posted July 04, 2012 12:45 PM            

I do have my issues with her and I'm sure she has hers with me but the difference is I will bring them up and she won't. And I also feel like we are old enough (mid-twenties) that I shouldn't have to plead with her about this.

In any case, she has not texted me at all the past two weeks except for a couple of days. She hasn't been engaging and she hasn't invited me to do anything. It's not that I wait for her invitation but we usually make plans and all of a sudden things seem weird. When I saw her last I asked her why she hadn't texted me at all, but her reaction was "Well why haven't you texted me?" Fair enough, except it's a manipulative answer and avoids the truth. I suppose I haven't reached out to her because I feel like that's what she wants and at this stage I'm highly annoyed there's these subtle power struggles going on, yet I don't want to give into it and continue being at her disposal asking for her attention. I guess you could say my feelings towards her as a friend have changed over the last four months, but things were going well enough.

I've thought maybe she really is just busy, but I don't believe anyone is busy enough not to be able to text. She also mentioned how she went to an art show with a mutual friend and his friends. Okay... why wasn't I invited? I didn't say that, because I feel like that might've been the reaction she wanted.

I've wondered if she's trying to "distance" herself because my childhood friend is moving here at the end of the month...but my Scorpio friend has offered to help me clean out the extra bedroom we have for her arrival. I haven't accepted or declined it... I feel she has ulterior motives for helping me do that. It's a long story but basically she does not like my childhood friend. Another reason is maybe I've done something wrong, but again I'm annoyed there is this whole "guessing game." I'm tired of playing those after all this time so no, I haven't asked her what's wrong. Actually after typing this it suddenly occurred to me maybe she sensed I had a problem with her long before I realized that's the kind of vibe I was putting out.

posted July 04, 2012 12:57 PM            

Honestly, I think that she feels threatened by your childhood friend--like you guys won't be friends anymore, like your childhood friend will replace her, and like she'll just be tossed aside once the childhood friend arrives.

I think that she may be trying to create distance so as not to get hurt.

She may want you to text as reassurance that you still do like her and want to be around her.

She may be excluding you because she feels jealous or hurt or both.

I can tell you that it takes a lot for me to bring something up. I know, I know, I'm a hypocrite for that one. Still, I hate conflict and confrontation, which is a Libra thing (you mention her having Mars there). I have to be really pushed or something has to be serious for me to talk to someone about it. I hate to risk losing a relationship.

My biggest indicator--my signature move--if I am upset is to avoid, shut out, and give the silent treatment. I will also do that if I feel that someone does not like me, even if I do like the person.

I think that you will probably have to talk to her directly, and show her that you do still value her as a friend. I can't guarantee that she'll take it well, but it might be the only way to try to settle things.

posted July 04, 2012 02:23 PM            

I would just text "sorry" and say that you get the *feeling* that you did something to upset her and that it was not your intention and she is very special to you

Sounds mellow dramatic but she sounds like she is doing the whole "silent war" thing so common with scorpios. We dont even realize we do it but our emotions get so intense that we shut down and its actually better than the alternative, blowing up.

posted July 04, 2012 08:04 PM            

When I started university I sort of stopped responding to the messages of my best friends in high school.

Then again, after university I lost contact with some of my closest friends.

Why ? Because I had changed, they changed and I no longer felt like I belonged with them. I felt like they wouldn't enjoy my company anymore as well.

I don't know what it's like in your case.

If it's about you, she might be feeling like she has had enough of you, and that you have had enough of her Scorpios make decisions after evaluating the situation for months, and they are usually final.

posted July 04, 2012 08:44 PM            

Anyway, I remember they were saying something like Aries/Scorpio both ruled by Mars, one is the warrior and the other is an assasssin type.

posted July 04, 2012 11:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Milkyshutter:
Your story just reminded me of the first astrology book I read. I don't even remember, like 15 years ago?

Anyway, I remember they were saying something like Aries/Scorpio both ruled by Mars, one is the warrior and the other is an assasssin type.

I don't think you will leave her anytime soon. You know it! I think you are obssessed with winning her trust. So, I guess you'll just have to give into it. Scorpios can deal with emotional games. Aries can't.

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How do you know this?! It's true! I don't know why I try so hard because I know I'm a good friend and I've BEEN a great friend to her and yet she can still get me to bend. I hate it! But at the same time I roll my eyes and store in the file of things I change to keep the peace in my friendships, or a "that's just how they are."

