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Author Topic:   I know I married him but...Scorpio/Leo relation
redshift
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posted July 04, 2012 08:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for redshift     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
After posting about the crazy pisces crush I'm trying to keep friendly and platonic and seeing a post about Leo men with gem moons, it got me thinking about my own marriage. It's been a bit tough for the last couple of years on my end. He's an outstanding guy. Really loving, unwaveringly so. Very open and expressive and patient and giving. Insanely generous and smart? Holy moly is he smart. Yet, I'm feeling a rift on my end that I can't explain or put my finger on. When I look at his chart, I wonder how the heck I ended up with him and sometimes wonder if his mom got his birthdate wrong! Can anyone see anything significant in the synastry?

PS: Does being a twin ever do odd things to a person's chart?
http://s1150.photobucket.com/albums/o614/redshift2/?action=view¤t=me_t_syn-1.jpg

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no_enemy
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posted July 04, 2012 10:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for no_enemy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
are you inside or outside on the chart? whoever is outside has sun in other persons 7th...significant for marriage, but that's the first thing i noticed...still looking...

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redshift
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posted July 04, 2012 10:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for redshift     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh whoops. I'm on the inside.

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Lioness
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posted July 04, 2012 10:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lioness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm thinking that mars/saturn conjunction is a source of problems..
Mars feels restricted by saturn..
(from what I remember)

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Joy11
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posted July 04, 2012 10:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Joy11     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Are you the inner circle, and your husband is the outer circle?
You have a sun-uranus conjunction, which speaks of things being fun, but unpredictable. That's the first thing that jumped out at me. Sun square moon can be tough, but not unworkable.
The pluto-mars connection is a double hit in the chart. His pluto opposes your mars and your pluto squares his mars. You must energize each other at some deep level. Maybe that causes fights sometimes?
His sun's in your 7th house, so you see him as a partner. It opposes Saturn, which, if you use it right, means there's a sense of responsibility for each other

Your moon's in his first house, so you probably make him feel like a million bucks.

If you're feeling tempted to cheat, then there's something wrong, though. I've been there, and I know the feeling. I was being deeply neglected as a person, and dying inside. It was like torture--a slow, cruel, painful death, with no end in sight. The other man wasn't trying to seduce me, but he didn't realize that by paying simple personal attention to me, it was like water on a dying flower. I couldn't help being attracted to him; he was giving me what I sorely needed. It was a scary time, because before this happened, I was one of those people who would "never ever" cheat.

Which of your planets do you feel is being repressed or unheard? Bring it up with your husband. He's a Leo, which means it might take awhile to get it through his head, but with your maneuvering Scorpio ways, I'm sure you'll figure out how to do it best. LOL.

But his sun, it's in his 12th house, which can mean he has a difficult time expressing his feelings. The 12th house is the house of secrets, of dissolvement into the collective, so it's a hard place for a Leo sun to be, and it could be difficult to get him to talk about his true feelings.

I have a brother with a Leo sun in the 12th house. He's very Leonine, no doubt--funny, outgoing, generous, creative, center of attention... but at the same time, he has an unusually difficult time talking about his feelings. When he was dating his now-wife, nobody knew how serious it was; we all thought it was just another high school girlfriend. She moved away for awhile, for her job, and one day I was talking with my brother. He was joking around like normal, and suddenly, out of the blue, his voice cracked, a tear appeared in his eye, and he said, "I miss [her name] more than oxygen." Who knew???

All that to say, your husband may have a difficult time nurturing your feelings the way he needs to. You may need to get some counseling. He needs to learn this like a skill.

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no_enemy
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posted July 04, 2012 10:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for no_enemy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
you're a double scorpio...with mars in aries...You have a lot of positive synastry with him, nothing too temperamental or damaging going on (your suns are not square by degree, only by sign), but his pluto opposite your mars...look into that. You might feel the need to test your escapist skills....
This website is slightly charged, but note the depth here: http://theastrologyplace.blogspot.com/2012/01/mars-pluto-synastry.html

edit* didn't notice your pluto square his mars. wow. you guys have some games to play this is one of them. How far can you test each other? I had this placement with someone...it's deadly ... aka..the relationship died. I killed it. by playing games! Pluto will always call your bluff and mars will always be holding back something...lol it's entertaining...but really hard on hearts.

