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Author Topic:   What do you think of this article: venus in virgo?
Dreaming111
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posted September 02, 2012 07:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dreaming111     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
http://www.makara.us/04mdr/01writing/03tg/planets/venus/venus_virgo.htm


It seems to spell out the last guy I was crazy about....even the small details.

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JLyn ~
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posted September 02, 2012 07:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JLyn ~     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Uh huh
Last guy I was into has a virgo venus and let me tell ya, he always had to look nice and smelling good was a thing for him too. he valued real. he valued constant.

I miss that crazy man!

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Gray
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posted September 03, 2012 03:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gray     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I love the way most of the interpretations are overwhelmingly negative - from "Venus in Virgo is materialistic", right down to implying something is fundamentally lacking or wrong with Venus in Virgo on a soul-level.

In short - I think the article was compiled by someone who had an axe to grind against this particular placement.But as always, if you go sifting through enough astrological work, you can find an interpretation to back up or support whatever you want to believe about a person or a placement, because astrology is so subjective in a lot of ways.

I've never understood in a logical sense, why Venus is considered negative or in fall in Virgo - after all, Virgo is associated with service and giving to others. How is having your love-nature geared towards trying to serve and take care of others, an inherently bad thing? If anything it seems positive to me.

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Dreaming111
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posted September 03, 2012 04:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dreaming111     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Gray:
I love the way most of the interpretations are overwhelmingly negative - from "Venus in Virgo is materialistic", right down to implying something is fundamentally lacking or wrong with Venus in Virgo on a soul-level.

In short - I think the article was compiled by someone who had an axe to grind against this particular placement.But as always, if you go sifting through enough astrological work, you can find an interpretation to back up or support whatever you want to believe about a person or a placement, because astrology is so subjective in a lot of ways.

I've never understood in a logical sense, why Venus is considered negative or in fall in Virgo - after all, Virgo is associated with service and giving to others. How is having your love-nature geared towards trying to serve and take care of others, an inherently bad thing? If anything it seems positive to me.


I think you're looking with myopic vision at the list. There were quite a bit of good things in there as well.

What struck me was love for little animals. lol That was true for the case of the guy I was referring to.

Here I'll just list what I found to be accurate for the guy I knew:

- 11. Venus in Virgo—Beauty Related to Cleanliness:
Under the influence of this combination, clean may not be beautiful, but there is little willingness to see people, places and things as beautiful unless they are also clean. Personal hygiene is not just a matter of health—it is used in the service of attractiveness

- 12. Venus in Virgo—Nutrition for Beauty:
This idea is easy to see. Virgo is more associated with nutrition than any other sign (for Virgo rules the small intestine where the products of digestion are assimilated for absorption by the body as a whole. Venus relates to the ideal form, which is the beautiful form. Some nutritionists are merely concerned with health. Those with this combination are concerned with health and beauty. “If you eat these foods, in these combination, at these times—you will preserve not only the health of you body but its optimum appearance.”

The guy I knew would starve but would not eat out, not even at someone's house, unless it was really nutritious. Even at work he'd skip group lunches on account that it wasn't healthy. He loved pasta and fresh fruits and veggies. Every night he would he 1 tomato, 1 peach, 1 orange.

19. Venus in Virgo—Shaping up for Good Appearance:
Virgo, as all know, is one of those signs which applies itself to physical fitness. But is fitness for health alone? Is it not also for the sake of appearance? When Venus functions in combination with Virgo, fitness (whatever else it does) is meant to produce an attractive (Venus) body (Virgo). This may also be the case with Venus in Capricorn.


He'd have to play basketball when he could. He claimed vehemently that he would never be the guy that would have a beer belly in his 40s. This was after I told him that it would look bad if his wife wasn't able to plump him up and have at least a post marriage belly.

-13. Venus in Virgo—the Personal services:
Those who work intimately with people, especially with their bodies (cutting their hair, polishing their nails, applying cosmetics, giving massage, etc.) must have tact and personal appeal (Venus) and a practical understanding of the body (Virgo).

He liked the idea of massagin others and being helpful.

14. Clothing industry—Design and Tailoring:
Virgo (so closely associated with the third aspect of divinity) is one of the signs associated with clothing—made of many “threads” (and thus related to the weaving third aspect). With Venus in this sign, it is not enough that one simply be covered (and thus warm—this is more the province of Cancer), but that there be some beauty in the clothing (not the ostentation of Venus in Leo, but beauty nonetheless).

This was true for shoes. He'd need brand names and one's that had a specific look.

