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Author Topic:   Why does this person hate me so much?
sweet-scorpion
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posted July 03, 2012 02:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Here is our synastry. She is on the outside, I am on the inside.

I really need help... I am really stuck with this. I feel like my family is very much in need of help, especially this one person. She is extremely jealous and hateful of me, and acts childish and psychotic around me. Calling me names, screaming at me, cursing me out, and saying some of the cruelest and most pointed, specific insults you could ever invent about someone. She even insulted me about being an astrologer.

It's apparently because too many people in my family focus on me and not her. How people are 'obsessed' with me and I guess, not her and her family. How no one has 'kicked my ass' or 'put me in my place' like her mom did to her.

I'm very angry with this person but their fury is terrifying to me. Mainly since, I never knew they hated me so much and they are a spectacular liar about their feelings, I guess. Looking at the synastry do you think she secretly loathed me all these years, because of all the quincunxes? Maybe the Moon-Pluto one? Thanks to all who leave opinions...

------------------
"Perfect love casts out fear."
-Anthony de Mello

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VenusDiSirius
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posted July 03, 2012 02:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Which is you,on the inside?

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VenusDiSirius
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posted July 03, 2012 02:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dp

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Ami Anne
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posted July 03, 2012 02:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by VenusDiSirius:
Which is you,on the inside?


Yep, I want to know, too lol

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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VenusDiSirius
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posted July 03, 2012 02:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can see it if the person is on the inside,Sat on Mars,Plu on Sun,Nep on Asc,lot of pressure.

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sweet-scorpion
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posted July 03, 2012 02:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by VenusDiSirius:
Which is you,on the inside?

Sorry about that. I was so upset I didn't realize.

She is on the outside. I'll edit the original post now...

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VenusDiSirius
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posted July 03, 2012 03:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Her Moon conj Mars seems like 8 degrees..in Gemini no less,could show signs of foul mouth. Are you sure she didn't idolize you at some point?

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sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

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From: PA, USA
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posted July 03, 2012 03:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by VenusDiSirius:
Her Moon conj Mars seems like 8 degrees..in Gemini no less,could show signs of foul mouth. Are you sure she didn't idolize you at some point?

This is actually a great insight Venus. She seemed to be one of my so-called 'crowd' at a point in my life, I was literally like a child to her growing up, she was like a second parent to me. We spent so much time together, way beyond what an aunt usually does with a niece. That is why my heart feels so broken right now. So maybe idolize is the right word for it - she and my Uncle seemed to. Now it seems I am the enemy to her...

She really does have a horrible, horrible mouth, one of the meanest ways of insulting people as I've ever heard though. But it comes out so unexpectedly, like she hides it for years then explodes in vicious, scarring torrents. Possibly from her retrograde Mars?

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VenusDiSirius
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posted July 03, 2012 03:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Is she successful,professionally? h6 ruler on MC; And you two have Mars conj Sat,you may be the spark that riles her up,dreams not fulfilled,Saturn ruling her H11?

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Ami Anne
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posted July 03, 2012 03:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
She wants to control you. She shakes you up--mentally, like breaks down all your old ways of looking at things.


There looks like a lot of love there and that the purpose of your relationship is to bring love to each other.

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Ami Anne
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posted July 03, 2012 03:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In fact, I would add that she is super, super controlling of you

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal


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Faith
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posted July 03, 2012 03:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi there,

You both have Scorpio NN. I think there can be both great understanding and power struggles with that. My husband and I have the same thing, we are both NN in Scorpio.

I just want to say this, as a fellow Scorpio NN person. It took me a long time to learn to feel okay with walking away from, and blocking out, people who poison me with their energy. I used to feel obligated to try and help or fix them. I guess this is my stubborn Taurus SN wanting everything just so, wanting everyone to get along.

My sister is the ultimate case in point. I spent decades beating myself up over the fact that I couldn't "fix" her. Then I just quit. I said, "She is crazy and this is just beyond what I can help with." Out of compassion for myself, I opted out of the relationship.

I wish her well, send her positive energy, and never talk to her. What she demands of me I cannot give. I simply don't have it. But I can love her and want peace for her anyway. And I do this about other people as well, as the need arises. If I cannot leave them physically I can cut them off mentally, refusing to think about them at all, except an occasional well-wishing if I'm feeling charitable.

Just my experience on this nodal axis, dealing with toxicity.

Hope you feel better soon!


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Lonake
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posted July 03, 2012 05:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
She really does have a horrible, horrible mouth, one of the meanest ways of insulting people as I've ever heard though. But it comes out so unexpectedly, like she hides it for years then explodes in vicious, scarring torrents.

Merc sq Pluto, egged on by Aries Jup. Your Sun is in the thick of it.
Her Saturn negative aspect to your Merc, wants to control what you have to say. What a downer.

