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Author
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Topic: What things, aspects cause this?
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hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 1847
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted July 11, 2012 02:53 PM
  
Soo... I'm wondering what aspects would cause discomfort in accepting a nice gesture from someone. Some of my quirks are: not letting others paying for me (I don't mind paying for them, but prefer to split the bill if they insist on paying for me.), or if a new romantic partner cooked me dinner including lit candles...awkward city for me! The mushiness behind it just makes me cringe. Seeing other people do that for each other is nice to me though. Before when I was younger and I thought or found out someone had a crush on me I would get queasy, nauseous even just seeing them or thinking about their feelings towards me.Do we look at Chiron? or squares to Saturn? IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 1997
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted July 11, 2012 02:57 PM
I totally agree with you on the Chiron and Saturn thing. I do think the hard aspects *could* be manifested that way. Maybe Neptune, also.IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 1847
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted July 11, 2012 03:00 PM
I mention this as I notice my asteroid name is opposing Chiron. How lovely... :PIP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 1997
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted July 11, 2012 03:05 PM
Aww.I know someone who's a bit like this.
Chiron conjunct Venus and Sun/Mars trine Saturn.
They also have Moon opposite Neptune so I think it's a combination of factors really. IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 8270
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 12, 2012 10:22 AM
Your Venus/Saturn.IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 1847
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted July 12, 2012 11:42 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Lonake:
Your Venus/Saturn.
Probably. So what - I gotta wait 10 more years before I feel comfortable being served a romantic dinner? Stupid squares.. IP: Logged |
CAY_512
Knowflake Posts: 100
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted July 12, 2012 11:52 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Probably. So what - I gotta wait 10 more years before I feel comfortable being served a romantic dinner? Stupid squares..
I have a Venus/Saturn square and I have been married for about 10 years. I can say I have never been into hearts&flowers and romance, even when we first started dating. I married a Capricorn personality. I also have saturn in the 7th.
It works out for him because I don't have expectations for Valentine's day. Couldn't care less. I like that he is a rock and is there through thick and thin. I don't like mushiness either. It doesn't touch my heart. What does touch it is stability and knowing I can rely on his word. IP: Logged |
sweet-scorpion
Knowflake Posts: 469
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted July 12, 2012 12:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Some of my quirks are: not letting others paying for me (I don't mind paying for them, but prefer to split the bill if they insist on paying for me.), or if a new romantic partner cooked me dinner including lit candles...awkward city for me! The mushiness behind it just makes me cringe. Seeing other people do that for each other is nice to me though. Before when I was younger and I thought or found out someone had a crush on me I would get queasy, nauseous even just seeing them or thinking about their feelings towards me.
You sound SO much like me. I have Saturn square my Descendant. I also have Venus trine Saturn. I'd look at your Saturn, Descendant, Saturn-Venus connections, and as you said, if Chiron contacts your Venus. When a Sag Sun Libra Moon guy wrote me a sappy love letter once, I almost vomited. Not out of rudeness, but because of how like you said, just queasy and awful it made me feel. Unless I feel deeply for someone first, i can't fathom the idea of them liking me or seeing me as a sex object.  I think I do a lot better with Earth Moons for this reason. I do all right as friends with Cap Suns and pretty great with Cap Moons in more intimate relationships. I tend to avoid guys with a lot of Sag and Libra as a result of my own issues. I like guys who are more realistic or really, just not sappy and overtly flirtatious. IP: Logged |
ueharaa
Knowflake Posts: 121
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 12, 2012 12:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Soo... I'm wondering what aspects would cause discomfort in accepting a nice gesture from someone. Some of my quirks are: not letting others paying for me (I don't mind paying for them, but prefer to split the bill if they insist on paying for me.), or if a new romantic partner cooked me dinner including lit candles...awkward city for me! The mushiness behind it just makes me cringe. Seeing other people do that for each other is nice to me though. Before when I was younger and I thought or found out someone had a crush on me I would get queasy, nauseous even just seeing them or thinking about their feelings towards me.Do we look at Chiron? or squares to Saturn?
I'm sort of like this too.
I can definitely relate to feeling of discomfort when people do something nice. I don't let people pay for me, and I can insist a lot on this, the only way I'll let someone pay for me is if I know next time we go out I'll be the one paying for the two of us.