15. Venus in Virgo—“Arts and Crafts”:
Virgo (ruled by Mercury, Moon, Vulcan) applies intelligence to the fashioning of the physical form. When Venus is co-joined, the factor of beauty also enters; what is produced must be beautiful and appealing. Under the influence of this combination there is frequently found the making of beautiful objects.

He's a very creative person. He'd write songs, poetry, play the piano, compose pieces, act, was a great video editor etc

16. Venus in Virgo—Affection for the Lower Kingdoms:
Virgo (and the sixth house of the horoscope) are associated with small animals and with animals as the “servants” of humanity. Venus, upon the Mutable Cross, represents attraction and affection. Together they produce ‘love’ and affection for the lower kingdoms—especially animals and plants. The ‘love’ of minerals is also possible, and this is found, equally, with Venus in Capricorn.

He loved baby animals. He was this aloof guy but a complete cuddle bunny with baby animals. :P

22. The Prostitution of the Form:
‘Love’ (Venus) is compromised by materialism (Virgo). ‘Love’ may be used, exploited or prostituted to gain material objectives. This may be done is a calculating way. Something similar is possible with Venus in Capricorn (upon the early Mutable Cross

He gave the vibe that he would use someone to get ahead. I got that vibe at certain points. However there were times he would tell me things quite opposite to that. He did have fantasies about this stuff.

2. Venus in Virgo—Analysis May Overcome Love:
Virgo will draw out the mental potential of Venus, but may subdue those related to the energy of love. Virgoan meticulousness may place many conditions and provisions upon the expression of love—certainly retraining this expression and reducing its spontaneity.

He held back a lot later would admit things. But generall the ship had sailed. It was never at the correct moment but delayed responses.

4. Venus in Virgo—Patience in the Creation of Beauty:
Some artists rush to creation. Perhaps Venus in the fire signs (especially in Aries and Sagittarius) would give this tendency. When Venus is placed in Virgo however, the artist will patiently brood over the means whereby beauty may best emerge. The labor would be long, and the demands upon patience, great. The operative principle—“Anything worth having is worth waiting for.”

He was like this with his creative career. He had tons of pressure to deliver on his promise but was crafting his skills, and taking one step at a time.

5. Venus in Virgo—Beauty Inseparable from Purity:
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”; what is considered beautiful is very much a matter of taste. For the subject with Venus in Virgo, some form of purity must be associated with beauty. This purity may not be of the kind dictated by conventional morality, but it will be there nonetheless—a beauty free of taints and contaminants.

11. Venus in Virgo—Chastity and Purity:
From a more orthodox perspective, Venus (the planet of love) and Virgo (the sign of purity) when functioning together may instill a desire for affections which are chaste and pure. High standards of purity may be applied within the field of human love. Perhaps, human love, as a whole, will be considered insufficiently pure to be worthy of pursuit. Perhaps, only soul love will be considered a worthy goal. This position, functioning positively, may produce the priest or the nun. One is also reminded of Artemis/Diana the chaste Goddess who drove men mad if they pursued her with impure intent.

14. Venus in Virgo—Selective, Discriminative Attraction:
Venus represents what one love, what appeals, what one wishes to assimilate. Virgo applies the condition of discrimination and selectivity (qualities related to the third aspect of divinity over which Virgo rules). At first Venus in Virgo is not a combination under the influence of which one loves all. (That kind of inclusive love pertains more to Venus in Pisces). Venus in Virgo attracts (and loves) what is most suitable, most needed, most appropriate for the system. Venus is the influence which builds quality into the system. Under Venus in Virgo not all building materials are considered acceptable.

He's waiting til marriage and says he's only looking for a potential partner if she is a virgin or if maybe her first time was a mistake. He's attracted though to anyone. Don't get it wrong. :P But he wants his partner to be pure. He won't even kiss...!


etc....

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Ami Anne
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posted September 03, 2012 07:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The domicile and detriment and the exaltation and fall positions are positions where the energy does not flow as easily. Most people have planets in each.

With Virgo, it pays great attention to little details which is wonderful for Mercury. Mercury in Virgo is in it's home.

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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libraschoice77
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posted September 03, 2012 11:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for libraschoice77     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Some of the description rings true for me, being nicely groomed and hygenic are important to me. Also need that in my partner as well. Used to be where if I went on a date with someone, no matter how attractive he was, if he smelled or didnt think he was clean enough I wouldnt date him again. Also I do have a love of animals big and small, I have on and off donated my time to help them out the best I could. If I was rich you can bet I would have a zoo

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pancakes22
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posted September 03, 2012 08:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pancakes22     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I didn't read the whole thing, but for the most part venus in virgo descriptions are true. I hate it, because I think I lost a really good girl partly because of it. The good part about venus in virgo, once our partner fits that little niche of what perfection should be, I am hooked. I will think my partner, and all her little details. The way she looks when she eats, etc. Is perfect and no one else xan top her, but than there are times where I see something really negative and forget the positives.