In my pluto mars relationship...even our marriage was a game. He played me, I called his bluff, we got married...he couldn't keep up the game, I called his bluff again and we divorced 5 months later...lol worst mistake of my life but definitely a learning lesson. I'm a double scorpio too.

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Lotis White
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posted July 05, 2012 03:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lotis White     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

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Doux Rêve
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posted July 05, 2012 05:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Lotis... again ! Love your insights.

What I notice, is your Venus is unaspected. Yes, it does fall in his 5th, but it doesn't receive any planetary energy.. so your loving feelings towards your husband may have faded away with time.

Also, his Moon is unaspected.. again, it falls in your 5th, which is good! But it may not be strong enough, because there is no contact to an actual planet. So he may feel emotionally disconnected from you, or you from him. There may be a barrier between you that's hard to understand and overcome.

His Mercury is unaspected also. He may find it difficult to really express his deeper self, his real feelings and thoughts. There may be a lack of communication or misunderstandings.

But that Moon/Venus conjunction in his 1st and in your 8th looks really nice. You *do* have things to offer to each other. There's definitely some affection going on and feelings of love were present and can be reawaken.. at least I think so.

The thing is to talk things out and try to connect with your husband on a deeper level. Try to reach his true self, his soul.

I don't think it'd be wise for you to have an affair... but it's your life, and I cannot tell you what to do! But, I really think you should try and mend things with your husband first.


Also, what does the composite look like?
Maybe a transiting planet is making a hard aspect to a key element.


I can see that transiting Saturn is near his Pluto and your Uranus. It's an unsettling time for you both.. You may feel the need to break free from obligations while your husband may be going through some inner conflict or a deep transformation of some kind.

Also, transiting Jupiter and Venus are in your 5th, that would explain why you want some romance and maybe even a new affair/lover. You crave some fun, good feelings and love!

All the while these same planets are in your husband's 10th house, so maybe he's too focused on his career? Maybe he doesn't give you enough attention..

Anyway, I hope you'll be able to sort this all out soon!

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redshift
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posted July 05, 2012 07:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for redshift     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow, great insights everyone. I'd just like to say that I'm really not considering an affair. I want to work out my marriage issues. Just having trouble understanding them. It seems to be mostly me.

Lotis White, I don't know how to post degrees. Which sort of chart is that found int?

No Enemy, I don't think I am a double Scorpio, but what you said about escapist tendancies, is very relevant. I will look more into that aspect.

Joy11 Very touching analogy about the dying flower. I understand it well, though in my case it seems like the water my husband offers, just isn't helping me revive. I'm definitely thinking more about which planet seems to the most unheard. I feel like he loves me for my Sun, Mercury and Mars a lot, but my moon and Venus feel really unappreciated for the last couple of years. I feel like such a virgo and a cap(no offense to cap and virgo, but I'm just not comfortable with these energies in me) with him now, whereas before, I felt like mostly my Scorpio/Sun and Mars/Aries energies were shining bright, which I much prefer.

I'm really aware of a my tendency to want indepedance and new begininings yelling to be heard, so I'm trying to honour that without leaving my husband behind by finding the problem area. I'm not sure where to look at that in my chart or our chart. It feels like a Jupiter thing?

Doux Reve, what you said about the unaspected moon, venus and mercury makes a lot of sense. I think you may have located the trouble that for some reason has come to the forefront. That with the transiting Saturn you mentioned seems really accurate. We were very much in love for years, and he still seems to be in love with me, but I feel very very distant. Like I'm on a boat drifting away watching him waving and smiling from shore with no idea that I may not return even though I am waving my arms and shouting it to him. And it's not because of any other man. I know any crush I have is just an indicator of trouble in myself.

I have the composite chart here http://s1150.photobucket.com/albums/o614/redshift2/?action=view¤t=comp.gif

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Doux Rêve
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posted July 05, 2012 07:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
redshift, I am sorry to hear that you're feeling disconnected form your husband. It must be hard especially since you can't control such feelings.

