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Author Topic:   True that NN in Taurus can't get real love?
andstuff
Knowflake

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posted August 18, 2012 07:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Morning LL,

I happened to read Jan Spiller not so long ago [astrology of the soul or whatever it's called], and s/he spends a great deal of time going on about how people born with NN in Taurus never seem to find real love.

Like, every time they develop a connection/fondness for someone circumstances take that love away from them. There might be an accident or some kinda betrayal, but every time they fall in love for real it doesn't last.

Spiller apparently suggests that the only sort of relationships they can get excludes the possibility of really being close and really falling in love.

Pretty derogatory I guess?

So I was obviously wondering if it's true. This happened to me once, it was really bad. So I haven't met anyone I'd really be able to develop feelings for, but I'm scared that when that happens everything will be taken away from me again.

Would be super-grateful for absolutely anything. Is it true about this kind of curse? Why does it have to be like that?

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VenusDiSirius
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posted August 18, 2012 07:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
N O.

Don't distress yourself with such presumptions. NN is coloured by sign's themes : Taurus,to taste the life fully,and love being big part of it,but the sign doesn't deny anything.

Does he say similar for Libra NN?

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andstuff
Knowflake

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posted August 18, 2012 07:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by VenusDiSirius:
N O.

Don't distress yourself with such presumptions. NN is coloured by sign's themes : Taurus,to taste the life fully,and love being big part of it,but the sign doesn't deny anything.

Does he say similar for Libra NN?


I don't know, I don't have the book. I photographed the chapter I needed on my iphone at the shop

Basically, the main point was (about Taurus) that one cannot develop an over-dependency on anyone, all that self-worth tattle. So as soon as one starts really losing oneself in someone else, horrible things happen. And I'm totally clueless as to how there can be too much dependency?

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VenusDiSirius
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posted August 18, 2012 07:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I see you are rocking your NN - "And I'm
totally clueless as to how there can be too much
dependency?"

-very taurean thing to say

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andstuff
Knowflake

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posted August 18, 2012 08:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by VenusDiSirius:
I see you are rocking your NN - "And I'm
totally clueless as to how there can be too much
dependency?"

-very taurean thing to say


well actually, on second thoughts, Libra NN is totally different. It's about moving away from egocentrism and individualism, me me me kind of thing Aries is

Scorpio is the dark side, the intensity. Nothing I'd wish to give up. I wish karmic lessons would just screw themselves and leave me alone

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VenusDiSirius
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posted August 18, 2012 08:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was having in mind their ruler,love principle - Venus when I asked about Libra NN.

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andstuff
Knowflake

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posted August 18, 2012 08:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by VenusDiSirius:
I was having in mind their ruler,love principle - Venus when I asked about Libra NN.

yeah, this is what i thought

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Aquacheeka
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posted August 18, 2012 10:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aquacheeka     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have north node in Taurus. I used to be a romantic idealist, and now I'm more of a realist. I think lasting love always involves the death of your dream of love. I think every couple that have been together for years and years weathered some sort of crisis within the relationship where one or both people wanted to walk away from it, whether it be abuse (not necessarily physical), neglect, infidelity, blatant inconsideration for one's partner, horrific displays of temper, public humiliation, a breakup or separation which precedes a reunion down the road, or some combination of the above. I think disillusionment is inevitable with love. I think real love is like the Phoenix; it rises from the ashes after the dream has been burned down. In its wake is something more honest and deliberate. It consists of compromise and the simple realization that your life is better with this person than without them. Then follows a quiet and lasting contentment after the dust has settled. Something beautiful comes from the ugliness, that is, if you survive it.

Coming to this realization has actually been liberating. It's a sort of tyranny, believing in the Disney lie we are sold, the dream that if you just keep dating around, eventually you will find the perfect person and embark on the perfect relationship and you'll never fight and you'll live happily ever after and she will be your Stepford wife and never complain and cook for you in lingerie and he will never be grumpy or boring or take you for granted. I stopped drinking the kool-aid, sat up, and looked around at the people I actually know and realized that real love is messier than that. And it lives in the subtle, non-thrilling moments.

I don't know if my south node in Scorpio/NN in Taurus has anything to do with it, but that is what I now believe and I don't expect any relationships present or future to take a different trajectory.

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Aquacheeka
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posted August 18, 2012 10:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aquacheeka     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think that love is essentially all about the love cross. It starts out with Leonine passion and fervour, then comes the Scorpionic volatility and regeneration. The bricks and mortars of it, if it is going to last, consist of the placidity and contentment with the mundane/stability of Taurus - building a practical life together. The relationship should have a firm foundation of mutual respect and companionate love - the feeling of being 'best friends,' which is Aquarian. Employing some Aquarian detachment can also be useful in those emotionally volatile moments that are inevitable.