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SmilingHeart
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posted September 03, 2012 11:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SmilingHeart     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
First of all yes, Venus in Virgo has a lot of difficult aspects. But I feel like it's not as bad as it made out to be.

but now...
sorry but I just have to put these here
cause I love men with Venus in Virgo so effing much - they always look impeccable.




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Dreaming111
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posted September 04, 2012 12:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dreaming111     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^^ The guy I was referring to looked a lot like the first guy. It's weird. What are their names?

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RegardesPlatero
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posted September 04, 2012 06:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Gray:
I love the way most of the interpretations are overwhelmingly negative - from "Venus in Virgo is materialistic", right down to implying something is fundamentally lacking or wrong with Venus in Virgo on a soul-level.

In short - I think the article was compiled by someone who had an axe to grind against this particular placement.But as always, if you go sifting through enough astrological work, you can find an interpretation to back up or support whatever you want to believe about a person or a placement, because astrology is so subjective in a lot of ways.

I've never understood in a logical sense, why Venus is considered negative or in fall in Virgo - after all, Virgo is associated with service and giving to others. How is having your love-nature geared towards trying to serve and take care of others, an inherently bad thing? If anything it seems positive to me.


The following is just based on my own experiences with Venus in Virgo.

The positive that you mention is one side of it.

The other side of it:

--Venus in Virgos are about service, but sometimes Venus in Virgo gives to a fault. Service, when taken too far and to an unhealthy extreme, can lead to a person giving too much because they feel like that's "the right thing to do". They put themselves at a disadvantage, and then resent the receiver of their service. Even if someone tries to reimburse the Venus in Virgo/tries to balance things out by giving service in return, they will have none of it. Their dilemma is that they feel compelled to serve, but they don't know when to quit. They can become martyr-ish. Their task is to learn to balance compassion and service with self-love and self-care.

--Venus in Virgos can be very, very critical and nitpicky. While this talent has its place (like in editing/proofreading, for example), it's harder to bear when it comes to people. It can be off-putting and make it all too easy to gossip. I would say that part of Venus in Virgo being in fall is the criticism towards people and relationships, as well as being extremely difficult to please and very particular. Those things make it a challenging position: not a bad one, but simply one that is difficult.

--It's hard to have conflict with them. By that, I don't mean that it's difficult to disagree with them, but rather than it's difficult to resolve conflicts. They don't like to talk about feelings when you have a conflict with them. Virgos in general seem uncomfortable with emotions--I've met exactly one who is an exception. The refusal to talk about emotions feels like being pushed away. They are more sensitive than you would think, and things affect them more deeply than they usually care to admit. I'm a water Venus myself, and even though I am also sensitive, I'm much more comfortable talking about feelings and emotions than Venus in Virgos seem to be, so this is an area of difference.

Bottom line: every placement has its pros and cons, and they aren't bad people for being this way. Hard to deal with, perhaps, but no placement alone makes you good or bad: it's how you live it out and what you do with it that is good or bad, not the placement itself.

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Lonake
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posted September 04, 2012 06:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It seems Gray that you didn't read the whole page.

For instance,

quote:
5. Venus in Virgo—Can its “Fall” be a kind of Exaltation?
Every “fall”, considered from an earthly point of view, is really an exaltation when considered from a spiritual point of view. For example, the Moon (when found in Scorpio {fallen} and Capricorn {detrimented}) is considered negatively ‘placed’ from the point of view of the full expression of the form, but from the spiritual point of view, these placements offer significant opportunity to subdue detrimental effect of matter/form upon soul expression. The Sun in Libra and Aquarius (although these are, respectively, positions of “fall” and “detriment”) is, from a spiritual point of view which is not subject to the great illusion, an indication which shows that personality consciousness or egotism can been subdued, and group consciousness rise. The “fall” of Venus in Virgo is, at first, negative for the expression of love-wisdom, because matter and the third aspect (over which Virgo rules) are so oppressive to the expression of the second aspect. But, Venus can be considered, as it were, ‘exalted’ in its “fall”, through its growing, triumphant capacity to express love-wisdom (Venus) perfectly (Virgo) through matter (Virgo).

