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Author Topic:   Aries Woman Needs Help Understanding Cancer Man
brokengirl
Newflake

Posts: 2
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2012

posted July 24, 2012 07:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for brokengirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
First, I apologize for this being so long. I am an Aries woman(3-31) and I have been talking to a Cancer man(7-7). We have known each other for 4 years. We don't always see each other, maybe once a week if that. In the time we have known each other he has told me about his life little by little including his divorce a few years ago. We have always joked around and he can "dish it out" to which I dish it back, then we laugh.

He is a wonderful father to his kids, a sympathetic ear when I need it, and always makes me laugh. However, he can also be very in your face when it comes to some things, and has a take no **** attitude from anyone. I think this may stem from his being hurt in his divorce and he has built a wall to protect himself. He says that love and relationships are all ****. He can be caring at times, but is not the typical Cancer that I have read about. Unless he is different behind closed doors, which I have never been around.

Around the end of May he asked me what I was doing for Memorial Day and I told him spending time with my mom who had just had a procedure done. He then backed off for a while and the joking around was light. He came around again and we then became friends on Facebook. And for a while he would put silly comments on things that I posted. All fun. But after a while he backed off. Now for about the last month his joking has become more sexual than usual. I joke back and its fun but I don't want it to be all about just that.

And now about a week and a half ago I was sick. So I posted on FB that I was "sick and you could dress me up but couldn't take me anywhere". So the next day when I saw him he said "I wouldn't take you anywhere with all that **** wrong anyway." To which I responded "then you will have to wait until I am better." He got real quiet. And then he was like "I'll just post something funny on your page." Which he did later that night.

The weird thing is that when he walked around to say goodbye to me, he had a look in his eyes I had never seen before. They were very deep and he actually looked like he was going to cry. His eyes were kind of misty. Why?

Since then, I have not seen him. His job has kept him busy, and when I go online on FB, if he is already on there he will go offline. He hasn't said anything or sent any messages. Nothing. I figured that if he wasn't interested, or I did something wrong, that we know each other enough for him to at least be honest and upfront with me.

I feel like I have offended him and hurt him. But I do really like him and am very attracted to him. I would like the chance to spend more time with him and get to know him more.

Should I reach out to him and make the first move? Do you think I should apologize to him?

Do you think he may feel the same way about me?

If he does then why is he acting this way?

I do understand his trepidation about being hurt again by another possible relationship, and he needs to make sure whoever he brings around his children is acceptable

I am very confused. And am not quite sure what I should say or do when we finally do see each other again.

Any help is appreciated. Thank you.

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awakemer
Knowflake

Posts: 257
From: sherman oaks, ca,USA
Registered: Aug 2011

posted July 24, 2012 08:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for awakemer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
do you know his year of birth and place? if possible time too?

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awakemer
Knowflake

Posts: 257
From: sherman oaks, ca,USA
Registered: Aug 2011

posted July 24, 2012 08:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for awakemer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
its hard to say what is really going on without hearing how things are said and body language.. i don't know why he would get offended.. how did you say "then you will have to wait until I am better." Cancer people are really insecure and will never make the first move,ever.. they fear rejection.. even if you show signs of interest.

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brokengirl
Newflake

Posts: 2
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2012

posted July 24, 2012 08:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for brokengirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Birth year is 71 but I don't know where or when.

When I said he could ask me out when I was better, I was very sincere and serious. I have had the feeling that he has wanted to ask me for sometime now, and I thought that maybe I was breaking the ice a little. That's why even after I said it, and he joked a little, the look in his eyes really took me back.

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RegardesPlatero
Moderator

Posts: 3390
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted July 24, 2012 08:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In my personal experience, if you think that someone is avoiding you, they are. Don't push it.

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RegardesPlatero
Moderator

Posts: 3390
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted July 24, 2012 08:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by awakemer:
Cancer people are really insecure and will never make the first move,ever.. they fear rejection.. even if you show signs of interest.

I have a Cancer moon (my only Cancer placement) and I am like that.

I also don't expect people to still like me until I feel secure with them. I don't assume that because someone is nice to me that they like me, until I get that secure feeling.

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beckylee
Newflake

Posts: 15
From: japan
Registered: Jun 2012

posted July 25, 2012 07:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for beckylee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You are friends, right ?

why don't you send a msg on fb and ask how he's doing ?

Or post something funny on his fb page.

If he doesn't respond, you can ignore him too :P

Don't waste your time thinking about it.

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Cynnared
Knowflake

Posts: 906
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 25, 2012 11:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Cynnared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by brokengirl:
Birth year is 71 but I don't know where or when.

When I said he could ask me out when I was better, I was very sincere and serious. I have had the feeling that he has wanted to ask me for sometime now, and I thought that maybe I was breaking the ice a little. That's why even after I said it, and he joked a little, the look in his eyes really took me back.


There could be a possible Sun square Uranus in his chart. I find Sun-Uranus HARD aspects give the owner a bit of commitment phobia.

I am also an Aries woman and I have a Cancer moon to boot!

Sometimes it is a huge challenge for a self protective Cancer to let anybody in their life. They feel things to the extreme depths of their soul and if they have been hurt before, they want to be self protective and not go back down to that painful depths. (IF the Cancer is a highly sensitive type. Some don't fit this description)

There is usually an unspoken trust that needs to be earned and they will sit back on watch your actions and how you behave to figure out if you are suitable for their life - keeping distant, yet friendly, in the meantime. They keep very close attention to what is said etc....sometimes they will adapt to how you are and say things that would suit you. They come and go - showing interest and backing off - as you had described.

An Aries woman LOVES the chase and pursuit. They appreciate things direct and forward. They will work their hardest to show another that they are funny, dynamic, intelligent and a wonderful catch too.

The Sun is strong in Aries and the sign has a bit of an Ego.
The thing with dealing with emotional and protective Cancer types is to remove the ego and be objective. There is nothing that you did wrong and you are not the reason why he backs off - even though I did write above about Cancers being observant and weighing out if one would be a suitable pick in their life. This is THEIR issue.

My instinct in this would be to go one's own way and find more adventures to have fun with and leave the Cancer alone. Maybe a loving Leo or an outdoorsy Sag will show up.

Just my opinion any how.

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