I think you should talk to him about it. Of course it's a very delicate issue and it's not gonna be easy or pleasant, but maybe you need to let it out, to let him know.

Transiting Saturn is in your composite 12th house, which means that at this time issues may be coming out of seemingly nowhere and you may not want to deal with them, so instead you act like nothing is wrong but the issues keep growing. It's also square the composite Moon, which reflects emotional distance and a feeling of alienation.

I'd say, talk things out and *wait*. Wait a bit until Saturn moves out of Libra, which is by October I think, so it will be out of orb with your natal Uranus, his natal Pluto and your composite Moon and 12th house.

Things should get clearer once it gets close to the composite ASC, which I think will be a crucial time for your marriage. It will either consolidate it, or dissolve it.

I wish you the very best.

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redshift
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posted July 05, 2012 11:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for redshift     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
redshift, I am sorry to hear that you're feeling disconnected form your husband. It must be hard especially since you can't control such feelings.

I think you should talk to him about it. Of course it's a very delicate issue and it's not gonna be easy or pleasant, but maybe you need to let it out, to let him know.

Transiting Saturn is in your composite 12th house, which means that at this time issues may be coming out of seemingly nowhere and you may not want to deal with them, so instead you act like nothing is wrong but the issues keep growing. It's also square the composite Moon, which reflects emotional distance and a feeling of alienation.

I'd say, talk things out and *wait*. Wait a bit until Saturn moves out of Libra, which is by October I think, so it will be out of orb with your natal Uranus, his natal Pluto and your composite Moon and 12th house.

Things should get clearer once it gets close to the composite ASC, which I think will be a crucial time for your marriage. It will either consolidate it, or dissolve it.

I wish you the very best.


Thank you very much Doux Reve. I really appreciate it. You've been very helpful on this post and my pisces post. I think your observations really hit home from one scorp sun/virgo moon to another

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no_enemy
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posted July 05, 2012 12:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for no_enemy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:

No Enemy, I don't think I am a double Scorpio,

I hope I didn't offend with what I said, lol, I thought it was amusing and adorable...about the games...anyway. wow now I sound condescending...everyone plays games once in a while. you have to do it to learn not to. Scorpios are known for turning over the apple cart and looking for that one rotten apple...whether or not it really exists--they will see it!! .. : make sure you are not doing this....and if you are, TALK about it to him.
Aren't you a Scorpio sun/merc with cap rising?

either way this is a slightly plutonic relationship. which can be exhilarating. but damaging. unfortunately

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redshift
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posted July 05, 2012 01:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for redshift     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by no_enemy:
I hope I didn't offend with what I said, lol, I thought it was amusing and adorable...about the games...anyway. wow now I sound condescending...everyone plays games once in a while. you have to do it to learn not to. Scorpios are known for turning over the apple cart and looking for that one rotten apple...whether or not it really exists--they will see it!! .. : make sure you are not doing this....and if you are, TALK about it to him.
Aren't you a Scorpio sun/merc with cap rising?

either way this is a slightly plutonic relationship. which can be exhilarating. but damaging. unfortunately


Oh I took no offense, no worries. Sorry, I thought being a double sign meant you had to have your sun and moon or asc in the same sign. I didn't know mercury counted. Whoops.

I've thought more about the Mars/Pluto and while I don't think it's as volatile as it seems like it can be, you are right about escapist tendancies and I think I am pushing his boundaries, maybe even for the sake of it like Scorps sometimes do. I'm hearing you no_enemy. Thanks!

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Doux Rêve
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posted July 05, 2012 05:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by redshift:
Thank you very much Doux Reve. I really appreciate it. You've been very helpful on this post and my pisces post. I think your observations really hit home from one scorp sun/virgo moon to another


You're very welcome. Your Moon is right on my Moon! I've never had that before, not IRL anyway.
And, as a Virgo Moon, I like feeling useful and helping people when I can. You probably know what I mean.


quote:
Originally posted by redshift:
Sorry, I thought being a double sign meant you had to have your sun and moon or asc in the same sign. I didn't know mercury counted. Whoops.