The write-up 'Specific Expressions of Venus in Virgo' has 3 sections:
Venus in Virgo for the Average or Undeveloped Man
Venus in Virgo for the Advanced Man
Venus in Virgo for the Disciple/Initiate (where the quote is pulled from)

It's an interesting take on things Thanks for the link, Dreaming111.

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SmilingHeart
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posted September 04, 2012 11:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SmilingHeart     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Dreaming111:
^^ The guy I was referring to looked a lot like the first guy. It's weird. What are their names?

Really? Wow.
The first guy is Tyler Hoechlin. Remember the kid from Road to Perdition? That's him now. My friend forced me to watch MTV's new show Teen Wolf and there he was. I immediately thought he must have his Venus in Virgo and he does.

The second one is Christian Cooke.
The third one is Alain Delon in his prime.

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SmilingHeart
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posted September 04, 2012 11:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SmilingHeart     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
To be honest...the spiritual aspect of the article went right over my logical Virgo head. spirituality is so hard to grasp for me...:-(

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quinnlycanastro
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posted September 04, 2012 01:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for quinnlycanastro     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I didn't like the tone [separating people in to "advanced" and "average" is condescending] and half of what was written is just hot air....

sorry, but there's way too much personal opinion, too much jargon and not enough real information that can be applied to daily life.

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enchantress299
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posted September 05, 2012 12:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for enchantress299     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Regardes-

quote:
--It's hard to have conflict with them. By that, I don't mean that it's difficult to disagree with them, but rather than it's difficult to resolve conflicts. They don't like to talk about feelings when you have a conflict with them. Virgos in general seem uncomfortable with emotions--I've met exactly one who is an exception. The refusal to talk about emotions feels like being pushed away. They are more sensitive than you would think, and things affect them more deeply than they usually care to admit. I'm a water Venus myself, and even though I am also sensitive, I'm much more comfortable talking about feelings and emotions than Venus in Virgos seem to be, so this is an area of difference.

I agree with you on this. Having Venus in Virgo myself (and retrograde at that) makes emotional communication of my OWN needs very difficult. Ironically, I can talk all day long about everyone else's emotional needs. No problem dealing with that. To water signed people especially, they don't know exactly how to deal with this, because they WANT the emotional communication, but to many Virgo types, this emotional communication seems intrusive until the Virgo can get a handle on what their feelings actually ARE. You see, sometimes we are very confused. We feel that we must be able to perfectly articulate our feelings, but that doesn't usually translate well in the moment. Also, I know that I personally care more for a heartfelt deed (a hug, a genuine thank you, holding my hand, etc) instead of overly dramatized emotional words. Sometimes this isn't something I feel comfortable verbalizing to others though. Sometimes the answer is simple, and if I feel like someone can't or won't see it, I don't even bother telling them. I try to give out what I want back instead. Still doesn't always translate well when words need to be said though, and I do acknowledge that.

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RegardesPlatero
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posted September 05, 2012 08:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by enchantress299:
Regardes-

I agree with you on this. Having Venus in Virgo myself (and retrograde at that) makes emotional communication of my OWN needs very difficult. Ironically, I can talk all day long about everyone else's emotional needs. No problem dealing with that. To water signed people especially, they don't know exactly how to deal with this, because they WANT the emotional communication, but to many Virgo types, this emotional communication seems intrusive until the Virgo can get a handle on what their feelings actually ARE. You see, sometimes we are very confused. We feel that we must be able to perfectly articulate our feelings, but that doesn't usually translate well in the moment. Also, I know that I personally care more for a heartfelt deed (a hug, a genuine thank you, holding my hand, etc) instead of overly dramatized emotional words. Sometimes this isn't something I feel comfortable verbalizing to others though. Sometimes the answer is simple, and if I feel like someone can't or won't see it, I don't even bother telling them. I try to give out what I want back instead. Still doesn't always translate well when words need to be said though, and I do acknowledge that.


Me, I'm really not big on physical affection. I generally dislike being touched. So, comforting a Venus in Virgo (or anyone, really) with a hug or something would not occur to me.

Emotional affection/communication, though, is very important to me. To be honest, I tend to feel disappointed in friendships with Virgo-influenced people because I can't emote with them, and because they are overwhelmed by emotional stuff/expressiveness. I tend to feel resentful that I'm forced to just shut up and keep everything to myself and not express myself, and that I'm forced to bury a natural part of myself (being expressive) just because they don't like it. I feel that this demand that I be numb and unfeeling is highly unfair. It's not that I don't like them as people, I just feel like they negatively judge parts of myself that I feel should not be judged in that way. It feels very personally critical of me as a person when they don't like conversations or emotions, because I feel like they are simply rejecting me, since those are big parts of who I am. It sends the message to me that I personally am annoying and creep them out.