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vertiver
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posted August 18, 2012 11:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for vertiver     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That sounds like a bunch of hooey. I don't really like Jan Spiller - she is too pessimistic and single things out too much.

I mean my bf has NN in Taurus and he has been in a few long term relationships and there was no dramatic heartbreak except for me. But we got back together. Supposedly he has a connection with me unlike anyone else. I have Pisces NN Sextile his NN in Taurus.

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andstuff
Knowflake

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posted August 19, 2012 03:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by vertiver:
That sounds like a bunch of hooey. I don't really like Jan Spiller - she is too pessimistic and single things out too much.

I mean my bf has NN in Taurus and he has been in a few long term relationships and there was no dramatic heartbreak except for me. But we got back together. Supposedly he has a connection with me unlike anyone else. I have Pisces NN Sextile his NN in Taurus.


Wow, good news and good for you!

Every time i just can't help thinking whatever negative stuff is said MIGHT be true.

Because I had a boy I was really into, holding him was like coming home and whatnot. Ended really bad. When I'm not into someone, all is fine. So many bloody opportunities to get laid none of which is enticing...

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Astra
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posted August 19, 2012 07:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Astra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have north node in Taurus and my love life is very crappy. I attract obsessive men which puts me in potentially dangerous situations, though I'm fiercely independent, so I don't know how Spiller's thoughts regarding dependency factor in.

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acousticbob
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posted August 19, 2012 10:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for acousticbob     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
I have north node in Taurus. I used to be a romantic idealist, and now I'm more of a realist. I think lasting love always involves the death of your dream of love. I think every couple that have been together for years and years weathered some sort of crisis within the relationship where one or both people wanted to walk away from it, whether it be abuse (not necessarily physical), neglect, infidelity, blatant inconsideration for one's partner, horrific displays of temper, public humiliation, a breakup or separation which precedes a reunion down the road, or some combination of the above. I think disillusionment is inevitable with love. I think real love is like the Phoenix; it rises from the ashes after the dream has been burned down. In its wake is something more honest and deliberate. It consists of compromise and the simple realization that your life is better with this person than without them. Then follows a quiet and lasting contentment after the dust has settled. Something beautiful comes from the ugliness, that is, if you survive it.

Coming to this realization has actually been liberating. It's a sort of tyranny, believing in the Disney lie we are sold, the dream that if you just keep dating around, eventually you will find the perfect person and embark on the perfect relationship and you'll never fight and you'll live happily ever after and she will be your Stepford wife and never complain and cook for you in lingerie and he will never be grumpy or boring or take you for granted. I stopped drinking the kool-aid, sat up, and looked around at the people I actually know and realized that real love is messier than that. And it lives in the subtle, non-thrilling moments.

I don't know if my south node in Scorpio/NN in Taurus has anything to do with it, but that is what I now believe and I don't expect any relationships present or future to take a different trajectory.


Woah! I love this post - the opening lines blew me away. My NN is Cancer but I live the Scorpio - Taurus axis through my Scorp sun+Venus opposite my taurus moon. I'm far too romantic and idealistic in love!

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anno_lucis
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posted August 19, 2012 12:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for anno_lucis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Astra:
I have north node in Taurus and my love life is very crappy. I attract obsessive men which puts me in potentially dangerous situations, though I'm fiercely independent, so I don't know how Spiller's thoughts regarding dependency factor in.

i relate to this. i also relate to what aquacheeka said. i got nn in taurus, in 8th house, doesn't the 8th have the potential to nullify things located therein? :S

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andstuff
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posted August 19, 2012 01:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by anno_lucis:
i relate to this. i also relate to what aquacheeka said. i got nn in taurus, in 8th house, doesn't the 8th have the potential to nullify things located therein? :S


I thought its called a locked in nodal axis, when NN is in the house of the SN sign and the other way round. It's supposed to be easier for this kind of people

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anno_lucis
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posted August 20, 2012 06:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for anno_lucis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
oh ok, thanks

i think there is definitely such a thing as over dependency. i became over invested in a person emotionally and financially and suffered. if they leave or it goes wrong that piece of yourself you poured into them you have a hard time clawing back. you lose a large chunk of yourself and you can say goodbye to the joint business, house, car, and dog, not to mention that whole future together you built in your head.
it basically tore my soul a new ******* but on the plus side im back down to my bare essential self now which is better
ive also experienced what it is to love and be loved (even in the context of the relationship i just spoke of) but i guess its all subjective so hearing others experience of it is interesting.

