posted July 08, 2012 08:52 PM            

could anyone tell me what planets or aspects relate to this?

all i can say is that the men never came out the same after they were with me. even when things ended badly, even when there was hurt. it is as if, the men realized something about themselves, and made an effort to change that negative characteristic of themselves afterwards.

but at the end, i never got to be the chosen girl.

the men grow, but they give their new transformation and better selves to the next women they meet.
i always end up being more of the 'teacher'.

i dont know if this means i was also a rebound girl too. not sure.

they always tell me, "i never realized these things about myself until you told me" or, "ive grown/matured so much after being with you"

very sad for me.
and with my current crush, it seems like history will be repeating itself.

posted July 08, 2012 09:01 PM            

I've yet to absolutely determine what it is in my chart but I would bet it's Pluto exactly conjunct Karma asteroid (3811) and it's in my 5th house of love affairs. Have a look to see if you have these two aspecting each other at all. Pluto is change and transformation and karma is karma. If one of your bits of karma is to be a catalyst for change, then my bet goes to this aspect or one like it. You could also look to see whether Karma is aspecting Chiron (healing) or Saturn (duty, teacher and more karma)

And yes, I agree. It sort of stinks.

posted July 08, 2012 09:23 PM            

this is what i have.

posted July 08, 2012 09:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Milkyshutter:
Do you have strong virgo placement?

Anywho..the last thing men want is another mommy. You are not going out with them to fix their provlems. I think you will do fine in your next relationship

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this has nothing to do with being a mommy.

it is very different. it is like, they just realize stuff.
and it has nothing to do with fixing their problems either.

posted July 08, 2012 09:32 PM            

Agreed - the last thing I want (or need) is to rescue a man. A baby pigeon? Sure. Did it last week. Kittens? Yep. That was last month. A man? No, merci.

posted July 08, 2012 09:47 PM            

I know a lot of couples who learn things from each other and then stay together and continue to grow. Or there is a natural ending. In my case (I won't speak for chocogold) it seems the moment the "thing" I was there to complete is done, that's it. Boom. Over.

Example - Helped an ex (by "accident") find his birth mother. Relationship over.

Repeat several times and stir

posted July 08, 2012 09:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
hmm i have similar experiences, but not exactly, in my case its like i build them up more then teach them lessons.

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THERE.

so, it is not as if i was a mommy, getting all worried or being cancerian toward them, or telling them what to do.
it is like...when they were with me, they felt that they really wanted to reach their best potential. things that they were afraid to do, they lost the fear.
i felt as if i was a cheerleader, encouraging them.

and once they did those things that allowed them to feel better, become better people. it was: ciao bella!

posted July 09, 2012 12:22 AM            

ETA: If your Saturn is aspecting the other person's personal planets, whether it is a hard aspect or an easy aspect, you function as the teacher. Saturn is not a fun planet to interract with, so it's not surprising that those men move away after learning their "lesson." However, Saturn can have a positive influence as well, and actually allow you to cement a relationship.

Eventually, you might attract a man who might become your teacher, instead of you teaching him stuff, and in this kind of relationship, you could become the chosen girl. Be aware that this man might also be older.

posted July 09, 2012 02:50 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Belage:

Eventually, you might attract a man who might become your teacher, instead of you teaching him stuff, and in this kind of relationship, you could become the chosen girl. Be aware that this man might also be older.

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yikes, had a similar experience with this, and didnt care much for it. very controlling and father-like, condescending.
i prefer a more balanced scenario where both people are growing. i wouldnt mind a young guy with some saturnian stuff...but just no daddy figures. yikes.

another thing...

they always say that i act older than my age, this is another thing.
ever since i was a child, i always acted way older than everybody else.

does this have to do with saturn in the 7th?

i swear, this aspect sounds like a curse.

posted July 09, 2012 02:52 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by vertiver:
Yes listen to Belage! ^^^

Don't give up. I know its hard to experience your ex doing better without you in the picture, but part of that is perception. They probably did struggle at some point and most likely you weren't aware. Don't play the victim card. That helps no one. You will be the chosen girl someday, just don't think about these coincidences with your exes.

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thanks vertiver,

im just you know...philosophizing stuff. looking at patterns, and realizing stuff about all of these relationships, and how i may have been partially to blame for it too.
it helps, because at least, i know what i dont want in the future, you know?

posted July 10, 2012 06:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Belage:

Eventually, you might attract a man who might become your teacher, instead of you teaching him stuff, and in this kind of relationship, you could become the chosen girl. Be aware that this man might also be older.

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I'm pretty sure i'm a teacher, almost every girl i've ever had any semblance of a relationship i've helped them to grow, see their own self worth, and believe in themselves. See things more clearly, brighten up their lives, make them laugh, make them smile, help them to be at peace and develop as a person, and make them just more aware of the world and people around them. I've helped them achieve things they never thought they could.

The same is true for all of my friends, i'm always the person that everyone comes and talks things through with and whoever it says always say i'm so insightful.

I learn bits and pieces from people but i'm not sure if i've found my guide. If I have and realise it, i won't ever let them out of my life. If I haven't, i'll keep searching.

Some people are born teachers and givers

posted July 10, 2012 11:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by chocogold: yikes, had a similar experience with this, and didnt care much for it. very controlling and father-like, condescending.
i prefer a more balanced scenario where both people are growing. i wouldnt mind a young guy with some saturnian stuff...but just no daddy figures. yikes.

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I want you to think about what you just wrote.

Could that be what those men feel when they are in a relationship with you when you're busy teaching them stuff?