It sounds like it's not their intention, from what you wrote, though (and I do appreciate you explaining your side to me). How, then, can I reach a point of compromise with Virgo-influenced people? It isn't fair of them to just demand that I be non-expressive and that I not emote--that, I cannot do and still feel like I am friends with a person; doing that just makes me feel like there is a lot of distance and like we're acquaintances, not friends. On the other hand, I would like to try to meet them halfway, as I want them to meet me halfway too. What is the best way to find balance with them and have both people feel content and satisfied with how things are?

I'm a Libra w/Venus in Scorpio, if that helps.

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SmilingHeart
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posted September 05, 2012 09:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SmilingHeart     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
Me, I'm really not big on physical affection. I generally dislike being touched. So, comforting a Venus in Virgo (or anyone, really) with a hug or something would not occur to me.

Emotional affection/communication, though, is very important to me. To be honest, I tend to feel disappointed in friendships with Virgo-influenced people because I can't emote with them, and because they are overwhelmed by emotional stuff/expressiveness. I tend to feel resentful that I'm forced to just shut up and keep everything to myself and not express myself, and that I'm forced to bury a natural part of myself (being expressive) just because they don't like it. I feel that this demand that I be numb and unfeeling is highly unfair. It's not that I don't like them as people, I just feel like they negatively judge parts of myself that I feel should not be judged in that way. It feels very personally critical of me as a person when they don't like conversations or emotions, because I feel like they are simply rejecting me, since those are big parts of who I am. It sends the message to me that I personally am annoying and creep them out.

It sounds like it's not their intention, from what you wrote, though (and I do appreciate you explaining your side to me). How, then, can I reach a point of compromise with Virgo-influenced people? It isn't fair of them to just demand that I be non-expressive and that I not emote--that, I cannot do and still feel like I am friends with a person; doing that just makes me feel like there is a lot of distance and like we're acquaintances, not friends. On the other hand, I would like to try to meet them halfway, as I want them to meet me halfway too. What is the best way to find balance with them and have both people feel content and satisfied with how things are?

I'm a Libra w/Venus in Scorpio, if that helps.


I feel you. But being a heavy Virgo person (Rising, Sun, Mercury and Venus) I know what it is like to be that emotionally "crippled". I don't judge anyone by how expressive they are with their own emotions. It just makes me feel uncomfortable at a certain point and there's really nothing I can do about that. Don't think that just because a Virgo influenced person doesn't respond well to your 'outbursts' they dislike that part of you... I am more afraid of showing my own emotions and you being so expressive makes me feel like I have to open up, too.
I don't have a problem taking care of people - crying and screaming doesn't really scare me away - it is more the "I#ll tell you everything, you tell me everything" scenario I try to avoid.
I like distance. I don't want people to know my inner workings- hell, not even my mother, bf or closest friends know that much about me really.
I think you have to accept that part about those people and look for a deeper connection with others. Maybe some will get more comfortable with you over time, maybe never.
But if your personality doesn't go well with them there might not be anything anyone can do about it.

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enchantress299
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posted September 06, 2012 11:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for enchantress299     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
It sounds like it's not their intention, from what you wrote, though (and I do appreciate you explaining your side to me). How, then, can I reach a point of compromise with Virgo-influenced people? It isn't fair of them to just demand that I be non-expressive and that I not emote--that, I cannot do and still feel like I am friends with a person; doing that just makes me feel like there is a lot of distance and like we're acquaintances, not friends. On the other hand, I would like to try to meet them halfway, as I want them to meet me halfway too. What is the best way to find balance with them and have both people feel content and satisfied with how things are?

Well... I think the answer is not easy, as it will always be different with different people. From my personal point of view however, I would think that perhaps you need to flip it and view it as you do your own difficulties with physical expression...

Words can touch too. Heavy emotional words can touch a person where they are the most vulnerable and where they hurt the most. Just like you don't like being physically touched because it is an invasion of your space and it makes you uncomfortable, a lot of Virgos don't like being forced into emotional conversations because you are invading their 'emotional space,' so to speak. Now... With people that you feel safe with, are you more likely to let them come in a little closer into your physical space? Well Virgos, when they feel more safe with you emotionally will often let you come into their emotional space a little bit more.