I don't accept presents. Even from my own family. Whenever I'm asked what I want for my birthday I reply "nothing, I don't need anything" but still some people get me something and I have a really hard time taking their gifts. Sometimes I even considered giving it back to them because maybe then they would understand that I really don't need anything.. but hey it's a bit rude so I still take it but not without repeating many times "you really shouldn't have" and not the "aw you real shouldn't have, it's too sweet, bla bla" but more in a shocked, I-don't-understand-why-you-did-this "you really shouldn't have". I had done a bit of thinking about this at one point and came to the conclusion that the main reason I was feeling so uncomfortable was because I felt people felt obligated to offer me something ,to pay for this or do a "material" nice gesture.
I'm not overtly romantic neither. candles dinner ? valentines gifts and all the idea is nice but the picture of me in such a scenery, well I'd feel a bit ridiculous. AS for finding out someone had a crush on me, well I never believed it. If someone tells me they like me, they appreciate me, I won't believe them. I take it more in a "you're useful to me" way than in a genuine "I love you" way. I'm not sue if it somehow relates but it is also very difficult to accept the help of anyone. I do things on my own. When people offer help, I just plain refuse it. But I do help others when I can and even if they pretend not to want it I'll try to do it  I have a a retro aquarius venus in the 7th house and a saturn chiron opposition. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 1847
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted July 12, 2012 04:50 PM
quote:
Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
You sound SO much like me.I have Saturn square my Descendant. I also have Venus trine Saturn. I'd look at your Saturn, Descendant, Saturn-Venus connections, and as you said, if Chiron contacts your Venus.
I think I do a lot better with Earth Moons for this reason. I do all right as friends with Cap Suns and pretty great with Cap Moons in more intimate relationships.
Wow I just met a Sag sun, Libra moon guy! I was head over heels with him but yes, the overly flirtatious bit would seriously irk me! Let alone if I was a true Scorpio. I too have an affinity for Capricorn ASC, or Capricorn moons. I don't know a lot of Capricorn suns but they're alright. Next is Tauruses. I have Moon trine Saturn, but Sun and Venus square Saturn, and Saturn is also in my 7th house.
IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 1847
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted July 12, 2012 04:52 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ueharaa:
AS for finding out someone had a crush on me, well I never believed it. If someone tells me they like me, they appreciate me, I won't believe them. I take it more in a "you're useful to me" way than in a genuine "I love you" way. I'm not sue if it somehow relates but it is also very difficult to accept the help of anyone. I do things on my own. When people offer help, I just plain refuse it. But I do help others when I can and even if they pretend not to want it I'll try to do it
I see what you mean. Whenever someone tells me I love you (and actually my friends rarely tell me that...hmmm. Guess I gravitate towards what makes me comfortable without even realizing it.) it doesn't make me feel anything. If I find out someone has a crush on me, I don't believe it either or I think they're just lying to get in my pants. I think it relates...Saturn has to do with structure and control I think. So not accepting anyone's help is a way of showing your independence but you also only have to hold yourself responsible if things don't get done vs. the responsibility of sharing that blame with someone else. Maybe? IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 8270
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 13, 2012 01:10 AM
You know what's likely to happen, depending on how they're situated, is that Venus'll progress to form a sextile or trine to Saturn. If it goes Rx somewhere then the process will take a bit longer. It's a maturing process, you have your own brand of romance, but you have to accept it as being right for you and then admire these qualities in yourself and others. The sq feels out of sync, making you feel like something's wrong. The Saturn return will teach you more about how you've handled this and you'll probably see really clearly how you can change for the better if things are awry, if together and it's solid it'll reaffirm the commitment. Also t.Saturn in trine to n.Venus, pay attn to what's going on then. It's fleeting but it'll give you tips that you can pocket for the future. So if you really wanna dig into this then hopefully you have a good memory or a journal to get some dates to start pulling up charts. Look at your trends. If that's intimidating then just look at where sa. and p.Venus are right now, what they're doing to the natal, if they're being affected by transits, and take it from there.IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 1847
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted July 13, 2012 01:24 AM
I looked and if I'm not mistaken. t.Saturn is sextile t.Venus. However, t.Saturn is near opposition n.Venus..., and in the 5th house no less.IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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