posted July 03, 2012 12:16 PM            

By the way, he's notoriously known, by his friends and people I know that know him, to not pick up his phone or text back after a very long time. He's just not a phone person. That and he is always working, and I mean ALWAYS.

So I text him to hang out, and no response and I leave it alone figured that he was busy with work and didn't make a big deal. A week passes by and I call him on saturday and he doesn't pick up and sent him a text to pick up his phone, it was in a nagging tone but in a more playful way.

He calls me back after that and we set up to meet the next day. It never happened, I called him but his didn't pick up.
Next day I ask what happened, no answer. So I leave it alone again, and went on with my life.

I vowed to myself that if he doesn't answer at all to a suggestion to hang out then I'm going to stop, because three times is enough. Plus I look like a major creep for trying so hard to hang out for like a day. I understand that he's got work, which is why I don't even bother to make a fuss about it.

Anyways, another week passes by and I text him to ask him whether everything was good between us and if there was something wrong because everytime i suggested to hang out there was no response.

Eventually he texts back that he was going to check his schedule to see when he was free. Now I feel that I forced him to hang out. But honestly people, wouldn't you wonder too what was going on if this situation happened to you? I don't feel like I'm being clingy but I wanted a second opinion. The reason I want to hang out is just to see him after a month of not seeing him.

I'm a pisces female by the way with moon in scorpio, venus in aries

posted July 03, 2012 04:04 PM            

You're not forced to do antyhing so why hang out? It sounds like there's some obligation and that's never a good thing when it comes to dating...

You set a boundary he wasn't respecting it so you should have left well enough alone. Now he sees that you don't respect your boundary and you'll get yourself into trouble.

I know it's not easy to set boundaries any respect them every single moment, but trust me when I say the boundaries are a filter and they eliminate people that who can and often do hurt you much worse in the future.

posted July 03, 2012 08:09 PM            

I have female friends who are close but we dont talk every day or hang out every weekend. One good friend I talk to maybe twice a month, we hang out once a month and sometimes we dont always get back to each when one reaches out. But we are very good friends and pick up right where we left off.

I cant speak on your version of a male friendship, because my friendships with men are alway, purely platonic. I dont make out or have sex with male friends. However, the same communication applies to this sex as it does the female species.

My experience with male Aqua's is like a tennis match. One of us will serve and the other hits it back. But more often he will serve and I will take the time to decide when to give back. After your agreement to be friends you should have chilled out and let him contact you, regardless of how long if he ever did.

You have to maintain subtle, not overt control at all times-especially being a Pisces. You need control of thought, action, and emotion. And its not easy, but take the time you need to get yourself together. And above all, be honest about who you are.

posted July 04, 2012 06:15 AM            

I'd probably give up, in this case. It's understandable that someone is busy with work, but if he really wanted to hang out or talk to you, he would do it. If people like you, they're enthusiastic and happy to be around you. They are not cold, distant, aloof, or unresponsive. Period. I've learned that from personal experience.

I've had this issue come up with a few people in my life. Accepting that they simply don't like me and that this is OK is really hard, but I don't see any other way to resolve the problem. As a Libra, I hate people not liking me, and it does cause hurt and bad feelings, but, at the same time, I'm getting to the point where if someone doesn't like me, I don't like them, either, and that feels a lot better than hating myself for what other people think.

posted July 04, 2012 12:11 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by kimmykim1073:

He calls me back after that and we set up to meet the next day. It never happened, I called him but his didn't pick up.

Eventually he texts back that he was going to check his schedule to see when he was free. Now I feel that I forced him to hang out.

I'm a pisces female by the way with moon in scorpio, venus in aries

His is sun in aquarius, moon in taurus, venus in capricorn

---

And it shows oh so well.

For one like everyone has said, a guy will come to you if he wants you. You seem to want him, and he thinks you guys are only friends. Bad move on a Venus in Aries part (I have Venus in Aries. I understand.) because it's just hard to accept "just friends," and plus you've got a lot of water and from your story and your pursuit, you're obviously motivated by this challenge.