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andstuff
Knowflake

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posted August 20, 2012 07:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by anno_lucis:
oh ok, thanks

i think there is definitely such a thing as over dependency. i became over invested in a person emotionally and financially and suffered. if they leave or it goes wrong that piece of yourself you poured into them you have a hard time clawing back. you lose a large chunk of yourself and you can say goodbye to the joint business, house, car, and dog, not to mention that whole future together you built in your head.
it basically tore my soul a new ******* but on the plus side im back down to my bare essential self now which is better
ive also experienced what it is to love and be loved (even in the context of the relationship i just spoke of) but i guess its all subjective so hearing others experience of it is interesting.


well, the only problem with excessive dependency i can see is exactly that when you hold too much trust it might fall apart and so will you be left falling apart.

i have had exactly the same problem. me and someone grew too obsessed with each other AND it didn't end well.

the question i asked was whether it's true that it's like this every time. like, every time there's a compulsive, beautiful relationship that involves dependency, is it actually supposed to fall apart?

Jan Spiller claims that this is the essential lesson in life for Taurus NN, to live without getting over-dependent. to live without blending in with the other person. so as soon as it starts happening, some control mechanism will allegedly ensure that the relationship come to an end

And honestly for me love is compulsion, dependency, intensity. It cannot exist without these. Seriously. How can one be with a total stranger, whose body is alien and whose soul is opaque. There's no fulfilment in this, what's the point of being together? None, precisely.

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anno_lucis
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posted August 20, 2012 09:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for anno_lucis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by andstuff:
well, the only problem with excessive dependency i can see is exactly that when you hold too much trust it might fall apart and so will you be left falling apart.


exactly. except i've always trusted implicitly, and still believe a long term relationship won't work with out it.

quote:
Originally posted by andstuff:
the question i asked was whether it's true that it's like this every time. like, every time there's a compulsive, beautiful relationship that involves dependency, is it actually supposed to fall apart?

Jan Spiller claims that this is the essential lesson in life for Taurus NN, to live without getting over-dependent. to live without blending in with the other person. so as soon as it starts happening, some control mechanism will allegedly ensure that the relationship come to an end

And honestly for me love is compulsion, dependency, intensity. It cannot exist without these. Seriously. How can one be with a total stranger, whose body is alien and whose soul is opaque. There's no fulfilment in this, what's the point of being together? None, precisely.



i know how you feel, but i think love and beauty does exist outside of co-dependancy, obsession and intensity, those things just make it more dramatic and exciting, and often in a toxic, unhealthy way. it taught me that some sort of interdependant balance has to be struck, supporting one another rather than draining or smothering one another, or it won't work.

i tend to think of my previous relationships as obsessive and unhealthy and think proper 'adult' relationships involve less obsessive compulsiveness and more respecting each others space, needs and wants. and believe me, aries moon and venus does not like having to wait around, compromise or not get her own way, at all, ever. but it doesn't mean if you do this the other person is a stranger, or invisible, it means you have respect for one another's boundaries and individuality, for the bond to grow and strengthen over time. i'm a serial monogomist who has put way too much energy and effort into long term, one on one relationships (packed 7H)and sometimes i regret it. try putting some of that ocd type energy into some other area of life, and see what magic happens!

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Faith
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posted August 20, 2012 09:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Loved your comments there, Aquacheeka.

I'm SN Taurus/NN Scorpio.

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andstuff
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posted August 20, 2012 09:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by anno_lucis:
i know how you feel, but i think love and beauty does exist outside of co-dependancy, obsession and intensity, those things just make it more dramatic and exciting, and often in a toxic, unhealthy way. it taught me that some sort of interdependant balance has to be struck, supporting one another rather than draining or smothering one another, or it won't work.

i tend to think of my previous relationships as obsessive and unhealthy and think proper 'adult' relationships involve less obsessive compulsiveness and more respecting each others space, needs and wants. and believe me, aries moon and venus does not like having to wait around, compromise or not get her own way, at all, ever. but it doesn't mean if you do this the other person is a stranger, or invisible, it means you have respect for one another's boundaries and individuality, for the bond to grow and strengthen over time. i'm a serial monogomist who has put way too much energy and effort into long term, one on one relationships (packed 7H)and sometimes i regret it. try putting some of that ocd type energy into some other area of life, and see what magic happens![/B]


packed 7th, lol? i have merc, neptune and uranus there. plus mercury is my chart ruler.

seriously, where should one take this energy except to a lover? surely it would be wasted elsewhere.

this is precisely what i don't get. a stranger is someone who is just not you. all that mutual respect is bollocks to me. a stranger could cheat on you or leave one day and you will barely miss him. because he lacks that something that triggers of desire and affection and that feeling of closeness.

you cannot GET closer with someone the same way you just BECOME close with someone naturally, through some design of the universe. god's spark. it's there or it isn't. if it's there there's dependency. god doesn't care about couples whose bond is founded on mutual respect. you cannot start living with someone you can't feel hoping you'll feel them over time. truth is - a human cannot make something happen only god can give.

