posted July 03, 2012 09:14 PM            

At the time I was scared of getting involved with him, so I guess I acted a bit aloof since I was shy and scared. Also, I had a feeling he wasn't being sincere with me and that he didn't feel as strongly as I felt about him. In my diary I actually wrote that he told me that he wanted me to become his gf, but that he was afraid I didn't feel the same way about him (I thought the opposite, that he didn't feel the same about me).

I remember we used to talk for hours, but some of his actions didn't make me feel comfortable, such as blocking me at certain times (there was a way to find out if someone did this back then in AOL, lol) so I immediately saw that as a red flag that he's talking to other girls. Another time his excuse for not calling me is because he went to the pier with his "friend" (years after the fact I found out it was his girlfriend, which he started dating a month after we met offline - by this time I lied to him and told him I didn't like him - which was a big fat lie of mine). So, my intuition was correct (I was 17), he WAS talking to other females (about 3) and he lied, basically.

I guess that's part of the reason I was "scared" (besides the fact that I was head over heels for him and didn't want to get hurt). I came to find out the "extra" information (such as him talking to me and other girls at the same time) after many years when we reconnected and I brought the "past" up.

Sorry if this is long, bare with me. He also told me at the time (after I started dating his best friend and a week later he started dating the other girl -- long story) after we had an argument that he just wanted to have "fun" (ie: sex) with me. I'm not sure why he saw me that way since I was definitely not the type to look "sexy" -- I actually was and looked innocent for my age, I was a prude.

Anyway, by this chart and his significator being Saturn in 12th house (but weak in Cancer?) would you say that's all he wanted from me? sex? My significator is The Moon..there's a square between Moon and Saturn..negative? He didn't like me enough for me to be his gf when we first met in real life??

I just want some peace of mind . I know this is silly, but I haven't been able to heal from this experience. It was one of the most "traumatic" I have encountered, since I was "in love" (honestly believe I was, it was love at first sight. The only person I felt this way about) with him and I'm afraid he didn't feel the same and was just toying with me.

So can anyone confirm this by taking a quick look at the chart? Anything you can pick up..I'll greatly appreciate it!

(Disregard the "significators" I'm not sure if you're supposed to use them in this type of chart??)

Sorry for the long post. Hoping someone can help a little at least..thanks in advance.