So I think the question might be, what is the best way that YOU can make someone else feel comfortable to open up that emotional space a little bit more? They are myriad ways, depending on the person of course. Virgos actually are willing to communicate on this level if they feel safe about it. We inherently understand that our concrete communication is pretty darn good (particularly if we also have Virgo Merc), but we don't deal well with emotional communication/chaos. It seems overwhelming to us. So if you jump in with emotional chaos, we pull back. If you let someone dip their toe in without pushing them in, you'll get a much better response. Does that make sense? Give it bits at a time and allow them to respond and if they aren't giving you what you need ASK for a response that is feeling based.

I understand that you are upset and frustrated with the fact that you don't feel like you can 100% disclose your own emotional states with them, but I very honestly think that it has very little to do with YOU and everything to do with THEM. Have they told you that they "find you annoying and that you creep them out?" If so, then fine, but maybe that's a bit of an assumption on your part as well. I think that's unfortunate, because you seem well spoken and thoughtful. Perhaps you are taking something personally that is actually more the other person's problem or insecurity about themselves?

Regardless, in my opinion, taking the first step to reach out to others in understanding is the best way to make others feel safe and to help them open up. Realize that not everyone is going to be communicating on the same wavelength as you are and that most people are just doing the best they can with what they've got. Also... Not everyone is going to want to communicate with you, and most of the time that has way more to do with them than it does with you. Just move on at that point. That's the best advice I've got on the situation.

As a footnote, I wanted to add, that I thank you for reminding me of how difficult it can be for others to deal with my innate emotional non-verbalization, if you can call it that. I've been dealing with a situation lately that I've literally had to force myself through because it has been so uncomfortable for me. However, I realize that it is important to the people around me for me to do so.

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RegardesPlatero
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posted September 07, 2012 08:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by enchantress299:
Well... I think the answer is not easy, as it will always be different with different people. From my personal point of view however, I would think that perhaps you need to flip it and view it as you do your own difficulties with physical expression...

Words can touch too. Heavy emotional words can touch a person where they are the most vulnerable and where they hurt the most. Just like you don't like being physically touched because it is an invasion of your space and it makes you uncomfortable, a lot of Virgos don't like being forced into emotional conversations because you are invading their 'emotional space,' so to speak. Now... With people that you feel safe with, are you more likely to let them come in a little closer into your physical space? Well Virgos, when they feel more safe with you emotionally will often let you come into their emotional space a little bit more.

So I think the question might be, what is the best way that YOU can make someone else feel comfortable to open up that emotional space a little bit more? They are myriad ways, depending on the person of course. Virgos actually are willing to communicate on this level if they feel safe about it. We inherently understand that our concrete communication is pretty darn good (particularly if we also have Virgo Merc), but we don't deal well with emotional communication/chaos. It seems overwhelming to us. So if you jump in with emotional chaos, we pull back. If you let someone dip their toe in without pushing them in, you'll get a much better response. Does that make sense? Give it bits at a time and allow them to respond and if they aren't giving you what you need ASK for a response that is feeling based.

I understand that you are upset and frustrated with the fact that you don't feel like you can 100% disclose your own emotional states with them, but I very honestly think that it has very little to do with YOU and everything to do with THEM. Have they told you that they "find you annoying and that you creep them out?" If so, then fine, but maybe that's a bit of an assumption on your part as well. I think that's unfortunate, because you seem well spoken and thoughtful. Perhaps you are taking something personally that is actually more the other person's problem or insecurity about themselves?

Regardless, in my opinion, taking the first step to reach out to others in understanding is the best way to make others feel safe and to help them open up. Realize that not everyone is going to be communicating on the same wavelength as you are and that most people are just doing the best they can with what they've got. Also... Not everyone is going to want to communicate with you, and most of the time that has way more to do with them than it does with you. Just move on at that point. That's the best advice I've got on the situation.

As a footnote, I wanted to add, that I thank you for reminding me of how difficult it can be for others to deal with my innate emotional non-verbalization, if you can call it that. I've been dealing with a situation lately that I've literally had to force myself through because it has been so uncomfortable for me. However, I realize that it is important to the people around me for me to do so.


I have this problem not just with Virgo suns, but also Mercury, and Venus Virgos (don't know many Mars or Moon Virgos).

