wrong w/that. Its all self esteem. I get it...nonetheless I wasn't wrong in the split. Why would I need to acknowledge his presence? He chose to act and say the things he did and I chose the exit. Life goes on but in the meantime, I hope realizes that I'm not his fans or Libra ex gf. You can't treat women like that and expect everything to be OK or maintain some friendship afterwards.

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aquaguy91
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From: tennessee
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posted June 03, 2012 08:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
I want to say something else here.....

When I was in HS there was a guy who kept coming back to me every time I made him jealous with someone else... until one day I finally realised - I do not want to be with a man who *only* wants to be with me... because... he does not want anyone else to have me.

This is a kind of sexual instinct to 'possess' another person ^
BUT it is certainly not REAL love or affection.



I have had alot of girls try playing the jealousy game,it doesnt work on me, and i dont see how it works on anybody. One gf of mine was always mentioning some guy she thought was "hot" and i dont know what she was trying to accomplish, all it did was **** me off and made me not want to talk to her.

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MessyLilLeo
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From: the heart
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posted June 03, 2012 10:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MessyLilLeo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, it's a lil off topic, but my Cappy bf threw a little bit of casserole, then a huge chunk of ham at me last week, and it did disappoint my Taurus Moon a bit. My dog ended up eating it, she was very happy
Hmmm, is food throwing a Cap thing? lol

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