As an update I did text her when I wasn't feeling so P.O'd about it and I said "So are you and me okay? I'm used to hearing from you and getting invited to places and lately it's felt a little chilly." She said she wasn't doing it on purpose (....) but that I seem to be doing things with others lately anyway and she's been low on money. I said "Okay but I don't get why if I hang out with other people you have to drop off the face of the earth. And I know you don't like so and so anyway or you know I'd invite you." And she said she wasn't doing it intentionally to hurt my feelings and that we're fine. Ugh, not the truth and not a lie. I know her. Whatever, at least we're talking and it's not uncomfortable.

I also have a Taurus moon and she has a Capricorn one, is that why we're so bound to one another?

posted July 04, 2012 11:40 PM            

Scorpios have more respect for that.

Often on LL - I feel like you are the sort of person who - no matter WHAT someone does - you will still try to be nice and sort things out and be friends or ... you'll still like them romantically if they are a guy - as though it is all "good"..
Even when they have behaved badly.
I don't understand this (having a Cap Moon myself).

If you don't TEACH people how to treat you - they walk all over you... It happens pretty often - not every time.. since there are good samaritans walking amongst us.. But it happens *enough* times - for you to be able to have boundaries & standards.. Don't put up - with anything and everything.

posted July 05, 2012 01:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Hannarama - Do you have limits and standards?
Do you ever have a line that - if someone crosses it - you just say goodbye?

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I can see where other people's boundaries should be, or guide other people to find their boundaries but honestly no... I don't. For one I'm sort of a lost soul at the moment, and two I have weak boundaries. It's amazing to me how intense I come off and how people are intimidated by me but if they knew me it would probably be a complete 180.

quote:

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Scorpios have more respect for that.

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What about someone who calls them out on their behavior?

quote:

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Often on LL - I feel like you are the sort of person who - no matter WHAT someone does - you will still try to be nice and sort things out and be friends or ... you'll still like them romantically if they are a guy - as though it is all "good"..
Even when they have behaved badly.

I don't understand this (having a Cap Moon myself).

---

I don't know if I'm overly sensitive (that's probably it, but I'm leaving it open) or just apathetic, but I see no point in avoiding her. The last time I avoided her and got seriously angry, we didn't speak for four months. It seemed like a waste of time instead of just talking to her and communicating.

quote:

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If you don't TEACH people how to treat you - they walk all over you... It happens pretty often - not every time.. since there are good samaritans walking amongst us.. But it happens *enough* times - for you to be able to have boundaries & standards.. Don't put up - with anything and everything.

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You're right.

quote:

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Scorpio girl is in the wrong here... so avoid her.
Do you think she will just go on through life without you?
Because I assure you after 7 yrs of friendship she *needs* you.... Scorpio is a fixed sign. They don't just end long-term friendships unless there is serious reason. So she will get over it.

You don't have to be the one chasing her - when she's the one being a cow. Give her space for now. [/B]

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Actually, yes, I do. She doesn't hold girl friendships in as high as regard as guy ones. And I wasn't afraid of her ending it, I was annoyed at being ignored... I mean, too late now as I already texted her and whatnot but I'll try to remember this conversation in the future. Do you think it's my Sun and Venus square Saturn and Neptune? Or a personality deficient instead?

posted July 05, 2012 01:40 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by hannaramaa:
How do you know this?! It's true! I don't know why I try so hard because I know I'm a good friend and I've BEEN a great friend to her and yet she can still get me to bend. I hate it! But at the same time I roll my eyes and store in the file of things I change to keep the peace in my friendships, or a "that's just how they are."

As an update I did text her when I wasn't feeling so P.O'd about it and I said "So are you and me okay? I'm used to hearing from you and getting invited to places and lately it's felt a little chilly." She said she wasn't doing it on purpose (....) but that I seem to be doing things with others lately anyway and she's been low on money. I said "Okay but I don't get why if I hang out with other people you have to drop off the face of the earth. And I know you don't like so and so anyway or you know I'd invite you." And she said she wasn't doing it intentionally to hurt my feelings and that we're fine. Ugh, not the truth and not a lie. I know her. Whatever, at least we're talking and it's not uncomfortable.

I also have a Taurus moon and she has a Capricorn one, is that why we're so bound to one another?

---

Scorpio is a very powerful sign, so her action may "override" cap moon. The way you described her is a typical scorpio traits I think. She knows who you are. She probably sized you up instantly. Aries are simple and straightfoward. They go for what they want.Scorpios are somewhat different. They have a lot going on in their plate that they are insecure in nature. Yet, they are not the ones who will depend on someone to fill in the gap of insecurity. They are used to dealing that themselves, and probably mastered how to embrace emotionl pain. They can remain in solitude as long as they want, if they choose to do so.