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sweet-scorpion
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posted July 03, 2012 08:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by VenusDiSirius:
Is she successful,professionally? h6 ruler on MC; And you two have Mars conj Sat,you may be the spark that riles her up,dreams not fulfilled,Saturn ruling her H11?

No, she isn't anymore. It seems she just tries to compensate for the fact that she has OCD and an obsession with germs and contaminants by shutting herself in all day with her kids and forcing them to do strict learning regimens and treating them like students.

She was a teacher once. Yes at one time, she did manage to get her Masters but she was so bad in high school and I'm surprised she managed to not go to jail for bad, petty stuff she kept doing and doing all the time. But her wildness added up and she openly admitted she didn't care about scores or grades that much; yet later admitted she just wanted her Masters since her friend got hers and that made her unhappy to know she was beaten out? (WTF)

That conjunction doesn't seem good. I did a bit of research and it seems that this aspect puts the brakes on things for us... so it seems that she really IS a control freak then.

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sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

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From: PA, USA
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posted July 03, 2012 08:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Originally posted by Lonake:
quote:

Merc sq Pluto, egged on by Aries Jup. Your Sun is in the thick of it.
Her Saturn negative aspect to your Merc, wants to control what you have to say. What a downer.

I figured it could be the Sun-Pluto conjunction causing serious issues. I have it with my mother as well and our relationship has been very tumultuous over the years, but in our relationship it's pretty much the exact opposite... my mom doesn't have any control over me (but I'm not a bad, wild person, she just never has bothered to try to discipline because I had a higher IQ plus never misbehaved).

You're totally right, I didn't notice that. The Merc-Saturn square is probably what makes me feel so limited and wary in my expressions around her. She always uses words I say against me...

I feel like she really is bombarding me with all of her obsessions and strangeness, as you said my Sun is basically getting dumped on by her ****** aspects. 8(( What can I do? I feel there's no way out, the Pluto contact is what makes me so connected to her but, also so afraid...

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sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

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From: PA, USA
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posted July 03, 2012 08:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
Hi there,

You both have Scorpio NN. I think there can be both great understanding and power struggles with that. My husband and I have the same thing, we are both NN in Scorpio.

I just want to say this, as a fellow Scorpio NN person. It took me a long time to learn to feel okay with walking away from, and blocking out, people who poison me with their energy. I used to feel obligated to try and help or fix them. I guess this is my stubborn Taurus SN wanting everything just so, wanting everyone to get along.

My sister is the ultimate case in point. I spent decades beating myself up over the fact that I couldn't "fix" her. Then I just quit. I said, "She is crazy and this is just beyond what I can help with." Out of compassion for myself, I opted out of the relationship.

I wish her well, send her positive energy, and never talk to her. What she demands of me I cannot give. I simply don't have it. But I can love her and want peace for her anyway. And I do this about other people as well, as the need arises. If I cannot leave them physically I can cut them off mentally, refusing to think about them at all, except an occasional well-wishing if I'm feeling charitable.

Just my experience on this nodal axis, dealing with toxicity.

Hope you feel better soon!



Wow - thanks for the wonderful advice Faith. <3 That was very sweet of you to offer your RL situation, and you sound so much like me. I think that's how Taurus SN plays out for me too, I've always tried to fix things and make things better, doesn't help I'm a Libra deep down either. :/

I think you're right, about us having strong wills and needing to change others and situations we don't like. But it appears that I am the one who is more pure in my actions and motivations, and she is the one who is more malicious and sneaky, plotting in her drive to get people under her thumb and change things to suit her liking. She is a messed up person; she wants change and control for the worse, I for the better. But as you said, I'm not going to waste my time any more trying to give gentle counseling about how to get her crap together, or be sweet to her to keep her from being angry, etc. etc. It just isn't worth it, since I struggle in the end and it makes me extremely depressed seeing I have failed to get her to be 'normal' as she used to be to me again.

Thanks for wishing me well. She isn't talking to us now, but I can't get over it easily... who knows what'll happen soon. I'm worried but I'll stay strong. :')

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sweet-scorpion
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posted July 03, 2012 09:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
In fact, I would add that she is super, super controlling of you


Yes, she tries to be now.

She used to also try to subtly change me into a submissive, rule-obeying kid... but I was never bad anyway, I just had more free reign since my mom and dad weren't around a lot and weren't strict with me. She always tried to get me to be quiet, do the right thing, not talk too much, give me consequences, etc. It wasn't enough to make me hate her or feel uncomfortable around her and ironically enough, these things she tried to do didn't work anyway. I never became a different kid, I was always strong-willed but in my eyes, I was good. She was nitpicking at me.

