posted June 04, 2012 09:45 AM
he left me....
he freaked out
he wanted to let go of the commitment, but without letting go of the power he had over me
he wanted after the break up- for me †o stay his number one confidant, his supporter, his groupie..... would get jealous of my post-break up socializing....and even †hough i did n ot tell him about hooking up w someone else...he d say †hings like i feel ur doing something behing my back.
I would feel my energy drain ev time he d call me..yet i would not be able to get excited n still pick up.......so i sort
of lost my phone on purpose to get away from him............
when he finally ƒound me on email- he indirectly blamed me because our common friends were giving him attitude post-break up
At this point I snapped.....I felt he had a vampiric effect on me..and for so long I enjoyed this pain,,I enjoyed our emotionally toxic relationship,,,but I couldnt hurt myself lik e that any longer..
So I told him it was insensitive that he cares more about people's reactions- and not consider my ƒeelings of hurt...and that i want him †o disappear from my life
he did but ever since †hen i √e been having pretty powerfl dreams and visions about him
shaking w blood under his eyes...trying †o hug me....
or flirting w other girls while holding me and insisting i don † go anywheere (n turns out later our common ƒriends were giving him åttitude for flirting w others in †he same circl e)
i literally feel like i am exorcising a spirit out of me..... On some days I ll be fine, and his energy would just come
inside me...out of nowvere and i ll suddenly feel physically drained...unable to go out and would have to rest
Is he doing sthg to me? Is this me unable to let go, or him refusing to let me go?
all †he dreams feel so real....i ve never had such an intense connection..but now it s turning into a hypnotic prison
i ƒeel like a captive......i miss him but not in å pleasant way....like a toxic addiction
here r our charts
me:
Sun Pisces 19°03'25 in house 3 direct
Moon Pisces 10°51'20 in house 3 direct
Mercury Aries 0°51'29 in house 4 retrograde
Venus Aries 0°59'04 in house 4 direct
Mars Sagittarius 20°23'12 in house 1 direct
Jupiter Pisces 4°07'27 in house 3 direct
Saturn Sagittarius 9°37'43 end of house 12 stationary (R)
Uranus Sagittarius 22°14'13 in house 1 direct
Neptune Capricorn 5°35'00 in house 1 direct
Pluto Scorpio 7°07'11 in house 11 retrograde
True Node Taurus 0°34'56 in house 5 retrograde
Planets at the end of a house are interpreted in the next house.
Scorpio guy:
Sun Scorpio 1°05'23 in house 10 direct
Moon Libra 28°39'49 in house 10 direct
Mercury Scorpio 9°57'57 in house 11 direct
Venus Sagittarius 4°58'49 in house 12 direct
Mars Capricorn 13°28'52 in house 1 direct
Jupiter Capricorn 7°36'57 in house 1 direct
Saturn Scorpio 16°56'16 in house 11 direct
Uranus Sagittarius 11°21'11 in house 12 direct
Neptune Sagittarius 29°11'10 in house 1 direct
Pluto Scorpio 2°01'47 end of house 10 direct
True Node Taurus 27°34'16 end of house 5 retrograde