Paradoxically, you may have known this already, and the challenge she is giving you is feeding the energy for your conquest, if you will.

posted July 05, 2012 02:02 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Milkyshutter:
Scorpio is a very powerful sign, so her action may "override" cap moon. The way you described her is a typical scorpio traits I think. She knows who you are. She probably sized you up instantly. Aries are simple and straightfoward. They go for what they want.Scorpios are somewhat different. They have a lot going on in their plate that they are insecure in nature. Yet, they are not the ones who will depend on someone to fill in the gap of insecurity. They are used to dealing that themselves, and probably mastered how to embrace emotionl pain. They can remain in solitude as long as they want, if they choose to do so.

Paradoxically, you may have known this already, and the challenge she is giving you is feeding the energy for your conquest, if you will.

I stand corrected. This is not a game. There is no "game" for a scorpio. It's just who they are. She is your friend. Just accept who she is.

---

Something about your tone tells me you speak the truth! She didn't size me up though, I sized her up. I act more like a Scorpio at times and her an Aries - it's weird. So... can you (or anyone reading knowledgeable about Scorpios) tell me how to handle this following situation better?

I am used to watching my friends go out and meet guys and get attention while I remain "the funny one." Sometimes I'll get hit on, sometimes I won't. Whatever. What I can't STAND is when my Scorpio friend will compete with me, for a guy she doesn't even want. And she won't admit this but it infuriates me from the bottom of my stomach. I've gotten so angry and furious with her before. What happens is this - she meets a guy and likes him as a friend, obviously he's a guy and at our age guys aren't looking for new "friends." He likes her. As she's telling me the details of their coming together (as in meeting) I'm thinking in my head I already know how this is going to play out, why does she bother? But I have a tendency towards negativity and often try to counter it. So she introduces me and the guy, we either hit it off or we don't.

In one instance we didn't click but we were attracted to each other. Him and Scorpio clicked better on a friendship level and became very close, she continued to call him one of her "best" friends even after she knew how much I liked him. I liked him SO much (he was a Leo, I'm an Aries - DUH.) and she refused to change anything about the way their friendship functioned for my sake.

The other instance was the Sag with Venus in Scorp whom I'm sure you've all skimmed over by now. He was obviously into her but she downplayed her interest in him (if there was any on her part) and introduced us instead, only to have it come to a halt again when the focus was turned on her and how good she looked. She'll dress up for guys she doesn't even like or care about.

posted July 05, 2012 02:50 AM            

quote:

---

Do you think it's my Sun and Venus square Saturn and Neptune? Or a personality deficient instead?

---

I'm not sure. I just think maybe you don't care about yourself enough. You think so much about other people and what they want... and what you could/should be FOR them - to make them happy or to attract them etc...
The point is - BE yourself.. and attract those who like you for you.

posted July 05, 2012 02:54 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Odette:
Hannarama -

I'm not sure. I just think maybe you don't care about yourself enough. You think so much about other people and what they want... and what you could/should be FOR them - to make them happy or to attract them etc...
The point is - BE yourself.. and attract those who like you for you.

If Scorpio girl is SO petty that she would stop talking to you for this reason (because your friend is coming here) - she just does not deserve attention for her pettiness.

---

No it was for an even better reason (you're going to love this Odette, lol) things were "boring" for her lately. She was "low on money." and I was "hanging out with X, and Y anyways lately." UGH. As time passes I get re-POd. I never stop to digest and think about what someone is truly saying to me before I respond...damn.

posted July 05, 2012 03:11 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Milky - Your Sun Sign generalisations bore me to tears.

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posted July 05, 2012 05:01 AM            

I used to do that when I was 15.
The mind games, insecurity and jealousy, whatever.

If she doesn't treat you with respect, then leave her alone.

Usually Scorpios don't end friendships that started a long time ago, so I doubt she'll ever cut ties. She may distance herself, stay silent or talk to you less (basically what she's doing now) but I don't think she'll ever tell you "I think we should end this". That's just not how most Scorpios work. We're too fixed for that. Unless she has some serious cardinal energy, things are bound to stay the same... and I'm afraid if you want things to get better, you'll have to do the first step.

That said, just try to live your life and don't focus on her too much.