To answer your question, I'm not really likely to let people come into my physical space. Unless I'm in the mood for a hug (and only from someone who is trusted), which is extremely rare, I feel awkward at best and like I've been set on fire and want to start screaming at worst. I never, ever, ever initiate a hug unless I am in a rare mood that I need one--and often, I don't initiate even then. I barely am OK with handshakes. I just don't like to be touched 99.99% of the time. I didn't grow up in a huggy-kissy touchy-feely family, so I don't understand why people are like that and it makes no sense to me. Not that my family never hugs, just that it's not really a big thing with us. It's also uncomfortable and awkward for me being hugged or being asked for one, unless I also want to be hugged, which, again, is not often. The concept of touch being pleasant or comforting doesn't really register with me. I understand intellectually that some people find it comforting or nice, but I don't understand why. To me, interpersonal touch is freaky, hippy-dippy-trippy/kumbaya-ish, some sort of cult-like or flower-child ritual, and abnormal--though I know that it's not that way to others.

I think that you're right and I do take it personally when people don't communicate/don't emote/consider me conversations or emotions "overwhelming". I personally consider coldness, silence, and distance overwhelming, unless I don't like a person/feel threatened or unsafe with a person and actually want those things. My inner world is very important to me, and when I feel like this is seen by others as ugly, unpleasant, or otherwise negatively, it does sting. When people consider me overwhelming, it feels to me like I'm part of a garden (i.e., humanity), but I'm not considered roses or tulips or orchids: I'm just considered weeds or some kind of disgusting, repugnant, or even poisonous plant to be pulled and discarded or else avoided. So, again, you're correct: it does feel very much like a very biting criticism of who I am as a person.

To be fair, though, maybe this is a good thing, as it will help me be more contained, quiet, let less of myself out, make fewer mistakes, keep more inaccessible and to myself. Maybe this restraint will ultimately be helpful and useful to me in future situations.

I appreciate your insight about Virgo-influenced people. I would to think about it and reflect a little more. Thank you for taking the time to help me out on this one

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SmilingHeart
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posted September 07, 2012 09:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SmilingHeart     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:

To answer your question, I'm not really likely to let people come into my physical space. Unless I'm in the mood for a hug (and only from someone who is trusted), which is extremely rare, I feel awkward at best and like I've been set on fire and want to start screaming at worst. I never, ever, ever initiate a hug unless I am in a rare mood that I need one--and often, I don't initiate even then. I barely am OK with handshakes. I just don't like to be touched 99.99% of the time. I didn't grow up in a huggy-kissy touchy-feely family, so I don't understand why people are like that and it makes no sense to me. Not that my family never hugs, just that it's not really a big thing with us. It's also uncomfortable and awkward for me being hugged or being asked for one, unless I also want to be hugged, which, again, is not often. The concept of touch being pleasant or comforting doesn't really register with me. I understand intellectually that some people find it comforting or nice, but I don't understand why. To me, interpersonal touch is freaky, hippy-dippy-trippy/kumbaya-ish, some sort of cult-like or flower-child ritual, and abnormal--though I know that it's not that way to others.


I feel like you and Virgo-influenced people just don't go well together.
I love hugs, touching other people, just physical contact in general. It's the earth. We are sensual people and we prefer to communicate through actions rather than words. Even though Mercury in Virgo is quite an eloquent and insightful placement it is not our way to communicate emotions and closeness.
Now lets say you avoid physical contact with a Virgo-influenced person (which is a clear sign to us that you are not willing to open yourself up/ be close friends - even if that is not true) and then start spilling all your emotional baggage, we will be incredibly confused. It's the wrong order of closeness for a Virgo and that person will most likely shut down and -in an extreme case- avoid you.
You either have to communicate to them how things work for you or try to slow it down.
To be honest, the physical aspect is the most important thing to me. Those closest to me have always been physical people. We cuddle, kiss, hug for several minutes, sit on each others lap, walk arm in arm or hold hands.
If you are physically distant there is no way that I will open up to you. And I guess that's the problem most of the Virgos and those with Virg Placements have.

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SmilingHeart
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posted September 07, 2012 09:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SmilingHeart     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by enchantress299:
Regardes-

I agree with you on this. Having Venus in Virgo myself (and retrograde at that) makes emotional communication of my OWN needs very difficult. Ironically, I can talk all day long about everyone else's emotional needs. No problem dealing with that. To water signed people especially, they don't know exactly how to deal with this, because they WANT the emotional communication, but to many Virgo types, this emotional communication seems intrusive until the Virgo can get a handle on what their feelings actually ARE. You see, sometimes we are very confused. We feel that we must be able to perfectly articulate our feelings, but that doesn't usually translate well in the moment. Also, I know that I personally care more for a heartfelt deed (a hug, a genuine thank you, holding my hand, etc) instead of overly dramatized emotional words. Sometimes this isn't something I feel comfortable verbalizing to others though. Sometimes the answer is simple, and if I feel like someone can't or won't see it, I don't even bother telling them. I try to give out what I want back instead. Still doesn't always translate well when words need to be said though, and I do acknowledge that.