Secondly, I know an Aqua guy with a Taurus moon and Venus in Capricorn. That combination really is a sweetheart when they're around. I can see why you would like him.

Lastly, you're not forcing him to do anything. He still hasn't hung out with you and he won't until you back off and let him chase you (if he wants you. Luckily with that earth influence, you might still have a chance.) Venus in Capricorn is a go-getter type of sign, so I think when he's "checking his schedule" and whatnot that is his polite way (Taurus moon and Aquarius...polite and friendly) of saying no. I think those are all fixed signs in his chart, the more you bug him (which I have to say you are kind of going overboard contacting him....) the more he'll dig his heels in (I have a Taurus moon, I hate being pushed into anything.)

Good luck though.

posted July 04, 2012 12:29 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MePisces:
You seem a little intense. If you two mutually agreed to be friends; why the pressure and persistance to hang out. Friends always eventually hang out. When one friend cancels plans, the other doesnt inquire if something is wrong, they take it in stride. When one friend reaches out but feels ignored, they dont take it as a slight.

I have female friends who are close but we dont talk every day or hang out every weekend. One good friend I talk to maybe twice a month, we hang out once a month and sometimes we dont always get back to each when one reaches out. But we are very good friends and pick up right where we left off.

I cant speak on your version of a male friendship, because my friendships with men are alway, purely platonic. I dont make out or have sex with male friends. However, the same communication applies to this sex as it does the female species.

My experience with male Aqua's is like a tennis match. One of us will serve and the other hits it back. But more often he will serve and I will take the time to decide when to give back. After your agreement to be friends you should have chilled out and let him contact you, regardless of how long if he ever did.

You have to maintain subtle, not overt control at all times-especially being a Pisces. You need control of thought, action, and emotion. And its not easy, but take the time you need to get yourself together. And above all, be honest about who you are.

You dont need to contact him anymore. He will reach out to you if he wants to. Be prepared either way.

---

Well, to be fair, though, if you don't hang out a lot, how is the other person supposed to feel connected?

I have a friend who is like you--to her, it's perfectly OK to not talk to me for weeks or months at a time, and feels like it's perfectly OK to not see me for a few years.

However, I just have to say that not everyone can feel connected with little or no contact. I personally can't. I'm a Libra sun/Merc with a Cancer moon (plus Venus in Scorpio).

If I talk to someone, I do expect that person to reciprocate at some point. Generally, a week. Two weeks if they're busy; three if super-busy. More if they've had a major event in the family. However, at some point, I do feel like I should get a response, and I feel like that is appropriate.

Ignoring a person, especially if you don't ignore others, can be communicated to people as a lack of interest or else a wish to be left alone. It sends the message that one is annoying, disliked, being avoided, and the other person would prefer if all contact was cut off. Silence is a refusal, a rejection, and a withdrawal, and it is perfectly understandable for a person to feel slighted because it is hurtful (not to mention anxiety-inducing and embarrassing) not to get a response and to have someone back away from you.

Not trying to insult or anything, but my point in saying this is to explain that just because someone feels hurt by being ignored and can't stay connected without communication/time together doesn't mean that they aren't a real friend. What it means, to me, is that the friends need to communicate their needs and their styles of interacting so as to avoid misunderstandings. It's not really fair to expect the person being ignored to be OK with it, given how being ignored makes a person feel, and especially if (a) other people are not being ignored and (b) if you do not communicate clearly and directly.

Honestly, the only way that I don't feel hurt by being ignored is if I know that the other person really does like me and is not truly ignoring me. I don't make that assumption, though. I have to really feel that. If I don't feel like someone really does like me, then I don't feel secure or like things are OK. If I'm ignored enough, I will dislike and avoid the other person, shut them out of my life, and give them the silent treatment, since being ignored conveys that this is what they'd prefer.