If she considers you a good friend she'll come to you.

posted July 05, 2012 05:27 AM            

When I read your comment that she "has a hard time trusting", even after seven years, I can really relate to that myself. There are people that I've known for years and I still don't honestly feel secure enough to feel like they wouldn't tell me to leave. One of them seems really frustrated that I still feel insecure. However, I honestly don't know how to feel secure with people, unless I feel it intuitively and I feel like they profit or benefit from me somehow--like they get something out of it.

I can also relate to feeling threatened. I feel that way whenever I'm hanging out with someone and they bring up their "best" friend. It's like oh, yeah, I'm just kind of here, filling space. I also feel that way about people's boyfriends, especially when they distance themselves from me while with them. I would never admit to that to them, though. I know it can be a bit petty, and I don't like feeling that way. Still, I always feel like I'm second-string with people, and never like I'm the person that they really want to spend time with, never first-tier or first choice.

I honestly don't know how to make her feel more secure, other than showing her that you want to be around her (while still not allowing her to walk all over you or disrespect you). The only thing that makes me feel secure is intuitively knowing that someone likes me and will like me even when I mess up--knowing that someone sees the good in me, that the good outweighs the bad, that they genuinely do like me and won't give up on me or kick me out of their lives.

I really wish that I knew what to say/do, but the only thing that I can think of is a very direct, honest, no-holding-back conversation.

posted July 05, 2012 05:32 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by beckylee:
As a scorpio, I have done similar things in the past.

When I started university I sort of stopped responding to the messages of my best friends in high school.

Then again, after university I lost contact with some of my closest friends.

Why ? Because I had changed, they changed and I no longer felt like I belonged with them. I felt like they wouldn't enjoy my company anymore as well.

I don't know what it's like in your case.

If it's about you, she might be feeling like she has had enough of you, and that you have had enough of her Scorpios make decisions after evaluating the situation for months, and they are usually final.

If it's about her, keep talking to her and she will respond.

---

I've done that a few times.

If I do not feel like someone likes me, and especially if I feel like I make someone uncomfortable or like they are avoiding me, I will eventually stop trying with them and will give up on them. I've dropped a few friends for the reason of not feeling like they wanted to be around me. I sometimes have felt bad about it, but I couldn't deal anymore with feeling like they wanted to get rid of me, or like they'd outgrown me, or like I was no longer wanted or needed--like I was dead weight.

I've dropped others for not feeling like I fit in or belonged with them, and when I felt like they didn't really care about me and weren't there for me when I went through some really rough things.

posted July 05, 2012 05:33 AM            

I kinda have a similar issue with my (former) best friend, we've known each other for 10 years but we're still both a bit insecure about our connection! We're both Scorpios with afflicted Saturn (natally and in synastry) and it's hard to break the ice even after all this time.

posted July 05, 2012 10:44 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Oh also, Hanna, do you have strong Saturn in the synastry?

I kinda have a similar issue with my (former) best friend, we've known each other for 10 years but we're still both a bit insecure about our connection! We're both Scorpios with afflicted Saturn (natally and in synastry) and it's hard to break the ice even after all this time.

We tend to hold back a lot but weirdly we can handle it, I guess us both being Scorpios helps.

---

I think we do, if I remember correctly we have Venus trine Saturn and some other stuff. Her birthday is 10/27/87, birthplace Oklahoma City, OK, and birth time is 8:10 or 8:11. Just giving it to you if you wanted to see for yourself, I don't need a summary or anything like that.

posted July 11, 2012 07:45 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Odette:
Hannarama - Do you have limits and standards?
Do you ever have a line that - if someone crosses it - you just say goodbye?

Scorpios have more respect for that.

Often on LL - I feel like you are the sort of person who - no matter WHAT someone does - you will still try to be nice and sort things out and be friends or ... you'll still like them romantically if they are a guy - as though it is all "good"..
Even when they have behaved badly.
I don't understand this (having a Cap Moon myself).

If you don't TEACH people how to treat you - they walk all over you... It happens pretty often - not every time.. since there are good samaritans walking amongst us.. But it happens *enough* times - for you to be able to have boundaries & standards.. Don't put up - with anything and everything.

Scorpio girl is in the wrong here... so avoid her.
Do you think she will just go on through life without you?
Because I assure you after 7 yrs of friendship she *needs* you.... Scorpio is a fixed sign. They don't just end long-term friendships unless there is serious reason. So she will get over it.
You don't have to be the one chasing her - when she's the one being a cow. Give her space for now.

---