May I ask you how Venus in Virgo retrograde plays out? does it intensify the critical and physical aspect or slow it down? I've always wondered what this placement is like. (Also Venus in Virgo but not retrograde)

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enchantress299
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posted September 10, 2012 07:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for enchantress299     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
May I ask you how Venus in Virgo retrograde plays out? does it intensify the critical and physical aspect or slow it down? I've always wondered what this placement is like. (Also Venus in Virgo but not retrograde)

I think that the retrograde intensifies the physical aspect, to be honest. Verbal communication on that level isn't my forte, but non-verbal communication is. People get very very confused by this usually, which is perfectly understandable. It doesn't help that my Chiron is in Gemini (communication) in the 7th squaring my Venus retro. The irony is that this tendency of mine often makes me more attractive to guys who like the more inscrutable, challenging types. It intimidates the hell out of everyone else. This is unfortunate, but it is a tendency I'm learning how to mitigate, especially since my progressed Venus went direct several years ago. It's been a slow process.

You know, I've realized that I haven't actually known a lot of other Virgo Venuses, so it can be hard for me to compare mine to those who have it direct. I know only one other person who has Virgo Venus, and he is a Scorpio (and one of my closest friends). I do seem to have a lot of Virgo/Libra/Scorpio friends with the Libra Venus though, which seems odd to me... Doesn't seem like they'd mix well with my Venus.

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Ami Anne
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posted September 10, 2012 07:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I thought you might like this article I wrote


Venus in Virgo in a Man’s Chart
By amiann | Published: February 11, 2012 |

Ever heard of the phrase” he wants the perfect woman”? That was made for the Venus in Virgo man. Handle yourself as the quintessential lady. Drop coarse behavior. That includes your manner of dress. Save the black silk for more private moments. He has delicate sensibilities. He won’t tell you . He may feel embarrassed at how much little things matter to him. He may not feel it is in keeping with his macho image.. Venus in Virgo may wish he were not as attentive to detail as he is. He can’t help it. That is his nature. We know that about Astrology, by now. Some things are “as is”. This Venus may have the nose of a bloodhound but he will, also, serve you as no other Venus sign.If you are sick, go to bed and let Nurse Virgo attend to you. He loves to serve, even if he does not call it by name. He will be the one to give a hand up to your weary heart, soul or body. You can trust him with your deeper self, as he can be counted on to be by your side when a more superficial Venus will have moved on at the first sign of the dreaded C word: commitment, you all.

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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SmilingHeart
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posted September 10, 2012 08:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SmilingHeart     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by enchantress299:
I think that the retrograde intensifies the physical aspect, to be honest. Verbal communication on that level isn't my forte, but non-verbal communication is. People get very very confused by this usually, which is perfectly understandable. It doesn't help that my Chiron is in Gemini (communication) in the 7th squaring my Venus retro. The irony is that this tendency of mine often makes me more attractive to guys who like the more inscrutable, challenging types. It intimidates the hell out of everyone else. This is unfortunate, but it is a tendency I'm learning how to mitigate, especially since my progressed Venus went direct several years ago. It's been a slow process.

You know, I've realized that I haven't actually known a lot of other Virgo Venuses, so it can be hard for me to compare mine to those who have it direct. I know only one other person who has Virgo Venus, and he is a Scorpio (and one of my closest friends). I do seem to have a lot of Virgo/Libra/Scorpio friends with the Libra Venus though, which seems odd to me... Doesn't seem like they'd mix well with my Venus.


Thanks for the in-depth answer!
It is interesting that you know so many Libra Venus people. I do, too! At some point I kept wondering how we even get along but it seems to work. Is it just me or have a lot of people (and I mean A LOT) Venus in Libra?
I only know two other people with Venus in Virgo. It seems to be rare-

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Dreaming111
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posted September 10, 2012 10:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dreaming111     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks Ami,
That was very well put. I have to say though it's hard to read a venus in virgo's mind. Even if you want to please them, they won't be direct enough to tell you. So that leaves the other person working helpless with little direction.

They do seem to care for detail but then most virgo aspects are so.

One thing is they will take care of you, when you are down. That's a big big plus. They are cuddle bunnies lol. They will get you soup and massage your head.

The down side is that their attention to you might not be as stable if say you did something minor to turn them off.

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