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Odette
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posted August 20, 2012 09:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
No. That's just crazy.
I mean everyone has problems... I don't know how many people in the world could say they only married once - and that was/is their one true love.
But Taurus NN does not have *more* problems than the average person.
The Taurean side of Venus is about self-love - not so much about relationships. Taurus is a personal sign.
In the progression from Scorpio SN to Taurus NN you have to learn to care *for* yourself.. rather than lose yourself in others. That's what it is about primarily.

Libra NN could have more problems with relationships - but these problems would likely be internal.. not caused by outside events (like the death or disappearance of a loved one).
What I mean by *internal* is ... we all have a pull towards SN.. so a person with Aries SN would have a strong pull towards staying single and being completely independent.. so they would not *want* a relationship deep down. Being in a relationship could feel strange and uncomfortable for them so they might avoid it.
Moving towards the NN point is something that requires the person to make a *choice* and a conscious decision to *go for *it* - even if it seems difficult and uncomfortable.
They are often given multiple chances in life.. as far as I've seen anyway.
So if anything a Libra NN person would have MANY chances to prove that they CAN make a relationship work.

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andstuff
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posted August 20, 2012 09:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
No. That's just crazy.
I mean everyone has problems... I don't know how many people in the world could say they only married once - and that was/is their one true love.
But Taurus NN does not have *more* problems than the average person.
The Taurean side of Venus is about self-love - not so much about relationships. Taurus is a personal sign.
In the progression from Scorpio SN to Taurus NN you have to learn to care *for* yourself.. rather than lose yourself in others. That's what it is about primarily.

Hi Odette, this might be very true of course. But I don't think I want to learn this kinda lessons. I HAVE lost myself in others. It was the best thing ever, except for it was taken away from me. If that's my karmic lesson - why should i be unhappy? why should i warp my whole being and deny myself the only true fulfilment that i've got? i don't want to do any warping. i want my lovers not taken away from me. And I want to have the kinda feelings that make me fulfilled.

There's no fulfilment in self-love. seriously. none. and it's monstrous that beautiful stuff should be taken away from me to make me learn something as rubbish and futile as self-worth. I didn't choose this life. I didn;t choose for my only happiness to be denied to me.

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Odette
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posted August 20, 2012 08:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Andstuff - I have the same Nodes. I also have Venus conjuct my NN and Pluto conjunct my SN so it is extra emphasized in my chart. I understand completely where you are coming from.. But the truth is the NN is always difficult for people. It is what they find most foreign, uncomfortable and sometimes useless-disgusting-pointless... The way you just talked about self worth is very very common for a person with Scorpio SN. I have felt this way myself in the past.. But you have to find something beautiful and worthy in Taurean energy. Being venusian does not have to be synonimous with being shallow. I'll tell u more but I'm on my phone at the moment and I hate typing here. I'll be back!

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Virgo-AriesArtist
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posted August 20, 2012 10:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Virgo-AriesArtist     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by andstuff:
And honestly for me love is compulsion, dependency, intensity. It cannot exist without these. Seriously. How can one be with a total stranger, whose body is alien and whose soul is opaque. There's no fulfilment in this, what's the point of being together? None, precisely.

I totally feel you there, andstuff...my NN is in Taurus in the 1st and boy, do I feel challenged to value myself, it's so much easier to immerse myself in fixing, and supporting others, staying in the background. I struggle with the intensity of my feelings and obsessions, though on some level, I've incorporated them into my being and made peace with feeling deeply and I know my comfort level is with those past Scorpionic feelings, perhaps chalked off to my Pluto in the 7th within 8 degrees of SN, and Saturn in Scorpio (though in 8th house).

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andstuff
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posted August 21, 2012 02:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ladies, thanks for sharing, but well the problem is still elsewhere. Just as I said if something is taken away from me one more time I will probably take my life, and the question was if this will actually happen.

Once again - there was a complete tragedy in my life, I lost the only person I'd met who could satisfy my emotional needs. I wake up every day with nothing to look forward to. I have no feelings for anyone. Random strangers come for me and try my luck at winning my love and I feel disgusted if anything. If one ever turns up "who will collect my soul" and if I lose him to circumstances and whatnot in order for me to learn some useless horrible lesson? - wouldn't that be unfair?

If I have learnt anything through losing one its that one should lie on the rails but keep things working. Exactly the opposite of what I allegedly was supposed to learn

Ah yeah NN in the 12th too. Also moon conj NN and Saturn conj SN

Ah yeah I don't believe Venus is shallow. But I am the essence of a lover as is, if anyone has ever been And I'm not dismissive of Taurus. I like beautiful furniture and all that, it makes me feel good. BUT Scorpio is the only way to love, it is more beautiful than Taurus. if one reads about Taurean kind of love - its rubbish! This healthy earthly stuff! It's base! It's for base people! No spirituality in that, no beauty, no God

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