Actually.. you were/are right. When people say "double -insert sign here-" it means the person has the Sun AND Moon or ASC in the same sign! That's how it usually goes, at least.


Sending you positive energy, redshift! I hope everything will work out for you.

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redshift
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posted July 05, 2012 07:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for redshift     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks Doux Reve. I for sure understand liking feeling helpful and usefull and helping to organize thoughts and feelings for others right? Not just for ourselves

Thanks for clearing up the double sign thing and thanks for the well wishes. I'm going to do my best.

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redshift
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posted July 05, 2012 09:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for redshift     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
HOLY COW

I just realized I did a typo on my husbands birth year! I've posted the new charts comp and syn! I don't blame you if you don't want to look again


He's inside, I'm outside.

Do I ever feel like a dork. He is an astrology skeptic and for some reason, I never looked at his chart or anything so I didn't even notice. I brought it up with him as a discussion starting point and he noticed right away that the year was wrong!!

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Lotis White
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posted July 05, 2012 10:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lotis White     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

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redshift
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posted July 05, 2012 10:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for redshift     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've posted both charts in this album here. I'm the scorpio sun, he's the Leo.

Much appreciated! http://s1150.photobucket.com/albums/o614/redshift2/m%20and%20t%20chart/?start=all

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Doux Rêve
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posted July 06, 2012 02:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi again redshift,

So um.. wow. The right charts are so much better. There's so much potential in there, I think. All the planets are busy there! Which is good.

The one thing that jumps out at me is that your Uranus falls right on his stellium. This means that there is (was) a lot of excitement and attraction between you two, but that the feelings may be unstable or changeable (especially on your part).

Also, his Saturn squares your Venus and your Saturn widely conjuncts his Venus. While it's good for the long-term because it gives a sense of responsibility to the people, it can also create some distance and barriers to the free flow of affection. He, as the Saturn person in the square configuration, may unconsciously (or even consciously) restrict your loving feelings or their expression. Same goes for you.. It's not a doom aspect though, and you have some very good connections which make me think that you should be able to overcome the present difficulties.

His North Node (and more widely, his Venus) on your DSC, and his Sun & Mercury in your 7th makes it a very powerful relationship because there is a strong sense of being meant to be together.

His stellium falls in your 9th.. which can mean that he expands your horizons, whether mentally, spiritually or physically. It's not a romantic overlay per se but it usually gives good feelings and some optimism. Maybe he challenges your beliefs, or wants you to have the same beliefs as his. It's also true for you because your Mars falls in his 9th.
So maybe you guys need to find a common philosophy of life/belief system so you can "reunite" through a common interest.


In the composite you guys have Sun conjunct Moon widely conjunct Mercury and trine Mars, which is very good. It's damn good actually, I'd say! There's definitely a lot of potential for understanding, comfort, self-expression and overall balanced energies. Venus opposite Pluto probably makes it a quite intense relationship, ar at least it used to be, because the feelings you have for each other are deep. I think you should definitely try and work any issues out!

So anyway, transiting Saturn is still being hard on you. So what I said before still applies. It's in your composite 12th and near your natal Uranus, and will soon (re)cross his stellium! I think that's where the issues are coming from. You kinda want your freedom or at least less restriction and maybe even some change, and he probably has a lot to deal with right now (internally maybe, like feelings of discouragment, or even externally ie problems at work, difficult circumstances).


So! All in all, I'd say you can work this all out, if you really want to. Maybe take some time away from your husband.. or find a way to change something in your environment so that your desire for change (even unconscious) is satisfied. And just take it one day at a time. You can talk things out with your husband, I think you guys should be able to come to a compromise.


Best of luck!

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redshift
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posted July 06, 2012 07:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for redshift     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm not surprised the transiting Saturn showed up again because it is SPOT ON! Also, the saturn/venus aspects you interpreted are really a big thing for me and I'm relieved to see where they are coming from. It's comforting to be reminded of the heaven's effects when you feel like you are doing something wrong and can't figure out why.

Intuitively, even as an amateur, beginner, his new chart make way more sense to me. I kept wondering what the heck was going on?

Thanks so much Doux Reve, for taking another look. Very generous of you

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