I think the Jupiter quincunxes are tough too. Her Jupiter falls into my 4th and makes a triple quincunx to my Jupiter, NN and Venus. I don't quite know how this plays out for us yet. I do know that, in the quincunx situation the planet(s) that reign higher in the chart are usually what dominate and the planets lower, are like the slaves to the planets above. So maybe she feels like I get too much love and attention and it makes things for her, in 4th house situations - i.e., our family which she obsesses over - go sour... her luck runs out from my Venus-Jupiter conjunction that makes people naturally give me a lot in our family and really love me. What do you think? :/ Maybe that's a long shot but the triple quincunx really stood out to me.

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Lonake
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posted July 03, 2012 10:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
She always uses words I say against me...

I feel like she really is bombarding me with all of her obsessions and strangeness, as you said my Sun is basically getting dumped on by her ****** aspects. 8(( What can I do? I feel there's no way out, the Pluto contact is what makes me so connected to her but, also so afraid...


Ya gotta love an insecure Saturn to someone else's Merc

Awhl rite, ocd with all that..interesting.
Just noticed her Merc is sq your Sun, in that one Sun doesn't want to listen to what Merc has to say typically considering it outside the realm of significance, sometimes even laughing at it. You're the Sun so if you want to work at it, maybe be more sensitive to her ocd issues, and just bring it out into the open, don't respond to her attacks, just go straight to the source and see what happens. That way you take the attn off of you, where it doesn't belong, and put it on her. Other than that, schedule time away from each other as much as possible and don't give in to her bs. You're the younger one, but you have to be more mature, stand your ground, and don't get sidetracked by her issues that she puts on your shoulders. Draw boundaries, but stay respectful if you want to help steer its course to something closer to what you want it to be. And if you start on that course, you have to stick with it. Let go and she'll think that you're not serious about making a change in the relationship. Good luck hon

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sweet-scorpion
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posted July 03, 2012 10:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lonake:
Ya gotta love an insecure Saturn to someone else's Merc

Awhl rite, ocd with all that..interesting.
Just noticed her Merc is sq your Sun, in that one Sun doesn't want to listen to what Merc has to say typically considering it outside the realm of significance, sometimes even laughing at it. You're the Sun so if you want to work at it, maybe be more sensitive to her ocd issues, and just bring it out into the open, don't respond to her attacks, just go straight to the source and see what happens. That way you take the attn off of you, where it doesn't belong, and put it on her. Other than that, schedule time away from each other as much as possible and don't give in to her bs. You're the younger one, but you have to be more mature, stand your ground, and don't get sidetracked by her issues that she puts on your shoulders. Draw boundaries, but stay respectful if you want to help steer its course to something closer to what you want it to be. And if you start on that course, you have to stick with it. Let go and she'll think that you're not serious about making a change in the relationship. Good luck hon


You are really right. She IS totally insecure and she has even admitted to me, How can you talk so well for being so young? Why can't I ever say anything 'smart' like you do? It's kind of pitiful actually... I have an extremely commanding way of speaking, and her retro Mars in the 3rd only gets her attention when she speaks by her screeching at the top of her lungs... which makes everyone so freaked they either stay far, far away or laugh their ***** off (most of the time I'm in the latter category!).

You are right about that Merc-Sun aspect too. I agree, this is my way out of it all, probably... the fact that I know she is really a deranged and deluded person and most of what she thinks and says is crap. I'm glad I have the ability not to get sucked into it all. This aspect must be what frustrates her, why I wouldn't give into her little sidelong disciplinarian tactics she tried to place on me growing up!

Thanks for the advice, I really am going to keep it in mind as darker days lie ahead, lol... I am going to use the strength side of H3 Saturn in my case and use my own intelligence to one up her hissy fits and tantrums that have a void behind them, just narcissistic emptiness.

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Faith
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posted July 03, 2012 11:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^ Yeah that really sounds like my sister. Also sounds like my best friend's sister, who is not right in the head.

Eventually, people who refuse to get their act together will show their true colors to everyone who interacts with them. My sister lied about me and created awful situations for me years ago, and it hurt like hell when people mistook her abuse as a "fight" between two equally hostile sisters. She was just dumping on me.

Ditto for my best friend whom I've known almost my entire life. Her sister has been horrible.

In time, my sister messed up badly enough that everyone woke up to what was really going on, and I even got some heartfelt apologies, which were unnecessary but...you know what? Validation feels good.

So I wish that for you. And I hope these mentally ill people seek help.

Cheers

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slowpoke
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posted July 04, 2012 01:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for slowpoke     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Look to S 90 MR, M 90 MR, MY 90 MR, MY 90 Mc &, MY 0 UR.

This may help some:

http://astro.cafeastrology.com/cgi-bin/astro/comp2f

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Lonake
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posted July 04, 2012 03:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
Thanks for the advice, I really am going to keep it in mind as darker days lie ahead, lol

Any time ~

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